I flew to Xi’an from Guilin.   At the airport, I was doing a combination of trying to stop sweating and silently willing everyone who was staring at me to STOP STARING AT ME.

We had a meal served to us on the plane.  I could not identify it so I did not eat it.   As we were about halfway through our flight, there was an announcement that I had never heard in real life before:  “Is there a doctor on board?”   YIKES.   The very young looking woman in front of me stood up to help. If she is old enough to be a doctor, then I am old enough to live in a nursing home.  I don’t really know what was going on because other than the initial announcement, there was no English spoken regarding what was going on.

Arrival in Xi’an.  UGH.  I need to buy a lighter (yes, smoking is gross) and there is nothing open in the airport.  I go outside to take a cab to my hotel.  No cabs will let me get in.  There are about eleventy billion cabs outside.  Approximately five lanes worth of cabs, all going back way so far that I cannot see the end of the lanes.   Every cab I tried to get in told me “NO.”  What do you mean, NO?  I’ll show YOU no.

I basically just stood in the middle of traffic (all cabs mind you) screaming about how “I NEED A FREAKING CAB.  I AM FROM NEW YORK, YOU CAN’T GET AWAY WITH THIS” and “I WILL STAND HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF TRAFFIC FLAILING MY ARMS UNTIL ONE OF YOU LETS ME GET IN YOUR CAB.  LET ME SEE YOU STARE AT THAT, MOTHER FUCKERS!”

It didn’t work.

I went and stood to the side and smoked a cigarette before trying again.  This time I scored a cab driver who let me in the cab.  It was so hot in the cab so I opened the window and ahhhhhhh, cool breeze!  The driver then instructs me to close the window.  I assume he is going to turn on the air conditioning.  I was wrong.  Hot.

The driver got completely lost looking for my hotel and never turned off the meter.  He ended up leaving me not really at my hotel at all, but pointing in the general direction.   He also did not give me change.   The cab cost $87 Yuan ($14.22 USD) and I gave him $100 Yuan ($16.35) and he drove off.  I don’t really care about two bucks.  It’s the principal.  I had a cab driver in Guilin chase me down to hand me 2 Yuan (32 cents).

Mind you, all of this is my own fault because I should have just taken public transportation.

i check into my hostel:  Ancient City International Youth Hostel.  I am booked in a private room.  I have a cute room which is a decent size for China.  Everyone who works at this hostel is incredibly nice and they all speak English.  The room actually has American outlets, you rule.  I also like the WHEN you get trapped” as opposed to “if.”

When I get into my room, I check my email.  There is an email from my bank regarding suspicious activity.  The email has a reference number, and they ask me to call them.  I get instantly furious.  I told my bank before I left that I was going to China.  My bank is forever contacting me for suspicious activity.   I know, I should be grateful they look out for me.  But being that I have dealt with this so many times, I know how long this phone call is going to take.  Not to mention, I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING TO CHINA.

So I call my bank.  FROM CHINA.  They ask for the reference number from the email, I give it to them.  Then there is a verifying that I am me part.  This is long because they ask you about ten questions.  Then there is the “Let’s go over your most recent charges” part.  I had to cut her off and yell about how much this phone call is costing me because I am calling from China, which is where I told you I was going to be, using my debit card.  She then tells me that she sees the travel alert but does not see anything about them contacting me.  Well you did.  You know, like when I first got on the phone with you, I gave you a reference number which is how you looked up my account to begin with.

Finally this conversation ends.

I walk around the corner to 7-11 and stock up on milk tea and I buy this, without any clue what it is, because THIS:

It turns out he had custard inside.

I am so mentally exhausted.  Between the whole “no cab at the airport will take me” to “It is SO HOT INSIDE THIS CAB” to “let me argue with my bank” I am just done.   Even the cute little custard pig cannot cheer me up.  I fall asleep instantly.