Category Archives: Life in New York City

“Oh you are from new York? Were you there on September 11?”

I have been asked this quite a few times in my life. Exactly two months after the towers fell, I was in Las Vegas.  When you are a gambler, you sign up for player’s cards at casinos and earn comps.  There are a lot of casinos in Las Vegas.  I showed my ID to people a lot of times.  Every time, I got asked about it.   After that trip, it died down a bit.  Then I started going to Europe and it began all over again.  Every European who has ever asked me about it, has done so with the most sincere look of interest on their face, as if I am about to expound a fascinating firsthand account of that day.   I hate to disappoint them by telling them that while yes, I was indeed here on that date, you saw more than I did.   Including the collapse of the North Tower, which had a television antenna on top of it.  While you were watching the tower collapse on your television screen, you were watching the antenna that gave me television reception collapse as well. 911_collapse Continue reading

What’s It Like Living in New York City? Rant #2 AND Rant #2.5 – Canal Street Train Station

The Canal Street train station is located on…Canal Street in Chinatown.  There used to be a venue here called The Knitting Factory, which has since moved to Brooklyn.  But for many years, it was located a few blocks from this train station.

The Knitting Factory had shows that started at reasonable times, and as such, ended at reasonable times.  This should have been a plus, but the MTA does not like its riders having any positive advantages, so they made sure to turn this positive into a negative.

Case in point, the sign located on the N train platform that reads “Late nights, N runs on local track”.

Okay great.  But WHAT TIME is “late night”?  Was this sign made up by a youngster for whom getting home and into bed by midnight was a regular occurrence and not exactly “late night”?  Was it made by a suburban housewife for whom staying in “the city” past sunset was “late night”?  Who knows?  Certainly not anyone who would need to know.  Like me, who needed to know in order to get home.

Many nights, I would be leaving The Knitting Factory…let’s say around 10:00 pm-ish.  Is this “late night”?  How am I supposed to know if I should be waiting for my train here or on the local track?  And where exactly is the local track?  Well let’s find out, shall we?

In order to get to the local track from this platform, you must first walk up 21 steps.  Then you walk up a little bit of a hallway, then down 23 more steps, through an underground tunnel, then up 25 steps and there you go – you are on the local track.

Now if you are reading this and thinking “so you are complaining about having to walk  up 21 steps, up a little bit of a hallway, then down 23 more steps, through an underground tunnel, then up 25 steps? That doesn’t sound very far you lazy piece of shit”.  NO . THAT IS NOT THE PROBLEM ASSHOLE.

Continue reading

What’s it Like Living in New York City? Rant #1 – Barclays Center

I have decided to take advantage of the fact that i live in New York City and do some posts about it.  While I intend to post some nice things about living in New York at some point, that point will not be today.

Today I will be ranting about Barclays Center.  I hate this thing.  It is New York City’s brand new arena, located in Downtown Brooklyn. It can hold up to 19,000 people.  It has been open less than a year now.

Barclays Center, Brooklyn, NY Barclays Center, Brooklyn, NY

I honestly do not know if this thing is painted a rust color or if it was made out of cheap metal that rusted.  For the intent and purpose of HATE, I am going to act like I know for a fact that it is the latter.

This rusted out piece of crap was built right at a major transportation hub.  Not only do many subway lines stop here, it is also a stop on the Long Island Railroad – which is the commuter rail between New York and you guessed it – Long Island.  The Long Island Railroad is also what us Brooklynites are expected to take to JFK Airport.  It is only fifteen minutes to the JFK Airtrain from this stop.

Sounds good right?  WRONG.

Continue reading