April 25, 2013 – The day we all have been waiting for. The day I leave for Europe!! I had a typical bad day at work, made even worse by it being “Bring Your Kids to Work Day” Finally the day is over and I am FREEEEEEEEEE!!!! Europe here I come!!
Well it seems that in addition to being “Bring Your Kids to Work Day”, it is also “Bring Your Kids to Belgium Day”
Whenever I book a flight, I pick my seat. Last row, window seat on the right side of the plane. Last row because it gives you the best chance of having a row to yourself. Window seat because i can not breathe on planes. Having the window next to me is psychosomatic and makes me feel like I have more oxygen. Right side because that’s the way I lean when I fall asleep sitting up.
Tonight I get on the plane. I am still at the door and I can hear the SCREAMING kid. SCREAMING. Now let me stop and explain a bit here. Usually when someone talks about a screaming kid on a plane, it’s about a kid having a meltdown and just scream crying. That was not what this one was doing. It seemed to have having the worlds LOUDEST conversation with itself in a language only it spoke. Lots of “BEEEEEEEEEEE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP” just nonstop.
I make my way to the last row for my seat and this SCREAMING kid is in my seat. Not in my row, not next to my seat, but IN MY SEAT. Screaming away IN MY SEAT. Not only that, but it looks like it is in for the long haul. It is standing on my seat, BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP-ing away, with all its stuff all over the place. All over my seat, the floor, the seat back pocket. It has a bag under the seat in front of it. I recheck my boarding pass because surely I am at the wrong seat? I’m not. So my next logical thought is that this thing is in the wrong seat. I try telling it that it’s in my seat and all I get back is “BEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP” Finally, the father surfaces and asks me to switch to a middle row aisle seat. Oh Hell no. Don’t tell me you got on the plane and completely unpacked your kid in my seat, just expecting I would agree to switch because I won’t. I tell him no, I need the window or else I will vomit.
So the kid is then moved to the available aisle seat next to mine. This is an enormous production since it had so much stuff unpacked and all over the freaking place. Even though we are at the back of the plane, there are still people trying to get by so now we have a traffic jam. The kid is still screaming. Never once did its father try to get it to be quiet. Not once. Finally its out of my way and I am free to take my seat so I do.
I get settled. Get my stuff out. Notebook, pen, gum, MP3 player, headphones. I now have everything in the back seat pocket, I am ready to go. Now that I am all settled, this guy now goes all over the plane trying to find someone to give up their window seat to me, so that I can move and still have a window seat. Then this SCREAMING kid can have my seat and the new person can take the middle aisle seat. He finds someone. I am tempted to still say no. I never actually said I would move if he found me a new window seat. Everything about this is obnoxious.