Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that I am posting for the entertainment of Las Vegas addicts and anyone else who loves fun.  It was written back in 2008.  Most of this information is now outdated and some places mentioned no longer exist.

Saturday, December 20, 2008 – Day Nine of Twenty One

Today I wake up at the Riviera.  AGAIN my notes start off with me whining about how my trip is going too fast. It really is.  Even with the nights I am losing and run to my room to hide, it’s still going sooooooooo fast.

I manage to sleep in today, until 10:00.  I get dressed and I’m out at 11:00, with plans for breakfast and only using the extra $40 I have from last night.

Invaders From the Planet Moolah is taken so I play it’s sister, Crystal Forest. This game is pretty alright as well, but it’s not Moolah. My first five turns into $15, but my next two $5’s turn into zero.

Breakfast is at Kadys Coffee Shop at the Riviera. it’s the only edible food choice here. I want Eggs Benedict but they only serve it until 11:30. It’s 11:20 when I am seated, 11:45 before my order is taken. I don’t ask to push the time limit because I know if she says no, I’ll be fifty times as angry as I am that it took 25 minutes for someone to take my order. I am seated by the window and the sun is burning me through the window. I get pancakes. They are good, but a short stack and coffee costs me $10.23. Clearly I am no longer downtown with these prices.

I lose another $15 and go back to the room and try and force myself to do laundry. Today is laundry day. I picked it because (a) the laundromat is at Circus Circus (b) this is the closest I’ll ever be to the Circus Circus on this trip (c) I have a full day in this room so it’s easy to just go and come back (d) I only packed enough stuff to get me through twelve days and it’s day nine so it makes more sense to get it done today (e) I knew when I made my itinerary that by this day I would need to take a gambling break and this kills a couple of hours. Still, despite all this logic, I came very close to not going.  But I did.

I loaded up my backpack with my dirty clothes and headed over to the KOA at Circus Circus. I made the mistake of walking THROUGH the Circus Circus. Ew. It smells and you can’t walk because there are kids and people everywhere. I passed near a bathroom and I swear I could smell a hundred dirty diapers

When I got back outside, it was wonderful to breathe in fresh air. I got a tiny bit lost looking for the KOA. I stopped and asked a security guard and he was so unbelievably nice to me. I told him “You are the nicest person I have talked to since I got here” and he smiled really big and said “Why thank you”. No, thank you.

Doing laundry was actually nice. It was beautiful out and just sitting outside in that weather, relaxing, was nice. I looked around at all the people in their mobile homes and was jealous of each and every one of them. I want an Airstream dammit.

Laundromat at the Circus Circus KOA:

When was the last time you saw a payphone with a phone book still attached to it??

Once my clothes are done, I walk back to the Riviera with a backpack full of very warm clothes. The warmth on my back was kind of like getting a free spa treatment. Once in the room I repack and settle in and watch last Mondays season finale of Heroes for $4.99.  I missed this for Mystere. After watching Heroes, I try to nap and nothing.  It’s now 4:00.

Between television and laundry, I have most of my budget still on me and I go out.  My short hand notes look like this: lost $15 at quarter video poker, did get four jacks. I lost $10 on a Nefertiti slot machine.  Walk to Sahara, no free play someone is on Invaders From the Planet Moolah so I put $5 in nickel video poker, hit jacks = $15, cash out.

Someone is still on Invaders From the Planet Moolah, so I leave. On the way out I put $5 in a Happy Days slot machine and instantly get the free spins bonus and get $30. I cash out with $30. So I’m up $10 and I continue heading downtown.  It’s 5:10 pm at this point.

I go to Main Street Station and play Hitchcock. I win $10, I lose $10. I eat at the Main Street Station Triple 7 Brewpub, bacon cheeseburger.  It is not as good as the other day but the waitress was as great as the one I had the other day. I love those HUGE sodas and how they get refilled without you waiting or even asking.

From here I head to the El Cortez for their Saturday night drawing, for which I have one entry from my slot tournament win the other day. I am positive I am going to win that huge television, and that will be my motivation to start painting my living room.  My goal for 2008 was to fix up my entire apartment. I got about 90% through with my bedroom, and stopped.

[Note, it is now 2014 and I have still yet to cross “fix up my entire apartment” off my to do list]

As I’m walking to the El Cortez, there is a mother and daughter DRUNK AS FUCK combo walking alongside me.  As we near Las Vegas Boulevard, the old Aladdin lamp is there. The mother yells “LOOK!  IT’S BIG BIRD” and they both go running to take each other’s picture in front of “Big Bird”. It’s the Aladdin lamp!  To be fair, it was dark out so all the lightbulbs were glowing bright yellow.

At the El Cortez. I play nickel video poker. First $5 nets me jacks (today is jacks day) and nothing else. I don’t win the Saturday night drawing either, which is weird since I was supposed to win.  Maybe someone stole my ticket out of the bin?

I head back to the Riviera with $25 of today’s budget left. I put $10 into quarter video poker (I’m now beginning to realize I can’t keep playing quarter if I want to survive) and turn it into $20. Then to Invaders From the Planet Moolah where I lose and lose and lose and then I hit for $54.20 in a bonus.  The next spin gets me an $11.60 line pay. I play $15 in Crystal Forest and my grand total with the Moolah win is $90.

I go back to quarter video poker and lose $35.  It’s 9:30 at night and I have $55 on me.

I decide to not waste it and go to my room.  This makes two nights in a row I was a non-degenerate gambler and went to bed with extra money to add to tomorrows budget.  Go me.

I get to the room and change into my pajamas and notice that my newly cleaned jeans have a huge tear in them – about two inches wide right under the ass. I’ve been walking around like this all night long, completely unaware. I put them back on and put my hoodie back on to see if it’s noticeable and decide it’s probably not. God help me if I was walking around downtown looking like one of those middle aged women who are completely oblivious to the fact it’s not the 80’s any longer.  They can be spotted in malls, wearing white high topped sneakers, with super huge socks for them to tuck their fashionably ripped mom jeans into.  Their outfit is perfectly paired with aqua netted layered hair and round brush bangs.

Sigh.  Good night.