Las Vegas Loses Danny Gans

Friday, May 1, 2009 – Day Eight of Eleven

[This is part eight of an eleven day trip report.  If you want to start from the beginning, go here.]

I am up at 7:30 at the California.  I have the news on when they break through with a special report to announce Danny Gans died.  If you are unaware of who this is, you are not alone. I had once watched an interview with him where he joked about being famous for not being famous.  Outside of Las Vegas, he wasn’t well known.  But in Las Vegas?  He was a top tier celebrity, the modern day entertainment king of this city, “The Man of Many Voices.”   He was the very first Las Vegas entertainer to warrant a $100 ticket price and at this price, his shows were forever sold out.  I had taken my mother to see him and she absolutely loved his show.  Being in Las Vegas, and watching this unfold live on the news was very shocking.

Okay, brush it off.  Let’s go outside.

I go out to Fremont where I lose $200.  I didn’t write on what.   I hate when my notes are like this.

Moving along.

I get breakfast at the Golden Gate coffee shop and they remember me now.  I had stolen some packets of Equal from one of my trips to Dunkin Donuts so I’m psyched to be able to have COFFEE here today.  They only have sugar and Sweet N Low and both of those things suck.

After I’m done with breakfast, I go and put my card in a machine and sure enough, that mysterious free play is back – $5.

I am done pretending I have any self-control and instead of breaking my $100’s into fives, I just play with $100 bills now.  Luckily I only lose $20.

Time to check out of the California and into Fitzgeralds.  I get room 1206.

Fitzgeralds room Las VegasFitzgeralds The D Las Vegas room view over Fremont Street Experience

Fitzgeralds is famous for having the world’s slowest elevators.  So this sign is a good sign!


There is no ashtray and no do-not-disturb sign in my room.   Hate on both those things.

My offer here came with $50 free play.  My goal is to turn it into $50 cash.   I do this but then I lose it

I come up to my room with McDonalds (yeah yeah I know.)   I go to take my Diet Pepsi out of my bag and I realize it’s not in my bag and is likely next to a slot machine guarding the money I left inside of it.  I Now have to go to the vending machine and buy a Diet Coke (and you think MCDONALDS is gross?)  It’s my lucky day because not only do I get my Diet Coke (gross), I also get a regular Coke for free, that has been sitting in the drop thingy for long enough that its now very warm.

I drink the warm Coke because warm coke is probably better than cold Diet Coke.  The sugar makes me instantly exhausted and I pass right out cold for a few hours.

When I’m back up I go back out.  I play a quarter Elvis slot machine just for the hell of it and I win $50.

Over to the Golden Gate where they have a promo starting today that for every 100 points, you get a scratch card for a chance to win free play.  I sure wish they had this promo when I was going degenerate a few days ago in this very casino.  I get three scratch cards and get $25 free play.  I win NOTHING with it.

I head back to Fitzgerald’s and outside I see this lovely gentleman:

no homo

And by “gentleman” I mean “jackass.”   Oh and also JACKASS – last time I checked, GLUTTONY was considered a sin so I guess you hate yourself YOU FAT ASSHOLE I HATE YOU.

There is a gay pride something going on.  I’d guess “parade” but I didn’t see one.  Gays everywhere amongst the jackasses who have nothing better to do than to hold up anti-gay signs.  Sorry, anti-SIN signs.  Assholes.   Hate.  Haaaaaaate.   HAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE.

I play around Fitzgerald’s.  Tried the “free steak dinner with 4oak” machines and won!

Wooo!  I got a voucher that was good until December.  For the record, it’s for the coffee shop, not for Don B’s.

I kept playing and had a bunch of little hits.  Those really add up if you do not put them all back in.  Before I knew it, so many hours had passed and I was up $50.

Tonight is an early bed night, 10:30.

Want to read more?  You can find the next chapters here: nineten and eleven!

3 thoughts on “Las Vegas Loses Danny Gans

  1. Pingback: Las Vegas Trip Report: The Time We Saw Danny Gans (RIP) | i put my life on a shelf

  2. Pingback: Las Vegas Trip Report: That Time I Got a Room with a Mirror on the Ceiling | i put my life on a shelf

  3. Pingback: Las Vegas Trip Report: The Day I Hit a $626 Progressive Jackpot | i put my life on a shelf

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