I woke up at 6:15 am. I was tired and thought I should go back to bed, but we all know how this goes, right? GAMBLE.
I went out to get some iced coffee at Starbucks. I meant to time the walk, but forgot. My guess is that it is about ten minutes? I got a trenta iced coffee (that is a size up from large) and a McDonalds breakfast sandwich and went back to the room….where I immediately dropped my trenta iced coffee. It landed upside down, which was good in that it didn’t all spill out since the top was on it. But was bad because it made the straw shatter and there were a million tiny green plastic pieces now floating in my coffee. No no no no no no no no noooooooooooooooooooo. NOT MY TRENTA ICED COFFEE YOU BASTARD.
So anyway. After eating my breakfast with no iced coffee, I took a shower and headed downstairs to use my Caesars $10 free play. I also had a promotional offer to swipe my card and get a multiplier on points. Of course, zero of the kiosks were working, and the Total Rewards Center was not yet open. Of course. So I played anyway, because degenerate could not wait until later. Fortunately, I hit this:
I took the Jitney, to The Borgata. The Boragata actually has a Starbucks, so I got to get another coffee. But I still will forever mourn my OG dead coffee. RIP OG dead iced coffee. I miss you.
I had $10 free play here, from a mailer and also $10 from MyVegas. I stopped to get the MyVegas free play loaded, and the woman at the booth let me know I had $10 more, which I already knew…but we’ll get back to this in a minute.
I tried to use the free play on a quarter Cleopatra Keno and nope, it will not let me. So I play $20 through and then try again. Now it lets me. But it is only showing I have $10, not $20. Maybe I have to play the $10 and then I can get the other $10? Nope. Nothing I do will make the second $10 show up. Back to the booth I go. She confirms she can still see $10 available on my account and suggests maybe I use the slot machines near the booth since “they usually work pretty well.” Um, shouldn’t ALL the machines work pretty well? Or even maybe just the one that let me use my first $10? How annoying. I ended up losing the $10 on some crappy slot I played just because it let me download the free play.
Then I went back to Cleopatra Keno. I kept doubling $20 bills on here. It was so cool. I love this game and it has been a long time since I have actually won playing. I won enough that I was able to play nickel Ultimate X video poker. The machines here do not let you choose hands so you must play a minimum of five hands, which is 50 coins per game = $2.50 on five play nickels. My first nice hit was this:
Shortly after, I hit this, which seems really cool. But I felt like had JUST sat down to play and wanted to play. I didn’t want to cash out and not play. So I played down to 1200 credits = $60.
As I was cashing out, I noticed a game named Carnival in Rio. I thought “Hey! I want to go to Rio! I should play that! So I did. And I hit a $205.60 bonus. Sweet!
I left Bogata up $100. Then I took the Jitney to Trump Taj Mahal.
I lost $40 on video poker but then won $80 on a Buffalo slot machine so I was up. When I was in Las Vegas in December, the bulk of my wins were on Keno and Buffalo slots. This is not supposed to happen, video poker is where it is supposed to happen. Guess I got lucky!
Once here, I got my $20 free play and $20 dining credit from my Groupon. I was told I could just charge my meals to the room and the $20 would be taken off when I checked out. Great! But I am not staying here? I ended up with a voucher.
I get a large iced coffee from the Dunkin Donuts in Resorts. Every casino should have one of these. So good.
I turned my $20 free play into $50 on nickel Supertimes Pay video poker. Then I lost the $50. Then I lost $20 cash. Then I decided to stop playing and eat. I wanted to try their new restaurant, Burger Bar, but it does not open until 4:00 and it is not even 3:00 yet. So I went to Breadsticks cafe, which has now moved upstairs to make room for Margaritaville downstairs.
I sit down, place my order and never see my server again. I played on my phone, including taking a photo of this tram going down the boardwalk. I have never see this before:
I play some more on my phone, check Facebook, respond to an email. I get bored and start writing in my journal. Finish that and realize that the couple next to me, who were seated after me, are now on desert and my burger is still not here. Quick check of the time and it is 3:45. I have been here for 45 minutes. Where is my food?
Another server asks me if someone is helping me. I say yes because the answer is yes. I should have elaborated that while I do have a server who took my order, I haven’t seen her in 45 minutes. The next time he passes by, I do say this. He then goes in the back and out pops my server with my burger and fries, which have been sitting somewhere for all this time, as they are now cold.
I am starving, I eat the cold burger. The second server comes over and apologizes to me, tells me the first server had gone on lunch. But it is okay, he is going to be helping me now. I tell him that my food was sitting somewhere, show him the cold fries. He offers me new fries, I tell him I have already been here over an hour, please give me my check. He does.
I obviously do not want to tip. But now that I have a new server, do I have to tip? I don’t know the protocol and I do not want server #1 to get a tip so I don’t leave one. Sorry server #2 but I am not taking any chances here.
I leave and walk past Burger Bar, where I originally wanted to eat. It is now after 4:00 so they are open. Sigh.
I walk back to Caesars in the rain. I stopped at Ballys to use my $10 free play and lost that and a $20. Over to Caesars where I did the promotional swipe to get a multiplier on my points today and got a 10x. I also had this promotion available at Ballys but I had forgotten and was not going to go back.
I take a nap and when I wake up, I am not sure what to do. It is 8:00 pm, I do have $100 left for today’s gambling budget. This is shocking after the beating I took at Resorts. I want to go back to Borgata. But maybe I shouldn’t. $100 could go in five minutes, do I really want to go all the way there for five minutes? What’s to stop me from going degenerate if I lose all my money before I finish an iced coffee? Maybe I should just stay here. But gambling. But you can have an extra $100 for tomorrow if you don’t go. BUT GAMBLING.
I flipped a coin and it told me that I should stay in my room. Oh yeah? Screw you stupid penny on tails, you can’t tell me what to do. You’re not my real mom.
And off to Borgata I went.
I wanted to play Cleopatra Keno so bad but obviously, all four of them were occupied. I tried playing the bank behind them and lost $40. Cleopatra Keno was still occupied.
I walk past the Carnival in Rio machine I won $200 on earlier, and it takes my money. I walk back to Cleopatra Keno, still occupied.
I walk further into the casino. Guys, Borgata’s casino is so enormous. You can walk forever in here. And I did. Until I found a four game slot machine, where you can pick the four games you play. I don’t remember what I started on, but I was losing. So I ended up moving down to two games of Buffalo and then this happened:
I cash out and try to walk back to Cleopatra Keno. This took so long because I got so lost. I had no clue where i was for at least twenty minutes. Finally I got my bearings and made it back to Cleopatra Keno. Still occupied.
I go back out and play some video poker. I saw a guy waiting for a handpay, he had hit a Royal Flush on Ultimate X with a 2x multiplier = $2000. I did not hit anything.
Back to Cleopatra Keno. STILL OCCUPIED.
I tried to find the Buffalo game I won on and could not find it. I didn’t know where I was when I was playing it, I most certainly do not know where I am now. Where am I? Why is this casino so HUGE? Oh my god, is there like a trick door and I am in another casino and just don’t know it? I walked all over just half an hour ago and none of this looks familiar. Oh hey there’s a different Buffalo slot machine yay! And then this happens:
Seriously guys. Slot machines have terrible pay outs yet Buffalo keeps paying me. I want to play Buffalo slots now and forever.
I cash out and try and find Cleopatra Keno again. I managed to accidentally happen upon Starbucks so I had a guide. Back to Cleopatra Keno. STILL FUCKING OCCUPIED. ARGH.
I play a couple of slots, nothing. I check Cleopatra Keno, still occupied. I sit down at Ultimate X and play this for a bit, losing money. I start to put another $20 in, then realize I only have one $20 bill left. The rest of my money is in hundreds. I need to either break another hundred, or leave NOW with this last $20 as I need it to buy something to drink on my way to the room.
I start reasoning with myself. Dude, you are throwing money away just so you can throw more money away if those people ever leave the Cleopatra Keno machines you are stalking. Stop being such a fucking idiot. You know what, I am right. I will stop. I get up, start to walk to the Jitney, which is a course that takes me past Cleopatra Keno…where holy fucking shit, SOMEONE IS GETTING UP FROM ONE OF THE MACHINES!!!! WHEEEEE! GET OUT AND STAY OUT.
I sit down. I play. I hit a bonus, I win $400. BAM.
I cash that out, I go to put another $20 in and remember I have no more $20’s left. So I cash out knowing that if I leave to break a bill and come back, this machine will be taken. And I am okay with that.
I leave Borgata with $700. Not too shabby.
While waiting for the Jitney, I saw this ad lit up on Golden Nugget across the way. Chachi. I have no idea if this is a current celebrity, but I hope as all hell it is Scott Baio coming out on stage with a handkerchief tied around his thigh.
I went back to Caesars and decided to let myself go nutso with $100. I do have a 10x multiplier on points, plus I am a degenerate. It took me hours to lose that $100. I kept going between Buffalo, Supertimes Pay video poker and Ultimate X video poker.