If you somehow landed on this page and would like to reach this Las Vegas trip report from the beginning, you can go HERE.

I wake up at Harrahs at 6:47 AM.   I really need to cut the internet out of my life because I wasted an hour doing nothing.

I went down and got Starbucks.  There were 37 people in line in front of me.  Fucking kill me.

I played some single line Ultimate X / Double SuperTimes Pay and hit 3s.  YAY.

Walked over to Mirage to use my MyKonami free play.   The first machine I tried kept telling me that my balance was too low to play it.  Fuck you.

Second machine took both my free play and $20 of my hard earned cash.

I went over to Happy Prosperous.   Sometimes I like to randomly hit max bet.  Not often.  But sometimes.  I did this on the first spin and got the bonus.   Holy shit I am going to be rich!

Not so much.

Breakfast was at The Pantry, aka Hell on Earth.  There is a cheerleading competition going on in Vegas this weekend and there are so many overly hyped kids all over the damned place.  I sat at the bar, and the only seat was at the end, next to the to go order spot.  So people are whizzing in and out, and putting their bags in my personal space.

The food here is excellent but every single time I come here, I am never given cream, sugar or a spoon for my coffee and when I asked, I am only given one or two of these things.  Never all three.  Today was not an exception.

After eating, I went to take some photos.  I really love everything about this hotel except that it is non smoking.  I keep thinking I should have one more stay before Hard Rock takes over, but I have yet to book it.

Here is a Christmas tree.  Pretty!

Except that with the cheerleaders, I had a hard time getting a photo.  So many of them taking photos.  It didn’t matter that I was standing there, people kept running in front of me for photos.  And acting like it is an actual photo shoot.  So many poses, let’s switch out people in the photos, hey let’s try a dozen cheerleading posts with my doll!

After the 7th or 8th time I hold my camera up to get a photo and have kids run into my photo, I get visibly exasperated.  The mom who’s kids were my final straw sees my exasperation and she gets exasperated at me for being exasperated, which makes me even more exasperated and we launched into a round robin of yelling “NO, YOU GO” at each other.  Except that I can’t go because her fucking crotch fruit are still standing in front of the fucking tree.  I tell her that I don’t want a fucking photo of her kids so I can’t go because they are still blocking the tree. She screams at me “THEY ARE MOVING RIGHT NOW!!!!”  Jesus fucking christ.  Merry fucking Christmas.

I get my photo and I am too annoyed to play anything so I cash out my TITO and go outside.

I have a Keno ticket to cash in at Harrahs but they do not open until 12:00 and it is only 11:30.  So I play some Buffalo inside Casino Royale, which is where I discover that cheerleading mom is actually a witch, who cast a spell on me, causing me to lose all my money.  I should have punched her when I had the chance.

Back to Harrahs where I can now cash in my Keno ticket.  As I am walking up, the woman is talking to me, telling me she was watching my numbers.  I play 1-9 and she remembered and she said she kept rooting for me.  Considering she started these sentence before I even handed her my ticket,  I was inclined to believe her.  I won $53 on the 101 games I played.  I played 50 more, and tipped her $3.

Back to the room at 12:15.

I try to nap but I can’t even though I am very tired.   I watch Keno on the television to see if I am winning. I am not.

I cannot decide what to do tonight.  There are too many people in Las Vegas.  I don’t want to be on the Strip.  Getting off the Strip seems like a hassle.  Uber is surging, it is freezing outside and I don’t know that I want to be waiting for a bus to get to an off Strip casino.  There’s always Downtown, but I’ll be there tomorrow.

I decide to ask the random name picker where to go.  I put in Luxor, Downtown Grand, Arizona Charlies Decatur, Orleans and Ellis Island.  It tells me to go to Luxor.  Cool, I should probably prep myself for how packed the bus will be.

God damn.  I get in the elevator to go downstairs and a man in the elevator just starts screaming “HOW ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?”  Obviously I just ignore him and stare at the door, he is behind me.  Doesn’t stop him.  He begins screaming some more about how he is getting ready for the cheerleading competition.  Okay cool, save some energy for it.

By the time we get to the casino, there is no way in hell I am getting on a bus tonight.  So not leaving my hotel again.

I played some dime Double STP and hit Jacks x 5 for $125 but the buttons are all wonky and why I try to stop the credits from making noise, it deals the next hand.  NO.  I NEED TO TAKE A PHOTO. YOU ASSHOLE.

I cash out $200, up from $100.  I cashed in my Keno ticket.  I won a whopping $6.  I decided to go for another 105 games + a tip for the world’s nicest person.   Then I grab dinner from Fulton Hall to go.  Fun fact:  I got my Covid vaccinations at the actual Fulton Hall in Brooklyn.

I get on the elevator and some guy gets on and HE just starts yelling about how he lost his phone.  It is in your hand?  “Yes, I lost it but I found it.”  And he keeps going.  And I am just over people.  And I decide maybe I’ll just vacation in my room watching the Keno channel?  No really, I am not even really on vacation.  I have to work all next week.

I get to room around 5:00 and eat dinner.  And dick around the room.

I go back downstairs and lose money at Casino Royale.  Then some more at Harrahs.  Then I go to bed.  Sigh.  This is not how a 25 night trip to Vegas is supposed to be going!