Las Vegas Trip Report: Have Bad Luck, Will Travel

One thing I love about waking up in Las Vegas is that anything can happen on that day.  You legit have no clue what notes you will be writing out when you get back to your room tonight.  This morning I am looking out my window at the California hotel at 7:00 am and wishing for the gambling gods to PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE before I get dressed and go out for the day.

I am out by 8:30.  I find a penny on heads outside the elevator.  Excellent sign.

I play my Buffalo machine here and lose.  I decide to put a $20 into quarter Double Double Bonus video poker machine and lose that too.  As I am playing it, I have the realization that I have barely played any video poker this trip.  This probably explains why I am doing so terribly.  My last trip was Buffalo win heavy but I was just incredibly lucky.

That said, I walked over to Binions and played BUFFALO.  Nope, still not a winner.

I wanted to have breakfast at Magnolia’s at Four Queens since I have accumulated a bunch of comps here, but the line in insane.  Back to Binions I go.  I get an omelet and have to pay a couple of dollars for it.  Such sacrilege in a town where I am used to comps.   I get an iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts and try the casino in Binions again.  The only win I get is the Motherlode promotion which gives me a free root beer float.  I’ll save this for later.

Back at California, I go to the ATM because I have to go to the ATM.  Dammit.  It has been quite some time since I have played this particular machine.  I don’t like it very much.

I play around a bit.  I get a surprise feature on my Buffalo machine and win $50.  I am back in my room at 10:30 am.

All Boyd players will forever remember that time when Boyd didn’t do offers for a tiny bit, while they were redoing their system to have all properties included on offers.   I was so happy when the offers came back.  But I am bludgeoning all future offers by losing and not playing anywhere near what they would like me to.  But I am not playing that game because my days of taking long trips and needing as many comped nights as possible, are long gone.

I nap and go back out.  I take the WAX bus to MGM Grand, with a change purse full of quarters to play Sigma Derby.  Nope, all the seats are taken.  Now I have to lug these quarters around haaaaaaate.  I play a $20 in Keno and lose it instantly, disgusted with myself.  Who the hell authorized me to put money in a Strip machine when I was on such a losing streak?!?

I use a MyVegas reward for a very early dinner buffet.   It is priced at $42.99 for the holiday, yeeeeeeesh.  Do people really pay these prices?   I suppose so.   This buffet is not the best.  But for free, it is worth the cost.  I get a line pass, which I first thought was related to it being a MyVegas reward.  But nope.  It is because I am now Pearl.  I had no idea.

I leave here and take the bus to Orleans, where I lose some money.  Then I take the shuttle to Gold Coast.  It does not go right to the Gold Coast.  It stops at the Strip first.  It no longer stops at Cromwell, but back by the High Roller.  It would be convenient to go to Ellis Island if it were not a bazillion degrees outside.

boyd orleans gold coast strip shuttle

At Gold Coast, I have a coupon for $10 slot match play from Las Vegas Advisor.  I get on a small winning streak.

First up:

quarter four of a kind queens

Second up is four of a kind threes, that I do not have a photo of.  But you can see evidence of it in the totals in round three:

quarter four of a kind nines

I want to keep playing so very badly.  Like I never want to leave ever.  But because I am on such a suck streak, I have to leave while I am absolutely definitely ahead.  I am sorry magical machine at the Gold Coast.  I will be back to visit you, I promise.

I go outside and take the bus to Ellis Island.  I have coupons for free play here, and for a free t-shirt.  I lost the free play and then I lost $75.  And I lost my pride at having walked out of Gold Coast instead of going degenerate.  I should have gone degenerate at a machine that was paying me.  Such goes gambling.

I got back on the bus and went to Longhorn.  I love this place.  I actually looked into staying here on this trip.  They now charge a $6.77 resort fee, which I find infuriating.  It includes laundry facilities.  Does this mean you can do your laundry for free?  I would like to know.  I did my laundry here when I stayed here over a year ago.  And I paid for it.  If the laundry is now free, then the $5 slot match play they give you at check in + laundry, cancels out the resort fee.  If laundry is not free and they are actually listing having a washing machine that you pay to use, as part of what is included in the resort fee, then fuck you.

longhorn casino las vegas

I played here for hours.   I got here at 9:00.  When I left, it was 1:00 am.  I had the American Casino Guide for $5 free play.  I put that and a $20 into four card Cleopatra Keno.  I never hit zero.  I never got over $60.  But I got hours of play.  This was so much fun for me.  Just playing.  I haven’t really done this at all this trip because I keep losing.

Once I realize I am almost out of cigarettes, it is time to leave.  I took the BHX bus back.  It leaves you on Ogden and Las Vegas Boulevard.   The walk on Ogden back to California is fine.  Some people are scared of Ogden. The Gold Spike used to be very frightening to people.  Now the sidewalk outside is full of younger people, super drunk and super stupid.  And also super predictable with a girl on her cell phone screaming at her boyfriend, then bursting into tears about it to her friends, who assure her she can do better and let’s go get drunker.

As I continue my walk,  my thoughts are of this and how Vegas has certainly changed if Ogden is no longer scary.  Then I find myself frozen with fear, the only body part I am able to move are my vocal chords, which are vibrating with me screaming.   Because up ahead, is a roach the size of an airplane.   I don’t know what to do.  Wait yes I do.  I will cross the street. He starts walking towards the street.  He is now like a black cat who’s path I cannot cross, but he is not leaving me with a choice as he appears to walk even faster than I can.   Do I stay on the sidewalk as he is now in the street?  Do I cross the street?   What if he makes it across before I do?  What if I do not cross the street and stay on the sidewalk and he reverses and comes back to kill me?  Why are there no cars coming to kill him?  Where are all the drug addicts, murderers and rapists who are supposed to be lining this street?  WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME?!?

Fuck this.  I run past this thing.  RUN past this thing.   I run to the light and bolt across the street against the red light.  Once there I feel safer.  But I continue walking quickly until I am safe inside California.  WHEW.

I go to my room and pack for my move to The Linq tomorrow.  But I don’t want to move to The Linq.  I really do want to stay there since I have not.  But I don’t want to deal with having to go to the airport from there.  Before I left home, I had priced Four Queens for my last night and it was around $70 on every site I checked.  I decide to check it again now, ten hours before I would be attempting to check in.  And I found it for $45 on Orbitz.  Quick math of The Linq resort fee + probably a cab to the airport = SOLD.  Four Queens it is.

And off to bed I go.

10 thoughts on “Las Vegas Trip Report: Have Bad Luck, Will Travel

  1. Mike Rosen

    Great story … you mirror the heart of a true vegas visitor …and its ” that anything can happen on that day” that keeps us all coming back!

    Reply
  2. Anonymous

    Just caught up on your trip report and loving it… Sorry it is soon to be your last day but glad you are staying down town… I always loved down town…

    Sorry you are having a loosing trip though so far… Hoping your luck will change

    Reply
  3. Mark

    Thanks for a great trip report . Hope to read where your luck changes for the better soon. One thing I have always loved about your reports is that you do get around all over the valley every day . Great reading let me tell you . Look forward to more .

    Reply
    1. jenniferjennifer Post author

      I didn’t get charged a penalty because I cancelled before 6:00 pm. I made sure to read the fine print before doing so. The only thing that would make me madder than paying a resort fee, would be a cancellation fee.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

CommentLuv badge