So I consider myself to be a bit more street wise than the average human being.  So when planning a trip to Paris, I had the whole security thing to consider.  Yes, the internet is full of people who have been pick pocketed in Paris.  But surely that would never happen to me.  But then I keep thinking about my sister.  She was obsessed with the Eiffel Tower.  I mean OBSESSED.  It is all she ever talked about.  Every trip I took to Las Vegas would have her begging me to bring back something Eiffel Tower related.   She talked about this stupid tower ALL THE TIME.

Finally, she is going to Paris.  She is going to the Eiffel Tower.  She is so excited.  Flash forward about an hour after she gets to Paris, and I get a voicemail I can barely understand because she is crying and choking.  She tells me to call her back, does not leave a number or a hotel name.  I had to break into her email to find the confirmation.   Turns out, she did get to the Eiffel Tower.   As soon as she got off the plane.  And she got pick pocketed and was now broke in Paris.

I know my sister pretty well.  She doesn’t like to pay attention to anything.  She carries ginormous purses that are never closed.  I don’t necessarily want to blame the victim here, but these things did cross my mind.  She swears that she was super careful.

So now my turn to go to Paris comes.  I don’t want to do things like carry a money belt or whatever.  I want to just go.  I am street savvy, I can do this.  But in the back of my mind, I can’t stop thinking about how stupid I will feel if I am robbed.  I picture the conversations.   My sister saying “I told you so”.  So I buy a money belt.  But I still don’t want to use it.  So I compromise.  I head for the Eiffel Tower with only 5 euro on me, in a change purse.  I leave my wallet back at my hotel.

It was pouring so hard in Paris.  Absolutely insane.   I took the Metro to Invalides to take pictures of the Pont Alexandre Bridge.  This was not the best idea.  I had a huge yellow plastic poncho over me.   I don’t mind the rain, I hate when everything in my bag gets ruined.

I walk from Invalides to the tower.  Sort of nearby the tower, there is a covered bench area.  I sit there for a while.  I am really early as I had planned to take pictures and sight see, but that was now not happening because of the rain.  After about half an hour, it starts to die down.  Of course it does NOW, it is too late for me to go back and retrace my steps going nutso with my camera.

I walk the rest of the way to the tower.  I still have half an hour.  I walk around, I kill time.  I stop in a souvenir shop I have no intention of spending a cent in.  Still early.  Okay I will sit on this bench here.  It has stopped raining but the bench is soaked.  That’s okay, I have a poncho. I take it off, turn it inside out and sit down.  Then I look down and my bag is open.  What the FUCK.  How is my bag open?  It was UNDER the poncho.  Not only that, hello, I am street smart.  How the fuck did someone get my bag open?

Now I start freaking out.  I start second guessing if I did in fact leave my wallet behind or if I just think I did because it’s most certainly not in my bag, in the pocket I keep it in, that is now OPEN.  Maybe I left it open?  That doesn’t sound like me.  I’m freaking out.

I go up in the tower just because I am already here and I have already paid for my ticket.  I was miserable, rushed through it.  I just wanted to get back to my hotel and make sure my wallet is there.

I had made a 7:30 reservation thinking I could go up in the tower before the sun set, then stick around until after dark and get cool pictures of it lit up.  I no longer care about seeing it lit up. I just want to see my wallet.

Partially because I am freaked out, mostly because I cannot read a map, I get lost looking for the Metro.  I did not take the Metro directly here so I have no clue where it is. Now mind you, if you look at the amount of times I have been lost in places because I cannot read a map, you might want to question my self assessment of being street smart.   I will allow it.

An HOUR later, full hour later, I am still in the vicinity of this stupid freaking tower.  I ask a cop where the Metro is.  I had walked a mile in every direction except for the one direction I needed to.  Great.  Mind you, I am still freaking out about my wallet.

As I am now finally walking the right way to the Metro, the Eiffel Tower starts to light up.  I stop and take some pictures.  So not everything was lost.

I finally get back to my hotel.  Open my door.  Run to my wallet.  MY WALLET.  I RAN TO MY WALLET BECAUSE OF COURSE MY WALLET IS IN MY ROOM IT IS RIGHT THERE SEE???

Whew.

As an added bonus to my departure from Paris, I also fell in my bathtub and got locked INSIDE my hotel when trying to leave this morning.  But more on that later.