Tag Archives: video poker

Las Vegas Trip Report: The Morning Dreams Are Made Of

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I am awake at 7:00 at Fremont Hotel in beautiful Downtown Las Vegas.   I love reading the notes I write in the morning.  So much whining about not wanting to go home tomorrow.  It turns out I priced flights home for the next day, so I could stay an extra day.   But they were $200 so nope.  I also wrote if I win $1000, I would buy a new flight home.   I do not remember writing this.  Let’s see how that goes, shall we?

I am out of my room at 8:00.   I count my steps and 41 of them later, I am at the Dunkin Donuts counter.

I decide to try a four game Buffalo slot machine here.  After almost losing $40, I got a $79 bonus.  It was less exciting and way more relieving.

I head over to Binions and right off the bat, look what I got on Cleopatra Keno!  That’s quarters, so $272.50.   Now we’re talking!
Cleopatra Keno 1090 credit win Binions Las Vegas

I walked from here to Main Street Station.  I have never played video poker at their Boar’s Head Bar.   This is a very well known video poker bar.  Guys, it reeks of vomit up there.  Like terribly.  Still I played and hit four of a kind sixes (no photo) and four of a kind tens (photo!)

quarter tens double double bonus video poker main street station

I have this brilliant idea to put the $75 TITO I got here, into a dollar video poker game.   Because I have never gotten a dollar royal and I am overdue.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaand I am still overdue because I hit nothing.

I have a $60 TITO left and I only ventured $40 cash so I am still up $20, despite having just lost $75.  Degenerate math in full effect ova heeeeeeeeeeyah.

I played some Ultimate X Double Double Bonus video poker in nickels.    YAY.

main street station ultimate x 5 x 4 main street station ultimate x queens x 4

I leave here and stop at my California Buffalo on my way back to Binions.  I am totally kicking ass today.

California Las Vegas Buffalo slot machine win 2400 x 4

Buffalo 15520 win

Oh wow!  You guys, I am doing it.  I am having the perfect Las Vegas morning.  This is the greatest thing ever!

I stop and play some Double Double Bonus video poker on quarters . The progressive Royal is $1670.  I want this so very badly but $100 did not get it, so I walk back to Binions.

I play around here a bit and before I know it, I have 40 points to get two swipes for the Motherlode promotion.  The first is for a free gift, the second is for $15 dining credit.  I take that to the coffee shop with me and get a cheese omelet.  The food here is always excellent, even more so when it is free.

It is 11:48 as I eat breakfast.  I am going to do a “cigarette after eating” stop and then go take a nap.

I sat down at a machine that was very nice to me back in March.  I play quarter Double Double Bonus video poker.  First hit:
binions quarter sevensThat glare bothers me.  I could not at all get a photo without it in it.  I  had the same problem back in March.

I keep playing.

And.

Get.

My.

Next.

Hit.

binions royal flush

Now I know what you are thinking.  You are thinking things like “Oh shit, Jennifer hit a Royal Flush!!!”  Well guys, I hate to tell you this, but you are wrong.

See.

I did not get a Royal Flush.

I got a Royal Flush AND ACES WITH A KICKER OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT LOOK AT IT.

quarter aces with kicker Binions Las Vegas

Holding one Ace.  Do you believe this shit?   I could not.  I just sat there gaping at it.

I cashed out for $1600 and went to my room to show my cute little stuffed dog what his mom did.  I also tried taking an obligatory cash spiral photo but i suck at it.  Not only cannot I not master a cool spiral, I only pulled out the Royal winnings and forgot to include the rest.  Oops?

make it rain las vegas

WOW.

And just like that, it is nap time!

Las Vegas Christmas 2016 Trip Report Starts Now!

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If you are a regular here, you know that every year I vow I am done going to Las Vegas.  The more I travel the world, the more I want to keep traveling the world.  Las Vegas takes away from that.   Not even just in time off, but in budget.  If you are a believer that “Las Vegas is the cheapest destination in the world!”, you may want to fact check that.  I am not at all trying to talk anyone else out of not going to Las Vegas.  I would never do that.  But for me personally, having traveled outside of America, I realize that all the times I proudly stated “Las Vegas is the cheapest place on Earth to visit!”, I was mistaken.  It is a cheaper destination in the United States.  And yes, you can win enough to cover your meager costs.  AND YES OF COURSE, if you want to go to Las Vegas ten times a year, then by all means, you should do exactly that.  I however, do not wish to do that.

So why am I going again?  Fate is making me go.

Last January I was supposed to fly to Chicago.  That flight got cancelled because of a blizzard.  I used the flight credit to book a flight to Niagara Falls over the summer.  That flight got cancelled because of a thunderstorm.  I was left with JetBlue credit that needed to be used by the date of the first cancelled flight back in January.  I did not want to take a long trip in January.   Or any trip at all in January.  Why would anyone want to use up their vacation time so early in the year?

But I am a cheap fuck and I could not let that flight credit go.

I already had the week of Christmas off from work.  Now I have a “free” plane ticket.  Then MyVegas* went and put out two night rewards at MGM properties.  Here is my chance to spend two nights at Bellagio for free.  FINE.  I’LL GO.  BUT I WON’T LIKE IT.

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Atlantic City, New Jersey: Full Day of Degenerate Gambling

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I woke up at 6:15 am.  I was tired and thought I should go back to bed, but we all know how this goes, right?  GAMBLE.

I went out to get some iced coffee at Starbucks.  I meant to time the walk, but forgot.  My guess is that it is about ten minutes?   I got a trenta iced coffee (that is a size up from large) and a McDonalds breakfast sandwich and went back to the room….where I immediately dropped my trenta iced coffee.   It landed upside down, which was good in that it didn’t all spill out since the top was on it.  But was bad because it made the straw shatter and there were a million tiny green plastic pieces now floating in my coffee.  No no no no no no no no noooooooooooooooooooo.  NOT MY TRENTA ICED COFFEE YOU BASTARD.

UGH.

DEATH.

NO.

BAH.

BAD.

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Las Vegas Trip Report: The Day I Forfeit Seeing One of My Favorite Bands, to Play Video Poker

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Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that I am posting for the entertainment of Las Vegas addicts and anyone else who loves fun.  It was written back in 2005.  Most of this information is now outdated and some places mentioned no longer exist.

Thursday, June 9, 2005 – Day Five of Ten

I woke up at the California hotel, very sick again.   My head weighed 834783 pounds.   But I force myself out of bed at around 7:00 am and go out to my vacation.  Breakfast is at the Main Street Station buffet, great as always.   I play some nickel video poker and win $70.   Why haven’t I tried this sooner?

Get back to the room and take some cold medicine and nap.

Go back out at 3:00 and get a Binions burger.  Play a bit and just lose.  Lose lose lose lose lose.   And lose.

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Las Vegas Memory Lane Trip Report: My First Time Playing Video Poker!

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Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that I am posting for the entertainment of Las Vegas addicts and anyone else who loves fun.  It was written back in 2005.  Most of this information is now outdated and some places mentioned no longer exist.

Monday – June 6, 2005 – Day Two of Ten

I wake up, exhausted and hey look – I have no voice.  None.  Awesome!   Head to the San Remo buffet.  Raw eggs, gross coffee.  Good bacon though.

Hit the slots again.  Won and put it alllllll back.  Typical.

Check out, grab my stuff and head to Caesars where I am staying tonight.  I get room 5202 in the Centurion tower.  What a nice room.   [2014 called, it wants you to know that I had to double check to make sure these pictures weren’t mislabeled.  This room is so outdated that I feel obligated to remind you that these pictures are nine years old and the rooms no longer look like this.]  The bathroom has a separate shower stall and tub.  It also has fancy schmany bottles of artesian water from Norway.    There is a television in the bathroom.    There is a fake balcony outside my window.

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