Tag Archives: video poker

Las Vegas Trip Report: the Morning Dreams Are Made Of

I am awake at 7:00 at Fremont Hotel in beautiful Downtown Las Vegas.   I love reading the notes I write in the morning.  So much whining about not wanting to go home tomorrow.  It turns out I priced flights home for the next day, so I could stay an extra day.   But they were $200 so nope.  I also wrote if I win $1000, I would buy a new flight home.   I do not remember writing this.  Let’s see how that goes, shall we?

I am out of my room at 8:00.   I count my steps and 41 of them later, I am at the Dunkin Donuts counter.

I decide to try a four game Buffalo slot machine here.  After almost losing $40, I got a $79 bonus.  It was less exciting and way more relieving.

I head over to Binions and right off the bat, look what I got on Cleopatra Keno!  That’s quarters, so $272.50.   Now we’re talking!
Cleopatra Keno 1090 credit win Binions Las Vegas

I walked from here to Main Street Station.  I have never played video poker at their Boar’s Head Bar.   This is a very well known video poker bar.  Guys, it reeks of vomit up there.  Like terribly.  Still I played and hit four of a kind sixes (no photo) and four of a kind tens (photo!)

quarter tens double double bonus video poker main street station

I have this brilliant idea to put the $75 TITO I got here, into a dollar video poker game.   Because I have never gotten a dollar royal and I am overdue.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaand I am still overdue because I hit nothing.

I have a $60 TITO left and I only ventured $40 cash so I am still up $20, despite having just lost $75.  Degenerate math in full effect ova heeeeeeeeeeyah.

I played some Ultimate X Double Double Bonus video poker in nickels.    YAY.

main street station ultimate x 5 x 4 main street station ultimate x queens x 4

I leave here and stop at my California Buffalo on my way back to Binions.  I am totally kicking ass today.

California Las Vegas Buffalo slot machine win 2400 x 4

Buffalo 15520 win

Oh wow!  You guys, I am doing it.  I am having the perfect Las Vegas morning.  This is the greatest thing ever!

I stop and play some Double Double Bonus video poker on quarters . The progressive Royal is $1670.  I want this so very badly but $100 did not get it, so I walk back to Binions.

I play around here a bit and before I know it, I have 40 points to get two swipes for the Motherlode promotion.  The first is for a free gift, the second is for $15 dining credit.  I take that to the coffee shop with me and get a cheese omelet.  The food here is always excellent, even more so when it is free.

It is 11:48 as I eat breakfast.  I am going to do a “cigarette after eating” stop and then go take a nap.

I sat down at a machine that was very nice to me back in March.  I play quarter Double Double Bonus video poker.  First hit:
binions quarter sevensThat glare bothers me.  I could not at all get a photo without it in it.  I  had the same problem back in March.

I keep playing.

And.

Get.

My.

Next.

Hit.

binions royal flush

Now I know what you are thinking.  You are thinking things like “Oh shit, Jennifer hit a Royal Flush!!!”  Well guys, I hate to tell you this, but you are wrong.

See.

I did not get a Royal Flush.

I got a Royal Flush AND ACES WITH A KICKER OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT LOOK AT IT.

quarter aces with kicker Binions Las Vegas

Holding one Ace.  Do you believe this shit?   I could not.  I just sat there gaping at it.

I cashed out for $1600 and went to my room to show my cute little stuffed dog what his mom did.  I also tried taking an obligatory cash spiral photo but i suck at it.  Not only cannot I not master a cool spiral, I only pulled out the Royal winnings and forgot to include the rest.  Oops?

make it rain las vegas

WOW.

And just like that, it is nap time!

Las Vegas Christmas 2016 Trip Report Starts Now!

If you are a regular here, you know that every year I vow I am done going to Las Vegas.  The more I travel the world, the more I want to keep traveling the world.  Las Vegas takes away from that.   Not even just in time off, but in budget.  If you are a believer that “Las Vegas is the cheapest destination in the world!”, you may want to fact check that.  I am not at all trying to talk anyone else out of not going to Las Vegas.  I would never do that.  But for me personally, having traveled outside of America, I realize that all the times I proudly stated “Las Vegas is the cheapest place on Earth to visit!”, I was mistaken.  It is a cheaper destination in the United States.  And yes, you can win enough to cover your meager costs.  AND YES OF COURSE, if you want to go to Las Vegas ten times a year, then by all means, you should do exactly that.  I however, do not wish to do that.

So why am I going again?  Fate is making me go.

Last January I was supposed to fly to Chicago.  That flight got cancelled because of a blizzard.  I used the flight credit to book a flight to Niagara Falls over the summer.  That flight got cancelled because of a thunderstorm.  I was left with JetBlue credit that needed to be used by the date of the first cancelled flight back in January.  I did not want to take a long trip in January.   Or any trip at all in January.  Why would anyone want to use up their vacation time so early in the year?

But I am a cheap fuck and I could not let that flight credit go.

I already had the week of Christmas off from work.  Now I have a “free” plane ticket.  Then MyVegas* went and put out two night rewards at MGM properties.  Here is my chance to spend two nights at Bellagio for free.  FINE.  I’LL GO.  BUT I WON’T LIKE IT.

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Except I will!

*Note to self:  Can you please use your “I am going to be a good blogger!” energy towards making a static page about MyVegas so that you do not have to explain it every time?   No?  Fine, I’ll explain it again.

For those of you who randomly stumbled on this blog, MyVegas is a game on Facebook where you play slot games and earn a thing called Loyalty Points. You then can exchange those Loyalty Points for things like free food, free shows and free hotel stays.  You can also play on mobile, but since I have a Windows phone, I am not going to be very helpful with that.  Actually, I am not going to be helpful at all with anything ever because I am going to stop typing about this and go back to my trip report.

So here we are, getting ready to leave for a surprise trip.  I booked the Bellagio nights.  I booked two comped nights at Orleans.  I booked two nights at Four Queens, using Hotwire credit from last year when I stayed at a hotel that advertised having a casino, but the casino was closed.  Then I booked a three night comp at California.   And of course, I ended up redoing everything and added in one MyVegas night at Red Rock, and one MyVegas night at Green Valley Ranch.

I am all ready to go!  My packing skills have improved like crazy.  The big Las Vegas themed bag in the back is what I used to use for two week trips to Las Vegas.  The pink one on the left in the front is what I currently use for month long trips overseas.  The teeny tiny purple one?  That is what I used on this ten night trip.  I also managed to fit my winter coat in there.  Aren’t I queen of packing light?
las-vegas-luggage-top-view

And then it starts.

The weather.

The mother fucking weather.

JetBlue starts announcing that they are allowing people who are scheduled to fly in and out of JFK on Wednesday and Thursday, the opportunity to change their flights for free, due to possible weather related interruptions in service.  I am leaving on Friday. I decide that if Friday is added to this, I will leave a day early.  I let my job know, I book a “comped” night at Ballys (paying the resort fee, fuck you) and sit back and watch.

Nothing.

Until.

On Thursday night, JetBlue adds Friday to the dates you can change your flight for free.

Reminder: I am booked on a flight to Las Vegas only because two previous flights were cancelled for weather.  To say I am a bit rattled about the possibility that this will happen a third time, is an understatement.

Thursday night after the last flight to Las Vegas has left NYC, JetBlue adds Friday as an option to rebook your flight for free.  If this had happened a few hours sooner, I would be on a Thursday night flight.  But no, it happens after the last flight on Thursday leaves.

I consider changing my flight for Friday night to Friday morning.  This would mean missing work (YAY) but I cannot do that because I left some stuff behind that I would need to take care of. I didn’t do this before leaving because I thought I was in the clear if they weren’t doing voluntary changes when I left on Thursday afternoon.  So I leave everything as is, and head to work with my fingers crossed so tightly I think I may have lost circulation.

I leave work on Friday to catch my flight.  I get off the subway and onto the AirTrain and check my email.  There is an email from JetBlue.  “Important information regarding your flight.”  My heart drops.

I try bargaining with fate.  “If you let me get to Vegas, I will not gamble tonight.”  Then I start reasoning with fate “Okay I am going to gamble, but only $20.” to “You know what?  Fucking fuck you Fate, I am going to Las Vegas TO gamble.  Who the fuck are you to fucking tell me what I can and cannot do?  Go eat a fucking dick.” And back to “I am sorry Fate, I am just really anxious because if my flight is cancelled, I will just DIE.  And I do not want to die.”

Then I read the email.  WOO!  My flight is only delayed, not cancelled!

We landed at least two hours late.  As I am exiting my row and I see a quarter on the aisle dude’s now vacant seat.  Score! I haven’t even gotten off the plane and I am up $.25!

We arrived so late that all the shuttle companies are closed.  The last WAX bus is long gone.  The 108 is probably done for the night.   The 109 is running, but then I have to wait for the 109 AND for the 201.  God dammit, I don’t want to.

My only choice to get to my hotel is a cab.  My credit card on Uber is expired and I really don’t feel like fixing that right now.  Lyft, forget it.  They do not have an app compatible with Windows phones.  So cab it is.  I do not remember the last time I afforded myself the luxury of a cab.  $24 later, I am checked into the Orleans.

I get a room at the end of the hallway.  It is also one of those weirdo rooms that you sometimes get in hotels with many floors.  Where for whatever reason, when  you close the room door, it creates a whooshing noise.  Open the door, silence.  Close the door, whooooooooosssshhhhhhhhhh.   If there is an engineer reading this, who would like to explain this to me, please do so.

I drop my stuff and get ready to go downstairs and gamble.

There is a short cut to get from the hotel to the food court.  You walk outside instead of going through the casino. Tonight I actually took it for the first time ever.  Holy shit, why have I  been walking all the way through the entire casino for all these years!??

I sit down and put a $20 into a machine.   And I get this:

orleans-threes-with-kicker

$200 win.  Almost immediately.  What a great way to start off.  I decide to play down to $200 and go to bed with my winnings.  It is REALLY late, and I have plenty of time left to lose it.  After all, I just arrived and still have nine more full days!

One thing I should probably mention…the quarter I found on the plane?  Well when I was getting ready to go gamble, I found it in my pocket. I took a couple of seconds to question whether or not I was going to do this, before I did.  I put it in my bra for good luck.  Why did I do this?  Because I read this trip report shortly before leaving where the author put her lucky change in her bra and she won. So obviously, I must do this too.  And that is how I ended up winning $200.  And that is also how I ended up carrying this quarter around in my bra for the next nine days.  Sigh.

Atlantic City, New Jersey: Full Day of Degenerate Gambling

I woke up at 6:15 am.  I was tired and thought I should go back to bed, but we all know how this goes, right?  GAMBLE.

I went out to get some iced coffee at Starbucks.  I meant to time the walk, but forgot.  My guess is that it is about ten minutes?   I got a trenta iced coffee (that is a size up from large) and a McDonalds breakfast sandwich and went back to the room….where I immediately dropped my trenta iced coffee.   It landed upside down, which was good in that it didn’t all spill out since the top was on it.  But was bad because it made the straw shatter and there were a million tiny green plastic pieces now floating in my coffee.  No no no no no no no no noooooooooooooooooooo.  NOT MY TRENTA ICED COFFEE YOU BASTARD.

UGH.

DEATH.

NO.

BAH.

BAD.

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So anyway.  After eating my breakfast with no iced coffee, I took a shower and headed downstairs to use my Caesars $10 free play.  I also had a promotional offer to swipe my card and get a multiplier on points.  Of course, zero of the kiosks were working, and the Total Rewards Center was not yet open.   Of course.  So I played anyway, because degenerate could not wait until later.  Fortunately, I hit this:
ultimate x video poker quad twos x 2I took the Jitney, to The Borgata.  The Boragata actually has a Starbucks, so I got to get another coffee.  But I still will forever mourn my OG dead coffee.  RIP OG dead iced coffee.  I miss you.

I had $10 free play here, from a mailer and also $10 from MyVegas.  I stopped to get the MyVegas free play loaded, and the woman at the booth let me know I had $10 more, which I already knew…but we’ll get back to this in a minute.

I tried to use the free play on a quarter Cleopatra Keno and nope, it will not let me.  So I play $20 through and then try again.  Now it lets me.  But it is only showing I have $10, not $20.  Maybe I have to play the $10 and then I can get the other $10?  Nope.  Nothing I do will make the second $10 show up.  Back to the booth I go.  She confirms she can still see $10 available on my account and suggests maybe I use the slot machines near the booth since “they usually work pretty well.”  Um, shouldn’t ALL the machines work pretty well?  Or even maybe just the one that let me use my first $10?  How annoying.   I ended up losing the $10 on some crappy slot I played just because it let me download the free play.

Then I went back to Cleopatra Keno.  I kept doubling $20 bills on here.  It was so cool.  I love this game and it has been a long time since I have actually won playing.  I won enough that I was able to play nickel Ultimate X video poker.  The machines here do not let you choose hands so you must play a minimum of five hands, which is 50 coins per game = $2.50 on five play nickels.  My first nice hit was this:

ultimate x video poker borgata atlantic city

Shortly after, I hit this, which seems really cool.  But I felt like had JUST sat down to play and wanted to play.  I didn’t want to cash out and not play.  So I played down to 1200 credits = $60.

ultimate x borgata 990 win

As I was cashing out, I noticed a game named Carnival in Rio.   I thought “Hey!  I want to go to Rio!  I should play that!  So I did.  And I hit a $205.60 bonus.  Sweet!

carnival in rio slot machine win atlantic city

I left Bogata up $100.  Then I took the Jitney to Trump Taj Mahal.

6tag_280416-123537I lost $40 on video poker but then won $80 on a Buffalo slot machine so I was up.   When I was in Las Vegas in December, the bulk of my wins were on Keno and Buffalo slots.  This is not supposed to happen, video poker is where it is supposed to happen.   Guess I got lucky!

Once here, I got my $20 free play and $20 dining credit from my Groupon.  I was told I could just charge my meals to the room and the $20 would be taken off when I checked out.  Great!  But I am not staying here?  I ended up with a voucher.

I get a large iced coffee from the Dunkin Donuts in Resorts.  Every casino should have one of these.  So good.

I turned my $20 free play into $50 on nickel Supertimes Pay video poker.  Then I lost the $50.  Then I lost $20 cash.  Then I decided to stop playing and eat.  I wanted to try their new restaurant, Burger Bar, but it does not open until 4:00 and it is not even 3:00 yet.  So I went to Breadsticks cafe, which has now moved upstairs to make room for Margaritaville downstairs.

I sit down, place my order and never see my server again.  I played on my phone, including taking a photo of this tram going down the boardwalk. I have never see this before:

atlantic city boardwalk tram

Rainy Boardwalk:

atlantic city new jersey rainy boardwalk

I play some more on my phone, check Facebook, respond to an email.  I get bored and start writing in my journal.  Finish that and realize that the couple next to me, who were seated after me, are now on desert and my burger is still not here.  Quick check of the time and it is 3:45.  I have been here for 45 minutes.  Where is my food?

Another server asks me if someone is helping me.  I say yes because the answer is yes.  I should have elaborated that while I do have a server who took my order, I haven’t seen her in 45 minutes.  The next time he passes by, I do say this.  He then goes in the back and out pops my server with my burger and fries, which have been sitting somewhere for all this time, as they are now cold.

I am starving, I eat the cold burger.  The second server comes over and apologizes to me, tells me the first server had gone on lunch.  But it is okay, he is going to be helping me now.  I tell him that my food was sitting somewhere, show him the cold fries.  He offers me new fries, I tell him I have already been here over an hour, please give me my check.   He does.

I obviously do not want to tip.  But now that I have a new server, do I have to tip?  I don’t know the protocol and I do not want server #1 to get a tip so I don’t leave one.  Sorry server #2 but I am not taking any chances here.

I leave and walk past Burger Bar, where I originally wanted to eat.  It is now after 4:00 so they are open.  Sigh.

I  walk back to Caesars in the rain.  I stopped at Ballys to use my $10 free play and lost that and a $20.  Over to Caesars where I did the promotional swipe to get a multiplier on my points today and got a 10x. I also had this promotion available at Ballys but I had forgotten and was not going to go back.

I take a nap and when I wake up, I am not sure what to do.   It is 8:00 pm, I do have $100 left for today’s gambling budget.   This is shocking after the beating I took at Resorts.  I want to go back to Borgata.  But maybe I shouldn’t.  $100 could go in five minutes, do I really want to go all the way there for five minutes?  What’s to stop me from going degenerate if I lose all my money before I finish an iced coffee?  Maybe I should just stay here.  But gambling.  But you can have an extra $100 for tomorrow if you don’t go.  BUT GAMBLING.

I flipped a coin and it told me that I should stay in my room.   Oh yeah?  Screw you stupid penny on tails, you can’t tell me what to do.  You’re not my real mom.

And off to Borgata I went.

I wanted to play Cleopatra Keno so bad but obviously, all four of them were occupied.  I tried playing the bank behind them and lost $40.  Cleopatra Keno was still occupied.

I walk past the Carnival in Rio machine I won $200 on earlier, and it takes my money.  I walk back to Cleopatra Keno, still occupied.

I walk further into the casino.  Guys, Borgata’s casino is so enormous.  You can walk forever in here.  And I did.   Until  I found a four game slot machine, where you can pick the four games  you play.  I don’t remember what I started on, but I was losing. So I ended up moving down to two games of Buffalo and then this happened:

buffalo slot machine borgata atlantic city 33440 win

Sweet!

I cash out and try to walk back to Cleopatra Keno.  This took so long because I got so lost.  I had no clue where i was for at least twenty minutes.  Finally I got my bearings and made it back to Cleopatra Keno.  Still occupied.

I go back out and play some video poker.  I saw a guy waiting for a handpay, he had hit a Royal Flush on Ultimate X with a 2x multiplier = $2000.  I did not hit anything.

Back to Cleopatra Keno.  STILL OCCUPIED.

I tried to find the Buffalo game I won on and could not find it.  I didn’t know where I was when I was playing it, I most certainly do not know where I am now.  Where am I?  Why is this casino so HUGE?  Oh my god, is there like a trick door and I am in another casino and just don’t know it?  I walked all over just half an hour ago and none of this looks familiar.  Oh hey there’s a different Buffalo slot machine yay!  And then this happens:

buffalo slot machine 34450 win borgata atlantic city

Seriously guys.  Slot machines have terrible pay outs yet Buffalo keeps paying me.  I want to play Buffalo slots now and forever.

I cash out and try and find Cleopatra Keno again.  I managed to accidentally happen upon Starbucks so I had a guide.  Back to Cleopatra Keno.  STILL FUCKING OCCUPIED.  ARGH.

I play a couple of slots, nothing.  I check Cleopatra Keno, still occupied.  I sit down at Ultimate X and play this for a bit, losing money.  I start to put another $20 in, then realize I only have one $20 bill left.  The rest of my money is in hundreds.  I need to either break another hundred, or leave NOW with this last $20 as I need it to buy something to drink on my way to the room.

I start reasoning with myself.  Dude, you are throwing money away just so you can throw more money away if those people ever leave the Cleopatra Keno machines you are stalking.  Stop being such a fucking idiot.  You know what, I am right.  I will stop.  I get up, start to walk to the Jitney, which is a course that takes me past Cleopatra Keno…where holy fucking shit, SOMEONE IS GETTING UP FROM ONE OF THE MACHINES!!!!  WHEEEEE!  GET OUT AND STAY OUT.

I sit down.  I play.  I hit a bonus, I win $400.  BAM.

I cash that out,  I go to put another $20 in and remember I have no more $20’s left.  So I cash out knowing that if I leave to break a bill and come back, this machine will be taken.  And I am okay with that.

I leave Borgata with $700.  Not too shabby.

While waiting for the Jitney, I saw this ad lit up on Golden Nugget across the way.  Chachi.  I have no idea if this is a current celebrity, but I hope as all hell it is Scott Baio coming out on stage with a handkerchief tied around his thigh.

chachi

I went back to Caesars and decided to let myself go nutso with $100.  I do have a 10x multiplier on points, plus I am a degenerate.  It took me hours to lose that $100.  I kept going between Buffalo, Supertimes Pay video poker and Ultimate X video poker.

Bed time!

Las Vegas Trip Report: The Day I Forfeit Seeing One of My Favorite Bands, to Play Video Poker

Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that I am posting for the entertainment of Las Vegas addicts and anyone else who loves fun.  It was written back in 2005.  Most of this information is now outdated and some places mentioned no longer exist.

Thursday, June 9, 2005 – Day Five of Ten

I woke up at the California hotel, very sick again.   My head weighed 834783 pounds.   But I force myself out of bed at around 7:00 am and go out to my vacation.  Breakfast is at the Main Street Station buffet, great as always.   I play some nickel video poker and win $70.   Why haven’t I tried this sooner?

Get back to the room and take some cold medicine and nap.

Go back out at 3:00 and get a Binions burger.  Play a bit and just lose.  Lose lose lose lose lose.   And lose.

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As it so happens, one of my favorite bands ever are on tour and they are playing Las Vegas TONIGHT!  A well needed break from this afternoon’s losses.  Before getting ready for the show, I take a walk to Walgreens to buy mascara since I forgot to bring mine somehow.   On the way back I stop at Fremont to play $5 on nickel video poker.   I can’t stop doubling my $5 bills.  So I ended up here for hours and hours and hours and never did go the show.

Fremont Hotel and Casino Las Vegas

On the way back to the California, I stopped at the Plaza and played nickel video poker and then started playing quarters.  I got a straight flush!   This was so exciting!   I cashed out with $110.   Woooooo!

Fremont Street Experience:
Fremont Street Experience Las Vegas LG logo records Fremont Street Experience Las Vegas lips Fremont Street Experience Las Vegas woman[I won’t lie, I am horrified at how bad most of my pictures were back in 2005.   There are so many that by the time I straighten them out and crop out all the unnecessary things in them, they are postage stamp sized.]

PS: I published tomorrow’s trip report a while back, when Downtown Grand opened.  It features a stay at Lady Luck.  If you missed it, you can check it out here

Las Vegas Memory Lane Trip Report: My First Time Playing Video Poker!

Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that I am posting for the entertainment of Las Vegas addicts and anyone else who loves fun.  It was written back in 2005.  Most of this information is now outdated and some places mentioned no longer exist.

Monday – June 6, 2005 – Day Two of Ten

I wake up, exhausted and hey look – I have no voice.  None.  Awesome!   Head to the San Remo buffet.  Raw eggs, gross coffee.  Good bacon though.

Hit the slots again.  Won and put it alllllll back.  Typical.

Check out, grab my stuff and head to Caesars where I am staying tonight.  I get room 5202 in the Centurion tower.  What a nice room.   [2014 called, it wants you to know that I had to double check to make sure these pictures weren’t mislabeled.  This room is so outdated that I feel obligated to remind you that these pictures are nine years old and the rooms no longer look like this.]  The bathroom has a separate shower stall and tub.  It also has fancy schmany bottles of artesian water from Norway.    There is a television in the bathroom.    There is a fake balcony outside my window.

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Caesars Las Vegas room picture bedCaesars Las Vegas room seating areaCaesars Las Vegas toiletriesCaesars Las Vegas room bathroom counterCaesars Las Vegas room view

I head downstairs to gamble.   I try the Star Wars slots I’ve read about and lose.   Maybe another $20 will do the trick.   No.  How about another one.  Still no?  Okay screw you.  Terminator slots!   Hey, why can’t I get anything?  Not even a bonus?  Nothing?  Maybe even three dogs?  Please?  No?  Well screw you too.

I head over to a video poker machine.   As you may recall, on this trip I will be playing video poker for my very first time.   The pay table isn’t that great, but who cares.  I want to TRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY video poker.  So I do.  I get up to a whopping $52.   Yay!   I cash out and go back to the room.    It’s about 2:00 in the afternoon.  I’m still exhausted, I still have no voice and I feel like crap.   I take a nap.   That lasted for SEVENTEEN hours.  I did not wake up until 7:00 am.    So hey, now I’ve lost two nights in Vegas.   Great!