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Las Vegas Strip Report Continues!

I wish I would have thought of that snappy post title a bit earlier!

Happy good morning Las Vegas!  Today will be my last full day here.  I need to finish visiting every casino on the Strip.  I need to gamble.  I need to get some photos of the Mirage atrium without a million people in the way.

mirage las vegas atirum lovemirage las vegas atirummirage las vegas waterfall in atrium

And the casino.

mirage las vegas casino

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I lost $100 on slots and stopped for breakfast.  I had a MyVegas reward for the Mirage buffet.  This buffet is not good, but it is convenient.  The hostess asked me if I wanted to be seated with someone.  What?!  NO?  “Oh I thought maybe you were here with someone.”  Yeah, my cute little stuffed dog who is probably still asleep upstairs.

After breakfast, I went upstairs and napped for an hour.  I wanted to sleep for so much longer.  But time’s a wasting.

I decided I would cross the street to Harrahs and play my $20 there before taking the monorail to MGM Grand.  At MGM Grand, I would use up all my quarters on Sigma Derby.   I was very excited when I walked outside and it was raining.   I get lucky when it is raining.

My favorite statue in all of Las Vegas.  Buck, Winnie and their dog, Chip.

buck and winnie status harrahs las vegas

Harrahs had some weirdo Buffalo machines.  You could choose the variance you wanted.  I tried the middle option.

buffalo slot machine selections harrahs las vegas

I turned a $20 to $40 and cashed out, mostly because I wanted to get to MGM Grand to get rid of these fucking quarters.

What up MyVegas mural!

mitzy myvegas

MGM Grand moved the Sigma Derby machine and it was really no longer inside the casino.  It was in a bar area near the entrance/exit to the pedestrian bridge to New York New York.  Where Rainforest Cafe used to be.  At the time of writing this though, I read that it is moved back into the casino.

I tried putting all my quarters in at once but I had too many and it began spitting  them back out.  I played and played and played.  I lost and lost and lost.  Then I had no quarters left and I was freeeeeeeeee!

new york new york las vegas

I walked across to New York New York.  I haven’t played here in many years.   When you first enter, there is a chair massage place.  I decided that after I played my $20, I was going to get a massage.

I went down into the casino and had my heart set on playing Buffalo.   I found one open machine.  It was on a corner and right next to it was a group of about seven people playing one machine.  All smoking.  All sharing the ashtray between their machine and mine.  I hate being crowded in but BUFFALO DAMMIT.

I play.

I get a bonus.

It keeps going.

And going.

And going.

Before I knew it, I had $600.

Buffalo slot machine win

AMAZING.

I played down to $600, cashed out and got my massage.   Seriously, my favorite stop on my Strip crawl, which was then followed by my least favorite stop.  Luxor.  I really should have went here when I was right here a couple of days ago.  But I didn’t.  So I went here now.

luxor las vegas sphinx half rain half sunluxor obelisk las vegas

I lost $200 here so fast.  SO FAST.  I still hadn’t gotten settled and comfortable when that much money was gone.  Holy shit.   Then cashing out my TITO took eleven years.  I could only find one working one.  The guy in front of me was so drunk and kept putting the wrong pin in for his debit card.  The machine kept rejecting the card.  He would try again…I am growing more and more impatient.  Then some woman asks me if she can go ahead of me.  I ask her what is it about her that makes her time more valuable than my time.  She called me a bitch and I told her to go fuck herself and stormed out without cashing my $.43 TITO.  Fuck you fucking Luxor.  NEVER AGAIN.

From here I thought I was going to go to Tropicana and Hooters, but simply did not.  Instead I took the bus to Orleans, stopping at Wild Wild West for cigarettes.  Wild Wild West is owned by Stations and they have incredibly cheap cigarettes.  I bought three cartons.

Orleans was a bust.  I played Cleopatra Keno for a very long time.  Every time I thought I was going to be done with my $20, I would hit a bonus and go back up around $20.  It was actually getting boring.  And I needed to leave.  I have to use a MyVegas reward for a Bellagio buffet tonight as it is my last  night here.

I ended up cashing out and taking a cab to Mirage to drop off my cigarettes.  Then I walked to Bellagio.  The line for the buffet took 50 minutes.  You can also buy a line pass for $15.  Which doesn’t mean you get to cut the line entirely.  You just get to wait on a shorter line.  Fuck that.  I would have gotten off the line and found something better to do with my last night in Vegas.  But I am a cheap fuck and free = YAY.

After eating, I played my $20 on my favorite Cleopatra Keno machine here.  I cashed out at $40.  Normally I would keep putting money in, but I am on a mission to gamble in every Strip casino.  So off I go.

I took the tram to Monte Carlo.  First order of business, Starbucks.  Second, GAMBLE.  I hit a $100 bonus on a Flinstones slot machine.  Gotta go cash that out and continue on!  I went to Aria next and lost $20 in  Buffalo slot machine.  Up next is Cosmopolitan.  Where I lost.  And lost.  And lost some more.  Then a lot more.  Than even more-more.  I want so badly to be loved by this place  that the past two times I have visited, I have gone insane.  I am sorry my wallet, I will try better to be less of a moron.  I probably lost $300 here in half an hour.  No joke.

I wanted to finish up with Planet Hollywood, Paris and Ballys.  But I was too full of hate to cross the street.   I walked back to Mirage.  On my way through the casino, I passed a new Zorro slot machine.  I played it, and got into a fight with it.  This game was awful.  Even with a $175 bonus, I hated it.  Zorro keeps saying “I fight for the people.”  I kept getting increasingly annoyed with it and before we knew it, I was a crazy lady talking to Zorro aloud.  Telling him “ALL RIGHT, WE GET IT!  SHUT UP!”

Then I went to my room.  Where this was my night time view.  Absolutely beautiful.

mirage hotel las vegas room view night

Las Vegas Trip Report: I Love “Love” And the Mirage

My alarm went off at 6:00 am this morning, on purpose.  My brilliant logic was that since I am at Cromwell, I can simply walk across the street at an insanely early hour and get pictures of the Bellagio conservatory before everyone else wakes up.  But when I woke up, I laughed at myself and went back to sleep.  Now I am kind of annoyed because I am doing that thing where I have 20 days in Las Vegas and am somehow still not doing all the things I wanted to do.  Like walk across the street and take pictures.  Sigh.

I went downstairs for some coffee.  I ended up drinking seventeen cups total during my stay here at Cromwell.  That makes the resort fee kinda sorta almost not really fair.

Every gambler knows about the $200 cup of coffee.  You go downstairs in the morning, you order a cup of coffee from the cocktail waitress.  You lose $200 before she comes back with your coffee.  Since Cromwell has free coffee, I am trading out the $200 cup of coffee for the $100 cigarette.   The hotel is non smoking, so I can only smoke down here or outside.  I am not going to go outside when there are video poker machines inside so…

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I went back upstairs and I had two text messages. One confirming my facial appointment for tomorrow, one from my landlord’s daughter, letting me know they are raising my rent.  Ah 2016 and your technology.

I packed and checked out and walked over to the Mirage, taking some photos along the way.

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I am spending one night at Mirage courtesy of a MyVegas reward.   I have only stayed here one time before, and that was when Wagerworks existed.   On that first trip, two things happened.  One, I took a bus trip to Laughlin, and two, on the bus, they showed “Vegas Vacation” which was the first time I saw that movie somehow.  I remember thinking “This is the fucking coolest thing ever!  That is MY HOTEL in the movie!!!”  The second thing was that:  I used to be completely obsessed with having room photos of every hotel room I stayed at in Las Vegas.  On this trip, I used a disposable camera (that shows how long ago this was) and none of them came out.  So bummed!   So I always wanted to stay here again and fifteen years later, here I am!

I tried to check in. The woman at the desk told me it would be $30 for early check in and I told her she could suck it.  Okay I didn’t really, but I also did not pay for early check in.  I stashed my bags with the Bell Desk and headed to Red Rock to use a MyVegas buffet reward.

I took the Deuce bus to the Sahara Express bus.  This latter was a weird bus ride.   I got on the bus on the East Side of Sahara.  This is good to note since most people think you have to cross over and catch it on the West Side, outside the Bonanza gift shop.  You don’t, it stops on both sides.  Or at least it is supposed to.  My driver didn’t stop at the stop outside the gift shop and some man went ballistic on him and cursed him out.  Lots of other people joined in, asking why the driver did not stop in very violent ways.

From here, the driver kept making stops but telling people to go through the back door and not pay.  I am really not sure what this guy’s deal was.  But he got me to Red Rock, so who cares.

The buffet line here was insanely long.  It took well over half an hour to get seated.  It was like this when I was here one day for lunch last year as well.

There was a woman with a Boston Terrier service dog.   He made my day.  So adorable.

After eating, as well as before eating, I played some Cleopatra Keno.  I could not hit for shit.  I said screw it and went for broke and soon enough, broke I was.  I saved $5 to try some live Keno later tonight.  Because it is always a good idea to keep moving to games with more of a house edge as you are losing.

I took the bus back to the Mirage.  There were two LOUD women sitting behind me.  The one who was slightly less loud than the other one, kept sucking on her teeth.  This was painful.  Then a woman gets on the bus with what appears to be two babies that she is snuggling.  But she has no stroller and…wait, those aren’t babies, they are dolls.  She is now the center of attention with people asking her a million questions about her babies.   One is hers, the other is adopted.  This is why they look different. Oh.

We passed my beloved Riviera and I got all sad.  I love this place so much and her being gone really was the final straw for me in the downfall of Las Vegas’s appeal.  I let you take the Stardust and Westward Ho, I draw the line at my beloved Riviera.  I need to go and get some photos of her before they demolish her.  Bastards.

I got room number 20102.  This room is really nice.  This is a hotel where I get it that people love it.

mirage hotel las vegas bed

mirage hotel las vegas bathroommirage hotel las vegas roomI spent some time working on my blog and then before I knew it, it was time to go see Love.

I had picked up my tickets a few days ago at the box office at Bellagio.  Then I got a voicemail telling me I was given the wrong tickets.  So I had to stop at the Love box office to exchange them.  I am now in the very last row.  This wasn’t so bad as that whole “there are no bad seats in the entire theater” thing is true.  The man next to me LOVED Love.  He knew every word to every song, and alternated between playing the air drums and air guitar.  I love this show too, despite not liking The Beatles.  It is very busy and I think you would probably have to watch it fifty times to see everything that is going on.

After the show, I tried my hardest to play live Keno but either the Mirage does not have live Keno, or else I could not find live Keno.  Do casinos really not have live Keno?  This is the second time on this trip that this happened to me.

I was happy to settle for video Keno though.  And it was happy to take my money and not give me anything in return.

Gambling Day: – $200
Gambling Trip: + $0
Miscellaneous: (tips):  $8.00
Comps used: nada
Freebies:  Two cups of fancy schmancy coffee from Cromwell, Mirage room (MyVegas), Love ticket (MyVegas) and Red Rock buffet (MyVegas)

My itinerary for today?  Well no.  I only checked into Mirage and saw Love.  Oops?

Monday, January 4, 2016
Breakfast: Jackson’s Tavern $20 free play LVA 6020 Flamingo 202 @ Duneville
Check into Mirage 
Lunch:
Gold Coast $10 free play LVA
High Roller $10 off LVA
Dinner:
Bellagio buffet 3-10 free MyVegas
Love 9:30