Las Vegas: Finally a Day Filled with Wins!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010 – Day Sixteen of Nineteen

[This is part sixteen of a nineteen day trip report.  If you would like to start at the beginning, go here.]

I unintentionally slept until noon today.  I am finally sleeping in and my trip is coming to an end.

I am at the Riviera.  I need coffee. I planned to play $60 and get coffee, then come back and get dressed.  That did not happen.

I did get an iced coffee. Then I put a $20 bill into a progressive Double Double Bonus video poker quarter game aaaaaaand…

Wait for it…

Okay why am I making you wait for it?  I am sorry.  Without further adieu, I hit the $552 progressive for Aces with a kicker! EEEEEEEEEEE!

quarter aces with kicker

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I go back to my room to show my cute little stuffed dog a picture of my beautiful win.  And to also put it away so I don’t feed it back later.  Then I go back out.

Double Double Bonus video poker $20-$40

I spotted a new Elvis quarter game, it takes nine quarters. That is out of my league but I just won $552 so I am going to go for it.  I put in a $100 bill and  hit a $325 line pay.  Whoa, today is going to be my day FINALLY!

I go out back to catch the 108 bus to Terribles Casino.   I have the Las Vegas Advisor coupon for a $100 loss rebate.  The way it works is that you turn in the coupon, then you go and lose $100, come back and get $100 slot play.  The thing is, you need to lose $100 totally.  Not that you lose $50 and win $25 and then lose another $50.  In that scenario, your losses are $100 but that $25 win shorts them to $75.  See?

I wait on line forever at the Terribles Player’s Club.  I give the boothling my coupon.   He kind of doesn’t really do anything and puts it on the counter behind him.   I just know this is going to cause me grief.  I flash back to the time I went to Mohegan Sun and the boothling did the very same thing with my $50 free play coupon and after an hour of it not showing up, another boothling had to dig through tons of discarded paper to find the coupon that the original boothling never did anything with.

But whatever, let’s go gamble!  I can do whatever I want because I HAVE to lose $100!

I put a $100 bill into fifty cent Keno and whoa, I win $292!

fifty cent keno


So I am clearly going to keep this money and screw the coupon for the loss rebate.  So not only do I have $300, I have no headache from dealing with my coupon going missing.  WIN WIN.

I try Keno again because KENO:

Stop for a break and I dropped my pee pass in the toilet again.

Quarter Keno:

At 3:45 I stop for a break at the coffee shop.   I have not eaten yet today so I order breakfast.   Then I wait about 20 minutes for my check.   I hate when this happens.  Why does this always happen?

I actually balls up and try DOLLAR Cleopatra Keno.  This was very scary.  This is nowhere near inside my budget.   I put in a $100 bill and watched it go down and then back up to $100.  I cashed out and breathed a sigh of relief.

As I am playing, a woman asks me to sell her a cigarette.  I hand her one and hold out my hand for change and she asks “You are really going to charge me?”  Uh, didn’t you just offer to pay for it?  Then she tries striking up conversation with me.  So we can thank this woman for my cash out.

I am done here so I walk over to Hard Rock to use my American Casino Guide coupon for free play.  I hit four of a kind fives with this and cash out with $70.

quarter fives

I try a Press Your Luck Big Event slot: $40-$0

I wanted to go to Ellis Island tonight but it is just easier to take the 108 bus back.  So I decide to instead go visit the Hilton.

I play a Goldfish slot and turn $40 into $90.

Monopoly Bonus City slot machine:  $20-$75, $20-$0.

I break here because I need to go get more $20 bills since I only have hundreds.  Life is so hard sometimes.

I come back to Monopoly and turn $40 into $60.  I note that maximum bet on this game is $40.  YEESH.  I am player super carefully to make sure I don’t accidentally touch that button.

Quarter Double Double Bonus video poker:

Quarter Wheel of Fortune slot machine:

I never once got the spin.

Moved to another Wheel of Fortune game: $20-$0.

Keno: $80-$80.

Phat Cats slot machine: $20-$0, $20-$20

I played around here forever.  I could not lose my initial $100 stake.  That is, until I finally did.  With a little hard work and persistence, you can do anything!

Put $100 in Rockin’ Billy slot machine, cashed out with $130.  I should call it a day now.

I walked back to the Rivera from here.  I got to my room at 10:00 with $120 still for today and $900 in winnings.  YAY.  This is how every day should be!

Las Vegas: Double Aces Day!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010 – Day Fifteen of Nineteen

[This is part fifteen of a nineteen day trip report.  If you would like to start at the beginning, go here.]

Up at 8:30 at the Imperial Palace.  Breakfast is at their buffet.  There are people out there who will swear that you will die if you eat here.  I always get so annoyed at how ridiculous these people are.  But today when I took a bite of a chocolate chip pancake only to discover the chocolate chips were raisins, I started leaning towards joining the boycott.

I went next door to Harrahs for some Starbucks.  I miss having a Dunkin Donuts nearby.   I came back to the Imperial Palace to play Ultimate X in nickels:


Today I am moving hotels again.  This time to the Riviera.  So many people hate this place and rant and rave about “THE SKY IS FALLING.  IT IS A DUMP. SQUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK”   I happen to love the place.  First, it gets my vote for Las Vegas casino with the best exterior visual. Continue reading

riviera daytimeRiviera Las Vegas night neonSecond, since no one else likes it, I tend to have the casino to myself for the most part.  No people = my heaven.

I take a cab between the two.  The driver passes the entrance to the Riviera.  So now I am dropped off in a very inconvenient spot out back, up steps and nowhere near reception.  I tried to pay $13 on a $10 fare but he did not have singles.  So he got $15 and was overpaid after screwing up and leaving me all the way in the back.  Haaaaaaaate.

I can’t check in until noon, so I check my bags.  I decide on instant that I hate the bellman.

Quarter Double Double Bonus video poker:  $20 – four of a kind fours = $100

quarter fours

Got $10 free play, $0

Nickel video poker: first hand  $20-$50 with dealt fives.

dealt nickel fives

I cant cash out, the machine is broken. This is a trick!  I am not falling for it. I’m fine with killing time waiting for an attendant.


Quarter Keno, $20-$0

Quarter Double Double Bonus video poker:
$20-dealt sixes.  I was going to cash out at $70 but made it up to $85.

quarter sixes


quarter kings

Chase the Royal:

Quarter Double Double Bonus video poker – dealt Aces!!!!  $20-$200

quarter aces

I check in and get room 2314 in the Monte Carlo tower.  I love that these rooms come with a refrigerator!  My room comes to $172.48, which is for two comped nights, and two at $70 each.  I am paying the resort fee on both $70 rooms.  But it was the cheapest offer I had for New Years Eve so I am okay with it.

The checkinling tells me that i can get a better view if I take a nonsmoking room.  No thank you.  If I want to view Las Vegas, I will go outside.

Riviera Las Vegas room spot the Las Vegas luggage Riviera Las Vegas room

Room view:

pool view Riviera Las Vegas room view Riviera Las VegasI sort my money and I’m up $280 for today.

I take a shower and watch another DVD.  I am hungry so I stop at Riviera’s food court for take away.  I lost  $40 on my way there.

$20-four of a kind threes = $115

I am headed to Ellis Island to play penny Ultimate X.  I love Ultimate X and playing it in pennies is just as fun as playing it in nickels.

$40-$0 Ultimate X

Double Double Bonus video poker:
$20-$220 via Aces!!!!!!!
quarter aces1

I walked back to the Strip, stopping at Flamingo to have breakfast for dinner.  I need to clean out my comps because I am never visiting a Harrahs property in the next six months and your comps expire if you do not play within six months.

Its 8:54 pm and I’m waiting for someone to take my order.  Yeagh I hate my waitress.  In addition to being slow, she keeps calling me “Baby”.  Please, stop.

I take the bus back to Riviera.  First one takes half an hour to show up and it is packed.  No way in hell am I getting on that one.  Another one comes right after and it is empty.  Score!

I originally planned to get off at Encore and do some gambling there but I am exhausted.  That does not stop me from gambling at Riviera before bed.

Riviera $100-$0 Double Double Bonus video poker, had to do it.

$100-$0 in DOLLAR Double Double Bonus video poker, had to do it.

Bed 11:30

Las Vegas: Free Play and Cash Back Day

Monday, December 27, 2010 – Day Fourteen of Nineteen

[This is part fourteen of a nineteen day trip report.   If you would like to start at the beginning, go here.]

Awake at 7:00 at the Imperial Palace.   I am in a bad mood, despite having actually won money yesterday.  Maybe it’s because my trip is almost over no no no no nooooooooooo.

I actually ate Burger King for breakfast.  It cost more than any other option because any other option would have been comped.  But I just did not feel like having to deal with any person today so that seemed to be the easier option.

After breakfast, I go back to sleep and wake back up at 1:00.  I’m going to shower and then go out and collect all my leftover free play and random cash back.

On my way out, I cashed in a 95-cent Imperial Palace TITO and it shorted me a quarter!  I am losing money today without even having gambled yet.

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I get to the bus stop in perfect time for the Deuce bus.  I have been using a local’s pass this trip.  They are good on Strip routes only if you have a local ID, which I do not.  It has not been a problem at all so far but today’s bus driver was just dying to ask me for ID, you could see it on his face.  But I stared him down and I won.  You should note that (a) I am aware that using a local’s pass is against the rules and possibly even the law and that (b) I don’t care.

I got off the Deuce at Oakey to get cigarettes and water and when I went back to the bus stop, the Deuce was right there!  The Deuce is acting like a private car for me today.  Woo!

I had $39 in free play at the El Cortez via cashing in my points.  This is a very bad use of points but who cares?   I played it all in a nickel Cleopatra Keno and cashed out with $20.

I had $15 cash back at Fitzgeralds and I collected that.

Lunch was a Binions burger, which was covered by a voucher I had from earlier in the trip that I won on the Binions “Spin to Win” promotion.  Afterwards I went and collected all my Binions cash back.  I had $37 here.  I am rich!

Over to the Four Queens. I collected $11 cash back here.

From here I take the Wax bus to Sahara.  The bus jerked at some point and I almost fell!  Some chick touched me to get my attention and gave me her seat like I’m a common tourist who can’t hold onto the pole!   I guess I deserved it.

I did the Sahara daily free pull = $0.  Then I stopped for some iced coffee at their coffee place and the dude asked me “Do you want it iced or hot”  ICED DAMMIT.

Lost thirty bucks in Barkin Bucks and Buzzin Bee Band slot machines.  Gah.  I suck.

I leave Sahara by going out the back and catching the 108 bus to Flamingo to walk up to Ellis Island to get my $10 free play there.  Woop.

Ellis Island Ultimate X.  I am betting with free play + $10 cash.  I got some hits to cash out, these are all pennies by the way.

1227101859-01 1227101924-00 1227101928-00

I walk back to the Imperial Palace and take some pictures along the way.  The Flamingo is now an ad for H&M.

Flamingo Las Vegas with h&m wrap

Caesars Palace Las VegasBallys Las VegasBack to the Imperial Palace with $145 from all my collected cash back and wins.  Woo! Yay!

Ultimate X at the Imperial Palace:


Cash out to get $20s.  Someone left a penny on tails in the cash dispenser. I did not realize this until after I saw the penny and thought “YAY PENNY ON HEADS” and after picking it up, I saw it was on tails. NO. Someone also tried to steal my machine NOOOOOOOOOOOO.  FAIL.

I lost $60 fast.  Stupid unlucky penny.

Room at 5:00.

I did not write anymore today so maybe I just went to bed.  Either that or I won eleventy billion dollars and I am just censoring that out so that you don’t ask me for charity.  You will never know the truth!

Las Vegas Trip Report: Royal Flush!

Sunday, December 26, 2010 – Day Thirteen of Nineteen

[This is part thirteen of a nineteen day trip report.  If you would like to start at the beginning, go here.]

I wake up at the Orleans at 9:30 and an hour later I am downstairs for my last few hours here before I move to the Imperial Palace.

My quarter Double Double Bonus video poker machine is free so I give it $40 as a going away present.  Sigh.

I have a comped meal at the Orleans coffee shop for breakfast and then get going on a Carnival of Mystery slot machine:


I put all the winning tickets back in to play off the change.   I cashed out for $80 in the end.

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I have to hurry it up to go and get my bag and check out.  Of course, the hotel elevators are not working again.  Sigh.

After I finally get to my room, FINALLY get back downstairs, I checked out and took a cab to the Imperial Palace.   It is popular opinion among Las Vegas addicts that the Imperial Palace is a dump.   It is popular opinion among the rest of the Earth’s population that most Las Vegas addicts don’t really know the meaning of the word “dump.”   This place is not fancy and you can have it for $20/night.  I however, have it for zero because I am comped.

I am given room 1880.   See what I mean?  It must be nice to have lived such a cul de sac namby pamby lifestyle that this room is considered a dump.

Imperial Palace bed Las Vegas

These rooms come with balconies.  You might think that most people would want Strip view but being that there is the world’s loudest bar down below that goes from noon until infinity, rooms away from the Strip are more popular.  I however, have center Strip.

Look! Bellagio fountains!

view bellagio fountains from Imperial Palace Balcony las vegasAnd of course, the beautiful night view:

view of Cosmopolitan, Bellagio and Caesars from Imperial Palace Balcony Las Vegas

The Imperial Palace has nickel Ultimate X video poker, making it the only Strip casino that has this in nickels.  I love Ultimate X and even in my most degenerate of days, am still way to petrified to try quarters.

I sit down and put a $100 bill in.  I play for a bit.  Then.

ROYAL FLUSH!  No multiplier of course.
royal flush

Next win is four of a kind twos with a kicker AND a three times multiplier:
2s x 3

Cash out $350!

The Imperial Palace also has Cleopatra Keno!  Also available in nickels.  Of course, I play it in quarters though.


Room at 2:45 for a nap.

Up at 5:00

Went completely degenerate.  Lost $100 in Ultimate X.

Dinner is at the Burger Palace inside the Imperial Palace.  All the people who call the Imperial Palace a dump, swear you can die of food poisoning from standing within a 100 yard radius of this place.  I managed  to survive though.

After my delicious meal, I played Cleopatra quarter Keno and won $100 twice!  I cashed out never!


Las Vegas: Eights into Sixes into Eights into Sixes.

Saturday, December 25, 2010 – Day Twelve of Nineteen: Merry Christmas!

[This is part twelve of a nineteen part trip report.  If you would like to start at the beginning, go here.]

I wake up at The Orleans with my huge $35 win from last night in tact.  I go downstairs with $170.  This is a sure sign of degeneracy because The Orleans is off strip so there is nowhere for me to go.  Thereby, I do not need that much money in ONE casino.

I managed to get it up to $220 and played back down to $170.  See?  I told you I was degenerate.

Quarter Double Double bonus video poker.  I hit four of a kind eights into sixes and back into eights.

quarter eights1quarter sixes2quarter eights

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I head back to my room at 8:30 with a cheese Danish for breakfast.

Today is Christmas and my present to myself is a spa treatment.  My appointment is at 11:00.   It was so incredible.  I typically go the Palms spa every time I am in Las Vegas to use the Las Vegas Advisor 50% off coupon.   Since I am now Sapphire at Boyd, the spa discount + the off strip prices make this treatment cheaper.   It was also so much better.  Who knew?

I play some more quarter Double Double Bonus video poker afterwards and hit four of a kind sixes again.

quarter sixes

I cash out when I am down to  $65.

My next $20 gets me a $120 cash out, thanks to four of a kind twos.

quarter twos

It is now 1:00 and I stop for food.

I stop back at the room to apply lucky glitter on my new cash and to see just how much that new cash is.   Woo!  It is $250.

I put $50 away and decide I will do two $100 sessions.  Someone is on the machine that blessed me with my morning wins.   I kill time by getting an iced coffee at Seattle’s Best and the rat bastard is still on my machine when I get back.  Fine, slots it is!  I play a Carnival of Mystery slot and turn $15-$30.  But I want to play Double Double Bonus video poker.  But that guy is still on my machine.  So I do what any degenerate gambler would not do and I go to my room for a nap.

At 9:00 I am dressed and debating staying in because I am tired.  But I am also degenerate and a degenerate does what a degenerate needs.   I go back out with $95.

I play nickel Keno and turn $5-$20

I play Carnival of Mystery again.  Two people surrounding me each won four digits on Twice Your Honey slot machines so i had to try it.  $5-$25.  Never cashed out.

Back to Carnival of Mystery.  Hit $180 line pay and then the bonus came immediately after.

carnival of mystery 180I cashed out with $200 and get this, actually kept it and went to my room.  Who am I and what have I done with Jennifer?

The hotel elevators are not working, and there are more people waiting than there are dollars I have lost so far during this trip.   Eventually we were escorted up in the service elevator.

Once I am in my room of course, I decide I am hungry because I never ate dinner.  I only bring $35 down with me, $30 is to play and $5 will be the tip on a comped meal.

A Cleopatra slot machine steals my first $5.

Nickel Double Double Bonus video poker takes another.

Carnival of Mystery gives me $20 for two fives and then takes $15.

Dinner is at the Orleans coffee shop.  I really hate: waiting to order, waiting for my food, waiting for the check.   What if I am missing my intended eleventy billion dollar jackpot waiting for these things?

After eating, I put my last $20 in a Carnival of Mystery slot machine and watch  as my credits go down to zero.

Bed time.

Las Vegas: Moving from Binions to the Orleans

Friday, December 24, 2010 – Day Eleven of Nineteen

[This is part eleven of a nineteen part trip report. If you want to start at the beginning, go  here.]

All I want for Christmas Eve is my first quarter royal…

I wake up at the California hotel.   I am out at 9:30 and bee lined it to Dunkin Donuts at Fremont for some iced coffee and some SuperTimes Pay video poker at my most favorite SuperTimes Pay machines in all of Las Vegas.

$20-$45 – hitting four of a kind sevens with a 2x multiplier.

nickel sevens
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$20-$30 by being dealt a full house with a 3x multiplier.

full house x 3

Binions quarter Double Double Bonus video poker:

Four Queens, quarter Double Double Bonus video poker: $20-$0.

Nickel Double Double Bonus video poker $5-$0.


Today I am checking out of California and leaving Downtown.   I will be at the Orleans for the next two nights on a comp.  I take a cab and pay with a credit card as I do not want to give up all my newly lucky glittered bills.  I did not realize there was a service charge of $3 for using a credit card.  That $3 will stick with me just as long as the stupid $1.08 from Dupars will, and that will be forever.

At the Orleans, I get room 1764.  The toilet never stops running.


roomroom viewMy offer comes with a $10 food credit.  I use it for a cheddar cheese omelet at the coffee shop.

My offer also comes with $5 free slot play from a mailer.  The intent is to play $40 and free play and go to the room for a nap.   I almost do this but then…

I bet you thought I was going to say “I decided to gamble more” didn’t you.  Well I didn’t.  I did go outside to get some Diet Pepsi and got a movie from Redbox while I was out there.

I am in the room at 1:30.  I take a shower, put on pajamas, watch a movie and have yet another failed attempt at a nap.

I go back out at 3:30.  I lose $20, never wrote on what.

Nickel Double Double Bonus video poker:
$5-$40 Aces.  I have not seen Aces in days and it figures when I do, it’s on nickels.

nickel aces

Keno $5-$0

Twice Your Monkey slot machine: $5-$0

Carnival of Mystery slot machine:
$5-$90 (EEE)

I mosey on up to an All That Glitters 2 slot machine and there is a penny on heads next to it!  Finally, I am going to win eleventy billion dollars!!!


What the hell?  That’s not eleventy billion dollars.  Screw you All That Glitters 2.  I’m going home.

I stop and get take out at Fuddruckers and take it back to my room to watch a movie.

Out at 8:00

$20-$35 – four of a kind fours.

nickel fours


I decide to keep the $35.   That’s right.  I continually put back hundred dollar wins.  But that $35?  That I keep.   Sigh.

Good night.

Las Vegas: Why Do I Keep Winning Decks of Cards?

Thursday, December 23, 2010 – Day Ten of Nineteen

[This is part ten of a nineteen part trip report.  If you want to start at the beginning, go here.]

It’s official!  My trip is more than half over.  This is bullshit.

After my ordeal of moving rooms at the California hotel last night, due to my room being flooded, I actually manage to sleep until 10:30.  That is a record for this trip.

I head out at 11:45

Lost $15 Keno.

I found my glasses case in my bag from when I moved last night. I broke a $100 bill and went back to my room to get rid of the glasses case and to put lucky glitter on my new bills.  Back out, I made it halfway to the Golden Gate before I realized I hadn’t put on deodorant.  Back to room AGAIN.  Oh it is going to be one of those days, eh?

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It’s now 12:15 and my day is finally just starting.

Back to the Golden Gate to have breakfast at Dupars.  I used a $10 comp slip because the Golden Gate insists on using comp slips.  Three cheese omelet, ended up paying $1.08.  This will never stop grinding my gears.  I have comps.  Why am I paying anything in cash?  But they will not let you get a comp slip for $11.08.  It has to be in increments of $5.  If you get a $15 slip, then you lose $3.92 because the overage will not be returned to your account.  Infuriating.

I still play here though.  You know, racking up more comps that will cost me money not only in the machines, but in the restaurant.

I find an old school Moolah slot machine – not to be confused with Invaders From the Planet Moolah.  I play this:


Used my pee pass to take the Deuce bus away from Downtown.

I got off at the Stratosphere and went in for some Starbucks.

I played Double Double Bonus video poker quarters and lost $80.  Then I lost another $20 in a Press Your Luck slot machine.

I walked over to Sahara to take the bus to Palace Station.  Today was the first time I had seen blue sky in many days.

blue sky las vegas nevada

The bus took forever to come.  I could have walked in less time than it took.

At Palace Station, I play nickel full play Double Double Bonus video poker and lost not only $15, but my Diet Pepsi.  Argh.   Topped this off by losing another $100.  This was my first visit to Palace Station in so many years and I am being punished.

I take the bus back to the Sahara to do the daily free pull.  I win nothing.  Sigh.

I play a Barkin’ Bucks slot machine.  This game is so adorable.  I turn $40 into $60.

It’s 4:30, I’m going back downtown.

I do my typical stop at Dunkin Donuts for iced coffee and start playing video poker.  Where?  Damned if I know.  You would think it would be on my favorite SuperTimes Pay machines right outside Dunkin Donuts, but the pictures say otherwise.

too blurry sixesquarter twos
$20-$30 on four of a kind Queens and then $20-$0.

Maltese Fortune slot machine: $20-$20.

Frog princess $20-$0

Back to the Golden Gate to rack up more comps that will just end up pissing me off.  I turn $20-$0 on Monopoly, and $20 to $0 on Wizard of Oz.

Golden Gate has a drawing that you earn tickets by playing.  I stick around since I have several entries and hey, who knows?

They award prizes from smallest value to largest.  One prize is $200.  Some guy wins it and forfeits it as you can only win one prize and he wants a bigger one.  Soon after, a camcorder comes up.  Same guy wins it and again forfeits it to not have to give up a bigger prize.    Finally we get to the grand prize: an enormous flat screen television.  Do you want to guess who won it?  Do you?


The guy’s WIFE won it.  How does this even happen?   Maybe it has something to do with him being a bigger degenerate than I am and had way more entries than anyone else.  Even while the drawing was going on, he was playing slot machines while they were calling names.

I walk over to Binions and play around until I have enough points to do the daily promotional swipe.  I have played enough to get two swipes today.   I further assume I lost a lot of money because nowhere in my notes is what I played documented and surely I would have written if I won.

For the first spin, I win another freaking deck of cards.  STOP IT WITH THE GIVING ME DECKS OF CARDS.  THIS IS NOT A PRIZE. IT IS A BURDEN.

My second spin awards me with $15 free slot play.  Much better.

I get a Binions burger to go and bring it back to my room for dinner.

Fremont Street Experience Christmas show:

Fremont Street Experience Happy Holidays Las Vegas

After eating, I decide to stay in my pajamas and my DRY bed for the night.   Good night.

Las Vegas: That Time My Hotel Room Was Flooded

Wednesday December 22, 2010 – Day Nine of Nineteen

[This is part nine of a nineteen day trip report.  To start at the beginning, go here.]

Up at the El Cortez at 9:00, out 9:45. I have one last meal at Cafe Cortez to use up my dining credit here.

Cleopatra Keno: $5-$0

Four card Keno:

Quarter Double Double Bonus video poker:  $80-$120 by hitting four of a kind too-blurry-to-post-a-picture-of-sixes and a dealt Straight Flush!

straight flush Continue reading

Today I am checking out of here and moving to the California hotel.  At check out, my room bill is wrong since my dining credit should have been applied at $20 per day and not $60 total.  Since a couple of days I was over $20, and today I am under $20, she has to play with it to get it to work.  She does and my bill is $0.

It’s P-O-U-R-I-N-G out.  I mean monsoon like.   On one hand, this is fine by me since I am usually lucky in Las Vegas when it rains.  Come on BIG MONEY!   On the other hand, I don’t have much of an interest in walking my luggage to the California in the rain. I ask the El Cortez bellman if he can call a cab for me. He had their driver take me to the California for ten bucks. I don’t know if I was supposed to tip on this? The guy is not a taxi driver. But I gave him $15. Better to be safe than sorry.

At California, I get room 1133, last one in the hall.

California Hotel and Casino Las Vegas room bed

These rooms come with a refrigerator, but they do not come with Las Vegas luggage.  You have to bring your own.

California Hotel Las Vegas room

View of the pouring rain outside my window:
California Hotel Las Vegas room view in the rain
I drop off my bags and head to Dunkin Donuts for iced coffee. It’s 11:30.

Fremont Double Double Bonus Supertimes Pay:

I had two Binions promo chips from doing the “Spin the Wheel” promotion on my last Las Vegas trip, so I head over there. I don’t play table games (nor do I know how) but the internet told me I could use them on Roulette and just bet one on red and one on black. I did this and won $5.

Binions quarter Double Double Bonus video poker:

$20-$80 by hitting four of a kind fives:

quarter fives

I have enough points to do the swipe promotion again. This time I win $10 food credit. That’s so much better than a deck of cards.

I play around some more because you know, GAMBLOR.

Life of Luxury slot machine: $20-$50
Crystal (something?) progressive slot machine: $20-$0
Sex in the City slot machine: $100-$0 (yikes)

Then because clearly I am beyond degenrate, I start playing dollar video poker.

Thankfully, I hit four of a kind sevens and cash out with $300.

dollar sevens

Do I stop there? Um, NO.

Miss Kitty slot machine: $20-$0
Geisha slot machine: $20-$0
Ducks in a Row slot machine: $15-$0
Triple diamond Keno $5-$0
Four card Keno $25-0 and then another $25-$0

I now have enough points to get a second swipe on the spin promotion and I win a free Binions burger!


Monte Carlo Royale slot machine:

Make my way back to California and here I play a Maltese Fortune slot machine: $20-$0.

Quarter Double Double Bonus video poker:

I take a break to go to room to situate myself and add lucky glitter to my new money.

Out with $105, my aim is the Golden Gate and instead, ended up going to the Plaza as it was screaming for me to come inside.

It is so DEAD in here. I played some slots:

All That Glitters 2:

I Love Lucy: $20-$0

It is still pouring outside.  I love the neon reflection when it rains on Fremont Street.

Fremont street rainneony rainFremont Street East rain

I am exhausted and want my bed. I go to my room. I put on pajamas, brush my teeth and crawl into bed with a book. It is so comfortable and I just let out a pleasured sigh and then IT happens. I put my arm under a pillow. It feels frozen under there. What the…my bed is wet. SOAKING wet. What the hell is going on here? I get out of bed and note that the side of the bed away from the room door is completely soaked through, as is the carpet. I was walking on it making this discovery and the water was so deep in the carpet that it would rise up and go over my foot. What is this?

Does this look wet?  No?  Maybe that’s why I got into it in my pajamas.  ARGH.
California Hotel Las Vegas room

I call the front desk. I say “My room is flooded” and the check-in-ling tells me to come down and she will give me a new key. Not that she will send someone up with a new key to help me move or anything. Not even an apology actually.

I am in my pajamas. I am exhausted. I don’t want to get dressed. So fuck it, I don’t. I go down to the lobby in my pajamas, with no bra on, wearing these slippers:

As I get off the elevator, the check-in-ling is waving me over with my new keys in her hand. She didn’t even verify I was me or apologize. I still to this day have never received an apology, even after writing a letter when I got back home.

Now I go back upstairs to move all my stuff. I didn’t want to pack and I was being a total child throwing a temper tantrum about this. Rather than pack and just move my bag, I keep going back and forth between the two rooms with a few items at a time in my left hand, while holding my right hand up giving the finger to any security cameras that might be watching me.

My 9:00 bed time has now become an 11:30 bedtime. Screw you California Hotel.

Las Vegas: Dropping My Bus Pass in a Toilet Gives Me a Catchy Title!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010 – Day Eight of Nineteen

[This is day eight of a nineteen day trip report. To start at the beginning, go here.]

This trip is going by way too fast.  Sigh.

I wake up at the El Cortez at 9:00 and I am dressed and out by 10:15.

I stop at the El Cortez coffee shop for breakfast and charge it to my room to use up some of the dining credit that came with my offer.  I write in my notes that I am only going to play a little and go back and watch movies.  Let’s see if I do that.

I have a 2x points multiplier from a mailer.  I get it activated at the slot club booth and get going.

Cleopatra Keno:

I return to the room at 11:30, up $20.

Continue reading

I get back into my pajamas and watch “Valentine’s Day and take a nap.  When I am back up, I fill my backpack up with laundry and take that with me while I do a double errand trip of returning my movies to Redbox and laundry.  It is more fun to do laundry in Las Vegas, sitting outside at the Circus Circus KOA, looking at all the Airstreams and people with dogs and day dream about being one of them, than it ever is to do laundry in Brooklyn

I get back downtown at 5:00 and I have barely gambled at all today.

I make a dinner reservation once again at the steakhouse at El Cortez, to try and use up this dining credit. It is 4:45 now, my reservation is at 5:30.

I am going to play Cleopatra Keno while I wait:

I then make my way closer to the restaurant and put at $5 in a Rawhide slot machine and win $30!

Dinner is Filet Mignon, mushrooms, potato.  I’m still under the $60 food credit. I am determined to make it. This would be easier done if I would stop using coupons to cut my bill in half.  But I can’t stop myself.

I stop back at the room to put some lucky glitter on my bills. I am back out with $160. Same exact amount I had before doing laundry, buying cigarettes and tipping the server at Roberta’s.

Its 7:00

Cleopatra Keno:

Four card Keno:

I manage to leave the El Cortez twice in one day and head to Fremont for Dunkin Donuts iced coffee.

Fremont casino entrance Las Vegas Nevada

Oh hey, let’s play some SuperTimes Pay Double Double Bonus video poker!

$20-$60 by hitting four of a kind 4’s with a kicker
$20-$30 by hitting Jacks
$20-$40 by dealt Kings

I would show you visual proof of all these things but the pictures are so so so so blurry and full of flash orbs.  Sigh.

Binions, you’re next!

Quarter Double Double Bonus video poker $60-$0

I needed nine points to do the swipe promotion at Binions.  So far in this trip, I have won $10 food credit (and TWO decks of cards) doing it.  I would like another dining credit so I stay here to play.

I am $30 into a Life of Luxury slot machine and hit a bonus for $140!   By now I have been playing a while so surely I have racked up nine points.  I go back and discover my Life of Luxury play did not register.  Oh fuck you.  I am out of here.

It’s 8:45.  I walk over to the Deuce bus stop and take the bus to the Stratosphere.   This picture if from a different day of the trip, but I have to show you SOMETHING to make up for the wins photos malfunctioning!

Stratosphere Las Vegas Nevada

I have not been here in a really long time so why not?  I need a new card.  I cannot find the player’s club booth. I end up circling the casino more times than I care to.  Just as I am about to give up and leave, I spot it!   It seems that I have two accounts, so the boothling merges them for me.  I have zero points on either I am sure.

Before playing, I stop at the rest room and my bus pass fell out of my back pocket and into the toilet.  Going forward, it is now known as a pee pass.

I play quarter 8/5 Double Double Bonus video poker:
$20-$100 hitting four of a kind 2s
Press Your Luck slot machine: $20-$0

Me and my pee pass go back outside and get back on the Deuce.  Back downtown, I stop at my room to get situated and to glitter up my cash again, before going back to Binions.

Life of Luxury slot machine: $20-$0
Double Double Bonus video poker: $60-$0
Life slot machine: $60-$0

Now I have enough points to do the promotional swipe.  I win $25 free slot play.  Totally worth losing $140 for!

I use it all in a Cleopatra Keno and lose it all in a Cleopatra Keno.  Dammit.

Back to the El Cortez.

Four card Keno:

I am in bed at midnight.

Las Vegas Trip Report: A Very Boring Day, Thank You Radio Shack

Monday, December 20, 2010:  Day Seven of Nineteen

[This is part seven of a nineteen day trip report.  To start at the beginning, go here.]

This morning I actually slept until 9:00 and when I did wake up, all I wanted to do was go back to bed because I do not feel well.

I have a DVD player with me.  Once upon a time, I was flying Southwest Airlines.  They do not have an inflight entertainment.  This was fine by me as I usually just listen to music the entire flight.  My sister however, was horrified at the thought of me flying without anything to watch so she shoved her DVD player down my throat.  On that trip, I discovered that on longer trips, I actually like spending a night (or two) in the room watching movies in my pajamas.  Since I do not feel well today, I decide I want to do this.

I try to plug it in to charge it before going out.  Instantly I am livid.  The charger that I bought back in NYC the day I left (since I lost mine) was the wrong one.  Radio Shack gave me the wrong one.  I WILL KILL YOU RADIO SHACK.

Continue reading

I go outside to Binions for breakfast with a $10 food comp I got in the point swipe promo a couple of days ago.  Then I play and lose ten bucks.

Since Radio Shack ruined my day, I decide to get on a bus and head for Sahara.

Sahara hotel and casino Las Vegas Nevada

There I play nickel Double Double Bonus video poker:

$5-$15 Jacks

nickle jacks

Keno $10-$0

Invaders From the Planet Moolah slot:

Sahara has a free slot pull every day where you can win a prize.  I win $5 free play today.

Once I am done, I started to go to Target to buy a new charger but then found out there is a Radio Shack at Meadows Mall.  Since I bought the charger the day I left, I actually have the bag and receipt so maybe they will exchange it for me.  I go back downtown to my room to grab the bag.  I also grab the actual DVD player (even though I had it with me when I bought the original charger and that did squat) because I am not going to survive if I have to do this three times.

The bus to Radio Shack just left and now I have a 45 minute wait.  I get to Meadows Mall and suddenly am reminded that people go to malls at Christmas time and I should not be in a mall at Christmas time.  Oh the horror that is the human race.

I exchange my charger and am told that not only did the New York idiot give me the wrong charger, he overcharged me as the charger came in two parts and he erroneously charged me for each part when he should have combined them.   I got a partial refund.

It is pouring outside.  As I walk to the bus stop, the bus passes me and I go bolting for it.  The driver waits for me and I get on, only to realize I am on the wrong bus.  I stay on it until we reach a stop that it connects to the Sahara line at and then I take that to the Deuce, stopping at Redbox along the way.

This whole ordeal took me three hours.

Back at the El Cortez, I play some Cleopatra Keno:

Time to eat.  I’m up fifteen bucks!

Once again, dinner is at the El Cortez steakhouse.  I need to use this food credit up!

I get in some last play before heading to the room for the relaxing and movie watching I planned to do about eleventy billion hours ago.

The one Multi Strike Supertimes Pay machine known as “Crack” is taken.  Always.

All the Cleopatra Keno machines are taken.

I try some four card Keno that I won $200 on yesterday.


I am in my pajamas at 8:00 with a Diet Pepsi and movies.  Finally, ahhhhhh.