Tag Archives: Solo Trip to Las Vegas

Las Vegas Trip Report: I Love “Love” And the Mirage

My alarm went off at 6:00 am this morning, on purpose.  My brilliant logic was that since I am at Cromwell, I can simply walk across the street at an insanely early hour and get pictures of the Bellagio conservatory before everyone else wakes up.  But when I woke up, I laughed at myself and went back to sleep.  Now I am kind of annoyed because I am doing that thing where I have 20 days in Las Vegas and am somehow still not doing all the things I wanted to do.  Like walk across the street and take pictures.  Sigh.

I went downstairs for some coffee.  I ended up drinking seventeen cups total during my stay here at Cromwell.  That makes the resort fee kinda sorta almost not really fair.

Every gambler knows about the $200 cup of coffee.  You go downstairs in the morning, you order a cup of coffee from the cocktail waitress.  You lose $200 before she comes back with your coffee.  Since Cromwell has free coffee, I am trading out the $200 cup of coffee for the $100 cigarette.   The hotel is non smoking, so I can only smoke down here or outside.  I am not going to go outside when there are video poker machines inside so…

Continue reading

I went back upstairs and I had two text messages. One confirming my facial appointment for tomorrow, one from my landlord’s daughter, letting me know they are raising my rent.  Ah 2016 and your technology.

I packed and checked out and walked over to the Mirage, taking some photos along the way.

venetian palazzo las vegas venetian canal las vegas palazzo venetian las vegas las vegas strip casino royale caesars las vegas forum shops

I am spending one night at Mirage courtesy of a MyVegas reward.   I have only stayed here one time before, and that was when Wagerworks existed.   On that first trip, two things happened.  One, I took a bus trip to Laughlin, and two, on the bus, they showed “Vegas Vacation” which was the first time I saw that movie somehow.  I remember thinking “This is the fucking coolest thing ever!  That is MY HOTEL in the movie!!!”  The second thing was that:  I used to be completely obsessed with having room photos of every hotel room I stayed at in Las Vegas.  On this trip, I used a disposable camera (that shows how long ago this was) and none of them came out.  So bummed!   So I always wanted to stay here again and fifteen years later, here I am!

I tried to check in. The woman at the desk told me it would be $30 for early check in and I told her she could suck it.  Okay I didn’t really, but I also did not pay for early check in.  I stashed my bags with the Bell Desk and headed to Red Rock to use a MyVegas buffet reward.

I took the Deuce bus to the Sahara Express bus.  This latter was a weird bus ride.   I got on the bus on the East Side of Sahara.  This is good to note since most people think you have to cross over and catch it on the West Side, outside the Bonanza gift shop.  You don’t, it stops on both sides.  Or at least it is supposed to.  My driver didn’t stop at the stop outside the gift shop and some man went ballistic on him and cursed him out.  Lots of other people joined in, asking why the driver did not stop in very violent ways.

From here, the driver kept making stops but telling people to go through the back door and not pay.  I am really not sure what this guy’s deal was.  But he got me to Red Rock, so who cares.

The buffet line here was insanely long.  It took well over half an hour to get seated.  It was like this when I was here one day for lunch last year as well.

There was a woman with a Boston Terrier service dog.   He made my day.  So adorable.

After eating, as well as before eating, I played some Cleopatra Keno.  I could not hit for shit.  I said screw it and went for broke and soon enough, broke I was.  I saved $5 to try some live Keno later tonight.  Because it is always a good idea to keep moving to games with more of a house edge as you are losing.

I took the bus back to the Mirage.  There were two LOUD women sitting behind me.  The one who was slightly less loud than the other one, kept sucking on her teeth.  This was painful.  Then a woman gets on the bus with what appears to be two babies that she is snuggling.  But she has no stroller and…wait, those aren’t babies, they are dolls.  She is now the center of attention with people asking her a million questions about her babies.   One is hers, the other is adopted.  This is why they look different. Oh.

We passed my beloved Riviera and I got all sad.  I love this place so much and her being gone really was the final straw for me in the downfall of Las Vegas’s appeal.  I let you take the Stardust and Westward Ho, I draw the line at my beloved Riviera.  I need to go and get some photos of her before they demolish her.  Bastards.

I got room number 20102.  This room is really nice.  This is a hotel where I get it that people love it.

mirage hotel las vegas bed

mirage hotel las vegas bathroommirage hotel las vegas roomI spent some time working on my blog and then before I knew it, it was time to go see Love.

I had picked up my tickets a few days ago at the box office at Bellagio.  Then I got a voicemail telling me I was given the wrong tickets.  So I had to stop at the Love box office to exchange them.  I am now in the very last row.  This wasn’t so bad as that whole “there are no bad seats in the entire theater” thing is true.  The man next to me LOVED Love.  He knew every word to every song, and alternated between playing the air drums and air guitar.  I love this show too, despite not liking The Beatles.  It is very busy and I think you would probably have to watch it fifty times to see everything that is going on.

After the show, I tried my hardest to play live Keno but either the Mirage does not have live Keno, or else I could not find live Keno.  Do casinos really not have live Keno?  This is the second time on this trip that this happened to me.

I was happy to settle for video Keno though.  And it was happy to take my money and not give me anything in return.

Gambling Day: – $200
Gambling Trip: + $0
Miscellaneous: (tips):  $8.00
Comps used: nada
Freebies:  Two cups of fancy schmancy coffee from Cromwell, Mirage room (MyVegas), Love ticket (MyVegas) and Red Rock buffet (MyVegas)

My itinerary for today?  Well no.  I only checked into Mirage and saw Love.  Oops?

Monday, January 4, 2016
Breakfast: Jackson’s Tavern $20 free play LVA 6020 Flamingo 202 @ Duneville
Check into Mirage 
Lunch:
Gold Coast $10 free play LVA
High Roller $10 off LVA
Dinner:
Bellagio buffet 3-10 free MyVegas
Love 9:30

Las Vegas Trip Report: Let Me Get Some Karma Please

My bed at Cromwell is probably the most comfortable bed on the planet.  Because of this, I was actually able to sleep in a bit.  I may have stayed in bed all day if this hotel allowed smoking.  But since it does not, I need to get up and get dressed and go downstairs.

I made the mistake of looking into the mirror.   Have you ever been so hung over that your eyes are completely bloodshot?  Well I have that look going on, but I haven’t drank any alcohol since I arrived here.  I also do not get hangovers, not even when I drink for twelve hours a day for four straight days at a fest.  I am not sure what is going on here, but let’s just pretend we didn’t look in the mirror and go about our day, shall we?

I continue on my mission to consume as much free fancy schmancy coffee as I can, to offset the resort fee.  On this morning’s third (or fourth or fifth?) cup, they ran out of milk.  Sigh.  Do not think that will deter me.  This fancy schmancy machine has the option of adding steamed milk.  SO I SHALL!

I played for a while on Ultimate X.  I love this game, I love this particular machine.   It allows me to actually play without sucking up all my money in the blink of an eye.   Then I hit Aces with a multiplier.  Wheeeeeee!

For nickels, figuring out how much you won is easy.  Divide the number in half and knock off the last zero.  So 2400 nickels = $120.

aces with 3x ultimate x video poker Continue reading

As I am taking  the photo, the woman next to me starts asking me what I am playing, how do you play it, etc.  I make it very clear to her that this game is very volatile and when you lose, you lose fast and hard.

But in the end, that doesn’t matter because she hits this.

dealt royal flush ultimate x video poker

Are you fucking kidding me.

I went upstairs and drowned my jealousy in a brownie that I had brought with me from Smiths Supermarket yesterday. This was a four pack and I wish it were an eleventy billion pack because these brownies were so good.

I took a nap and then got dressed to go see Criss Angel “Believe” at Luxor.  This was free via MyVegas.  Everyone will tell you how bad this show is.  But I want to see it and it is FREE so I am going to see it.

I don’t want to deal with the Deuce bus so I just walk from Cromwell to Luxor.  I am shocked to tell you that not even once did I have to tell anyone to “move it”, or tell anyone to watch where they are walking.   What a nice walk this was!

I took some photos while walking.  It is about time my camera got some action.  I have spent close to $2000 on this camera and all its accessories and the entire time I have been here, I have been taking photos with my phone exclusively.  And they are all crooked.  Good job.

ballys cosmopolitan las vegas strip excalilbur las vegasplanet hollywood casino las vegasluxor las vegas sphinxnew york new york las vegaslas vegas stripI arrive a tiny bit too early so I sit down and play nickel Cleopatra Keno.  This machine sucks.  There are filthy ashtrays all over the place, with tissues in them.   People, these things are meant to hold burning ash.  Do not put flammable items in them.  Sheesh.  I also cannot win a damn thing.

Then it was show time.  The show was not bad at all.  I think it has a horrible reputation because it is billed as a Cirque du Soleil show and there is zero acrobatics in it.   It is a magic show.  The only thing I did not like about it is that somewhere near me, someone smelled like a dirty diaper.  Other than that, it was pretty good.

After the show, I had planned to play live Keno, a la the Griswolds in Vegas Vacation.  This is where they won, this is where I am going to win.  Or this is where I am going to get lost walking around the casino for a million  years and never finding the live Keno.  It is not possible that they do not have live Keno here, is it?  This is a casino!  But I cannot find it so I give up and walk through Excalibur and get lost in there for half my life.  I am lost for so long that I have time to replay my entire life story in my head.  During this trip down memory lane, I start to remember my vows to never enter this property again because I have never once found an exit with ease.  But I did find live Keno so let’s do this!

I lost.

And then I got lost again trying to find the exit.

But I am pleased to tell you that I am not typing this out in a corner of the castle while building a shelter for my new home.   Eventually, I found an exit.  Yay!

I stopped at Walgreens for water and discovered I really wanted a yogurt with granola. I am in Las Vegas and this is what I am eating for dinner?  Yep.

I stopped at Planet Hollywood for reasons I surely do not understand, and played a bit and lost a bit.  I continued to Cromwell where I put my last $20 of the day’s gambling budget into Ultimate X.  It took me a bit to realize I was playing dimes instead of nickels.  NO.  I switched over to nickels and saw the person who played this before me left three 8x multipliers for me.  Holy shit, i cannot wait to tell my readers how I won a billion dollars on this!  Well guys, you are just going to have to wait for next time because it did not happen this time.

I did rack up another ten coffees today, making my free coffee total so far fifteen.  I love your free coffee Cromwell.

Gambling Day: – $120
Gambling Trip: + $200
Miscellaneous: (water and yogurt):  $6.58
Comps used: Cromwell hotel stay
Freebies:  Ten cups of fancy schmancy coffee at Cromwell, one ticket to Believe.

My itinerary today is stupid because I put a Las Vegas Advisor coupon on it, but the earliest I could even pick up the book is tomorrow.  I also did nothing on it except see Believe.

Sunday, January 3, 2016
Breakfast:  Gold Coast 8:00 am-9:00 pm 200 points = free buffet
Lunch:
Dinner: Ellis Island 50% off LVA
Ellis Island $10 free play ACG/free shirt ACG
Ellis Island free shirt ACG
Criss Angel 7:00 – Luxor

Las Vegas Trip Report: Y’all Know What Four of a Kind Threes Look Like, Right?

I finally make it to The Cromwell.  I am insanely excited about this.  I loved this place when it was The Barbary Coast.  Hated it when it was whatever the hell stupid name they tried using after changing it from Barbary Coast.  Am so curious to see what it looks like now.

View from outside:
flamingo cromwell las vegas nevadaAnd some bonus Strip photos since this is my first time on the Strip during this trip.

ballys paris las vegasstarbucks ballys las vegas

Continue reading

I checked in and they are fancy here.  After I was all ready to go to my room, I am told “I will come around to hand you your key” as if handing to me over the counter would have insulted my “I look homeless”ness.

There is a free coffee station for guests at the elevators.  Since I am paying $60-something in resort fees, I fully intend to drink $60-something in free coffee.  Try and stop me.

The elevator walls beg the question of “What came first, Cosmopolitan or Cromwell?”  (Hint: Cosmopolitan)

cromwell elevator las vegas
I get to my room and it seems even smaller than I remember the Barbary Coast rooms being.  It is much darker, that is for sure.   I am on the side of the hotel with THE wall.  If you do not know what I am talking about, then allow me to explain.

When The Barbary Coast was being redone from whatever the hell they were trying to call it after “Barbary Coast” to Cromwell, they decided the main focus would be Drais night club on the roof.   They added a pool up there and then had to build a support wall. This means that the bulk of rooms on the North side of the hotel face this wall.    I used my zoom to make a fake view, but the wall is indeed there.

cromwell las vegas strip view

cromwell las vegas room view

The room is done very nicely.

cromwell las vegas hotel room cromwell las vegas hotel bed cromwell las vegas room cromwell las vegas room chaircromwell las vegas closet cromwell las vegas bathroom

cromwell vegas roomEven with every light on in the room, it is still dark.  Not sure if the wall played a part in that.  I also didn’t really like the feel of the room.  They have wood floors, which make cleaning easier, but they also mean things echo in here.   I don’t recall ever in my life having so many people knock on doors in the hallway.  But this happened all night long and the knocks would echo through my room.  Finally they stopped and once morning came, housekeeping began creating more echoing knocks in my room.

I dropped my stuff off and went to play in the casino.  I went to get a new card since I did not have mine with me.  I was given $5 free play.  Cool!  I sat down at a quarter Double Double Bonus video poker machine and got four of a kind for the first time in days.  It was glorious!

quarter eights

From here, I went upstairs to take a nap.  When I went to plug my phone in, I realized I left my charger back in Henderson.  No no no no no no no no noooooooo.

After napping, I went across the street to Bellagio to pick up some show tickets I had pre-purchased / redeemed via MyVegas, including for tonight’s performance of “O”, which in case you are somehow unaware, is the water based Cirque du Soleil show at Bellagio.  This is my third time seeing it.  I was able to get Cirque gift cards on Living Social during a Christmas promo where I got a $100 gift card for $72, and a $50 gift card for $36.  Excellent promotion.

The show was great, as always.

Afterwards, I played a bit of Cleopatra Keno at Bellagio.  I like the Cleopatra Keno here.  I sure as hell did better here than I did at Rainbow.  This specific machine plays weirdo trumpety fanfare music when you get the bonus.  I have never heard this before, not even on this machine the last time I was here.

After losing as much as I was willing to lose, I had to walk to Walgreens next to Planet Hollywood to get a new phone charger.  I stopped and played a bit at Cosmopolitan and lost lightening quick.

Walgreens did not have a charger for my phone but they had a USB cord.  It just so happened that my fancy Cromwell room had a USB plug built into the dresser.

usbTip:  Flat screen televisions also have USB plugs in the back.  I used these later in the trip when I was at less fancy schmancy hotels that did not have USB plugs.  The only downside is that you need the television on to make them charge.  So if you do not like sleeping with the television on, you have to suck it up to get your phone charged while  you sleep.  You can also use the USB slot in your laptop to charge.

However, on the way to my room from Walgreens, pre-charging my phone, I stopped in the casino and sat down to play some Ultimate X.   I am playing three hands and am dealt four of a kind threes.  I got the kicker on the one line that had a multiplier (3x).  So I got 3200 nickels = $160.   I took out my phone to get a picture and the battery is completely dead.  Sigh.  Guys, this is the first day in many days where I have wins to take pictures of and I do not have the ability to.  I am so sorry.

I cashed out and put $20 into the quarter machine that gave me eights earlier, and it gave me…four of a kind THREES, sans kicker.   And my phone battery is still dead.  What are the chances of all these threes?  I was pretty psyched.

I went up to the room a tiny bit richer.  I made sure to grab some more free coffee and ate a brownie I had left over from my trip to Smiths grocery store in Henderson.   Plugged in my phone and went to bed.

Gambling Day: + $200
Gambling Trip: + $280
Miscellaneous: (phone charger, housekeeping tip) $20
Comps used: Comped night at Cromwell
Freebies:  Free breakfast, five cups of fancy schmancy coffee at Cromwell, free $5 slot play for reasons I don’t know.

World’s most boring itinerary:

Saturday, January 2, 2016
Breakfast: 
Check into Cromwell
Lunch:
Dinner:

O 9:30

Las Vegas Trip Report: Three Days in Henderson, Nevada

Technically, I spent a total of six days in Henderson.  This covers three consecutive ones where the individual days do not have enough content to be the least bit interesting so I am combining them.

This morning I woke up at Fiesta Henderson at 6:00 am.  This is the latest I have slept since arriving.  This is still a bit ridiculous, but I will take the small victory.  I kind of have to since it is the first thing resembling a victory that I have had in days.

Downstairs to Starbucks.  Iced coffee and coffee cake.  Nature’s perfect pair.

Fiesta Henderson has penny Supertimes Pay video poker.  Woo, I get to play ten play Supertimes Pay!  It was fun even on pennies.  I also hit Aces twice so my wanting to hit Aces every day got fulfilled.  TWICE.  Look at me, all excited about an $8 win. Oh how the mighty have fallen.  At least I have a picture to post of anything.  (I only took a photo of one of them apparently.)

penny aces 2

Continue reading

I did the Stations daily promotion where you can pick a penguin and win a huge prize.  I did the first part okay, the second part, not so much. I won 1500 Boarding Pass points.   Meh.

Back to the room to pack and check out.  Today I am moving to Hawthorne Wyndham Suites in Henderson.  This was booked via Hotwire.  I actually booked it when I was in Urumqi, China.  I was having a mental meltdown from being on such a difficult trip and decided that I would be going to Las Vegas to spend time in familiar territory.

I picked Henderson for these dates because it is New Year’s Eve.  This not only makes the Strip and Downtown out of my price level, it also makes the amount of people in both those places way out of my “want it” level.

My hotel was one of those “see if after you buy it” places that was described as an all suite hotel, and as having a casino.   It was not an all suite hotel (I didn’t care) and the casino was closed.  I asked one of the employees about it.  It was named “My Casino” and had recently been bought by Dotty’s, and it was vacant for the time being.

I took the bus here.  It should have (and would have) been easy except I got off at the wrong stop.  I was supposed to get off at Palo Verde at Boulder and instead I got off at Palo Verde and not Boulder.  I had to wait half an hour for the next bus.  Sigh.  As cold as it has been while I have been here, today was slightly warm and the sun was burning me.  I had to keep turning because my jeans were on fire and burning my legs.

I get to the hotel and am told I cannot check in because it is not 3:00 yet.  Fine by me, I will just sit here in the lobby until my jeans cool down.   I didn’t even make it one inch towards the couches before it was discovered that I could check in early.  Woo!  My room came with a refrigerator and microwave.  Oh also a DVD player.  There was also laundry facilities.  Which, if you have ever read any Las Vegas message board or Facebook group dedicated to Las Vegas, goes something like this:

The Internet:  OH MY GOD, WHY WOULD ANYONE DO LAUNDRY IN LAS VEGAS?

Me: Well this is a twenty day trip so…

The Internet:  OH MY GOD, YOU ARE ON VACATION.  WHO WANTS TO DO LAUNDRY?

Me:  Well, see aforementioned twenty day trip

The Internet:  OH MY GOD, I WOULD NEVER DO LAUNDRY IN LAS VEGAS?

Me: So…..don’t?

hawthore suites wyndham henderson nevada roomHawthorne Suites Wyndham Henderson Las Vegas Nevada

My total cost via Hotwire for three nights here, which included New Year’s Eve, was $152.45.  No resort fee.  Free breakfast.  It also included free dinner on the night I arrived but I totally napped through that.   This was a great deal.   But the lack of casino bothered me.  I ended up writing to Hotwire about it (it was listed as having a casino) and they gave me an option of being fully refunded if I checked out (leaving me to find a last minute hotel on New Year’s Eve in Las Vegas) or to stay and they would credit me 25%.  I took the credit.  Then I used that credit to pay for my last night in Vegas, which I still had not decided on at that point.  Wins all over the place here!  Let’s take this luck to a casino!

I took the bus to Sam’s Town.  I wanted to use my Las Vegas Advisor $10 free play that I was supposed to use on some other day and did not.   When I went to get it loaded on my card, I discovered I am now Sapphire level at Boyd.  Oops, I did not mean to move up a level.  It just kind of happened.   Degenerate gambler strikes again!

sams town las vegas

I lost my $10 and then the free play.  And then I converted all my points into free play and lost that too.  Then I saw that the quarter Keno progressive was over $100k so I had to lose some more money trying for that too.  It was just one of those nights where everything hated me.  It was mutual.

I took the bus back to my hotel.  I almost got out at the Rainbow casino but decided to behave myself.

The next two days, I alternated between Rainbow, Eldorado and Emerald Island.  I won no money in these places.

el dorado casino henderson las vegas nevada emerald island casino henderson las vegas nevadaBut I did get to sing Ronnie James Dio’s “Rainbow in the Dark” so it was all good.

rainbow in the dark casino henderson las vegas nevada
Emerald Island has a promotion where you sign up for a card, earn 50 points and you get a coupon book that includes both a free burger and a free skillet breakfast.   What was even kind of cooler was that I hit the 50 points and someone approached me on my machine to hand me the book.  I didn’t even have to notify them or go back to the player’s club.

I lost the skillet coupon before I got to use it.  The burger was great though.

I played a Keno game that was more like a carnival Keno game than I am used to (and I play Cleopatra Keno nonstop.)  The machine was kind of cool.  You can see how my screen is popped up, it does this when you insert the money.  So you can see better.

keno emerald island casino henderson las vegas nevada

I ate at Rainbow’s coffee shop.  There was a limited menu as it was New Year’s Eve, which was fine by me.  I had a burger and it was fantastic.

Rainbow also has the best Cleopatra Keno pay table I have ever seen.   I play nine numbers always.  Usually the six number hit is worth 40, and the 7 number hit varies from 260 (Red Rock) to 320 (Four Queens) and 400 (lots of places, including Bellagio of all oddities.)

cleopatra keno pay table rainbow casino henderson las vegasOf course, none of this matters if you do not hit the numbers.  Which I didn’t.  So…

Most of what I did for three days was lose my money very quickly, and watch Netflix.  I had planned to spend New Year’s Eve in my room watching Netflix, since I didn’t really want to be around people so much.  But being in Henderson for all these days was like being on a weirdo vacation.  I was in Las Vegas, but I wasn’t because I was in Henderson.  When I was at Hawthorne, I could not just go to a casino. It required getting on a bus.  It felt weird.  I could see the Strip fireworks from my hotel window though, so there was that.

I also stopped at my first Dotty’s casino.  These are all over the place in local neighborhoods.   They are small and have huge comfy office type chairs at their machines. I won $5 here but I did not see a TITO machine and assumed I had to go to the cashier (who also runs the store) and I didn’t want to bother her so I played it until I had zero.  Because degenerate.

dotty's casino

When it came time to leave Henderson, I was more than ready to do so.

I feel bad about how short and boring this is so let’s talk about my bus ride to the Strip.  I take the BHX and transfer for the 202.  A woman sits next to me, turns to the guy next to her and compliments his beard.  Then she turns to me and compliments me on my glasses, and then asks if I like her glasses.  Sure.  She is now complimenting every person on the bus and asking for compliments in return.  Once everyone has received their compliments, she launches into her life story.  She has drank too much Dr. Pepper and is feeling way too hyper.  She loves playing at MGM Grand because her Chinese sign is a lion.  She offered every homeless man on the bus her phone number.  She even asked one where he was going with his luggage and he told her he was homeless and going to a shelter.  She tried to give him money and he would not take it.   This was a very nice person, although a bit crazy.

Then somehow she began talking about sex.  This was extremely awkward.  To say the least.  The homeless men on the bus really seemed to enjoy her though.  I really just wanted to get the hell off the bus already.  I always forget how far Boulder Highway is from the Strip.  In my mind, it is a walkable distance, but in reality, it is at least half an hour by vehicle.

Finally, I made it to Cromwell and am about to begin the Strip portion of my trip.

Gambling Day: -$600 (three days at $200/day)
Gambling Trip: +$80
Miscellaneous: (Dunkin Donuts, a trip to a dollar store, a trip to Smith’s Grocery for snacks for the room/toiletries, and cigarettes): $78.43
Comps used: $25 free play from my points at Sam’s Town
Freebies:  Burger at Emerald Island, breakfast for three days at Hawthorne Suites, $38.11 Hotwire credit for my hotel not having the advertised casino.

Here are the itineraries for two days.  I never had one for New Year’s Day since I figured I might spend it working on my blog (and then didn’t.)

Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Breakfast: 
Check into Hawthorne Suites
Lunch:
Dinner:
Emerald Island Grill half off LVA
Earn 100 points Emerald Island free spin LVA
Jerry’s Nugget:New Member Rewards:
50 points – $5 Comp
100 points – Jerry’s Nugget T-shirt
250 points – $20 Comp
500 points – $40 Gift Card
1,000 points – $100 Free Play on Slots and Video Poker
Joker’s Wild 11x reels, 7x vp

Thursday, December 31, 2015
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Dinner:
Rainbow Bar and Grill
Silver Sevens slots 7x vp 3X
Suncoast 15x pennies, 11x slots, 7x vp

Las Vegas Trip Report: One Night at Fiesta Henderson

This morning I woke up at Sunset Station at 4:30 am.  I do not know what is wrong with me and my sleeping pattern.  I refused to make the same mistake as yesterday, when I went out and lost all my money before Starbucks even opened.  I forced myself to stay in my room until 8:00 am.  This was not easy since all the machines downstairs were screaming my name.  SHUT UP YOU ASSHOLES.

I went downstairs and used a MyVegas reward for breakfast.  I had a big score when the buffet ran out of strawberry yogurt and it was replaced with blueberry.  Hey, I will take any win I can get at this point in my losing streak.

I played a bit to make sure that the blueberry yogurt was not the only score I was going to have this morning and sadly, it was.  Stations casinos are having a promotion where you can swipe your card, pick a penguin and win a prize.  Today’s prize was a free $5 bet on a table game. I don’t know how to play table games.  The Roulette dealer I asked for help, told me what I could bet.  I picked red and black came up.  Because of course it did.

Continue reading

I went outside to find a drug store to get some stuff I am running out of, particularly conditioner.  I probably exited through the one door that is nowhere near anywhere.  I walked forever and found nothing.  I knew there was a Target nearby but why would I walk out the door that I know where to walk to Target from, when I can walk out a door that I have no idea where I am.  I probably walked a million miles, most of them in the parking lot, before I gave up and went back to my room to pack.

Today I am moving to Fiesta Henderson.   I booked this on Priceline for $20.  They charge a $9.99 resort fee ($11-something with tax) and I was okay with this because it includes internet.

Taking the bus here from Sunset Station probably took ten minutes.  The walk through the parking lot probably took the same as well.

fiesta henderon las vegas hotel sign

I check in and get room 3115.  Don’t let the numbers fool you.  That is the third floor.  The room was motel-like and honestly, I kind of like rooms like this because they are in my comfort zone.

Fiesta Henderson hotel room las vegas

fiesta henderson las vegas bathroom

I went downstairs to gamble and decided I truly hate this casino.  I am trying to play nickel video poker and it seems like every machine I try is ten coins for max bet.  The royal is shorted if you only play five.  Guys, I don’t want to play ten coins.  I am broke.  I finally settle on nickel Keno with a progressive jackpot that of course, I did not hit.  Time for a nap!

When I woke up, I decided I was going to go Downtown.  I have the two Plaza $5 free play coupons I never used the other day.  I can get a comped meal at Four Queens and some Dunkin Donuts coffee.  Plus see also:  I can actually find the Walgreens down there.

I go outside and pick the wrong bus stop to catch the HDX bus.  A man is there and he points me to the right bus stop, across two streets.  The HDX is pulling away as this is happening.  But it is only 6:50 and it is supposed to come at 7:16 so I stick it out, hoping that this one was just the bus before running late.  Nope.  As I am sitting there, more people come to catch the 7:16 bus.  Everyone is getting annoyed at how late it is.  I get to where I cannot take it anymore and quit and give up.  By the time the next bus would have come, I would have only had an hour Downtown before having to come back here.  That or take a bus that is not the HDX and that takes an insane amount of time to do.

Maybe this is fate telling me that playing in Fiesta Henderson is my destiny and I will finally win something.

Nope.

I didn’t even get so much as one four of a kind today.  This is bullshit and I demand a recount.

I came back to my room with Starbucks and used the internet to make a new post.  I also watched Netflix.  I did not chill though.  Sigh.

I also never read my itinerary today so I did not use the Sam’s Town $10 free play.  Or do anything else on it except switch hotels.

Gambling Day: -200
Gambling Trip: +680
Miscellaneous: (Starbucks, cigarettes, tips): $24.97
Comps used: Nada.
Freebies: Sunset Station buffet.  Free via MyVegas, saved me $7.02.  Side note, how cute is it that this buffet costs is the same as the Las Vegas Area code / how annoying must it be for cashiers to continually have to give $.98 change?

Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Breakfast: Sunset Station, 8-11 free MyVegas
Check into Fiesta Henderson
Lunch:
Dinner:
Sams Town 4-9 200 points = free ACG
Sam’s Town $10 free play LVA
Plaza 10x slots
Sam’s Town 20x buffalo, 11x reels, 7x vp (kiosk)
Suncoast 10x slots, 6x vp

Las Vegas Trip Report: The Day That Started Before Yesterday Ended

I woke up at Sunset Station.  The alarm clock said 1:19 and my first thought was that I slept through the entire night and it was 1:19 in the afternoon. Nope, morning.  My nap had lasted ten hours.  Not 22, idiot.

I got up and played on my phone. Good thing I did not go right back to bed as shortly after, the alarm clock went off from the previous guest.  I could not figure out how to turn it off so I just unplugged it.

What should I do now?  I tried sleeping again but it didn’t take.   So obviously, I went down to gamble.  And had the realization that I never want to be anywhere that is not downtown ever again.  Here is why:

I needed cigarettes and coffee.  The gift shop is not open, Starbucks is not open.  It is negative eleventy billion degrees outside.  Even if I were willing to go out there (I was not) it is one-freaking-something am and I don’t know which way to walk to find anything once I am out there.

I was fortunate that the casino had cigarette machines around ($9.00 a pack, cheaper than New York, that’s for damn sure) but my only choice for coffee in a cup that I could have next to me at a machine was a cocktail waitress.  Of which I saw none.

If I had been downtown, I could have had a choice of Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks. Both 24 hours, both a short walk away. If it had not been eleventy billion degrees below zero, I could have went outside.  But I am at a local’s casino with about 89234783 exits.  I don’t know where anything is outside. It is too cold to go exploring. Let’s talk about that for a bit, shall we?

Continue reading

I go to Las Vegas every December for Christmas, have for at least twelve years.  Save for that one year I went to Atlantic City instead and my waiter at breakfast clearly pitied me being solo and paid me extra special attention, as I vowed to never return due to that extra special pity attention that I most certainly did not require.

Point is, I know it is cold here in December.  I am not one of those idiots who thinks “Las Vegas is the desert!” and shows up during a snow storm dressed for Hawaii.  But this year it is so much colder than normal.  I will remember it always. Like that one year when my sister was with me and it was insanely cold and every time I think about that trip, my first thought is “It was so fucking cold that year!”  I remember being outside Walgreens on Fremont Street and running inside to warm up before continuing my walk to El Cortez.  It is that cold this year.  With a winter coat on, I do not want to go outside because the wind sends pain like knives through my winter coat.

Walking from my room to the casino is down a very long hallway with windows that are rattling from the wind.  This hallways is frozen.  Inside, with a coat on, the hallway is frozen.  So no. I am not going to go outside in the dark and wander around for an hour trying to find coffee.  I am going to instead, give the closed Starbucks inside Sunset Station my patented middle finger as I walk by it on my way to losing all my money.

The casino is as empty right now as it was full earlier this afternoon.  Every machine I touched played so loud that I was telling the machine “shut up already” and it would not.

I played a Buffalo slot.   It is always a good idea to play money sucking slots when you are on a losing streak.  Or if you are an idiot.  Fortunately, sometimes the gambling gods pity idiots and will do things like give you a $120 bonus win. Yay!

I played some Supertimes Pay and hit my favorite hand!  So pretty!

aces kicker

I then went to play Cleopatra Keno.  I wanted to play eight quarters a game, but the machine maxed out at four.  Why?  Why do you do this?  The gambling gods are watching out for me.  Why do YOU care if I want to lose two bucks a game?  Argh.  Stupid casino.

I switch back and forth between Keno and Double Double Bonus video poker until my budget is gone.  And Starbucks has still yet to open.

I have 45 minutes until Starbucks.  I need coffee.  I could probably walk to my room and back to kill 45 minutes, lord knows it is far away enough.  But CASINO!  So I put a $20 from my Buffalo wins into a different Buffalo machine and win $200.  Whoa.

Now I have $400 in winnings and no coffee.  Because Starbucks is still not open.  By now, a cocktail waitress has started stalking me but as any degenerate gambler knows, why on earth would I order a free coffee, when instead, I could gamble until Starbucks opens?  So I do.  And $100 later, Starbucks is open and I am able to purchase the most delicious cup of iced coffee ever.

I head back to my room, mad at myself.  Partly for losing $100, partly for my sleeping pattern, mostly for being an asshole in every which was possible. But how about that iced coffee?  Mmmm.

It is still painfully early.  I hang out in the room for a bit, mostly alternating between typing this report and hitting “refresh” more times on Facebook than I would like to admit.

Finally, 8:00 am rolled around and I went downstairs to redeem a MyVegas buffet for breakfast. Since the reward is good for two people, I tried to again get a second receipt for each so I could give one away, as the cashier at Santa Fe Station had voluntarily done for me.  This cashier told me it is not possible.  Oh well.

I normally don’t pay attention to people because I do not care, but I did notice one woman who had a plate overflowing with toast.  She had about ten slices on it.  She was sitting across from me.  Her husband (I am guessing here) then came and dropped off another ten slices for her.  She was sitting there buttering away during the entire time I ate my breakfast.  I found that insanely odd.

After eating, I played a bit and lost more than a bit.  I lost $200 of my remaining $300 winnings from this morning.  Sigh.   Then I went to the front desk to check out and check back in. I had booked two nights here via MyVegas before they changed the rewards to one per person.  So I am stranded here another night, still reluctant to go outside.  I also have a free MyVegas dinner buffet but probably cannot use it as you are only allowed to use two rewards per 24 hours and I have already used a buffet and a room.  Sigh, should have stuck to my itinerary and used that last night.  Except that I slept through last night.

I came back to the room to try and nap again.  I feel like I have been doing this too much.  I originally wanted to take my first trip to the North Las Vegas casinos today.  I also realized I never used my $5 free play at Plaza coupons from both American Casino Guide and Las Vegas Advisor.  Both expire this week.  But I do not want to go outside. Every time I walk the hallway from my room to the casino, I am frozen.  And this is an inside hallway.  The Plaza coupons are grinding my gears and I suspect I will end up taking a trip to use them.  Because degenerate.  Also because Dunkin Donuts.

I went back out in the evening…to gamble some more OBVS.  I ended up losing the last $100 of this morning’s winnings because of course I did.  Duh.  I had $5 free play from my points and ran that up to $6.25 on a nickel Double Double bonus video poker game.  Then I got that up to $10. And then turned that $10 into zero because that’s what I do.

I ended up eating Subway for dinner. I hate when I do this.  Whenever I am losing so I grab something to bring back to the room to settle in with a book.  It sounds like a good plan but the fact is that I am now paying for crappy food, when I have comps to cover non-crappy food.  But the non-crappy food is in a casino and I need to leave the casino.  So losing costs me even more by paying for food.  Idiot.

sunset station las vegas

Gambling Day: – $0
Gambling Trip: + $880
Miscellaneous: (tips, coffee, Subway and cigarettes) $38
Comps used: NOPE.
Freebies:  MyVegas room at Sunset Station, MyVegas buffet reward for breakfast at Sunset Station

My itinerary for today: Yes, nope, nope, nope, nope and nope.

Monday, December 28, 2015
Breakfast: Sunset Station, 8-11 free MyVegas
Lunch:
Dinner:
Mirage buffet 3-9 free MyVegas
Sam’s Town 20x buffalo, 11x reels, 7x vp (kiosk)
2000 points Longhorn casino (400 = $1 comp) ACG
Longhorn $5 free play ACG
Gold Coast 30x slots (kiosk)

Las Vegas Trip Report: Degenerate Gambler Tries Dollar Video Poker

I am wide awake at the California hotel at 6:00 am this morning.  I shower and get dressed and walk over to The D to use my $10 dining voucher.  Fremont Street is empty except for me and the homeless.

early morning fremont street las vegas

I saw this sign which drove me nuts.  It is a huge pet peeve of mine when people spell “Fremont” as “Freemont.”  I even once saw someone spell it as “Freemount”.  Although I guess since prostitution is illegal in Las Vegas, all mounts should be free.  Yet whoever made this sign, must work on Freeeeeeeeeemont.  And here we are.

freeeeeeeeeeemont

Oh hey, the coffee shop doesn’t open until 8:00.  Remember when these things used to be 24 hours?  I have to use my credit today as it will be expired when I return Downtown later this trip.  So I get some coffee from Dunkin Donuts and sit down at my favorite Supertimes Pay machine in all of Las Vegas, conveniently located right outside Dunkin Donuts.

This machine is my baby and I have not played her in a year.  When I was here briefly in September, she was always taken.  I am so glad to be reunited with her.  She isn’t doing too good. Her screen is shot and fuzzy.  Aw, poor baby.

Continue reading

supertimes pay sevens

I turn $20 to $40 and then lose another $20 to even that out. I play some Keno and lose some more money because LOSER.  Finally it is 8:00 and I head back to The D to get breakfast.  I take the escalator upstairs and at the top is a woman sitting there breast feeding her kid.  In a casino.  Start ‘em off right I suppose.

Breakfast ended up costing me ten cents after my dining voucher / cleared out the remaining comps I have.  My relationship with The D is officially over.

I did stop and play some Sigma Derby.  There are twelve seats here.  Three on each long side, two on each short side. I had the entire game to myself until some man comes and sits right next to me on a short side.  Dude, the fucking game is empty.  No need to sit right fucking here.  So I bet the remaining 20 quarters I had on ONE combo that had 200 odds and lost it.  Oh well.

sigma derby

Back to California where I decide that since I am up for the trip, I am going to go for the $8128 dollar royal progressive.  That is insanely high, someone needs to hit it.  As I am playing, I am talking to the machine.  I am telling it that if it does not want to give me the $8128 royal, it can still give me any four of a kind.   Preferably Aces, but really, anything will do.  It gives me nothing.  But being the giving person I am, this does not stop me from continuing to give to it.  $300 later and I hate myself so much.

Back to the room to pack and get ready for my move to Sunset Station.  I will be there for two nights via MyVegas.  I booked before the one-per-person rule took effect.

I took the HDX bus, it took just under twenty minutes.  As a person who frequents lots of off strip places, I am always asked about renting a car.  I don’t even have a driver’s license.  The bus works.  You can take it should you chose to.  And if you do not want to, then hey, don’t!

BONUS: While I was standing at the bus stop, a homeless man was approaching, screaming very loudly.  It took a bit for me to realize I recognized the words he was screaming.  “Heaven and Hell” by Black Sabbath.  He was just not singing them anywhere near the tune.  Aw, I love Ronnie James Dio.

I got dropped off in front of Sunset Station and went to check in.  I got room 407.  I had to walk down a very looooooooooonnnnnng hallway to get there.  There is a parking lot right outside the elevator area.  Seems like that would be cool for people who drive.  Except you would still have to go all the way to the front desk.  Not sure why this hotel is designed like this.  Let’s put check in nowhere near the rooms.  Yes, that is a great blueprint, let me sign off on it!

The room is a room. There is nothing at all special about it.  The thermostat has seen better days and I have to push all the buttons multiple times to get them to work.  Other than that though, nothing. sunset station las vegas henderson room

sunset station henderson las vegas roomsunset station henderson las vegas bathroomsunset station henderson las vegas tub

sunset station las vegas room view

I go downstairs and gamble.  I am instantly horrified at how packed this place is.  It is hard to find any open machine and when you do, there are people surrounding it.  I had no idea this was such a happening place. I hate happening places.  Not enough to not gamble though so…

I played nickel Cleopatra Keno to balance out this morning’s dollar video poker loss.  I win nothing.

I went back to the room to take a nap.  This is where this day ends because I never woke back up.  Oops?

Gambling Day: – $500
Gambling Trip: + $880
Miscellaneous: (tip, coffee the $.10 The D breakfast!): $6.47
Comps used: The D breakfast
Freebies:  MyVegas room at Sunset Station

Today’s itinerary, really a joke at this point:

Sunday, December 27, 2015
Breakfast:  Fremont 7-10:30 free 250 points ACG
Check into Sunset Station
Lunch:
Dinner: Sunset Station, 4-9 free MyVegas
Jerry’s Nugget:New Member Rewards
50 points – $5 Comp
100 points – Jerry’s Nugget T-shirt
250 points – $20 Comp
500 points – $40 Gift Card
1,000 points – $100 Free Play on Slots and Video Poker
Downtown Grand 2x points promo
Gold Coast 30x slots (kiosk)
Orleans 30x pennies (kiosk)
Joker’s Wild 25x points on first 500 points,

Las Vegas Trip Report: Christmas 2015

Today is Christmas yay!  Oh wait, I don’t care.  BAH HUMBUG.

I woke up at 5:00 am because duh.  I am in Las Vegas.  I am at Orleans and they have a point multiplier promotion today so I must go gamble.  I walked over to Terribles for coffee.  I have to say, their coffee is pretty damn good.

Sunrise outside the Orleans hotel and casino.

las vegas sunrise orleans hotel

Then I played.

I had left the room with $120 and played all over the damn place. I hit four of a kind fives to start.

Continue reading

orleans fives

I decided I wanted to hit Aces every day so I begged every machine to give me Aces.  Finally one gave me Aces.  What a nice machine!

ultimate x aces

I used the last $10 free play coupon that I could not use last night because the line was way too long.  I got nothing other than to lose $10 that was not my own cash.

My third day’s attempt to play my nickel Keno machine that gave me a $940 win last year was actually successful. Sadly, the gambling session was not.

I went upstairs to pack and check out.  Today I am meeting a friend for lunch.  She was kind enough to not only come and pick me up, but to cover lunch with her comps, pay the tip and then cart me Downtown to California, which is my next hotel.  I told her when we parted that I hoped her kindness brought her amazing Karma.

Lunch was actually breakfast at whatever the name of Caesars coffee shop is.  I should know this since I was there, but I do not.  For a $22 bacon and eggs breakfast, you get raw-ish eggs and a surprise of your home fries being made with sweet potatoes.  Yeargh.

I mentioned that I had not gotten Aces with a kicker on quarters in years.  We agreed I was overdue.  Did you hear that gambling gods?   I am overdue.

At California, I am given room 1109 which is on the top floor of the tower where the last time I was on the top floor in this tower, my room was flooded.  Luckily there is no rain in the forecast today.  Or unluckily since I tend to win when it is raining.

I go out to play because duh.   I was playing a progressive quarter Double Double Bonus video poker machine and I hit four of a kind 4’s.  Woo!

california fours

I walked over to Main Street Station and played a Friends slot machine.  Guys, I need to not play this.  Like ever again.  No, not because I lost.  I didn’t lose. I won an $180 bonus.  But I need to stop playing because I love Friends so much that I cannot stop playing once I start.  I cashed out with only $80.  See what I mean?

I played some more video poker and got two four of a kinds.  Main Street Station gives you a scratch card for these hands, each of mine was worth the usual $2 each so I got an additional four dollars.  I am raking it in now!

main street station four of a kind nines

main street station four of a kind tensBoth Main Street Station and California are having promos that I did not know about. You swipe your card at a kiosk and see what you get.  I only discovered this by a woman doing it next to me as I was cashing a TITO ticket out.  

I swiped at MSS and got a point multiplier.  I did it again at California and got $5 free dining credit.  Which is like the last thing I need right now.  I have enough points earned today at both Main Street Station and California to get free buffets tomorrow using American Casino Guide coupons.   The $5 I won needs to be used today so I used it for an iced latte from Lappert’s.  Mmm.

I took a nap and then went out to use some free play coupons.  First up is Binions with $10 free slot play from Las Vegas Advisor.  I didn’t win anything on it kinda sorta.  But it gave me enough points to do their promotional swipe which got me $5 free play.  That got me (wait for it…) and ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR win on Cleopatra Keno.   Wheeeeee!  I cashed that out, put in $20 and hit for $100 again.  What a nice little run.

binions cleopatra keno win

binions cleopatra keno winI went next door to Fremont to get some Dunkin Donuts coffee.  The line you guys, the line.  I have never seen a line like this here ever.  It is all families too so like even when you get to the front, you cannot get to the register since there is a family blocking the entire walkway and then another family blocking the entire counter.  Because I guess being a family member means you are the most important person on the planet so you get to do things like block entire walk ways.

Sigh.

I played my favorite Supertimes Pay video poker machine at Fremont.   Eventually left dead even.  Played some Cleopatra Keno and lost.  Walked back to California and gave the quarter progressive Double Double Bonus video poker machine another try.  Oh hey.   LOOK. AT. WHAT. I. GOT. DEALT. TO. MEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
california dealt aces with kicker

YAY!

I cashed out and played around a bit and then went upstairs to bed.

Gambling Day: + $580
Gambling Trip: + $960
Miscellaneous: (coffee): $5.38
Comps used: California hotel stay
Freebies:  $5 free dining at California, won via a promotion and used for an iced latte, $5 free slot play from a promotion at Binions

I did most of the things on my itinerary.

Friday, December 25, 2015
Breakfast:
Orleans 15x pennies, 11x reels, 7x vp (kiosk)
Lunch: Caesars
Check into California
Dinner:
Binions
Binions double points ACG
Binions $10 free LVA
Four Queens double points ACG
The D $5 for every 50 points ACG
Plaza $5 free ACG
Plaza 10x slots
Downtown Grand $5 free LVA
Downtown Grand 2x points promo
Four Queens $10 free LVA
El Cortez $10 free LVA
Ellis Island 10x

Las Vegas Trip Report: Did Someone Order Aces?

Thursday, December 24, 2015

This morning I woke up at 4:00 am in my comfortable bed at the Orleans Hotel and Casino in beautiful Las Vegas.  I could not fall back asleep so I got dressed and went to gamble.  Obviously.

There is a Starbucks near Orleans but I do not know if it is open 24 hours so I settled for gas station coffee from Terribles next door.  Yes I know you can get coffee for free while playing.  No, I would rather not have to be at someone else’s mercy for coffee.

I wanted to play the nickel Keno machine I had won $940 on a year ago TODAY.  But it is taken.  Because it is 5:00 am so obviously that one machine would be taken.  So I settled for the Double Double Bonus video poker machine that had been kind to me last night.  She was kind once again.

straight flushquarter jacks video poker winquarter aces video poker win orleans

Continue reading

I now had $350 and could not believe my good fortune.  I started to play all my favorite money suckers, including Ultimate X.

ultimate x video poker threes x 3

The more I kept telling myself to stop it, the more I kept going.  Finally I lost all my wins.  You fucking asshole.  I could use creative accounting and think “Oh hey, I only lost $80 because that is all I brought down” but…well there is no but. I only lost $80 SO THERE.

Breakfast was at the Orleans coffee shop.  My room offer came with $10 dining.   Everyone here was nice and friendly and all “Happy holidays!” and I was all “You asshole, why did you not stop gambling?!?!”

I was back in my room by 7:00 am and went back to bed.

I woke up at 11:11 (make a wish!) and went back out.   First stop was Hooters to use both the American Casino Guide and Las Vegas Advisor coupons for $10 free play each.  The Las Vegas Advisor coupon is straight $10 free play, American Casino Guide is play ten and get ten.  I got LVA loaded and went to play to get the ACG loaded.  I left the free play on my card and put $20 cash into Family Guy. I love this game and you cannot use free play on it.  This machine had been nice to me in the past, but that was not the case today.  I also noted that the “repeat bet” button is still broken, just as it was last year.  Great job, Hooters slot techs.

I put my $20 free play into Cleopatra Keno and got it up to $100.  I cashed out at $75.  I then realized I needed one more single for the bus and rather than break a $5 bill, I decided to put it in Cleopatra Keno and play one game at $1.  I got the bonus and won $22.  I cashed out at $79 to get singles.  Yes, cashing out at $22 would have also gotten me singles, but I AM GAMBLOR.

From here, I walked over to Ellis Island Brewery and Casino to use some more coupons.   I had one for $10 free play from American Casino Guide one for a chance to spin a wheel for $10-$100 free play from Las Vegas Advisor, and a “earn 200 points, get a free entree” coupon from American Casino Guide.

I sat down and played Double Double Bonus video poker. It took me $60 to get the 200 points for the free entree. $60 for $20 free play a $10 meal seems fair, no?

I asked my server if I could get anything on the menu.  They don’t have anything listed specifically as entrees.  She said that it came as a credit and she could see what they took off.  I ordered steak and eggs.  With a root beer, it came to $14.31 and the coupon took off $14, making my soda free as well.  She comped off the $.31 so the entire meal was basically free.  For $60 that is.

After eating, I lost another $40 on Cleopatra Keno because why wouldn’t I?

Next stop: Tuscany casino to use the $10 free play coupon in American Casino Guide.   I put it in a nickel Cleopatra Keno, hit “max bet” and it turns out max bet on here is 80 nickels.  Yeesh.   I hit five balls and won 500 credits ($25) but put that all back in because why wouldn’t I?  I also tried a Flinstones slot, which was terribly mean to me.  Then I left.

I took the bus to Gold Coast from here.  I have two coupons, one for play $10, get $10 free play from Las Vegas Advisor and one for a free buffet for earning 200 points, from American Casino Guide.

I sat down at a quarter Double Double Bonus video poker game where the cards were dealt way too fast and there was no way to change it.  I decided to stick it out and boy am I sure glad I did.  Last hand.

quarter twos gold coast

I still did not have 200 points so I put another twenty in and well….

quarter aces gold coast 1

I got my 200 points.  I went to the player’s card booth to get my buffet coupon (good through December 30) and my free play.  I went back to the same machine and OH HEY.

quarter aces gold coast 2

I feel like I was only in this casino for like fifteen minutes. And I won $500.  Minus what I put in, and then kept putting in (come on now, you know I did) I netted $400.

I took the free shuttle back to Orleans and stopped at the Player’s Club to use some coupons there.  I have play $10 get $10 from both Las Vegas Advisor and American Casino Guide.  I also have $5 free play from my offer.  I have to do them one at a time. The boothling offers I can come right back to him instead of getting back on the line, which is absurdly long.  I come back and only have to wait for him to finish the person he is currently helping.  Only it is not a person, it is a couple.  Because I guess when he said “next” they both went up instead of one person going up and then the other waiting their turn.  They were up there for so long, asking so many questions.  The female half was carrying an American Casino Guide book which annoyed me because you do not need to carry the book.  Fucking cut the coupons out.  I kept growing more and more impatient.  Finally I get the second coupon loaded and decide to save the third one for tomorrow.

As I am walking away, I am thinking about how much I do not like people.  Of course, this is perfect timing for me to spot some woman who is playing a machine, with her feet up on the chair next to her.  Not like on the bottom of the chair, but on the actual chair so that if anyone wanted to sit, they could not.  She was totally relaxing as if this were a chaise lounge. Did I mention she was not wearing shoes?  Because she wasn’t.  I guess she mistook the casino for her living room.  I lost it.  I gestured towards her fucking disgusting feet and told her “YOU ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING” and kept walking.  Then I decided to go back and take her photo, just to be a complete fucking dick.  But as I turned around, I saw her with her feet back under her own chair, where they belong.  She was in the middle of putting her shoes back on her feet.  WHICH IS WHERE THEY BELONG.  So I let it go.

I used my $15 free play in my now favorite Double Double Bonus video poker machine and got nothing.  I tried again to play the Keno machine I won $940 on a year ago TODAY and some dude was on it.   I played around a bit and then decided to go to my room.   The hallways here reek of weed.

I did some stuff like not really packed for a move tomorrow, wrote a blog post and then went back down to gamble.  I lost $80 and called it a night.  I was in bed by midnight.

Gambling Day: + 300
Gambling Trip: +380
Miscellaneous: (coffee, cigarettes, bus fare, tips and some more Diet Pepsi): $47.77
Comps used: Orleans hotel stay, $10 dining at Orleans with offer.  I also had a coupon sheet given to me at check in.  The only one I used was 10% off at Java Coast, which saved me $.31 on an iced coffee.

Today’s itinerary.  I did everything on it except go to Cosmopolitan.  I wish I would have done that.  I am going to miss all the Christmas stuff on the Strip since it will likely be gone by the time I get there.  Oh well.

Thursday, December 24, 2015
Breakfast: $10 credit mailer
Orleans ACG play $10 get $10
Orleans LVA play $10 get $10
Orleans $5 freeplay offer
Gold Coast $10 freeplay LVA
Gold Coast 200 points = free ACG
Lunch:
Dinner:
Ellis Island free 200 points ACG
Ellis Island play $10 spin wheel ACG
Ellis Island $10 free play LVA
Ellis Island 10x
Planet Hollywood / Rio 50 points = free buffet
Palms $25 freeplay with 5k points LVA
Palms $50 freeplay with 15k points ACG (or 2k slots)/strong>
Tuscany $10 free play ACG
Hooters play $10 get $10 ACG
Hooters $10 freeplay LVA
 
Cosmopolitan: Artomatic

Las Vegas Trip Report: I Didn’t Go Degenerate (or Did I?)

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Today kicks off a twenty day trip to fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada.  But not before I work a half day, as a reminder of why I need to win eleventy billion dollars and never come back.

That global warming shit meant that I was leaving New York City when it was 70 degrees, and arriving in Las Vegas when it was in the 30’s.  The past couple of years, it has typically been colder in Vegas than back home, but this was a huge first world problem.  I did not want to wear my winter coat in 70 degree weather, I needed it for Vegas.  Luckily, I am an expert packer and not only did I only need a carry on for twenty nights in Vegas, I had enough room in there for my winter coat.  Score!

I was selected for pre-check, which I absolutely love.

I ended up gate checking my bag for free because I wanted to make sure I did not get stuck having to keep my laptop bag under the seat in front of me.  I hate having things under there, I feel like it constricts the flow of oxygen.

My flight was delayed, but it was nowhere near as much doom and gloom as the news was reporting.  I guess all the fog in the city was really messing up flights.  My flight only arrived in Vegas a mere fifteen minutes late.  We had no form of entertainment on this flight, unless you consider an announcement asking if there was a doctor on board, entertainment.  I don’t know what was going on, but whatever it was, caused the flight attendants to have to make several announcements for people to stay in their seats.  I assume it ended fine since we were not met by medical or a coroner upon arrival.  Delta if you are reading this, next time I would prefer an individual television.

Continue reading

My luggage was coming out as I reached the conveyor belt.  Score!  Today I am using Uber for the first time.  If you need to find where to get Uber at Mccarran, allow me to help since signage refuses to do this simple thing.

From Terminal 1 (the old terminal) you take an elevator to the second floor (unless you are not picking up luggage, then you are already on the second floor) and go outside.  You cross the street and take the people mover to the elevator straight ahead and take that to floor 2M.  Uber (and possibly Lyft) pick up in the completely unmarked “shared ride” area.  It was confusing.   Uber isn’t a shared ride.  Adding to it that I don’t know how to use Uber and as I am trying to figure the app out, I am being told my driver is on his way.  But I had not put in a destination.  Aren’t you supposed to?  I don’t know what I am doing HELP. Fortunately, my driver called me instantly and this was not a problem.

I had a $20 credit so my ride to Orleans was free, plus a $5 tip.  I was so pleased.  If I had not had that credit, I would not have taken a cab.  I probably would have taken the bus.

I check in and am given room 1711.  711, good luck!  Orleans has redone their rooms.  The only thing I really noticed was the new couch and chair.  Everything else looks the same to me.

(Please note how cute my cute little stuffed dog is)

orleans hotel Las Vegas Nevada room 1711orleans hotel room 1711 las vegas nevada

I charged my phone for as long as I could stand before NEED TO GO NOW and headed downstairs to gamble.

First stop, new player’s card since mine has gone missing.  Second stop, GAMBLE.  I found a machine who was pretty nice to me.  She gave me Jacks:
quarter jacks double double bonusThen I played A Christmas Story slot machine.  I was here for quite some time.  I finally cashed out with $80.

christmas story slot machine

And in comes typical Las Vegas dysfunction.  Obviously I want to keep gambling, I just got here.  But I am so wiped out that I cannot even think straight any longer. I tell myself that I am here for twenty days.  It is okay. I can go to bed. I think I may do this.  I went to the food court to get dinner to bring back to my room with me.  I stopped and played a Buffalo slot machine and won another $70.  But not before losing $60.  And then another $40.  Oops?  So close to going upstairs a big winner.

I get to my room and I can barely function.   If you have read every trip report I have ever written, you may know how much it grates my last fucking nerve when I do not have a “Do Not Disturb” sign.  OH THE HORROR.  I am so fucking tired.  I don’t want to be woken up by housekeeping.  There is a pad of paper in my room but no pen.  I somehow do not have a pen.  How the fuck do I not have a pen?  Why would I not put a pen in my bag?  There has got to be a pen in my bag. WHY IS THERE NO PEN IN MY BAG. I NEED A PEN.

I am walking around my room looking for anything pen shaped so that I can dip it in freaking leftover ketchup from my dinner and write “DO NOT DISTURB” on a piece of paper.  This is extremely difficult because I can never remember why I got up before I sit back down.  Then I remember and I get mad all over again.

It probably took me about twenty minutes between debating “Should I get dressed and go downstairs and buy a fucking pen to make a fucking sign” like ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, and finally remembering WHY I was standing up, to get this sign made.  In the end, I used my eyeliner.  That pissed me off too because this eyeliner was bought with a Sephora gift certificate.  Imagine my complete shock at walking into Sephora, picking up the first eyeliner I see, handing the cashier a gift card for $25 and discovering that was not enough to cover it.  Are you freaking kidding me?  $30 for fucking eyeliner?   That I am now using as a fucking pen.  Because HATE.

Finally I am all sorted and in bed by 11:00.

Spoiler alert:  When I wake up tomorrow, I stick my hand in my bag to get my itinerary out and the first thing I find is a pen.  Yeargh.

Let’s try and keep track of money, okay?

Gambling Day: + 80
Gambling Trip: +80
Miscellaneous: (Vitamin Water, cigarettes, Diet Pepsi and dinner): $30.64
Comps used: Orleans hotel stay

This was my itinerary for today.   i did everything on it!

Wednesday, December 23, 2015
Arrive: 6:43
Check into Orleans