Las Vegas: Free Play and Cash Back Day

Monday, December 27, 2010 – Day Fourteen of Nineteen

[This is part fourteen of a nineteen day trip report.   If you would like to start at the beginning, go here.]

Awake at 7:00 at the Imperial Palace.   I am in a bad mood, despite having actually won money yesterday.  Maybe it’s because my trip is almost over no no no no nooooooooooo.

I actually ate Burger King for breakfast.  It cost more than any other option because any other option would have been comped.  But I just did not feel like having to deal with any person today so that seemed to be the easier option.

After breakfast, I go back to sleep and wake back up at 1:00.  I’m going to shower and then go out and collect all my leftover free play and random cash back.

On my way out, I cashed in a 95-cent Imperial Palace TITO and it shorted me a quarter!  I am losing money today without even having gambled yet.

Continue reading

I get to the bus stop in perfect time for the Deuce bus.  I have been using a local’s pass this trip.  They are good on Strip routes only if you have a local ID, which I do not.  It has not been a problem at all so far but today’s bus driver was just dying to ask me for ID, you could see it on his face.  But I stared him down and I won.  You should note that (a) I am aware that using a local’s pass is against the rules and possibly even the law and that (b) I don’t care.

I got off the Deuce at Oakey to get cigarettes and water and when I went back to the bus stop, the Deuce was right there!  The Deuce is acting like a private car for me today.  Woo!

I had $39 in free play at the El Cortez via cashing in my points.  This is a very bad use of points but who cares?   I played it all in a nickel Cleopatra Keno and cashed out with $20.

I had $15 cash back at Fitzgeralds and I collected that.

Lunch was a Binions burger, which was covered by a voucher I had from earlier in the trip that I won on the Binions “Spin to Win” promotion.  Afterwards I went and collected all my Binions cash back.  I had $37 here.  I am rich!

Over to the Four Queens. I collected $11 cash back here.

From here I take the Wax bus to Sahara.  The bus jerked at some point and I almost fell!  Some chick touched me to get my attention and gave me her seat like I’m a common tourist who can’t hold onto the pole!   I guess I deserved it.

I did the Sahara daily free pull = $0.  Then I stopped for some iced coffee at their coffee place and the dude asked me “Do you want it iced or hot”  ICED DAMMIT.

Lost thirty bucks in Barkin Bucks and Buzzin Bee Band slot machines.  Gah.  I suck.

I leave Sahara by going out the back and catching the 108 bus to Flamingo to walk up to Ellis Island to get my $10 free play there.  Woop.

Ellis Island Ultimate X.  I am betting with free play + $10 cash.  I got some hits to cash out, these are all pennies by the way.

1227101859-01 1227101924-00 1227101928-00

I walk back to the Imperial Palace and take some pictures along the way.  The Flamingo is now an ad for H&M.

Flamingo Las Vegas with h&m wrap

Caesars Palace Las VegasBallys Las VegasBack to the Imperial Palace with $145 from all my collected cash back and wins.  Woo! Yay!

Ultimate X at the Imperial Palace:


Cash out to get $20s.  Someone left a penny on tails in the cash dispenser. I did not realize this until after I saw the penny and thought “YAY PENNY ON HEADS” and after picking it up, I saw it was on tails. NO. Someone also tried to steal my machine NOOOOOOOOOOOO.  FAIL.

I lost $60 fast.  Stupid unlucky penny.

Room at 5:00.

I did not write anymore today so maybe I just went to bed.  Either that or I won eleventy billion dollars and I am just censoring that out so that you don’t ask me for charity.  You will never know the truth!

Las Vegas Trip Report: Royal Flush!

Sunday, December 26, 2010 – Day Thirteen of Nineteen

[This is part thirteen of a nineteen day trip report.  If you would like to start at the beginning, go here.]

I wake up at the Orleans at 9:30 and an hour later I am downstairs for my last few hours here before I move to the Imperial Palace.

My quarter Double Double Bonus video poker machine is free so I give it $40 as a going away present.  Sigh.

I have a comped meal at the Orleans coffee shop for breakfast and then get going on a Carnival of Mystery slot machine:


I put all the winning tickets back in to play off the change.   I cashed out for $80 in the end.

Continue reading

I have to hurry it up to go and get my bag and check out.  Of course, the hotel elevators are not working again.  Sigh.

After I finally get to my room, FINALLY get back downstairs, I checked out and took a cab to the Imperial Palace.   It is popular opinion among Las Vegas addicts that the Imperial Palace is a dump.   It is popular opinion among the rest of the Earth’s population that most Las Vegas addicts don’t really know the meaning of the word “dump.”   This place is not fancy and you can have it for $20/night.  I however, have it for zero because I am comped.

I am given room 1880.   See what I mean?  It must be nice to have lived such a cul de sac namby pamby lifestyle that this room is considered a dump.

Imperial Palace bed Las Vegas

These rooms come with balconies.  You might think that most people would want Strip view but being that there is the world’s loudest bar down below that goes from noon until infinity, rooms away from the Strip are more popular.  I however, have center Strip.

Look! Bellagio fountains!

view bellagio fountains from Imperial Palace Balcony las vegasAnd of course, the beautiful night view:

view of Cosmopolitan, Bellagio and Caesars from Imperial Palace Balcony Las Vegas

The Imperial Palace has nickel Ultimate X video poker, making it the only Strip casino that has this in nickels.  I love Ultimate X and even in my most degenerate of days, am still way to petrified to try quarters.

I sit down and put a $100 bill in.  I play for a bit.  Then.

ROYAL FLUSH!  No multiplier of course.
royal flush

Next win is four of a kind twos with a kicker AND a three times multiplier:
2s x 3

Cash out $350!

The Imperial Palace also has Cleopatra Keno!  Also available in nickels.  Of course, I play it in quarters though.


Room at 2:45 for a nap.

Up at 5:00

Went completely degenerate.  Lost $100 in Ultimate X.

Dinner is at the Burger Palace inside the Imperial Palace.  All the people who call the Imperial Palace a dump, swear you can die of food poisoning from standing within a 100 yard radius of this place.  I managed  to survive though.

After my delicious meal, I played Cleopatra quarter Keno and won $100 twice!  I cashed out never!


Las Vegas: Eights into Sixes into Eights into Sixes.

Saturday, December 25, 2010 – Day Twelve of Nineteen: Merry Christmas!

[This is part twelve of a nineteen part trip report.  If you would like to start at the beginning, go here.]

I wake up at The Orleans with my huge $35 win from last night in tact.  I go downstairs with $170.  This is a sure sign of degeneracy because The Orleans is off strip so there is nowhere for me to go.  Thereby, I do not need that much money in ONE casino.

I managed to get it up to $220 and played back down to $170.  See?  I told you I was degenerate.

Quarter Double Double bonus video poker.  I hit four of a kind eights into sixes and back into eights.

quarter eights1quarter sixes2quarter eights

Continue reading

I head back to my room at 8:30 with a cheese Danish for breakfast.

Today is Christmas and my present to myself is a spa treatment.  My appointment is at 11:00.   It was so incredible.  I typically go the Palms spa every time I am in Las Vegas to use the Las Vegas Advisor 50% off coupon.   Since I am now Sapphire at Boyd, the spa discount + the off strip prices make this treatment cheaper.   It was also so much better.  Who knew?

I play some more quarter Double Double Bonus video poker afterwards and hit four of a kind sixes again.

quarter sixes

I cash out when I am down to  $65.

My next $20 gets me a $120 cash out, thanks to four of a kind twos.

quarter twos

It is now 1:00 and I stop for food.

I stop back at the room to apply lucky glitter on my new cash and to see just how much that new cash is.   Woo!  It is $250.

I put $50 away and decide I will do two $100 sessions.  Someone is on the machine that blessed me with my morning wins.   I kill time by getting an iced coffee at Seattle’s Best and the rat bastard is still on my machine when I get back.  Fine, slots it is!  I play a Carnival of Mystery slot and turn $15-$30.  But I want to play Double Double Bonus video poker.  But that guy is still on my machine.  So I do what any degenerate gambler would not do and I go to my room for a nap.

At 9:00 I am dressed and debating staying in because I am tired.  But I am also degenerate and a degenerate does what a degenerate needs.   I go back out with $95.

I play nickel Keno and turn $5-$20

I play Carnival of Mystery again.  Two people surrounding me each won four digits on Twice Your Honey slot machines so i had to try it.  $5-$25.  Never cashed out.

Back to Carnival of Mystery.  Hit $180 line pay and then the bonus came immediately after.

carnival of mystery 180I cashed out with $200 and get this, actually kept it and went to my room.  Who am I and what have I done with Jennifer?

The hotel elevators are not working, and there are more people waiting than there are dollars I have lost so far during this trip.   Eventually we were escorted up in the service elevator.

Once I am in my room of course, I decide I am hungry because I never ate dinner.  I only bring $35 down with me, $30 is to play and $5 will be the tip on a comped meal.

A Cleopatra slot machine steals my first $5.

Nickel Double Double Bonus video poker takes another.

Carnival of Mystery gives me $20 for two fives and then takes $15.

Dinner is at the Orleans coffee shop.  I really hate: waiting to order, waiting for my food, waiting for the check.   What if I am missing my intended eleventy billion dollar jackpot waiting for these things?

After eating, I put my last $20 in a Carnival of Mystery slot machine and watch  as my credits go down to zero.

Bed time.

Las Vegas: Moving from Binions to the Orleans

Friday, December 24, 2010 – Day Eleven of Nineteen

[This is part eleven of a nineteen part trip report. If you want to start at the beginning, go  here.]

All I want for Christmas Eve is my first quarter royal…

I wake up at the California hotel.   I am out at 9:30 and bee lined it to Dunkin Donuts at Fremont for some iced coffee and some SuperTimes Pay video poker at my most favorite SuperTimes Pay machines in all of Las Vegas.

$20-$45 – hitting four of a kind sevens with a 2x multiplier.

nickel sevens
Continue reading

$20-$30 by being dealt a full house with a 3x multiplier.

full house x 3

Binions quarter Double Double Bonus video poker:

Four Queens, quarter Double Double Bonus video poker: $20-$0.

Nickel Double Double Bonus video poker $5-$0.


Today I am checking out of California and leaving Downtown.   I will be at the Orleans for the next two nights on a comp.  I take a cab and pay with a credit card as I do not want to give up all my newly lucky glittered bills.  I did not realize there was a service charge of $3 for using a credit card.  That $3 will stick with me just as long as the stupid $1.08 from Dupars will, and that will be forever.

At the Orleans, I get room 1764.  The toilet never stops running.


roomroom viewMy offer comes with a $10 food credit.  I use it for a cheddar cheese omelet at the coffee shop.

My offer also comes with $5 free slot play from a mailer.  The intent is to play $40 and free play and go to the room for a nap.   I almost do this but then…

I bet you thought I was going to say “I decided to gamble more” didn’t you.  Well I didn’t.  I did go outside to get some Diet Pepsi and got a movie from Redbox while I was out there.

I am in the room at 1:30.  I take a shower, put on pajamas, watch a movie and have yet another failed attempt at a nap.

I go back out at 3:30.  I lose $20, never wrote on what.

Nickel Double Double Bonus video poker:
$5-$40 Aces.  I have not seen Aces in days and it figures when I do, it’s on nickels.

nickel aces

Keno $5-$0

Twice Your Monkey slot machine: $5-$0

Carnival of Mystery slot machine:
$5-$90 (EEE)

I mosey on up to an All That Glitters 2 slot machine and there is a penny on heads next to it!  Finally, I am going to win eleventy billion dollars!!!


What the hell?  That’s not eleventy billion dollars.  Screw you All That Glitters 2.  I’m going home.

I stop and get take out at Fuddruckers and take it back to my room to watch a movie.

Out at 8:00

$20-$35 – four of a kind fours.

nickel fours


I decide to keep the $35.   That’s right.  I continually put back hundred dollar wins.  But that $35?  That I keep.   Sigh.

Good night.

Las Vegas: Why Do I Keep Winning Decks of Cards?

Thursday, December 23, 2010 – Day Ten of Nineteen

[This is part ten of a nineteen part trip report.  If you want to start at the beginning, go here.]

It’s official!  My trip is more than half over.  This is bullshit.

After my ordeal of moving rooms at the California hotel last night, due to my room being flooded, I actually manage to sleep until 10:30.  That is a record for this trip.

I head out at 11:45

Lost $15 Keno.

I found my glasses case in my bag from when I moved last night. I broke a $100 bill and went back to my room to get rid of the glasses case and to put lucky glitter on my new bills.  Back out, I made it halfway to the Golden Gate before I realized I hadn’t put on deodorant.  Back to room AGAIN.  Oh it is going to be one of those days, eh?

Continue reading

It’s now 12:15 and my day is finally just starting.

Back to the Golden Gate to have breakfast at Dupars.  I used a $10 comp slip because the Golden Gate insists on using comp slips.  Three cheese omelet, ended up paying $1.08.  This will never stop grinding my gears.  I have comps.  Why am I paying anything in cash?  But they will not let you get a comp slip for $11.08.  It has to be in increments of $5.  If you get a $15 slip, then you lose $3.92 because the overage will not be returned to your account.  Infuriating.

I still play here though.  You know, racking up more comps that will cost me money not only in the machines, but in the restaurant.

I find an old school Moolah slot machine – not to be confused with Invaders From the Planet Moolah.  I play this:


Used my pee pass to take the Deuce bus away from Downtown.

I got off at the Stratosphere and went in for some Starbucks.

I played Double Double Bonus video poker quarters and lost $80.  Then I lost another $20 in a Press Your Luck slot machine.

I walked over to Sahara to take the bus to Palace Station.  Today was the first time I had seen blue sky in many days.

blue sky las vegas nevada

The bus took forever to come.  I could have walked in less time than it took.

At Palace Station, I play nickel full play Double Double Bonus video poker and lost not only $15, but my Diet Pepsi.  Argh.   Topped this off by losing another $100.  This was my first visit to Palace Station in so many years and I am being punished.

I take the bus back to the Sahara to do the daily free pull.  I win nothing.  Sigh.

I play a Barkin’ Bucks slot machine.  This game is so adorable.  I turn $40 into $60.

It’s 4:30, I’m going back downtown.

I do my typical stop at Dunkin Donuts for iced coffee and start playing video poker.  Where?  Damned if I know.  You would think it would be on my favorite SuperTimes Pay machines right outside Dunkin Donuts, but the pictures say otherwise.

too blurry sixesquarter twos
$20-$30 on four of a kind Queens and then $20-$0.

Maltese Fortune slot machine: $20-$20.

Frog princess $20-$0

Back to the Golden Gate to rack up more comps that will just end up pissing me off.  I turn $20-$0 on Monopoly, and $20 to $0 on Wizard of Oz.

Golden Gate has a drawing that you earn tickets by playing.  I stick around since I have several entries and hey, who knows?

They award prizes from smallest value to largest.  One prize is $200.  Some guy wins it and forfeits it as you can only win one prize and he wants a bigger one.  Soon after, a camcorder comes up.  Same guy wins it and again forfeits it to not have to give up a bigger prize.    Finally we get to the grand prize: an enormous flat screen television.  Do you want to guess who won it?  Do you?


The guy’s WIFE won it.  How does this even happen?   Maybe it has something to do with him being a bigger degenerate than I am and had way more entries than anyone else.  Even while the drawing was going on, he was playing slot machines while they were calling names.

I walk over to Binions and play around until I have enough points to do the daily promotional swipe.  I have played enough to get two swipes today.   I further assume I lost a lot of money because nowhere in my notes is what I played documented and surely I would have written if I won.

For the first spin, I win another freaking deck of cards.  STOP IT WITH THE GIVING ME DECKS OF CARDS.  THIS IS NOT A PRIZE. IT IS A BURDEN.

My second spin awards me with $15 free slot play.  Much better.

I get a Binions burger to go and bring it back to my room for dinner.

Fremont Street Experience Christmas show:

Fremont Street Experience Happy Holidays Las Vegas

After eating, I decide to stay in my pajamas and my DRY bed for the night.   Good night.

Las Vegas: That Time My Hotel Room Was Flooded

Wednesday December 22, 2010 – Day Nine of Nineteen

[This is part nine of a nineteen day trip report.  To start at the beginning, go here.]

Up at the El Cortez at 9:00, out 9:45. I have one last meal at Cafe Cortez to use up my dining credit here.

Cleopatra Keno: $5-$0

Four card Keno:

Quarter Double Double Bonus video poker:  $80-$120 by hitting four of a kind too-blurry-to-post-a-picture-of-sixes and a dealt Straight Flush!

straight flush Continue reading

Today I am checking out of here and moving to the California hotel.  At check out, my room bill is wrong since my dining credit should have been applied at $20 per day and not $60 total.  Since a couple of days I was over $20, and today I am under $20, she has to play with it to get it to work.  She does and my bill is $0.

It’s P-O-U-R-I-N-G out.  I mean monsoon like.   On one hand, this is fine by me since I am usually lucky in Las Vegas when it rains.  Come on BIG MONEY!   On the other hand, I don’t have much of an interest in walking my luggage to the California in the rain. I ask the El Cortez bellman if he can call a cab for me. He had their driver take me to the California for ten bucks. I don’t know if I was supposed to tip on this? The guy is not a taxi driver. But I gave him $15. Better to be safe than sorry.

At California, I get room 1133, last one in the hall.

California Hotel and Casino Las Vegas room bed

These rooms come with a refrigerator, but they do not come with Las Vegas luggage.  You have to bring your own.

California Hotel Las Vegas room

View of the pouring rain outside my window:
California Hotel Las Vegas room view in the rain
I drop off my bags and head to Dunkin Donuts for iced coffee. It’s 11:30.

Fremont Double Double Bonus Supertimes Pay:

I had two Binions promo chips from doing the “Spin the Wheel” promotion on my last Las Vegas trip, so I head over there. I don’t play table games (nor do I know how) but the internet told me I could use them on Roulette and just bet one on red and one on black. I did this and won $5.

Binions quarter Double Double Bonus video poker:

$20-$80 by hitting four of a kind fives:

quarter fives

I have enough points to do the swipe promotion again. This time I win $10 food credit. That’s so much better than a deck of cards.

I play around some more because you know, GAMBLOR.

Life of Luxury slot machine: $20-$50
Crystal (something?) progressive slot machine: $20-$0
Sex in the City slot machine: $100-$0 (yikes)

Then because clearly I am beyond degenrate, I start playing dollar video poker.

Thankfully, I hit four of a kind sevens and cash out with $300.

dollar sevens

Do I stop there? Um, NO.

Miss Kitty slot machine: $20-$0
Geisha slot machine: $20-$0
Ducks in a Row slot machine: $15-$0
Triple diamond Keno $5-$0
Four card Keno $25-0 and then another $25-$0

I now have enough points to get a second swipe on the spin promotion and I win a free Binions burger!


Monte Carlo Royale slot machine:

Make my way back to California and here I play a Maltese Fortune slot machine: $20-$0.

Quarter Double Double Bonus video poker:

I take a break to go to room to situate myself and add lucky glitter to my new money.

Out with $105, my aim is the Golden Gate and instead, ended up going to the Plaza as it was screaming for me to come inside.

It is so DEAD in here. I played some slots:

All That Glitters 2:

I Love Lucy: $20-$0

It is still pouring outside.  I love the neon reflection when it rains on Fremont Street.

Fremont street rainneony rainFremont Street East rain

I am exhausted and want my bed. I go to my room. I put on pajamas, brush my teeth and crawl into bed with a book. It is so comfortable and I just let out a pleasured sigh and then IT happens. I put my arm under a pillow. It feels frozen under there. What the…my bed is wet. SOAKING wet. What the hell is going on here? I get out of bed and note that the side of the bed away from the room door is completely soaked through, as is the carpet. I was walking on it making this discovery and the water was so deep in the carpet that it would rise up and go over my foot. What is this?

Does this look wet?  No?  Maybe that’s why I got into it in my pajamas.  ARGH.
California Hotel Las Vegas room

I call the front desk. I say “My room is flooded” and the check-in-ling tells me to come down and she will give me a new key. Not that she will send someone up with a new key to help me move or anything. Not even an apology actually.

I am in my pajamas. I am exhausted. I don’t want to get dressed. So fuck it, I don’t. I go down to the lobby in my pajamas, with no bra on, wearing these slippers:

As I get off the elevator, the check-in-ling is waving me over with my new keys in her hand. She didn’t even verify I was me or apologize. I still to this day have never received an apology, even after writing a letter when I got back home.

Now I go back upstairs to move all my stuff. I didn’t want to pack and I was being a total child throwing a temper tantrum about this. Rather than pack and just move my bag, I keep going back and forth between the two rooms with a few items at a time in my left hand, while holding my right hand up giving the finger to any security cameras that might be watching me.

My 9:00 bed time has now become an 11:30 bedtime. Screw you California Hotel.

Las Vegas: Dropping My Bus Pass in a Toilet Gives Me a Catchy Title!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010 – Day Eight of Nineteen

[This is day eight of a nineteen day trip report. To start at the beginning, go here.]

This trip is going by way too fast.  Sigh.

I wake up at the El Cortez at 9:00 and I am dressed and out by 10:15.

I stop at the El Cortez coffee shop for breakfast and charge it to my room to use up some of the dining credit that came with my offer.  I write in my notes that I am only going to play a little and go back and watch movies.  Let’s see if I do that.

I have a 2x points multiplier from a mailer.  I get it activated at the slot club booth and get going.

Cleopatra Keno:

I return to the room at 11:30, up $20.

Continue reading

I get back into my pajamas and watch “Valentine’s Day and take a nap.  When I am back up, I fill my backpack up with laundry and take that with me while I do a double errand trip of returning my movies to Redbox and laundry.  It is more fun to do laundry in Las Vegas, sitting outside at the Circus Circus KOA, looking at all the Airstreams and people with dogs and day dream about being one of them, than it ever is to do laundry in Brooklyn

I get back downtown at 5:00 and I have barely gambled at all today.

I make a dinner reservation once again at the steakhouse at El Cortez, to try and use up this dining credit. It is 4:45 now, my reservation is at 5:30.

I am going to play Cleopatra Keno while I wait:

I then make my way closer to the restaurant and put at $5 in a Rawhide slot machine and win $30!

Dinner is Filet Mignon, mushrooms, potato.  I’m still under the $60 food credit. I am determined to make it. This would be easier done if I would stop using coupons to cut my bill in half.  But I can’t stop myself.

I stop back at the room to put some lucky glitter on my bills. I am back out with $160. Same exact amount I had before doing laundry, buying cigarettes and tipping the server at Roberta’s.

Its 7:00

Cleopatra Keno:

Four card Keno:

I manage to leave the El Cortez twice in one day and head to Fremont for Dunkin Donuts iced coffee.

Fremont casino entrance Las Vegas Nevada

Oh hey, let’s play some SuperTimes Pay Double Double Bonus video poker!

$20-$60 by hitting four of a kind 4’s with a kicker
$20-$30 by hitting Jacks
$20-$40 by dealt Kings

I would show you visual proof of all these things but the pictures are so so so so blurry and full of flash orbs.  Sigh.

Binions, you’re next!

Quarter Double Double Bonus video poker $60-$0

I needed nine points to do the swipe promotion at Binions.  So far in this trip, I have won $10 food credit (and TWO decks of cards) doing it.  I would like another dining credit so I stay here to play.

I am $30 into a Life of Luxury slot machine and hit a bonus for $140!   By now I have been playing a while so surely I have racked up nine points.  I go back and discover my Life of Luxury play did not register.  Oh fuck you.  I am out of here.

It’s 8:45.  I walk over to the Deuce bus stop and take the bus to the Stratosphere.   This picture if from a different day of the trip, but I have to show you SOMETHING to make up for the wins photos malfunctioning!

Stratosphere Las Vegas Nevada

I have not been here in a really long time so why not?  I need a new card.  I cannot find the player’s club booth. I end up circling the casino more times than I care to.  Just as I am about to give up and leave, I spot it!   It seems that I have two accounts, so the boothling merges them for me.  I have zero points on either I am sure.

Before playing, I stop at the rest room and my bus pass fell out of my back pocket and into the toilet.  Going forward, it is now known as a pee pass.

I play quarter 8/5 Double Double Bonus video poker:
$20-$100 hitting four of a kind 2s
Press Your Luck slot machine: $20-$0

Me and my pee pass go back outside and get back on the Deuce.  Back downtown, I stop at my room to get situated and to glitter up my cash again, before going back to Binions.

Life of Luxury slot machine: $20-$0
Double Double Bonus video poker: $60-$0
Life slot machine: $60-$0

Now I have enough points to do the promotional swipe.  I win $25 free slot play.  Totally worth losing $140 for!

I use it all in a Cleopatra Keno and lose it all in a Cleopatra Keno.  Dammit.

Back to the El Cortez.

Four card Keno:

I am in bed at midnight.

Las Vegas Trip Report: A Very Boring Day, Thank You Radio Shack

Monday, December 20, 2010:  Day Seven of Nineteen

[This is part seven of a nineteen day trip report.  To start at the beginning, go here.]

This morning I actually slept until 9:00 and when I did wake up, all I wanted to do was go back to bed because I do not feel well.

I have a DVD player with me.  Once upon a time, I was flying Southwest Airlines.  They do not have an inflight entertainment.  This was fine by me as I usually just listen to music the entire flight.  My sister however, was horrified at the thought of me flying without anything to watch so she shoved her DVD player down my throat.  On that trip, I discovered that on longer trips, I actually like spending a night (or two) in the room watching movies in my pajamas.  Since I do not feel well today, I decide I want to do this.

I try to plug it in to charge it before going out.  Instantly I am livid.  The charger that I bought back in NYC the day I left (since I lost mine) was the wrong one.  Radio Shack gave me the wrong one.  I WILL KILL YOU RADIO SHACK.

Continue reading

I go outside to Binions for breakfast with a $10 food comp I got in the point swipe promo a couple of days ago.  Then I play and lose ten bucks.

Since Radio Shack ruined my day, I decide to get on a bus and head for Sahara.

Sahara hotel and casino Las Vegas Nevada

There I play nickel Double Double Bonus video poker:

$5-$15 Jacks

nickle jacks

Keno $10-$0

Invaders From the Planet Moolah slot:

Sahara has a free slot pull every day where you can win a prize.  I win $5 free play today.

Once I am done, I started to go to Target to buy a new charger but then found out there is a Radio Shack at Meadows Mall.  Since I bought the charger the day I left, I actually have the bag and receipt so maybe they will exchange it for me.  I go back downtown to my room to grab the bag.  I also grab the actual DVD player (even though I had it with me when I bought the original charger and that did squat) because I am not going to survive if I have to do this three times.

The bus to Radio Shack just left and now I have a 45 minute wait.  I get to Meadows Mall and suddenly am reminded that people go to malls at Christmas time and I should not be in a mall at Christmas time.  Oh the horror that is the human race.

I exchange my charger and am told that not only did the New York idiot give me the wrong charger, he overcharged me as the charger came in two parts and he erroneously charged me for each part when he should have combined them.   I got a partial refund.

It is pouring outside.  As I walk to the bus stop, the bus passes me and I go bolting for it.  The driver waits for me and I get on, only to realize I am on the wrong bus.  I stay on it until we reach a stop that it connects to the Sahara line at and then I take that to the Deuce, stopping at Redbox along the way.

This whole ordeal took me three hours.

Back at the El Cortez, I play some Cleopatra Keno:

Time to eat.  I’m up fifteen bucks!

Once again, dinner is at the El Cortez steakhouse.  I need to use this food credit up!

I get in some last play before heading to the room for the relaxing and movie watching I planned to do about eleventy billion hours ago.

The one Multi Strike Supertimes Pay machine known as “Crack” is taken.  Always.

All the Cleopatra Keno machines are taken.

I try some four card Keno that I won $200 on yesterday.


I am in my pajamas at 8:00 with a Diet Pepsi and movies.  Finally, ahhhhhh.

Las Vegas Trip Report: Turning Free Play into a $200 Keno Win!

Sunday, December 19, 2010 – Day Six of Nineteen

[This is part six of a nineteen day trip report.   To start at the beginning, go here.]

It’s official, my trip is 1/3 over.  How does this keep happening every time I go to Las Vegas?  Sigh.

I wake up at the El Cortez at 7:00 am, I am out at 8:00 am.

My first stop was at the front desk.  I am staying here on two different offers.  One ends today and the other starts today.  I have to check out of my first reservation and into my second.  In theory, I am now all set for another three days in the same room.  I didn’t go back to make sure my keys would still work, which was probably a huge mistake.  Today’s offer is three nights for $99, which comes with $60 dining credit and $33 free play.  I kind of wish those numbers were reversed.  $60 dining credit is a bit much for a solo person at the El Cortez.  Especially if you have just ended a three night stay where you ate at their steakhouse twice to use up the dining credit that came with that offer.

I am actually leaving downtown today!  I need to break my cycle of going back and forth between my favorite video poker machines.  I  take the Deuce bus to the 202 bus and make it all the way to the Gold Coast before I start gambling today.

Caesars fountains:

Caesars Palace Fountains Las Vegas

Continue reading

Gold Coast: Lost $40 in Keno.  Sigh.  I take a break to have brunch at the buffet.  After I try Keno again . My result is turning $15-$20.  I am out of here.

I take the free Gold Coast shuttle back to the Strip and then catch the Deuce bus back downtown.  So much for my big trip away from Fremont Street.  The Deuce definitely has way less people than normal but people are still the worst thing ever.  Why do people wait until they are on the bus to take out their wallets.  You know you are going to have to pay.  Take it out before you board and stop holding up the line.

Obviously, once I am back downtown, I get an iced coffee at Dunkin Donuts.  Hoping to continue my luck from yesterday, I pick Binions as my starting point.

Quarter Double Double Bonus video poker:
$20 – $0
$20-$40 didn’t cash out

I have enough points to get one spin on the promotional wheel.  I won a deck of cards.  For those of you who are just joining us, I now have won TWO decks of cards on this trip. You are jealous.

$20 on nickels: $0
$40 quarters to four of a kind Sevens and I cash out!

stp sevens

Next up is Kings and Threes.

stp kingsstp threes

I cashed out at $200. I have no cash left, only TITO tickets. So I go and cash those and when I come back, my machine is taken. Of course it is.

Play Rawhide: $40-$0

Back to the El Cortez.  I run my $33 free play through a nickel 4-card Keno game.  Last hand hit 8/10 = 4000 = $200 woo!   This is the free play dream.

keno win

Up to room and my keys don’t work. Of course they don’t.  Yet another trip to the front desk.

After a break in my room, I go back out at 3:00.  I don’t want to lose my Keno winnings so I only take $100 and break it into $5 bills so penny and nickel games it is!

Rawhide: $15-$0
Crack: $5-$0
Penny something – did not write what: $25-$20
(Something that looks like shark?): $10-$0

Nickel keno:
$20 in 4-card – $60
Lost everything

I took a walk to Walgreens for some Diet Pepsi before watching Survivor and ended up in for the night.


Maharaha Hooka Cafe

Las Vegas Trip Report: Binions Shows Me Some (De)Gener(ate)osity

Saturday, December 18, 2010: Day Five of Nineteen

[This is part five of a nineteen part trip report.  If you want to start at the beginning, go here.]

Is it day five already??

Up at 6:30 am at the El Cortez.  I just can never sleep in Las Vegas.  I get dressed and am out at 8:00.

I lose $60 in the quarter Double Double Bonus video poker progressives at the El Cortez that I love so much.

I head out to try the Fremont buffet and it’s not open.  It never is whenever i actually try to go there.  Like seriously for years, whenever I go there, it is closed.  It makes me want to eat there just because I cannot eat there.  Screw you and your mind tricks Fremont Buffet!

Pass through Binions, lose $20 in an Amazing Race slot machine.  Maybe I should actually go on The Amazing Race.  It seems I would have a better chance of winning money that way.

Continue reading

I go to Golden Gate thinking I can get a comp for breakfast.  But they still use the comp slip system and the slot club doesn’t open until 9:00 UGH.  Two breakfast strike outs in one day.

I play around a bit and lose $20 on All That Glitters 2 and it’s still only 8:49.

Kill some more time and finally get my stupid comp slip and use it at Dupars, which has replaced the Bay City Diner.  Breakfast comes to $11, my comp is for $10.  This system where you have to get a comp slip instead of swiping your card to use your comps is so aggravating.  You can’t get an $11 comp so you end up paying a dollar when you still have plenty of comps left in your account.

Next stop is Fremont for Dunkin Donuts iced coffee, as always.  I stop and play Supertimes Pay here.  Out of all the Supertimes Pay machines in all of Las Vegas, this bank is my very favorite.  I am playing nickels because I am a degenerate gambler who needs to slow down her degeneracy.

Second $20 gets me $35 via hitting four of a kind threes.

Then because I am a degenerate, I run through, $100 on quarters. I get a ten times multiplier and have two pairs. I am sorry every video poker player ever. I only held the Queens.  I ended filling in two full houses and cash out at $200

That win gives me the green light to try another $100 which I turn into $0.

Wizard of Oz, $10-$30

I can’t read my handwriting but it looks like I lost an additional $60.

Four Queens:
$20 into Barking Bucks = $0
$20 Double Double Bonus video poker = $0
$20- $100, hit four of a kind fours WOO HOO

quarter fours

Quarter Double Double Bonus video poker: I put in $20 and on my last hand, I hit Queens and cash out when I am back down to $60.

blurry quarter queens


Next $20 gets me four of a kind sixes.

quarter sixes

Before I hit my cash out point, I hit four of a kind fours, bringing me up to $175. Now we’re talking!

quarter fours1

I put in another $20 and hit Aces  for $200.  Things are looking up in Degenerate Gambler Land.

quarter aces

Binions has promo swipe where you can get a free swipe for a certain amount of points.  I had enough points for two swipes.  I won a deck of cards and a $10 food comp.   This was quite a successful session.

I return to the El Cortez for a nap at 2:00, I am back up and out at 5:00.

I am not going to push today’s luck so I go out to gamble with $100 in $5 bills.

Cleopatra Keno, $15-$0

Nickel Double Double Bonus video poker $5-15 9s

Sea Monkeys slot machine: $5-$0
Gold Monarch slot machine: $5-$0
Wild Hunter Shark slot machine: $5-$25 by hitting a $25.75 bonus
I cash out and put in another $5.  I hit three bonuses and cash out with $20.

I have $105, so I am up $5 for this session.

Dinner is at The Flame steakhouse at the El Cortez.  I have food credit with my room and I’m armed with multiple 50% off coupons from both the American Casino Guide and Las Vegas Advisor coupon books.  I am starving and tired.

I feel so out of sorts. I order a Diet Pepsi, which usually cures my feeling like this.  Lots of whining about no one bringing my drink.  Lots more whining after it finally comes and does not cure my headache.

Back out after eating and i check my progressives, everything was hit.   I lose $40 playing anyway.  It is like an investment in my future for when I get that money back tomorrow by hitting a progressive.  Right?

Played a Giant Panda slot machine (why) and lose $5.
Nickel Cleopatra Keno, not my friend tonight. I lose $5.

Okay. You know what? FINE. Screw you the El Cortez, I’m going home. And by “home” I clearly mean my bed, located inside of you. Take THAT!

I am asleep by 11:00.