Las Vegas Trip Report: April 25, 2009: Video Poker with a Wheel Showdown

Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that I am posting for the entertainment of Las Vegas addicts and anyone else who loves fun.  It was written back in 2009.  Most of this information is now outdated and some places mentioned no longer exist.

Saturday, April 25, 2009 – Day Two of Eleven

I wake up at 9:00 at the El Cortez. I am out at 10:00.

Viva Monopoly = $0

My progressive quarter Double Double Bonus video poker machine – This is MY machine because I won $300-something on it back in December and I love her – gave me $0

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Las Vegas Trip Report: April 24, 2009: The One Where I Purposely Choose a Crappy Room Because I Am an Idiot

Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that I am posting for the entertainment of Las Vegas addicts and anyone else who loves fun.  It was written back in 2009.  Most of this information is now outdated and some places mentioned no longer exist.

Friday, April 24, 2009 – Day One of Eleven

Today I left work early and headed for the airport.  I am on a US Airways flight pretty much only because I forgot they charge a luggage fee.

I arrive at the airport and check the departures.  Sure enough, my flight is already showing a delay.  This happens every time.  Every time I am told it’s because I’m leaving during rush hour.  Well this time I have photographic proof I am cursed.  Do you see all these flights?  Also leaving during rush hour?   DO YOU SEE that the ONE flight that is delayed is mine? Do you?  DO YOUOUOUOUOU?!?!?

delayUgh.

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One Month Until China: The One Where I Get My China Visa

Holy Crap how did the time fly by so fast?  I leave in a month?!? I am NOWHERE near ready to go.

On Friday, I went to get my visa.  What fun that was.  Way back when I started planning this trip, I knew nothing about China visas.  Because you know, why would I?  So I decided to ask my friend Google for help.  I dove right in and asked him about applying for a China visa in New York City.  I came across the Yelp page for the China Embassy in Manhattan and I knew I was doomed.  It seems the Manhattan Embassy is well known for being the toughest one to get a visa at.

Allow me to copy and paste:

  • Do not go to China. It’s not worth it. Plan to go to the Consulate at least 5 times. They are rude and are scamming.
  • They make you type your application and will make fun of you if you did not.
  • Power hungry little men.
  • Seriously awful human beings. Security guards harass and condescend you, the people behind the counter are automatons without a shred of human sensibilities or dignity and with all the senseless bureaucracy, it’s woefully inefficient. China is a large and complex country with many merits but this place is a conglomeration of all the bad points concentrated in one building.
  • This place makes me want to drown puppies. The website has an expired form and useless/incorrect instructions, the office doesn’t carry any forms, the hours are inconvenient and the location is terrible.
  • It’s a sad, sad day for US-Chinese relations when grown Chinese men with US passports walk away from the visa application window fist pumping in joy, having had their visa applications accepted.
  • I was there today. I waited in line and watched a clearly frustrated Caucasian man storm away, muttering, “I’ve been here three f*cking times already.” Continue reading

Las Vegas Trip Report: March 29, 2002: Last Day

Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that was written back in 2002.  Most of this information is now outdated and a lot of what is mentioned no longer exists.  

Friday, March 29, 2002 – Day Six of Six

My mother and I wake up at 7:00 and check out of the Barbary Coast.  We went to Paris for breakfast. This was my first time eating at their buffet and it definitely will not be my last. So good.

I lose some more money in Paris. I only have about $70 left on me.

We take a cab to the Hard Rock and I lose $5. I ask my mother “Do you want to look around” meaning “Do you want to look at the memorabilia”  She says “yes” and starts looking at the slots. We play The Price is Right and I win $50 – which I really needed.

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Las Vegas Trip Report: March 28, 2002: The Day I Accidentally Smashed My Head on a Slot Machine

Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that was written back in 2002.  Most of this information is now outdated and a lot of what is mentioned no longer exists.  

Thursday, March 28, 2002 Day Five of Six

We wake up at the Barbary Coast at 7:00 am and go over our breakfast options. My mother is starving and doesn’t want to walk far. I agree to eat next door at the Flamingo only if she promises not to put any money in any machines. She agrees and we go.

They have a brunch in the morning so you can have breakfast or lunch. We stuck to the breakfast. Their buffet is actually very good. It’s too bad I now hate that place with a passion. We had a window table and spent our time watching the flamingos outside.

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Las Vegas Trip Report: March 27, 2002: The One Where I Am So Stupid

Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that was written back in 2002.  Most of this information is now outdated and a lot of what is mentioned no longer exists.  

Wednesday, March 27, 2002 – Day Four of Six

Once again, my mother and I wake up at the Barbary Coast.  I am feeling better, but much disoriented. Why is this happening to me? I normally spend my casino trips very drunk and lacking all sleep. On this trip I am sober.  We are resting during the day AND getting eight hours of sleep at night.  Perhaps I am just not cut out for this lifestyle.

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Las Vegas Trip Report: March 26, 2002 – the One Where I Hate the Flamingo

Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that was written back in 2002.  Most of this information is now outdated and a lot of what is mentioned no longer exists.  

Tuesday, March 26, 2002 – Day Three of Six

Woke up at the Barbary Coast relatively late (11:00 am) and ate a late breakfast at the Victorian Room inside the Barbary Coast. My mother and I each had the skillet breakfast and neither of us finished even half of it.

We went next door to the Flamingo to gamble. Ugh. I lost about $100 and then won $150 on a Megabucks slot machine. I decide I am going to only play with the additional $50. I hit 1100 credits on a Bewitched nickel slot machine. This is a hand pay.   I waited about 45 minutes for the attendant. My mother won on some game with a monkey – I can’t remember the name – and she waited 55 minutes for the attendant.

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Las Vegas Trip Report – March 25, 2002: The Day We Ate at Denny’s

Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that was written back in 2002.  Most of this information is now outdated and a lot of what is mentioned no longer exists.  

Monday, March 25, 2002 – Day Two of Six

This morning we woke up very early at the Barbary Coast.  We walked to the Mirage to eat their breakfast buffet, before visiting the Dolphin Habitat.  Both of these things were courtesy of Wagerworks.

[Once again, 2014 called. It wants you to know that back in the day old school, there was an online slot game called Wagerworks. You would play for free and get real life comps. If you are a Las Vegas addict in current times, you probably play MyVegas on Facebook. It was very similar to that in that you got free stuff for FREE from MGM Properties for playing free online games]

I have never woken up this early in Vegas.  I am normally just coming to bed at this hour. It was very unusual for me to be wide awake and SOBER outside at 8:00 am. Las Vegas is very quiet and serene at this hour. The Las Vegas Strip is dead and it’s so peaceful. Who knew?

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Las Vegas Trip Report: March 24, 2002 – Day One of Six – The One Where I Hate the MTA

Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that was written back in 2002.  Most of this information is now outdated and a lot of what is mentioned no longer exists.  

Sunday, March 24, 2002 – Day One of Six

This trip was a Christmas present for my mother, who has never seen Las Vegas and has always wanted to. I covered all expenses, including her gambling budget.

This trip was abnormal for me because my mother has Cancer. She cannot go for hours and hours and hours like I am accustomed to doing. I had to adjust so we could spend a lot of time in the hotel room for her to rest. I absolutely did not mind doing this for her. I just want to warn you that if you are reading this looking for tales of wild debauchery, there will be none.

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How to Get into Manhattan from Any New York City Airport

Today’s post comes to you by special request from someone who attempted to read the Jfk Airport’s ground transportation instructions and got confused.  Which makes sense since the MTA is a jerk.   Once I started typing this out, I realized just how difficult it will sound to someone who has never been here before.  I apologize on behalf of the MTA for this.  I also apologize on behalf of myself for taking well over a month to type this out.

New York has three major airports, none of which are in Manhattan.  One isn’t even in the state of New York.  JFK International Airport and LaGuardia Airports are both in Queens.  Newark Airport is in New Jersey.

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