Tag Archives: Cosmopolitan Las Vegas

Christmas Trip to Las Vegas: The Case of the Mysterious Package Is Solved!

Monday, December 22, 2014: Day Seven of Thirteen

Today I wake up insanely early.  I am at Cosmopolitan and I want to go next door to Bellagio to get some pictures of their conservatory done up for Christmas while the masses are still sleeping.  Bonus: I got to watch the sunrise from my terrace:

cosmopolitan terrace sunrise

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I guess 7:00 am is not early enough to visit the Bellagio conservatory because there were people there.  Sigh.

Bellagio Christmas conservatory ceiling snowflakes Bellagio conservatory Christmas penguins Bellagio conservatory Christmas snow globes Bellagio conservatory Christmas trees with actual snow on them Bellagio Las Vegas Christmas conservatory archway Bellagio Las Vegas Christmas conservatory penguins Bellagio Las Vegas conservatory Christmas polar bear on a block of ice Bellagio Las Vegas snow globe They had snow blowing in the archway:
Bellagio Las Vegas Christmas conservatory snow blowingReception:
bellagio las vegas reception desk christmasChihuly ceiling:
bellagio chihuly ceilingI also thought I would get some amazing pictures of Bellagio from outside but the light it just terrible at this time of day. It leaves too many shadows. Who knew?
Caesars Las Vegas Bellagio Las VegasAfter giving up, I went back to my room to drop off my camera and then across the street to Planet Hollywood for breakfast.  I have the Las Vegas Advisor coupon for $10 off a buffet so it was a bargain.   My favorite thing about this buffet is that they have smoothies!

After eating, I got Starbucks and played at Cosmopolitan.  Guess what I did not do?  That’s right, win!

I went back to my room and checked the internet.   Remember last night when I said I saw someone I recognized?   Well ladies and gentlemen, it turns out he left me a package!   So there really is a package for me somewhere!  I try and call the message center, since that is where this all started.  But since I no longer have a written message, I cannot get a human on the phone.  I call the Front Desk, who send me to the Business Center who sends me to the Bell Desk who sends me back to the Front Desk who tries to send me to the Business Center.  This is where I just lost it.  Someone in YOUR hotel called me to tell me I have a package.  Can you please call the message center and find out where the hell that message came from, so that I can maybe talk to the person who left it.  I am on hold forever.

Finally the woman comes back.  “It was at Concierge, it is a Mickey Mouse looking thing?”  Well I don’t know what it is, it was supposed to be a surprise and I obviously haven’t seen it since it has been lost.

FINALLY.  I get my package.  It is a lucky hat!  Here is my cute little stuffed dog modeling it.  He looks unhappy because who wouldn’t be unhappy if they had to travel to Las Vegas in a suitcase and then never even got to gamble?
lucky hatWOO!

After this big whirlwind insanity of “WHERE IS MY PACKAGE” I am ready to wind down and nap.

When I wake up later, I am honestly ready to go right back to bed.  I have been running around for days now and I am in a ridiculously comfortable bed.   I decide to go downstairs and walk next door to Aria (which is like literally next door, but at the same time, is probably not even in the same square mile) to cash in a TITO ticket for $.70 that I have been carrying around for days now.  Damned if I am going to let them keep my $.70!  They already have like a thousand times that of my money.  Oh how I wish I were exaggerating.

I go outside and stop at the Lucky Cat exhibit in the front of Cosmopolitan.  A friend of mine had gotten free slot play here.  I tried and got a horoscope.  Bah.

I continued to Aria, walking along the construction that is the Harmon building being torn down.  I can also see this from my terrace:
cosmopolitan las vegas terrace view of harmonIf you are unfamiliar, this building had construction defects and never opened and needs to be taken down.  This is what it looked like before:

harmon las vegas

As an extra bonus, while searching my computer for that, I also found a picture of it being built:

city center constructionAnd a picture of Cosmopolitan being built!

cosmopolitan las vegas being builtAs I am walking, I notice a whole lot of puke on the pedestrian bridge.  On my way back, I saw someone step in it and then slide in it.   Gross.

I stopped for Starbucks in Crystals mall.  I absofreakinglutely HATE this place.  I hate all malls in general but this one just seems horribly thought out.  There is too much space, which means too much irrelevant walking.   It isn’t enough that it takes twenty minutes to get “next door”, they have to make you walk past wasted space.  Here is a reindeer from the mall:
Crystals reindeer CrystalsI went inside Aria, and thought that maybe instead of cashing in my $.70 TITO, I should gamble it.  So I did one spin on a Buffalo slot and lost it.  I did cash out the remaining $.20.

I walked back to Cosmopolitan and lost some more money there, but that’s okay because I actually love Cosmopolitan and I wish I had been able to give them my Aria money.  But that Aria money is long gone because I am a degenerate.

I went back to my room and decided to stay there on my terrace.  I got to watch the sunset, which was absolutely beautiful.
cosmopolitan las vegas pink sunset over aria

Christmas Trip to Las Vegas: Again with the Bus Stop Weirdos, My Fancy Cosmopolitan Terrace and the Case of the Mysterious Package

Sunday, December 21, 2014: Day Six of Thirteen

I am growing more and more tired every day but still cannot sleep. Today’s excuse for getting up is that my room at Main Street Station came with a buffet offer that needs to be used before I check out.  It actually came with two buffets, which worked out great because the credit was actually only good for two regularly priced breakfast buffets.  Since I am here on a Sunday when there is no regular breakfast, only brunch, I would have had to pay the difference.  But while brunch is more than a regular breakfast buffet, it is not more than two breakfast buffets, which is what my credit is for.

I am tempted to play after I eat.  But again, since I paid for this room, I do not have to earn my keep.  Any play I put through a machine is wasted since it will not be covering my room on this trip and I swear I am never coming back so I do not need to play for a future trip. This is the train of thought I need to keep me away from playing and I am happy to have it.

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I go back to my room and pack as I am moving again today, this time to Cosmopolitan. I do not feel like dealing with trying to check in early (Cosmopolitan has a fee for that) so I leave my bags with the Bell Desk and hop on the free shuttle to Sam’s Town to use my $10 free play coupon from Las Vegas Advisor. The shuttle takes fifteen minutes.

sams town las vegas sign

Sam’s Town has an atrium that I just absolutely love. It looks like a beautiful European city and the animatronic animals are so cheesy that you just have to love them. Santa was there taking pictures with kids so I skedaddled out of there to get away.

las vegas sams town atrium sams town atrium las vegas animatronic beaver sams town atrium las vegas full sams town las vegas atrium animatronic bear sams town las vegas atrium sams town las vegas christmas polar bear sams town las vegas christmas tree
I excitedly found four card Cleopatra Keno and turned my $10 freeplay into $35, minus the $10 I spent to activate it as it was a play ten/get ten coupon.

I get some Dunkin Donuts iced coffee, walk next door to the gas station to buy cigarettes and water at off Strip prices and catch the shuttle back downtown. It stops at both Fremont and California. Fremont is first, California is second. I am going to California because it is attached to Main Street Station, where my luggage is. There is a fifteen minute wait before we leave Fremont. I could walk there in five minutes but I am so EXHAUSTED that I am fine with being a lazy slob and waiting out the fifteen minutes for a thirty second drive.

Get my bags, head for the bus to Cosmopolitan. I have a residental route pass, which is not good on the Deuce or SDX bus. I am taking the SDX bus anyway because you do not have to swipe your pass on the bus so no one knows you are an immoral piece of shit who is screwing the system. I was asked to show my pass while boarding and I showed the back of it, which looks like a Strip pass.

The SDX bus stops right outside Cosmopolitan, but the check in is about fifty miles away from the Strip entrance.  I wish you could take a cab through the casino.

I am here on a comp for two nights. I do not deserve this comp. Cosmopolitan is known for sending out feeler offers to people who stopped by for an hour and drop some money. I am one of those people. I have a city room, which is a normal room, no terrace that Cosmopolitan is well known for. After I am handed my keys, I think to double check “It is a smoking room right?” and she says “Yes, you can smoke on your terrace.” I HAVE A TERRACE WHAT?!?

It took me forever to get to my room. So far from the check in, so many people to dodge through. I felt like I was in such a rush, DYING to see my terrace. I open the door and am floored. This room is enormous.
cosmopolitan las vegas bedroom cosmopolitan las vegas kitchenette cosmopolitan las vegas living room cosmopolitan las vegas room closet room AND I HAVE A TERRACE!

cosmopolitan las vegas terracecosmopolitan las vegas terrace viewview night terracecosmopolitan las vegas terrace view of aria

How freaking exciting!

I dropped my stuff off and went downstairs to play.   The casino was PACKED.  I hate packed casinos.  I played some quarter Double Double Bonus video poker and some Cleopatra Keno.  Neither were kind to me.

I went back up to my room and considered spending the night in it, since really, why not?  But I decided I would go back out and do the free play day that I was supposed to do about a week ago and never did.

I walked past the Bellagio to get to Flamingo to catch the bus to Gold Coast.  Again, isn’t Vegas supposed to be dead the week before Christmas?  That walk was so painful with so many people doing that thing where they walk five people wide, holding hands as an entire family so no one can pass.

I got to the Gold Coast and used my play $10 and get $10 play on Keno.  I got up to $20, which is a win.  But I played down to zero, which is a loss.

I walked across the street to take the bus to Tuscany.   Some man started talking to me, he was clearly not right in the head.  He kept going on about “stupid cock sucking piece of shit, fuck this, fuck that, fucking idiot, fucking moron, fucking stupid” over and over and over.  It was kind of like talking to myself.  The only difference being if I were to have eaten half a pound of garlic before talking to me, I could do something to remedy that problem.  With him though, I had no choice but to sit there smelling it.  So gross.

The bus came and I silently begged him to not sit with me and continue our conversation.   I scored big on this one because he did not follow me.

I got off at Tuscany and went inside to use my free play.   The casino is under renovation and most of it was blocked off.  This made it hard to find anything to play.  Finally I settled on a nickel Triple Double Bonus video poker game and lost.  I put in another $20 and lost that too.

Next stop is Ellis Island, with a stop at 7-11 for a coffee.   7-11 has a special where if you buy a coffee, you get a free muffin.   I had to then carry around that muffin because I did not have my messenger bag with me so I had nowhere to stash it.  Damned if I am going to leave behind a free muffin.

Ellis Island has new slot cards so you need to get one before playing.  She could not find me for the longest time so I thought I was going to get a new sign up bonus but she finally did find me.  I then had to go and play $20 to use both the American Casino Guide and Las Vegas Advisor coupons.  I lost it on penny Ultimate X because I could not find any Cleopatra Keno games available.

I go and get my $20 free play and decide to do quarter Double Double Bonus.  I hit sixes and cashed out at $70.  This is the biggest win I have had in so many days.  Pretty sad.

I walked back to Cosmopolitan from Ellis Island.  I thought since I hit the elevators for my room before I near the danger zone, which is where the nickel Ultimate X, nickel SuperTimes Pay, Double Double Bonus quarters with a high progressive and Cleopatra Keno are, that I would be safe.  I thought wrong.  I somehow managed to only lose $20 though.

I do some laundry in the sink before going to bed.  Then I lay down and turn the light off and this is when I notice that the room phone is blinking with a message.  I push the “message” button and a computer tells me I have a written message.  I get transferred to a human being who tells me I have a package at the front desk.   Um, no I cannot possibly?  She insists I do.  I insist I do not.  She tells me the message came at 7-ish AM, I tell her I was not even checked in yet.  She tells me that they assigned my room once I got the package, so that they had a room number to assign it to.

Even though I am in bed and know for damn sure, there is no way I have a package, I decide to go down to the front desk, in my pajamas of course.

I go back and forth between the front desk and the bell desk and neither have a package for me, both keep sending me back to the other one.

While making my way back to my room, I actually spot someone I recognize but have never met.  I do not stop because I am in my pajamas.   When I get back to my room, I send him a message verifying it was him that I snubbed.   The answer will come tomorrow.

Here is my itinerary.  I did all of it except Gold Coast for dinner.  My dinner ended up being my 7-11 muffin.

Sunday, December 21, 2014
Breakfast: Main Street Station free with offer 7-3
Check into Cosmopolitan
Lunch: Gold Coast ACG 200 points = free 8-3

Las Vegas Trip Report: First Time Visiting Cosmopolitan and a Fun Game of “Is It Heroin or Is It Spam?”

Thursday, December 16, 2010 

[This is day three of a nineteen part trip report.   To start at the beginning, go here.]

Up at 7:30 at the Gold Coast.  I slept well because of Benadryl.  Out at 8:15.

Monopoly Bigger Event slot machine: I hit a $167 bonus, then got a 13X multiplier for $97.50

I try to cash out but I have time left on my bonus meter and as I am waiting for that to run out, the bonus hits again!  This time I only got $8.30

Cash out with $150.

Gold Coast buffet for breakfast, I had the best server ever.  She never once let my coffee cup go empty.  LOVE her.

After eating, it is back up to the room to get dressed and sort out my money.  Then it is back down to play!

Wizard of Oz: Ruby Slippers slot machine, huge bust.

Press Your Luck slot machine: $20-$0

Keno: $60-$0

Quarter Double Double Bonus video poker: $40-0, followed by $20-$0

It is time to check out of the Gold Coast.  My hotel bill is $2.96.

I leave my bags with the bellman and head to the strip for coffee and cigarettes.  I am also going to visit  the Cosmopolitan casino, which opened last night.

My first stop is  Ellis Island.

$20-$0 in triple line nickel Double Double Bonus video poker.

$10-$0 in a nickel progressive Double Double Bonus video poker game.

$20-$50 on an Ultimate X Double Bonus video poker in pennies, so so so so so so much fun.  I could show you lots of blurry cell phone pictures, but I would hate to force your eyes into a permanent cross.  Then you would never be able to read my trip reports again and that would just be terrible!

Lunch is at Ellis Island’s coffee shop with a 50% off coupon from the Las Vegas Advisor.  Bacon mushroom cheeseburger.  My waitress is an idiot.

It’s 12:35.

I walk back to the Strip and head for the Bellagio.

Bellagio Las Vegas

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In the casino, I play an All That Glitters 2 slot machine.  I Love this game!  $60-$90.

All That Glitters 2 slot machine

I rode the Bellagio people mover and of course, had to take the same pictures I take on every trip to Las Vegas because LAS VEGAS.
View of Paris Las Vegas from BellagioLas Vegas Strip view from Bellagio moving walkwayview of Caesars Las Vegas from Lake Bellagio

Once I got to the end, it was time for my first visit to Las Vegas’s newest casino, Cosmopolitan. It just opened last night.

Cosmopolitan Hotel and Casino Las Vegas NevadaCosmopolitan Hotel and Casino Las Vegas NevadaCosmopolitan Hotel and Casino Las Vegas NevadaCosmopolitan hotel Las Vegas

This place is gorgeous.  It had a ginormous chandelier that is the main visual attraction.

Cosmopolitan Casino Chandelier Las Vegas NevadaCosmopolitan Casino Chandelier Las Vegas NevadaCosmopolitan Casino Chandelier Las Vegas NevadaCosmopolitan Casino Chandelier Las Vegas NevadaCosmopolitan Hotel and Casino Las Vegas Nevada

I want to play quarter Supertimes Pay video poker.  The machine is stuck on Double Bonus video poker, cannot get it to change to Double Double Bonus video poker.  I hit four of a kind fours and turn my $40-$100.

Cosmopolitan Bonus Pokers 4s

Played an I love Lucy slot machine, $40-0.  I never got the bonus.  HATE.

Greenback Attack slot machine: $20-$60.

Quarter Double Double Bonus video poker 8/5 pay table with a progressive: $20-$70 by hitting four of a kind sixes and then $20-$0

Cosmopolitan quarter 6s

Went to the Barbary Coast (I will not call it “Bill’s” because that name is stupid) and lost $40.

Bills Gambling Hall and Saloon Las Vegas Nevada

I took the free shuttle back to the Gold Coast to grab my bags.  I almost murdered some man trying to push past me on the shuttle. I took a cab to my second hotel of the trip, the El Cortez.   Its 4:30.

I hate my cab driver.  He keeps asking me the same questions over and over, convinced that he will eventually find the magic combination of words to make me feel horrible that I am staying at a hotel that I love, that he does not think I should love.  I’m trying to look busy playing on my phone and it won’t work.

I hate looking out the window and seeing the completely barren wasteland between Encore and Circus Circus.

We arrive at the El Cortez.  I am going to be staying here for six nights, which is really unlike me.  The first three nights are on a comp, the last three are via an offer where for $99, I get three nights + a combination of free dining and free play that total the $99.

I am given room 5522 in the Pavilion Tower, where I choose to stay since it is the only option that has smoking rooms.  These rooms are furthest from check in.  You have to go all the way through the casino to the front.  Then you get in an elevator and go around the corner to your room.  You get kind of a balcony view as you walk to your room, since you are walking outside.

El Cortez Pavilion balcony

I get to my room and my key doesn’t work.

I have to then go all the way back to the front desk.  Of course I have to pee.  I stumble across a woman who is passed out on the floor, with a huge crowd around her.  OUT OF MY WAY PEOPLE I HAVE TO PEE.  I get my new key.  I go all the way back.

The soap in my bathroom is used and there is some weird item on the dresser.  At the time, I was convinced it was heroin and I threw it out in a garbage can outside my room.   Since then, it has been suggested that maybe this was rotten Spam Musubi, left behind by a guest before me.  I am honestly not sure which option is more gross.

mystery meat

I have $85 (and $100) left for tonight.

Tonight I am using a 2x points multiplier coupon at the El Cortez that came with my room offer.

I try my quarter Double Double Bonus video poker progressives that I love so much.  $20-dealt tens = $70

El Cortez quarter dealt tens
$15 free play = $0
Quarter keno, $40-$0
Nickel keno, $5-$0

Invaders From the Planet Moolah slot machine:


Sabertooth Last Emperor slot machine:

$5-$10 first spin

Quick Hit slot machine: zero (I didn’t note how much I put in)

Rawhide slot machine: $10-$40

All That Glitters 2 slot machine: $20-$0.

I Love Lucy slot machine:  $40-$0 played foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  No bonus.

I stop for dinner at Café Cortez and get the Prime Rib.   I charge it to my room as it will be covered by the dining credit that is part of my comp. Its 7:30, I am exhausted. My plan is to go to bed right after dinner.

I hate when I’m at the El Cortez and I forget why i ever wanted to be here.  Sometimes I love being here.  Sometimes I feel like all I ever do here is just play the same machines that I have been playing for years and I get bored.  That’s happening now and I’m here for six nights.  Ugh.  At least I am paying for three so I am not obligated to play on those days.

Dinner was excellent but the server was horrible. When I FINALLY got my order taken, some guy who was frustrated with his wait time to have his order taken, yelled to me “Hey kid, you must be a VIP!”

After eating, I did not play and instead went to my room.  Score!  I am already bored of the El Cortez.  This happens sometimes. I now have what is left for today’s budget ($200 still) to hold for the future.  This may be the first time ever.

Sleep by 10:00