Las Vegas Trip Report: March 27, 2002: The One Where I Am So Stupid

Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that was written back in 2002.  Most of this information is now outdated and a lot of what is mentioned no longer exists.  

Wednesday, March 27, 2002 – Day Four of Six

Once again, my mother and I wake up at the Barbary Coast.  I am feeling better, but much disoriented. Why is this happening to me? I normally spend my casino trips very drunk and lacking all sleep. On this trip I am sober.  We are resting during the day AND getting eight hours of sleep at night.  Perhaps I am just not cut out for this lifestyle.

We went to the Rio for breakfast. As we are sitting there eating, I realize that today is WEDNESDAY. Why are we eating at the Rio when I had reserved the Bellagio breakfast via Wagerworks for today?!?! What is wrong with us? I plain forgot we were supposed to go to the Bellagio? Am I mad? I decide right then and there that this whole sleeping and staying sober thing is really making me stupid.

That said, at about 9:00 am we were done with breakfast and sitting down at Hollywood Squares nickel slots. I began drinking.

Hollywood Squares is a really fun game. We both kept hitting the bonuses. I cashed out because I wanted to go see what the Full of Sheep slot was all about. This is the most adorable game I have ever seen. The sheep are so cute and the sheep dogs are even cuter. I know they did this on purpose so that people like me would keep putting money in to look at the cute animals and it works. This game has very low sounds except for it welcoming you “Hello!  Welcome to Full of Sheep!  Play max credits” When you are playing in a bank of these machines, this is all you can hear over and over again.  I STILL have this stuck in my head.

While moving to a different machine because I am not doing well, I look down and my credit card is on the floor. My bag is open. Why is my bag open? I have no idea. I have a little zippered pocket on the front of the bag where I keep my ID, credit card, social security card and my emergency money. If the zipper is open (which it obviously should not be) whenever I open my bag, that part goes upside down and my valuables fall out.

I realize that my ID is also on the floor and I am missing my emergency $50 bill. Hello, Welcome to Full of Sheep. Play max credits.

Since I have my ID and my social security card, I act as if losing the $50 didn’t happen.

We stop playing Full of Sheep (Hello!  Welcome to Full of Sheep!  Play max credits) and go to the Gold Coast. We attempt to play Bingo. Surely this will be fun. Well, no it really wasn’t. We had no idea what we were doing. It is BINGO and we were so confused. Why can’t we figure this out? Why is it so quiet that everyone can hear how we can’t figure it out?  What is our problem?  Hello!  Welcome to Full of Sheep!  Play max credits.

Halfway through Bingo, we finally figure out how to play (what in the world is wrong with us!??!) and we lose. Big surprise.

We run out with our tails between our legs and head over to the Palms. I am down a lot of money. I play a Monopoly slot machine and get back up $25. My mother loses on every single machine.

We give up and decide to go to the Bellagio and see if they will let us have the lunch buffet with our Wagerworks vouchers, instead of the breakfast. They do. We eat. As we are leaving the buffet I realize we totally forgot to tip our server. What is wrong with us? We forgot we had a free buffet, I was walking around dropping everything I own, we can’t figure out how to play BINGO, we forget to tip the server… Hello!  Welcome to Full of Sheep!  Play max credits.

I run back and leave the server her tip – plus an additional $5 to make up for the annoyance I am sure she felt when she initially thought we left without tipping her.

We go back to the Barbary Coast for our afternoon nap. I am getting tired of all these naps. But I say nothing and just sit and look out the window for a couple of hours.

My mother wakes up and we head out for the night.  We took the Ballys tram to the MGM Grand. It was like a zoo with kids running EVERYWHERE. When did this happen? I never noticed this before. And I even stayed there once. Kids E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E.

We played Family Feud slot machines, I lose. We play Monopoly slot machines, I lose. We play Elvis slot machines, I lose. We play Totem Pole slot machines, I lose.

Time for dinner.  We are eating the MGM Grand buffet, courtesy of Wagerworks.  Even with the line pass, we had to wait close to an hour to be seated. Our server didn’t bring our drinks until we were almost done eating. I am not a fan of the MGM Grand buffet. I honestly don’t think I will even bother redeeming for it Wagerworks style for my next trip. I don’t even think it’s worth the price when it’s free.

We walk to the Excalibur and pass the September 11 t-shirt memorial. I actually got emotional over the memorial. Which is odd because I didn’t really get emotional when September 11 actually happened. I live in New York and work in Manhattan. I was at work when it happened and I can remember every specific detail of it. I will never forget the panic stricken man on the street with his headphones on, who stopped and looked at me and said “the South Tower just fell”  I never got emotional. I think I was just so shocked out of my mind and trying not to panic, and concentrating on getting home.

But this memorial got me really upset. Just seeing all the signs and pictures and notes. I don’t think I ever let myself really think about what happened that day. I blocked it all out and seeing that memorial really made me think about it and I got really upset.

We had a very somber walk until we reached the tram. Once there, we were surrounded by happy people and my spirits lifted again.

Mandalay Bay – lost $50. Luxor, lost $50. Excalibur, lost $50. New York, New York – lost $50. Boardwalk – only lose $25 because that is all I have left.

We walked back to the Barbary Coast, stopping to check out the Bellagio fountains from the street. There were a bunch of empty glasses lined up and some kids (i.e. teenagers) were kick boxing them into the water. I must be getting really old because I just referred to teenagers as “kids” and also because I wanted to yell at them. Goodbye youth, goodbye money – hello rollaway bed. It’s time for Hello!  Welcome to Full of Sheep, er, I mean sleep.

Play max credits.

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