Category Archives: United States Travel

Las Vegas Strip Report Continues!

I wish I would have thought of that snappy post title a bit earlier!

Happy good morning Las Vegas!  Today will be my last full day here.  I need to finish visiting every casino on the Strip.  I need to gamble.  I need to get some photos of the Mirage atrium without a million people in the way.

mirage las vegas atirum lovemirage las vegas atirummirage las vegas waterfall in atrium

And the casino.

mirage las vegas casino

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I lost $100 on slots and stopped for breakfast.  I had a MyVegas reward for the Mirage buffet.  This buffet is not good, but it is convenient.  The hostess asked me if I wanted to be seated with someone.  What?!  NO?  “Oh I thought maybe you were here with someone.”  Yeah, my cute little stuffed dog who is probably still asleep upstairs.

After breakfast, I went upstairs and napped for an hour.  I wanted to sleep for so much longer.  But time’s a wasting.

I decided I would cross the street to Harrahs and play my $20 there before taking the monorail to MGM Grand.  At MGM Grand, I would use up all my quarters on Sigma Derby.   I was very excited when I walked outside and it was raining.   I get lucky when it is raining.

My favorite statue in all of Las Vegas.  Buck, Winnie and their dog, Chip.

buck and winnie status harrahs las vegas

Harrahs had some weirdo Buffalo machines.  You could choose the variance you wanted.  I tried the middle option.

buffalo slot machine selections harrahs las vegas

I turned a $20 to $40 and cashed out, mostly because I wanted to get to MGM Grand to get rid of these fucking quarters.

What up MyVegas mural!

mitzy myvegas

MGM Grand moved the Sigma Derby machine and it was really no longer inside the casino.  It was in a bar area near the entrance/exit to the pedestrian bridge to New York New York.  Where Rainforest Cafe used to be.  At the time of writing this though, I read that it is moved back into the casino.

I tried putting all my quarters in at once but I had too many and it began spitting  them back out.  I played and played and played.  I lost and lost and lost.  Then I had no quarters left and I was freeeeeeeeee!

new york new york las vegas

I walked across to New York New York.  I haven’t played here in many years.   When you first enter, there is a chair massage place.  I decided that after I played my $20, I was going to get a massage.

I went down into the casino and had my heart set on playing Buffalo.   I found one open machine.  It was on a corner and right next to it was a group of about seven people playing one machine.  All smoking.  All sharing the ashtray between their machine and mine.  I hate being crowded in but BUFFALO DAMMIT.

I play.

I get a bonus.

It keeps going.

And going.

And going.

Before I knew it, I had $600.

Buffalo slot machine win

AMAZING.

I played down to $600, cashed out and got my massage.   Seriously, my favorite stop on my Strip crawl, which was then followed by my least favorite stop.  Luxor.  I really should have went here when I was right here a couple of days ago.  But I didn’t.  So I went here now.

luxor las vegas sphinx half rain half sunluxor obelisk las vegas

I lost $200 here so fast.  SO FAST.  I still hadn’t gotten settled and comfortable when that much money was gone.  Holy shit.   Then cashing out my TITO took eleven years.  I could only find one working one.  The guy in front of me was so drunk and kept putting the wrong pin in for his debit card.  The machine kept rejecting the card.  He would try again…I am growing more and more impatient.  Then some woman asks me if she can go ahead of me.  I ask her what is it about her that makes her time more valuable than my time.  She called me a bitch and I told her to go fuck herself and stormed out without cashing my $.43 TITO.  Fuck you fucking Luxor.  NEVER AGAIN.

From here I thought I was going to go to Tropicana and Hooters, but simply did not.  Instead I took the bus to Orleans, stopping at Wild Wild West for cigarettes.  Wild Wild West is owned by Stations and they have incredibly cheap cigarettes.  I bought three cartons.

Orleans was a bust.  I played Cleopatra Keno for a very long time.  Every time I thought I was going to be done with my $20, I would hit a bonus and go back up around $20.  It was actually getting boring.  And I needed to leave.  I have to use a MyVegas reward for a Bellagio buffet tonight as it is my last  night here.

I ended up cashing out and taking a cab to Mirage to drop off my cigarettes.  Then I walked to Bellagio.  The line for the buffet took 50 minutes.  You can also buy a line pass for $15.  Which doesn’t mean you get to cut the line entirely.  You just get to wait on a shorter line.  Fuck that.  I would have gotten off the line and found something better to do with my last night in Vegas.  But I am a cheap fuck and free = YAY.

After eating, I played my $20 on my favorite Cleopatra Keno machine here.  I cashed out at $40.  Normally I would keep putting money in, but I am on a mission to gamble in every Strip casino.  So off I go.

I took the tram to Monte Carlo.  First order of business, Starbucks.  Second, GAMBLE.  I hit a $100 bonus on a Flinstones slot machine.  Gotta go cash that out and continue on!  I went to Aria next and lost $20 in  Buffalo slot machine.  Up next is Cosmopolitan.  Where I lost.  And lost.  And lost some more.  Then a lot more.  Than even more-more.  I want so badly to be loved by this place  that the past two times I have visited, I have gone insane.  I am sorry my wallet, I will try better to be less of a moron.  I probably lost $300 here in half an hour.  No joke.

I wanted to finish up with Planet Hollywood, Paris and Ballys.  But I was too full of hate to cross the street.   I walked back to Mirage.  On my way through the casino, I passed a new Zorro slot machine.  I played it, and got into a fight with it.  This game was awful.  Even with a $175 bonus, I hated it.  Zorro keeps saying “I fight for the people.”  I kept getting increasingly annoyed with it and before we knew it, I was a crazy lady talking to Zorro aloud.  Telling him “ALL RIGHT, WE GET IT!  SHUT UP!”

Then I went to my room.  Where this was my night time view.  Absolutely beautiful.

mirage hotel las vegas room view night

Las Vegas Trip Report: Visiting Strip Casinos

When we last left off, I had just had my biggest win of any Vegas trip.  I went to my room for a break.  But not for long because I have a ticket for Mystere, right next door at Treasure Island.  I took some pretty photos on my walk over.

las vegas strip from miragemirage dolphin fountains las vegaswynn palazzo las vegastreasure island las vegas sign

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I stopped to play some Buffalo and I guess today is OH HEY BUFFALO DAY YAY.
treasure island buffalo winI cashed that baby out and went to see Mystere again.  I absolutely love this show.

Afterwards, I was starving.  My itinerary said to go to Ellis Island for dinner.  My common sense said to continue working on my goal of playing in every casino on the Strip.  My gambling addiction said to go Downtown and gamble.   So Downtown we went!  While walking to the bus, I saw these fountains at Wynn I had never seen before.  Are they new or am I just oblivious?
wynn las vegas fountainAlso, can we talk about how much I love the camera on my new phone?  Samsung Galaxy S7.
treasure island las vegas nightI went to Binions and stopped to a burger.  While doing so, I somehow calmed the fuck down and decided to follow my common sense side and go back to the Strip to continue on visiting every casino.

First stop:  Stratosphere!
stratosphere las vegas

I didn’t venture very far into the casino because I found a Buffalo slot machine and played that.  I cashed out even after a bonus.  I went back outside and took the bus to Circus Circus.

circus circus hotel las vegas circus circus las vegascircus circus casino entrance

I guess Circus Circus either doesn’t take MLife cards, they still have their own slot club.  I feel like I had this information in the back of my head, but I totally forgot about it.  So I didn’t use a card here, which I wish I would have since I did end up playing for a long time on a Buffalo machine that kept bringing me back up to $20 every time I got down.

Then I switched machines and hit a bonus for $280.  Not sure why I do not have a photo of this?

I cashed out and stopped in the restroom before leaving.  As I was in the stall, I hear two women going at it.  By “it” I mean screaming about wanting to fuck each other up over some guy.  I am sitting there waiting for it to go beyond screaming at each other and for fists to start flying.  This is going on FOREVER and I say fuck it, I can’t spend the rest of my night in this stall.  I get out and discover it is ONE crazy lady fighting with herself.  She is doing both “parts” of the arguing, with herself, in the mirror.  Okay great.

Next up is Slots a Fun.

slots a fun las vegas casino entrance

To say this place is depressing is an under statement.  It is mostly empty, most of the machines have broken bill acceptors.  The one machine I could find to take my money had broken buttons so I had to touch the screen to hold cards.  I wasn’t planning on staying long but I felt bad for the poor cocktail waitress working in a graveyard so I ordered a soda from her.

On my way out, I saw security chase a family out from their bowling area because they had little kids.  You need to be 21 to be inside the casino.   Ah duh.

I would recommend that if you are in Vegas with friends and want to hang out with just your friends, this might be the place for it.  You would have it all to yourself.

slots a fun las vegas beer pongslots a fun las vegas

There was a woman vomiting into a trash can to the right of me as I took these photos.

My next stop was Encore.

encore las vegas

Obligatory photo of the Resorts World sign.

resorts world las vegas

And the butterfly statue.

encore las vegas butterflies

I played Buffalo slots here, of course.  I was on my third $20 when I hit a bonus for $50 and decided that was my cue to go.   I probably would have stayed longer, but I have places to go and money to lose.  As I was cashing out, I saw a penny on heads on the ground. I picked that up.  I also heard a THUMP and realized I had left my brand-new-just-purchased-at-Walgreens Diet Pepsi at my machine and that was the sound of someone throwing it out.

Obviously I rescued it because I am at fancy Encore and it is MY Diet Pepsi dammit.

I walked between Encore and Wynn and accidentally found the Popeye statue.  I would tell you what this is about, except I have no idea.

popeye statue wynn las vegas

While trying to find a machine to play, I found a Wynn Megabucks machine and figured this would be my only opportunity to win the Megabucks.  I allow myself to put a $100 through.  Normally a $100 bill would be too rich for my blood, but I won $1800 today so why not?

wynn megabucks machine las vegas

I didn’t win the Megabucks.

encore las vegas flowers

Next stop is Palazzo.  I lost here real quick and moved onto my least favorite place, The Venetian.  This place reeks so bad.

venetian rialto bridge las vegas

I stopped at Walgreens again to get some more drinks, and to get rid of some change.  My purchase came to $7.99 and I got mad and told the cashier I was giving him 99 cents in change.  He was fine with it and I unloaded a fuckton of nickels on him.

In the Venetian, I actually won $100 on a Cleopatra Keno.   Some machines here have USB ports to charge your phones.

venetian las vegas plug and play machines

There were also these signs on the TITO cash out/ATM machines.  I wonder how many issues they had with this that they had to put signs up.  How degenerate do you have to be to try and take a cash advance on your BUSINESS credit card?!

venetian las vegas business cards

Next up was Casino Royale.

casino royale las vegas lit up night

I was too lazy to get a card here so I just lost quick and left.

I wanted to continue but I stopped myself from pulling an all nighter and just gambling until the morning came.  I kind of wish I had kept going.

Back at Mirage, I was happy to give back $200 of my winnings before going to bed.

MyVegas Facebook Game Players, This One Is for You.

This morning, I wake up at Fremont Hotel for the last time and get in some last morning Cleopatra Keno.  Before heading out, I take a penny and throw it to see if it lands on heads (this means I will win) or tails (this means I will lose.)  IT. FUCKING. LANDS. ON. THE. SIDE. UP. AGAINST. THE. ARMOIRE.

YOU

MOTHER

FUCKER.

I stop at Dunkin Donuts, intending to pay for my coffee in all change because I cannot handle how many pounds of it I am accumulating.   I unzip the change compartment and drop my wallet.  There is so much change on the floor.  There is more change on the floor than there is at the bottom of Lake Bellagio.  I am so mad.  I pick up everything that is on heads, leaving behind who knows how much money, and pay for my drink and storm away SO MAD.

I start playing and I doubled a few $5 bills on Cleopatra Keno.  I went to visit my new bestie Double Double Bonus video poker machine and she gives me four of a kind sevens.

quarter sevens

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I went to Binions to eat a last comped meal here.   Then I played a Buffalo slot machine and won $80 after having lost $80.

I played here for a couple of hours.   I did everything from Keno to slots to video poker and back to Keno.  I got two Motherlode spins.  The first was a buy one get one in the cafe, the second one was $25 free play.  I used that and ran it up to $30 cash.

I stopped at the soda machine next to the Player’s Club and used a fuckton of nickels to get a bottle of Diet Pepsi.  My bag is almost at a manageable weight now!

My notes say “I have $290 on me and I have no idea how this is possible with all that I played.”  I definitely started the day with $200 so this is a win.

I went back to Fremont and packed to move to the Strip.  I booked a two night MyVegas reward at Mirage.

I waited for the CX bus.  I tried using nickels to buy a bus ticket from the ticket machine.  I broke the machine.  As I was waiting, the bus guy who stands there to answer all bus questions, seeks me out to yap at.  There are like 20 people looking super confused about what to do about the now broken ticket machine.  (There is one about five feet to the right that is not broken.)   He doesn’t help any of them.  He just stands there alternating between yelling at them that the WAX bus does not go to the Strip (it does) and talking to me about how horrible Las Vegas is.  He keeps lecturing me about how I shouldn’t gamble.  Who the fuck sent you?  Am I on Candid Camera?

The bus comes and I take it to Treasure Island.  One thing i like about this bus is that it stops on both the Treasure Island side of the Strip and the Palazzo side of the Strip.  This was my view from the bus stop.

encore wynn las vegas

I walk through Treasure Island to pick up my ticket to see Mystere.  I saw this just three months ago, and many times before that.  But I just love this show so much that I want to see it again.  And again.  And again.  I used a Cirque du Soleil gift card, which I got for a discount on raise.com.  I also had a $10 discount on for downloading their app, so a $50 gift card cost me $34.   I had a leftover balance on a gift card I bought a year and a half ago to see O, which covered the rest of the ticket.

mystere cirque du soleil ticket las vegas

I picked up my ticket and took the tram to Mirage.  The check in line was long, but moved fast.  When I got to the counter, the guy behind it starts off with “May I please….” and then stops and looks and says “OH!  Thank you for having your ID and credit card out!”  I give my usual “I don’t understand why people act like they don’t know they need to have it out!” rant.  Seriously, if a hundred people take a full minute to get it out at the desk, that is a hundred minutes that other people could be checking in faster.  He laughs and hands me my keys and off I go.

I open the door to my room and oh hey, I got an incredible view!

mirage hotel las vegas room view

The room is very nice, as is expected.

mirage hotel las vegas bedmirage hotel las vegas roommirage hotel las vegas bathroomI drop my stuff off and go downstairs to use my free play.  I realized once I am downstairs that I have left my reward print out in my room.  I have also left my keys in my room.  Mother fucker.  I have to go back to the front to get new keys.  There are a million people there.  I try at the mobile check in desk to see if they will print me a key.  Some guy tries to cut me on line.  I start yelling at him, he starts yelling back.  I push past him and the person behind the counter acts like this is not happening and reprints my keys for me.  I am just scoring all over the damned place here.

I go all the way back to my room.  This walk is hideous.  You never realize how far away the rooms are from the front desk until you walk it multiple times in a row.  I miss my Fremont room where the elevator was 43 steps from the casino.

I now am ready to go AGAIN.   I stop and get my free play loaded to my card.  I walk all the way to Starbucks for an Iced Cinnamon Almondmilk Macchiato and then I am ready to play.  I sit down at a quarter video poker game and at the last second, decide to not play it.

I turn and walk a bit and see an old school Buffalo slot machine.  I decide to play this.

The way free play works here is that you have to put in enough money to cover the first bet.  You play it and the machine reimburses you.  I put in a $20 and decide to see where I am after running the $25 through.   Since I am playing with free play, I decide to play max bet, which is $2.  Guys.

buffalo slot machine 700 win

I decide to play down to a cash out point.

GUYS.

buffalo slot machine 114750 win

Are you fucking kidding me?

I decided to play down to $1800, hoping for a third bonus.  I got one, but it wasn’t a big one so I cashed out.

1881 tito

Can you believe this?!  A $1800 win.  ON FREE PLAY.

HOLY SHIT.

I went to my room with my cash and showed it to my cute little stuffed dog, who was very happy for me.  Not only am I rich, this now makes my plan of gambling in every Strip casino easier because I have a nice buffer of cash for it.

It is now 2:35.  I walk over to Caesars to play there.

caesars las vegasI didn’t realize they got rid of their people mover until I tried to find it and it was not there.

I hate this casino.  In addition to always getting lost, I never win here.  But I had to do it.  I played some random slot machine near the door because no way in hell was I going to venture into the casino and not be able to find my way out.  I put in a $20 and as I reached the end, I got a $20 bonus.  Good enough, I can leave now!

I crossed to Cromwell and ran to the Ultimate X video poker machines I am in love with.   They keep moving the machines in that section all over the place.  I could not find an empty Ultimate X.  I played a quarter Double Double Bonus game and lost, and moved on.

cromwell las vegas

Next up, Flamingo.  I made a beeline to a Buffalo slot machine and some woman beat me to it.  So I played one a big down the aisle and I got a bonus and she did not.  It kept retrigerring and the machine was LOUD.  That woman was so pissed off at me.

I lost my $20 thought and moved onto the Linq.   The entire entrance to the casino was empty, except for one woman sitting next to the only Buffalo machine up there, talking on her cell phone.  Obviously I sat down right next to her and she was so pissed.  SORRY HONEY.   I lost $100 solely because my money was going so fast and I wasn’t ready to get up yet.  This is what I hate about the Strip.   It feels like it is impossible to just settle in and play.   You lose so fast that you have to keep getting up and moving and maybe I just want to sit here DAMMIT.

linq high roller las vegas linq las vegas

I went from here back to my room to take a little break before going to see Mystere.  This is also where I am going to take a break from today’s report.

Las Vegas Trip Report: Being Oblivious to a Shooting on the Strip

My sunlight alarm clock failed me today.  I slept until 9:00 am, even with the blinds completely open in the desert.

I am still at Fremont hotel, tonight will be my last night here before I move to the Strip.

I got up and got dressed.  Then something tragic happened.  My lucky penny from yesterday fell onto the floor and landed on tails.  Oh hell no.  I took a bunch of pennies out of my wallet and threw those around and picked up the ones that landed on heads.   The floor now has many pennies on tails scattered about and walking in my room means looking out for landmines.

I should also mention my current first world problem.  This is a problem that every person who plays slots, while being comped, faces.  Loose change.  I probably have about thirteen dollars in loose change on me by now.  All those times you cash out at an odd number really add up.  Since I am using cash for nothing, all my meals are comped, I am basically only able to get rid of $.33 every time I buy a Dunkin Donuts large iced coffee.  I cannot keep up with the growing change.  Even with my quarters out of my bag, set aside to play Sigma Derby, my bag is getting heavier and heavier with all this change.

I started my day playing Cleopatra Keno on a machine I have never played on before. All my normal Keno machines near the lobby are full so I had to seek out newer, funner machines.   This one hated being a Keno machine and had no problems letting me know this.  So I switched her to Double Double Bonus video poker and she rewarded me kindly.

quarter twos with kicker video poker fremont casino las vegas

quarter eights fremont casino las vegas

quarter jacks fremont casino las vegas

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I cashed out, grabbed breakfast to go and went to my room to eat.

Next up, I decided to get a head start on my plan to visit every Strip casino.  I agreed ahead of time I could skip SLS, but every other one was a must.  I haven’t been in some of these properties in many years.   I spend so much time just gambling, I thought it would be nice to get out and about and have to keep moving.

I got on the SDX bus and almost didn’t make it to the Strip.  We stopped at Bonneville transit center.  There were security guards on every bus.  I thought at the time, that this had to do with a gunman at Bellagio the night before.

Some guy got on the bus without a pass and the security guards kept telling him to get off.  He would not. This went on for so long that I considered giving up and going back to Fremont Street.  But I didn’t.   I also considered getting off this bus and getting on a Deuce bus instead.  But I didn’t.

This guy kept refusing to budge.  So we sat there and watched it escalate.  Finally someone intervened and tried to hand the guy $5 so he could pay to ride the bus.  Security blocked this and the next thing I know, this little guy took on three large security guards and pretty much won.  Until they pulled out the pepper spray.   It was an amusing viewing of human nature.  All the tourists gasped in horror and ran to the front of the bus.  All the locals grabbed their cell phones and ran to the back to begin filming.

A whole lotta bloodshed later, the guy was on the ground in handcuffs while the three bloodied and exhausted security guards stood there, gasping for breath.   Finally, we were free to go.

Once we hit Caesars, there was an announcement that the Bellagio stop was closed and we would be re-routed.  I still thought this was because of the Bellagio gunman.  We got back on the Strip on Tropicana and I continued down to Mandalay Bay.  I cannot remember the last time I was here.

mandalay bay las vegas

I sit down to play.  My first visit to the Strip on this trip.   Intending to go to every Strip casino.   It was one hell of a bus ride there.  I just want to sit and unwind and play.

I didn’t even get through one cigarette before my money was gone.  Insert a second $20, gone.  Third, gone.  Fuck me, this is how it is going to go.

I am not going to sit here throwing away more money just for the hell of it so I get up and leave, even though I really would prefer to just stay here for awhile.

Next up is Excalibur.  I skipped Luxor because I had a MyVegas buffet to redeem at Excalibur and it was much later than I planned to be here, because of the whole bus debacle.

excalibur las vegas

The new and improved Excalibur brunch buffet is really good.  I am in love with the fact that they have self serve drinks, which include Sobe pomegranate water.  This stuff is soooooo good.
After eating, I stop to play and lose $60 real quick.  I could double back to Luxor, but instead decide I will go to Orleans, then come back to Hooters, Tropicana and hit Luxor then.  But as I was walking to the bus stop, a WAX bus was pulling up.  I took it as a sign and got on it, headed back to Downtown.   I have been gone three hours now and all I have done was hit two casinos, lost more than half a day’s budget and consumed way too much Sobe water.

As I am on the bus, people are talking about the Bellagio gunman and how he escaped on a bus.  Or so I thought.  Since I have not turned on the news once since I have been here, I didn’t yet know that there were two separate incidents in the past 24 hours, both involving men with guns at Bellagio.  One was the gunman that I knew about.  The second one that I didn’t realize happened, was where a man with a gun got on a Deuce bus at the Bellagio stop and shot and killed a person.  Thus began an hours-long standoff with police.

A friend of mine was staying at Cosmopolitan.  The Bellagio bus stop is pretty much right outside the Cosmopolitan entrance. Just a few feet.  Cosmopolitan cleared their floor and sent all the hotel guests back to their rooms.  My friend was sequestered in her room for a bit, with this entire thing happening under her balcony.  Here is a photo she took:

cosmopolitan balcony

That is some scary shit.  This probably started as I was still at Bonneville with the whole security scuffle.  This was also the reason my bus was rerouted.  I had no idea at all that any of this was going on.

Once I was back Downtown, I went gambling.  I walked over to El Cortez and played an old school Buffalo slot machine.  I won $200, no photo.

I walked back to Fremont and again, I had to herd a bunch of bar drinkers away from the Bonus Streak Ultimate X penny machines so I could play.

This wasn’t working for me because I could not take being in the middle of a drunk hangout spot.  So I decided to go to Santa Fe Station. On the way to the bus stop, I took some photos of Fremont Street.

This is I think where the strip club used to be. Now it is a lone food truck.

food truck fremont street las vegas

binions las vegas..

four queens las vegas golden gate las vegasplaza las vegas plaza mural las vegasThe bus ride to Santa Fe Station is about half an hour.  It takes longer to get down the Strip on the Deuce.  My first time here, I had an accidental $852.50 win on video Keno.  So now I want to go here on every trip, obviously.   There was even more incentive when they were still participating in MyVegas and I could get a free meal for traveling here.  But still, I am willing to take a ride.
santa fe station las vegas

My biggest win here was discovering a new drink at Starbucks.  Iced Cinnamon Almondmilk Macchiato.  Oh yeah, that’s the stuff.  This drink was so delicious that I actually said “This is so delicious” aloud to myself when I took my first sip.

I played around and lost.  I stopped at the gift shop to use my points for free cigarettes.   Then I walked to the bus stop.  And then I checked the bus schedule, which I should have done before leaving the casino.  I have an hour to wait.  I am not going back in there, they will steal all my money.   I did consider going back for another Iced Cinnamon Almondmilk Macchiato and had to stop myself.

Side note, ordering that drink requires speaking more syllables than I wish to use when speaking to a stranger.

I take the bus back Downtown.  I stop at the Double Double Bonus video poker machine I won on this morning and hit four of a kind nines.  This seems like a good place to stop, as I am up $300 for the day.  So I do.

quarter nines fremont casino las vegas

Good night Fremont Street.  Bonus photo of California that I forgot to include in my last installment.

California neon

 

Find a Penny, Pick It Up and All Day Long You’ll Have Good Luck!

Once again, I went to bed with the blinds open so that the sun was my alarm clock.  I am still at Fremont hotel.  This morning I lingered around my room for awhile to delay my scheduled degeneracy.   I was out by 9:30.

I stopped at the Cleopatra Keno machines near the lobby.  These machines are a mere 43 steps from the room elevators.  Super convenient for me.

I lost $10 before winning $55.  I cashed out with $53.

Breakfast was at Binions today, using comps.  Once  I was done eating, I continued on my quest to play a minimum of $20 in every Downtown casino.  For all the time I spend down here, it sure has been a long time since I have darkened the doors of Golden Nugget and Golden Gate.  Maybe I just don’t like gold?

My first stop though, was Plaza.  I have a free play coupon and I want to win big with it.  The gambling gods denied me my wish.

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Next was Golden Gate.  I haven’t been in here since the renovations.  It looks completely different.   A good blogger would have photos to show you.  So I do not have photos to show you.

I lost playing Cleopatra Keno.  Then I lost playing Buffalo.  Then lost some more playing Cleopatra Keno again.

Up next was Golden Nugget.  I took advantage of being here by stopping at Starbucks for a venti iced green tea latte.  These are so good.  I knew I was going to lose here, but I had to try.  Golden Nugget is very Strip-like in every way, including that it stole my money with the quickness.

I went back to my room for a nap, but I could not sleep.  So I decided to take the free shuttle over to Sam’s Town and use my free play coupons.

I got off the shuttle and instead of immediately entering the casino, I walked to Boulder Highway to stop at the Rebel gas station for cheap cigarettes.   On the ground outside, was a penny on heads.  This must mean my luck is about to change!

Oh hey, look at that!

quarter jacks sams town

OH HEY LOOK AT THAT.

dealt quarter aces sams town

First person to mention the lack of a kicker will accidentally hit max bet on their next time at a slot machine and lose all their money.

I came back to Fremont and went to my room to make out with my winnings.  Then I continued on my quest to visit every Downtown casino.  This is day three of trying to accomplish this.  How on earth am I going to handle my goal of visiting every Strip casino this trip, if I cannot manage to get through all these tiny, clustered places?

As I walked over to Main Street Station, I stopped at Lappert’s for an iced chai latte.   I took some photos of the ice cream flavors for anyone who is interested.

lapperts ice cream flavors at california las vegas lapperts ice cream flavors california las vegasI played in Main Street Station and my penny was still holding strong.

quarter twos main street station video poker las vegas quarter sixes

I left Main Street Station a winner!   I went to play in California and hit $80 on a Buffalo slot machine.  Today is such a great day!

I decided to celebrate my wins not by degenerate gambling, but by getting a massage at Happy Feet at El Cortez.  I love this place.  $20 for an hour long foot massage.   I have never seen anyone else in here, so I am scared they will not last long.  So everyone please, PLEASE, please go here so they stay in business.

I felt so good after my massage.  I sat down and played a Buffalo slot where you play four games at one time.  I was surprised that I was able to last on here without going broke.  I cashed out so many times that I had to keep cashing my TITO tickets because I was out of cash.  I left here up $300.

On my way back to my room at Fremont, I had to “GET OFF MY LAWN” some party goers who were hanging out at the Ultimate X Bonus Streak machines.  They may have cursed me because I could not win a damned thing.

Off to bed I go, up $600 for the day WAHOO!

Secret Trip to Las Vegas Continues!

I went to sleep last night in my Four Queens suite, with the drapes open on purpose so I would be woken up by the sun.   I love looking out the window first thing in the morning and wondering what is going to happen to me out there today.four queens suite las vegas room viewToday’s goal is to play at Four Queens and get them to love me.  I am not sure if I succeeded, but I sure could not win a damned thing.  I started with a $10 free play coupon and lost that.  Then kept going.

Sometimes you put in money and you play.  And then other times, you put in money and it just vanishes and you do not even get to play.  This was one of those latter mornings.  It is so frustrating.  My coffee didn’t even reach a temperature where I could take a sip without burning my mouth and already I am halfway through today’s budget.

Finally, a win.

quarter twos

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I cash out and go for breakfast at Magnolias.   Mushroom and swiss omelette, paid for with comps.

I head to the room to pack and get ready to move across the street to Fremont.   I had my choice of any hotel in the Boyd family for this stay and I deliberately picked Fremont.  I know the rooms are tiny, but I wanted to try being in the same building at Dunkin Donuts.  Every time I go out when I am downtown, that is my first stop.  I also thought it would be cool to be on Fremont Street, rather than one block off.  I thought it would save me the last minute degeneracy before going to bed at California.  I don’t really think I made a good decision here.

When I originally booked the room, I had to do so on the telephone since the website was malfunctioning for many days.  I told the woman my dates, she booked them, gave me a confirmation and I hung up.  Then realized she never asked me what type of room I wanted.  A quick check online told me she booked me a nonsmoking room.  For the wrong dates.  And the wrong amount of nights.

I called back and got that fixed. Then I checked in and for some inexplicable reason, instead of the required $100 incidental hold, I had a hold for a really weird amount, something like $280.80.   I asked at the front desk about it and he told me it was probably just a mistake.  The room was showing as comped.  This was really just the final straw for me ever staying here again.  Between the website not working, to the woman booking me the wrong dates / wrong number of days and now this.   None of these ruined my trip, but with the amount of mistakes made, I cannot trust this property to not make even bigger ones in the future.

I had a last minute win of $100 on a Buffalo slot machine while I was moving.  Literally sitting at a Buffalo machine with my bag, in the middle of a move.  To right across the street.  Because going longer than the twenty seconds it takes to move, without gambling?   Yeah nah.

I got room 435.  It was as tiny as I remember.  Actually, maybe the room isn’t THAT tiny, but the bathroom makes it feel tiny.  It makes it clear you are in an older property.

fremont hotel las vegas beds

fremont hotel las vegas bathroom

room view fremont hotel las vegas

I headed out, stopping at Walgreens for some water.   Then went to El Cortez to use a free play coupon.  You used to get to stick your hand in a giant…thing….words escape me now, and pull out an envelope.  Now you do it digitally, which is kind of anticlimactic.  I won $10.  Played around and had it up to $100 before running out the door with $60.  I would like to get back on the El Cortez comp radar, but if I don’t, that’s fine too.

el cortez las vegas

I went back to Fremont and found penny Ultiimate X Bonus Streak video poker.  These were so much fun, and very volatile.  They are also located right next to the bar. The bar is a big hang out place, without anywhere near enough seats for the hanger outers.  So they all spill onto the machines where they sit without playing.  You kind of have to kick them out.  Then once you do that, they are still RIGHT THERE.  Super loud and having fun as you are trying to gamble. GO AWAY.

My notes say I moved onto quarters and hit four of a kind nines and Queens, for a $120 cash out.  My photos say it never happened.  My memory says it is not getting involved in this argument.

As I continue typing my notes into sentences, here is the next block of indecipherable text: “SuperTimes Pay, $20-0?  Or $60-0?  I seriously just played ten minutes ago and I cannot remember how much I put in.”

Have I ever told you that I do not drink in Vegas?  Because I don’t.

Dinner was a Binions burger, that I used the $10 dining credit from Binions’s Motherlode promotion to pay for.  When I got to the cashier, she was so surprised to see me have my player’s card and ID out before she had to ask for it.  We talked a bit about why do people do this?  You know you need to show your card and ID if using comps.  Why do you never get it out?!  She remembered me for the rest of my trip.

binions las vegas

I wanted to play in Binions but today was the day I was trying to get points at Four Queens for future offers. I lost around this casino until I could not stand myself anymore.  Then I went to the Player’s Club to use my double points coupon.  I had 397 points today.  I hope this gets me something.

I walked over to Downtown Grand.  I had $25 free play here.  Two coupons from American Casino Guide and $5 that was just randomly on my card.  I lost this playing Cleopatra Keno.

Next stop: The D.  I feel like they hate me here.  I always show up with either a super sized bottle of water or super sized coffee, and play at the bar. The bartenders here keep asking me if I am sure I do not want a drink.  I am sure.  Not sure if this is low self esteem talking, but I feel like they are mad at me for taking their tips away.  I lost $20 here, which fulfilled my “I want to play in every Downtown casino” wish and moved on.fremont street las vegas

I went back to Fremont and played Ultimate X Bonus Streak again.  A $20 can last either ten seconds, or ten hours on this game.  I did pretty well with making it last.  I eventually cashed out with $50 only because I was falling asleep at the machine.

I ended the day down $75.

The Surprise Las Vegas Trip Report

Hi Guys!  So I decided to go to Vegas and not tell anyone.  I figured I could handle acknowledging maybe three people doing a smug “I told you so” about me not going back.  I will also let you know I have already acknowledged four of these comments.  So if you must, feel free.  But I am going to ignore you.

I had some vacation time booked from work.  I was going to go somewhere.  I booked flights to and from Vegas.  Then I got buyer’s remorse and cancelled them within 24 hours.

I kept watching the rates and eventually, booked again.  Then came time to book my rooms.

It started with Boyd being a dick.  If you are a Boyd player, you already know the deal.  If you are not a Boyd player, then let me summarize it for you.  Boyd completely stopped their offers for a tiny bit.  Looking back, we now all know they were just adjusting their comp system so your comped nights could be used at all properties, rather than separate offers for separate properties.  But at the time, we did not know this because there was no communication.  I did however, have my Sapphire reward which is three free nights, immediately after making Sapphire.

My Sapphire reward was good at any Boyd property.  My choices for other nights were to stay at Orleans or pay for a room.  I decided I was never going to stay at Orleans again.  I love that hotel and casino but honestly, I never leave it when I am there. It does not matter what my plans are, I can never leave.  I just sit for hours and go degenerate.  Sometimes I try to leave.  Sometimes I even make it outside.  But when I start walking to the bus stop, I get so annoyed at the lengths it takes to get anywhere that I go back inside.

(Yes, I am aware of the free shuttle, which goes nowhere I would want to go.)

So I decided to book and pay for Four Queens on Hotwire.  You can pick out which one is Four Queen because it is the only three star hotel without a resort fee.  It is usually around $30, which makes it cheaper than paying a resort fee on a comped Strip hotel.

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The last two nights were at the Mirage, from a MyVegas reward.  I had to pay the resort fee, but it evens out because by staying at an MLife property, I was able to use rewards that you can only use when staying at an MLife property.  Which means I got to use two rewards for the Bellagio buffet and $25 free play.

I get six rewards because degenerate.  So I booked a bunch of crap, not sure what I would exactly be using.  It ended up being brunch at Excalibur and breakfast at Mirage.  I also got a free candy bar from Hexx.

I really liked having a short and secret trip booked.  There wasn’t the build up, the insane time spent making an itinerary.  It felt light and care free.

I was armed with my American Casino Guide, but had issues getting my Member Rewards Book from Las Vegas Advisor.  They mailed it to me twice, and the post office ate it twice.  I did not expect them to keep sending me books.  But at the same time, I wanted my book.  I knew I could go pick it up, but I don’t drive and wasn’t really into taking the bus there from Downtown.  Luckily for me, they offered to have it dropped off at my hotel.  This company gets a ton of shit for their lack of customer service, but I have to say that they truly went above and beyond for me and I am so grateful.

I booked a flight that left NYC a bit earlier than normal so I arrived a little bit earlier than normal.  This seemed fair since my trip was going to be really short (for me.)  I actually got to see daylight outside the plane window.

view of daylight from flight to las vegas

view from plane window flight to vegasview from flight to las vegas

I landed in the JetBlue terminal, which McCarran likes to call the International Terminal without any consideration for people flying JetBlue who do not know they are now in the International Terminal since why would they be if they are not flying international?  I did not know where to catch the WAX bus here.  The signage was the opposite of helpful. So I took the shuttle that goes between terminals.  As I was getting off the shuttle at the OG terminal, the WAX bus was pulling in.  Wahoo!

As the bus is about to reach Bonneville Transit Center, I remember that I had downloaded “Luck Be A Lady Tonight” to my MP3 player, to bring me luck in Las Vegas.   I quickly put it on, in hopes that I can get through one full play before reaching my hotel.  I did, which was somehow the first time I had ever heard this song in it’s entirety?   It is supposed to be a light, fun song.  Yet somehow I got mad at it, like who the fuck are you to tell me what a lady does and does not do? Yes, there is something wrong with me.

I get off the bus and check into Four Queens.  I let the woman checking me in know that I would like a smoking room, but if she does not have one, that is totally fine.  When you book through Hotwire, they automatically add your preference as non smoking.  The last time i was here, you may remember I begged and begged for a smoking room, I will take your worst room ever, please.  And they gave me their worst room ever.  This time though, I am only going to be in my room for a few hours so I can live with whatever they give me.

She lets me know she does have a smoking room. YAY.  She hands me my keys and my Las Vegas Advisor that was dropped off.   I go to my room.  I unlock the door and inside is a suite.   SWEET!

four queens las vegas suitefour queens las vegas suite roomfour queens las vegas suite bathroomfou queens las vegas suite makeup areafour queens las vegas suite shower

Of course this is completely wasted on me because GAMBLOR, but it was still pretty cool.

I went outside and crossed the street to Binions.  My plan for this trip was to establish myself at both Binions and Four Queens.  Both properties share an owner, with only Four Queens having hotel rooms. I figured one full day of play at each may get me on their radar.  I have danced on their radar before, but fell completely off it. I’d like to try again.

At Binions, i had $10 free play from my Member Rewards book.  Turned that into $100 on Keno. This would be a very nice first night cash out, go to bed and still have a full budget with an additional $100.  But you know, the whole thing where I planned to give Binions a full play day?  That gave me the green light to lose that hundred, plus a full day’s budget, so I could hopefully get on the radar for a comped $30/night hotel.  Because obviously.

I played around for three hours.  I was up and down and up and down.  This was my biggest up:

dollar jacks binions

Binions has a Motherlode promotion.  You get to swipe up to three times a day.  At 5 points, 40 points and 300 points.   I got three swipes.  The first was for a free gift, that I didn’t even bother asking what it was.  The second was for $10 off their cafe.  This is an excellent prize.  The third was for $50 free slot play.  That was incredibly exciting for me.   I played it on a Buffalo slot machine and lost.  And kept going and lost some more.

I grabbed french fries and a coke from McDonalds and was in my room by midnight.  That was when I realized I did not remember to use my American Casino Guide for double points at Binions, up to 500.  I was not going back out to do that.  So sleep it was.

I ended my first night down $100.  Yes, even with the two big wins.  Because possible comps on a $30/night hotel.  Because degenerate.  I didn’t check my little cheat sheet or else I would have stopped earlier.  200 points gets you a buy one, get one offer.  500 points gets you a full comp. I did 400 points.  Great job.  Idiot.

Las Vegas Christmas Trip: Last Full Day

Waaaaaaahhhhhhh!  Don’t you hate waking up in Las Vegas knowing it is your last full day here?   I woke up at California hotel at 6:00 am and was out by 7:30.

First stop, Dunkin Donuts for iced coffee.  Second stop, the machine that dealt me Aces yesterday.  The screen is messed up and I cannot get it to change over to quarters.  Fuck it, it is my last day.  I will play $.50.

YAY.

fifty cent eights

Then I moved to nickel Ultimate X.  Got some decent hits here, including everyone’s favorite, Aces with a Kicker. Continue reading

ultimate x eights multiplieraces kicker ultimate xI am already up $181 and I haven’t even had breakfast yet.  This is my first lucky streak of this trip and it is my last full day!

I went back to California and had breakfast in their coffee shop.  My lucky streak continued when I got six pieces of toast instead of 4.  What a day!

I played some Double Double Bonus video poker at California, on the machine that likes to deal me quads.  There is a progressive Royal Flush on here that is over $1700.  If I do not hit it, I hope someone else does soon so I can stop feeding it.

I went back to Fremont.  My preferred Ultimate X machine was flashing “Call Attendant” and the fifty cent game was now stuck on Jacks or Better.  No thank you.

I played some SuperTimes Pay.   She was nice to me.  Although between you and me, she could have been nicer.

stp aces

Back to California to use my STP winnings to try for that $1700+ Royal.  Nope.

I went up to my room to take a nap. I had a dream that I won a ton of money and got it in cash.  When I got home, I found out I had all fake bills.  Can you imagine?  That was the first time I woke up from a big win dream, glad it was just a dream.

I went back out and played all over Fremont Street.  Every machine in every casino hates me.  I went to The D to use all the quarters I have collected during this trip on Sigma Derby.  I am losing, as I should be because I am in fact, a loser.  I am ready to play to what is going to be my last game.  And up comes a combo with 200-1 odds.  I have three quarters in the game.  I then take the lucky quarter out of my bra, that has lived there since the first night of my trip and add it.  If this combo hits, I win $200.

Did it hit?

NO OF COURSE IT DIDN’T HIT.  I just told you I am a loser.  Sigh.

Somehow it is 11:00 pm.  I stop for dinner at Binions and go over my choices here.

I originally booked a flight home at 7:00 am tomorrow.  I did this because it was super cheap.   Cancelling it would cost more than the flight.  So when I saw a very cheap flight leaving at midnight, I decided I would book a second flight.  So now I can either continue gambling and probably have to catch the 7:00 am flight because I am broke.  Or I could go to bed and spend the day in Vegas.

Find out which one I chose in the next installment…

Las Vegas Christmas Trip Report: Returning Downtown to Fremont Street

Despite how insanely comfortable my bed was here at Green Valley Ranch, I was wide awake at 4:00 am.  Let’s…go gamble?

I stop for coffee at The Grand Cafe.  Meaning I ordered coffee, realized I didn’t put any cash in my wallet, and had to walk away to go back to my room which is a million miles away.  Halfway there I realized hurr durr, I own both credit cards AND I have comps on my Stations card.  I get that taken care of, sit down at a machine and HURR DURR HI I HAVE NO CASH ON ME.

Back to the room, back to the casino.

I decide to play Buffalo.  I can never say enough how much I love these games.  I am playing one of the ones with the super sized screen.  I get one bonus symbol, then a second, then a guy walks by and smacks my machine yelling “GET IT!  GET IT!  GET IT!” and I do!  And I win zero!  Oh.

I keep playing and get another bonus.  This time I win $118.  WOO!

I go back up to my room, it is only 5:30.  I pack my stuff and lay down for an hour.  Then it is back out for breakfast.  I get a buffet, free from MyVegas.  My goal is to catch the 9:00 shuttle to the airport, so I can catch the WAX bus to downtown.  I am moving to my last hotel of this trip today, California.  I am very anxious to get down there because I want to be there NOW.

Let me tell you guys something.  I do not know how I got this lucky.  But my shuttle from Green Valley Ranch pulled into Zero Level at the airport, just as the WAX was pulling up.  I was in my room at California by 10:00.  That is right.  I left Green Valley Ranch on a shuttle at 9:00 am, took a bus downtown and was checked in, and inside my room, only one hour later.  It was a Christmas-Eve-Eve miracle.

California has remodeled a bunch of their rooms, but I am given an old one.  I don’t care because I love this hotel and would happily accept any room here.  Except that one where the roof leaked onto my bed and soaked it.

On my way out, I stop to rub Buddha’s belly. I tell him all about how I was in his birth country earlier this year.  He just laughed at me.

california hotel vegas buddha

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I got coffee at Dunkin Donuts and then went nutso in Fremont.  I am going to play EVERY MACHINE IN THIS CASINO.

Dealt Aces:

dealt aces

I came back to California and played quarter Double Double Bonus video poker.  I hit nines.

california ninesThen I try the new version of Lobstermania.  This was my mother’s favorite slot machine and I feel obligated to play it.  This machine is pissing me off.  How can you have three full rows of the same symbol and it is not a win?  I am becoming one of those psychopaths you see on slot machines that yell at them.  I keep giving it the finger. I am wondering if security is going to come and escort me out.  NEENER NEENER JOKE’S ON YOU. I LIVE HERE.

Finally I break away from the machine.  I feel my sanity coming back.  I turn around and give the machine the finger one last time and start playing a Buffalo slot machine.  I turn a $20 into $40 and set off to eat lunch at the California’s Courtyard Cafe.

I get an omelette and some more coffee because I clearly need the caffeine.  I take some notes, and pull out my phone to write the time.  It is only 12:43.   I am not sure why time is moving to unbelievably slow today.  But this is not a complaint.

I went upstairs to take a nap.  Then I woke up and decided to take the bus to Cosmopolitan to get that $15 free play they emailed me about.  When I got there, the free play would not work.  I went to the player’s club and was told that I was using a room key and not a slot card.  Which was really, REALLY weird since it was the same card I used the other day to generate the free play.  So my information is still on there from a year (two years?) ago.

I lost the $15 free play and another $60.  Hint: This is why casinos offer you free play. They know you will lose more cash.

On the way back to my hotel, I noticed that Fremont Santa is now charging for photos. What a fucking rip off.

fremont santa

I headed back to California and played a bit before bed.  I got dealt Jacks, which is the second time today I got a dealt quad.

california dealt jacks

Time for bed, this was my room view at night:

california hotel room view
Gambling Day: + $200
Gambling Trip: + $170
Miscellaneous: (water, bus pass, Dunkin Donuts, tips) $22.36
Comps used: California room (not sure how much this would have cost, $40-40-ish?), $10 California dining credit that came with my offer, $15 free play Cosmopolitan
Coupons: Nope.
Freebies: Green Valley Ranch buffet from MyVegas = $7.99 + tax

Today’s itinerary:

Friday, December 23, 2016
Breakfast:  Green Valley Ranch 8-11 MyVegas
Check into California
El Cortez ATM promo 5% back in free play
Lunch:
Dinner:
 
 California dining credit with offer
Downtown Grand 5x / 500 points = pull tab
Fitzgeralds $5 free play for every 50 points ACG/LVA

Las Vegas: Hopping Around Between MyVegas Rewards

The beds at Red Rock are so comfortable.  I had my longest night’s sleep here.  I could have slept many more hours, but I need to eat and skedaddle as I have plans today.

First stop, Player’s Club to get my free MyVegas buffet loaded.  The line for the buffet was so long.  It is every time I come here.  It honestly is no wonder they discontinued their relationship with MyVegas.  Quite frankly, they don’t need it.

I play around a bit but I am short on time as I need to be on the 11:00 shuttle.  When I originally planned this trip, I was going to take the airport shuttle to the airport, and switch over to the Green Valley Ranch airport shuttle, as I am staying there tonight. However this changed slightly when I decided to get my hair done.  I am overdue for a Keratin treatment and my roots are insanely imitating what they looked like back in the 80’s.

Since I have been traveling so much, I didn’t have time to get this done before I left home.  I don’t really have time to get it done when I get back home.  So why not get it done in Vegas?  I will either be curbing a gambling loss, or preserving a win by being out of a casino for a few hours.  Right?

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I had booked a Groupon for a place that was super conveniently located at the transfer point between the 201 bus and the 111, which is the bus that goes directly to Green Valley Ranch.

I step outside to get the shuttle and it is pouring rain.  This is normally lucky for me, but not today.  Not when I am getting a Keratin treatment.  You cannot get your hair wet for 72 hours after.

I make it to my hair appointment, completely soaked.  I get Keratin treatments every three months or so, to have perfectly straight hair. I am a Groupon superfan and am always going to different places to take advantage of the discount.   It needs to be said that this is the best place I have ever gotten it done.  I have never gotten a bad treatment, I have never had results come out different.  But what made this the best place ever was that instead of just sitting in a chair for two hours, Annette put on a movie for me to watch.  The most simplistic touch made the time fly by.  I cannot recommend this place enough.  She did a great job, she was the nicest woman and the time flew by.  If you are ever going to get a Keratin treatment in Vegas, I cannot recommend Annette enough.  You can contact her at: 1.702.542.3949.

When I was done, it was still pouring rain outside.  Annette suggested I take an Uber, I suggested no.  She helped me get my hair into a plastic shower cap to prevent it from getting wet.

I venture outside with a plastic shower cap on, and my hoodie over it.  You can still see the shower cap on my forehead but honestly, I don’t give a shit.  What is going to happen when complete strangers see me in a shower cap in public?  If anything, it will discourage strangers from talking to me, right?

WRONG.

I make my way to the 111 bus stop.  There is a guy there, looks to be in his mid-late 20’s.   He is doing something on his phone.  Then he turns to me and starts telling me he doesn’t know what to do about his girlfriend.  She doesn’t trust him, always wants to know where he is.  I give some sort of response like “sucks dude”, thinking he would spot my magical “DON’T TALK TO ME” shower cap.  But maybe because it was clear, he didn’t spot it and kept talking.

The bus is never coming, this I know.  It is just not possible that a bus is ever going to show up on a day where it is pouring rain in the desert, on a day when I cannot get my head wet, on a day when any stranger is talking to me, on a day when a stranger is talking to me when I have a shower cap on in public.

Since we are going to be there awhile, I start to give him real advice.  You know, if she is acting like this, it is because she has no self esteem. She is going to keep accusing you of cheating and she is going to keep on telling you that you are going to leave her.  And when you decide you have had enough of the accusations, you ARE going to leave.  Then she is going to yell “I TOLD YOU SO” behind you.  Without ever realizing people don’t leave because she isn’t good enough, people leave because she keeps accusing them of wanting to leave.

She needs to work on her own issues, because those are what is causing this rift.  It is up to you how deep into that  you want to go.  She is going to take any suggesting that she needs to work on herself, as proof that you don’t care about her.  She will feel like you are saying she isn’t good enough and needs to change.  Those are HER issues, not yours.

How can you have a relationship with a person when all they do is push and push?  She is going to continue this self destructive behavior.  It is going to grow and grow and every person who dates her after you, is going to have escalated the pattern.  Do you really want to live your life like this?  Do I really want to be sitting at a bus stop in the rain, wearing a shower cap on my head, giving you this advice?

Then comes more life’s problems.  This guy’s family is constantly criticizing him for how he spends his money, how he smokes weed, etc.  But he has a job and supports himself so why do they care?  Well Guy, consider maybe not having such a close relationship with these people.  They can only know about you, what you let them know about you.  You do not need to share every detail of your life with your family.  For your own sake, cut them back a little bit.  If they are criticizing you for stuff, don’t let them know about that stuff.

Is that a bus?  No?  FUCK.

He listens to me and then starts having some sort of fit.  Physical fit.  He walks away as his body begins jerking around seemingly uncontrollably. NOW the bus is coming.  I almost want to yell “The bus is coming!” so he doesn’t miss it, as he is pretty far away now.  I really don’t because come on now.

I get on the bus. close my eyes, and “wake up” at Green Valley Ranch.

It is still raining, I am still wearing my shower cap.

I have visited this property a few times, but this is my first time staying here.  The layout is kind of odd.  Most casino hotels have the hotel built on top of the casino.  Green Valley Ranch has the hotel built on the same level as the casino, but separated from the casino. What this basically means is TOO LONG TO WALK.

It took me awhile to figure out where the hell the hotel check in is.  As I am finally approaching it, I reach under my hood and pull off my shower cap and discard it in a trash can.

green valley ranch hotel reception

At check in, the guy confirms bed type and smoking preference. I tell him I absolutely do not care about bed type, but I would like a smoking room.  He intently stares down, typing on his keyboard, looks a bit flustered and excuses himself.  I am left standing there thinking I will now have to beg for a smoking room. Third hotel in a row!  Can Degenerate Gambler be declared as some sort of mental handicap that requires me to have a smoking room so that I do not lose all my money smoking a cigarette?

The guy comes back and tells me that all their smoking rooms are “out of service” but he got the okay to upgrade me to a balcony suite, so I can smoke outside.  Sweet!  But it is raining and I cannot get my hair wet and I threw out my shower cap.

I am in room 2021.  I step off the elevator and see this helpful sign.  Oh my room should be….um?   I look at the room number again.  Look at the sign again.  Why does this sign not have 2021?

room sign

I take a gamble and walk towards the left and find my room.  This is a really nice room.  If it were not raining, I would love to sit out on my balcony.

green valley ranch balcony green valley ranch pool view rain green valley ranch las vegas henderson green valley ranch balcony view rain

I drop my stuff off and head out.   I am on the second floor, and so is the casino.  I just have to walk to the end of the hallway and enter another hallway through this door.  At the end of THAT hallway is the casino.

green valley ranch casino entrancegreen valley ranch henderson las vegas

My first stop is Starbucks.  It is literally located in the absolute furthest place it could be from my room.  I get a Venti Peppermint Mocha and start to gamble. It has been several hours and I am fiending to go.

I start at Ultimate X video poker and get this baby:

ultimate x fours

 

Followed up by every degenerate video pokers player’s dream.  It’s legal name is “Multi Strike Super Times Pay” but we all know it by it’s street name, which is Crack.  This game is so hard to find.  As a matter of fact, I have only seen it one other time in my life, at the El Cortez.  I am stoked as all hell to be playing it again.

multi strike super times pay

If you are not a video poker player, you are probably skipping this paragraph but I am going to keep typing anyway.  The idea of this game is that there are four hands.  If you win, you move up a line.   Each line has a multiplier.  So you want to (a) get to the top line and (b) have a big win up there.

I get this son of a bitch on the top line. Four to the Royal.  With an 8x multiplier. If that Queen had been a Jack of Diamonds, I would have won $1600. HATE.

super times pay multi strike four to royal

I cash out and move on.

I was all over this casino looking for the Cleopatra Keno I had played on my last trip here.  I could not find it.  I then decide to find the entrance I took last time, thinking maybe that would help me getting a better grasp of where to look.  Still nothing.   I got distracted by a Buffalo slot machine and played that for awhile. I love this game and all the versions.

Then some video poker where I had a win:
green valley ranch quarter foursSoon I am out of cash and starving.  I went to The Grand Cafe for dinner.  It came to $12.98 and I comped it.  Then back to my room.  It has finally stopped raining but since my balcony does not have anything over it, the furniture was completely soaked through.  Oh well…

Gambling Day: + $80
Gambling Trip: – $30
Miscellaneous: (water, Starbucks, tips, including tips for my hair): $96
Comps used: $12.98 dinner at Green Valley Ranch
Coupons: Groupon for my hair – does this count?
Freebies: Free night at Green Valley Ranch, calculated on the rate showing the day I booked it = $175.87 via MyVegas (this includes room cost, tax and resort fee, I paid zero), free buffet at Red Rock via MyVegas = $6.99 (x two since it was for two, + tax), $10 meal at Binions from the Motherlode promotion.

Today’s itinerary:

Thursday, December 22, 2016
Breakfast: Red Rock 8-11 MyVegas
Check into Green Valley Ranch
Hair: 1:00
Lunch:
Dinner: Green Valley Ranch 4-9 $14.99 comps/ $18.99 half off LVA