This is an old trip report I am posting for the entertainment of Las Vegas addicts. While it was current while being written, a lot of it is now completely outdated.  Much of what you read about may no longer exist.

Friday, March 21, 2003 – Day One of Nine

My mother and I are going to Las Vegas!  We take JetBlue from JFK.  Our flight leaves at 10:50 am and according to JetBlue, is scheduled to arrive at 1:40. We got in an hour early.

The flight goes great. We watch some footage of the war on JetBlue’s DirectTV and also some of Animal Planet. As we are on the plane, I hear a familiar voice. I can’t place it. I tune into it and realize that the girl in the seat in front of me was on a Las Vegas special I saw on the Discovery Channel (it was probably also on the Travel Channel, but since I don’t have that…) Anyway, this girl is a female boxer. I can’t for the life of me remember her name. But she boxes in Las Vegas and the special I saw outlined her life and challenges and when she almost quit. Her manager, who was also on that show, was in front of my mother.

Once we are in Las Vegas, we run for a smoking terminal. We skip the slots and run for our luggage and door 14 for the Las Vegas Limo shuttle. Since we are going downtown, we anticipate a long ride. What we did NOT anticipate was the bumpiest ride ever. It was so bad that I was sure my mother was going to freak out at any second “LET ME OFF AND LETS TAKE A CAB” but no, we made it. No traction required for my mother.

First stop, checking into Las Vegas Club.

I had $30 casino rate on weekends so we took it. I had already stayed here before and wasn’t too excited about staying here again, mainly because it interfered with my whole “want to stay in every hotel” goal. But here we were. Check in was fine. We got room 801 in the South Tower. Upon quick inspection (which took a total of .07 seconds) it seemed fine and we ran off to Binions to eat burgers.

Binions has the best burgers in all of Las Vegas. My mother was silent for about 10 straight minutes while she ate. This woman is NEVER silent.

Once we are done eating, we do some “quick” gambling, to get it out of our systems. I try a new Monopoly game and get nothing. Price Check, nothing. Quarter Family Feud, nothing. Back to the Las Vegas Club to take a nap. While napping with the news on, I am woken up when “BREAKING NEWS” is announced.  The largest Megabucks jackpot in Las Vegas history has been won. I sat up and started SCREAMING “NOOOOOOOOOOO YOU BASTARD!”  Did I mention  how excited I was to be in Las Vegas while the Megabucks Jackpot was at an all time high?  I didn’t even have a chance to try! How upsetting. But how great for the winner.

[Editor’s note: ten years later, that jackpot won back in 2003 remains the largest jackpot in Las Vegas history, at $39.7 million.  The bastard who stole my money was only 25 years old when he hit it]

Bah.  Now that we are awake, we go downstairs to play. I put $40 in quarters that my managers gave me into a Monte Carlo slot machine. Lose it. Play Beverly Hillbillies. Lose. How about this new Monopoly game?  Lose.  We walk over to the California casino and play Spam and win! Yay! Play Price Check at Main Street Station, on the first machine I ever played Price Check on and lose. I guess that machine doesn’t miss me as much as I have missed it. My mother and I both try Fox and the Hound and both win (although since I didn’t write down how much, I certainly don’t remember). We eat dinner at the Triple Seven Brew Pub at Main Street Station. Very good, but nothing compared to the Binions burger.

On our way back to the Las Vegas Club, we stop to play Spam again and win $100.  From here, we walk over to the Golden Gate where I play quarter Monopoly and I win $75. Put some back in at  the Las Vegas Club (of course I did, it was my first day, I had to do it). Up to the room, I lay down on the bed all excited that its only day one and I have $100 in my winnings envelope already.

However, I also have my second inspection of the room and now I am not at all happy with it. The tub is covered in mildew and there was a pubic hair on my bed spread that did not belong to me. I act like this is all not happening because I’m in Las Vegas.