Las Vegas Trip Report: The One Where I Won Money

Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that I am posting for the entertainment of Las Vegas addicts and anyone else who loves fun.  It was written back in 2008.  Most of this information is now outdated and some places mentioned no longer exist.

Friday, December 26, 2008 – Day Fifteen of Twenty One

I wake up at Fitzgeralds in a very hot room.   Today’s notes do not have me whining about my trip being almost over.  Go figure.

I go downstairs and play a Wheel of Fortune slot machine for some reason. I lose my money so fast. How the hell did I used to play games like this exclusively? I walk near the front (or back?) of the casino and I see a weirdo video poker with a wheel.  This one spins when you get a full house.  It’s a coin dropper, so it’s old and not new. I’ve never seen it before. It takes 20 nickels.

Fitzgeralds old school weirdo video poker with a wheel

I play. I get two regular ol’ four of a kinds.

Then I hit aces for 3200 nickels:

fitz wheel aces

Then I hit 3’s for 1600 nickels:

fitz wheel4oak 3s

I cashed out with $325.

I forgot to mention this, but when I was in Fitzgeralds the other day, I saw they removed both my old school coin dropper triple line nickel video poker machine and my Monopoly machine. Those two were MINE. Mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine. They are both gone. The video poker machine doesn’t shock me, that poor baby was old. But the Monopoly? That’s just rude.

So as I’m walking through the casino to cash in my nickels, I see her! My video poker machine! There she is! Oh god I thought she was retired. But no, it’s her. Old and roughed up. I love her. I put money in her and get nothing.  Sigh.

I get McDonalds for breakfast (SHUT UP) and am back in my room by 11:00. I open my bag of McDonalds and instead of a bacon egg and cheese biscuit, there is a CHICKEN BISCUIT in the bag. Ew get OUT of here get out get out get OUT I HATE YOU. YOU ARE NOT BREAKFAST YOU ARE GROSS I HATE YOU.  Ugh.

I am annoyed. I “napped” which means I laid down for 45 minutes and gave up. I showered and got dressed.

Downstairs back to weirdo wheel video poker and $60 turns to $0.  Happy Days – I put in $10 and right before I hit zero, I get the free spins bonus and win $10 and cash out. I eat lunch at the Shamrock Café at Fitzgeralds (or is it called something else now? I think it is). I get the All American Breakfast.  BREAKFAST!

Afterwards, I go to the El Cortez to run up 500 points to do the daily slot tournament tomorrow. I lose. Lose. Lose. Lose. Lose. Lose some more.  Keep losing. Lose again. Oh hey, lose. Hey, lost some more. Gross.

So I attempt to hightail it out of there.  But then on my way out, I see the progressive quarter video poker machines I love so much. I want to play. I put in $20. I get down to the last $1.25. I am dealt four 3’s and by gosh by golly, I have just won a progressive!

The progressive amount is highlighted. It’s $200+ (I don’t remember the exact amount). I am excited. I very very very carefully hold the 3’s and hit the draw button.  I am confused and my heart starts pounding very HARD because I think I must have missed a three when holding the cards.  The $200+ amount is no longer highlighted and the machine isn’t freaking out while adding all my credits.  Then I realize that on the draw, I got a kicker for the fifth card!  The $200+ isn’t highlighted because DUH I no longer won that, I won the progressive above it – $351!  The credits aren’t adding up one by one because it’s a progressive win – see?  It says right there “cash $351.00” Eeeeee!!!!!!! I take a picture (of course)  But I can’t post it because  I don’t have it.

Let’s flash forward.  I lost every single picture on my camera because I’m an idiot and accidentally deleted them. I did this on my last day of a 21 day trip. Every picture. I cried, literally, I was so upset.  My sister Googled for me and found a program that restores pictures. After flying home I went to her apartment and used it.  It worked. I got my pictures back. I cried, literally – this time for joy. I then burned them all onto a CD and brought them home. I took out my notebook and matched up every picture to my book (I kept a list of every single picture I took – EVERY SINGLE ONE) and every picture has been recovered except my progressive win.

I was going to DRAW you a picture of my progressive win, but I don’t know how to draw anything.  So basically, close your eyes and picture four 3’s and one 4 with “cash $351.00” on the bottom right of the screen and you can see my win.

I took the money and RAN back to Fitzgeralds.  On my way back to my room, I stop at nu-wheel video poker and my notes say “I got a 4oak but I don’t remember what it was and I didn’t take a picture”.

Now I’m back to my room again and god help me what was I thinking? I see a Quick Quads game and I put $100 through it and never get a quad ever. ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS.  This is the second time in this trip I have done this (okay the first time was $120). Why why why? Really? Why. Of all the money I have lost this trip, the Quick Quads losses are what most grinds my gears.  Ack – as I go back to my notes I see I lost $120 this time too, making it $240 total. YOU IDIOT WHY DID YOU DO THAT????????? I HOPE YOU GET TRAPPED IN A SLOW MOVING FITZGERALDS ELEVATOR THAT STOPS AT EVERY FLOOR AND ALONG WITH YOU ARE SEXTUPLETS IN NEED OF A DIAPER CHANGE. BAH.

I’m back in my room at 4:15. I try and nap again, cant. I go back out hit the Four Queens to use my double points coupon from the American Casino Guide. It’s good to double up to 100 points but I just can’t get near 100.

I lose and lose and lose. They have a Big Event Big Bank, which is pig themed. It’s so cute but the games associated with it (one is Gem Hunter, I forget what the other one is) never pay ever. So it’s impossible to keep up to play the community bonus.  Like seriously, you are betting (let’s say 40, I don’t remember) credits and 99.999999% of your line wins are only 20 total per spin. ugh.  But I want to play the community bonus with the cute little pigs. BAH BAH BAH BAH BAH I am miserable and losing and HATE.

I finally just give up and stop at 78 points and move on. I walked over to Magnolias inside the Four Queens for dinner.  The line was so freaking long I did not want to deal. So I instead, opted for bed.

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