If you are just joining us, this is a Las Vegas trip report for my annual Christmas trip to Las Vegas. You can find part one here.
Despite going to bed at 3:00, I am up and wide awake at 6:15. Nope, not because I am in Vegas. Not because of the time change. And not because the machines are screaming my name. But because of the bathroom window.
See, Orleans has windows in their showers. That means that while you are showering, you can have this pretty view.
Although I wouldn’t suggest maybe viewing it WHILE you are showering. If you can see these car windows, then the drivers can see you. Or maybe you are a voyeur. In which case, get thee to Orleans NOW!
The door for the bathroom is a pocket door. This means it opens side to side, and when open, the door is concealed behind the wall. They are also really, really, really thick. So I didn’t close the door before going to bed because (a) I am not accustomed to having to and (b) I fear getting up to pee in the middle of the night and slamming right into the pocket door and dying.
As I am awoken by the insanely bright sunlight flooding my room from the window in the shower in the bathroom, I flash back to this happening to me every time I stay here. Maybe one year I will arrive in daylight and prevent this from happening. I sure cannot count on my brain operating it’s memory function.
I count my money and at first get confused as to how I am short $100. This always happens in Las Vegas. A quick check at my notes explains this. Yesterday, I spent:
$20 on scratch off lottery ticket (I always leave a big one behind so that when I return home, I have one last chance to become a millionaire)
$3 on breakfast at work
$3 for water at the airport
$24 for a cab to Orleans
$2.25 on a Diet Pepsi at Orleans
$8 on dinner
I also have $13 in little bills. So I am really just missing $27. I rack my brain and then realize where at least $20 of it went. It went into the video poker game I took $200 out of. Isn’t that funny. After all these years, I still do “I WON $200!” But in reality, I had a $200 win and lost $20 so I really only won $180.
I will never know where the $7 went. Maybe it evaporated in the desert air.
My plan this morning is slightly different than my normal plans, and yet at the same time, exactly the same. It involves shoving money into machines. BUT I decided I was going to put $100 in a dollar video poker machine and play until I either hit four of a kind or zero. At $5/hand, this is so far out of my comfort zone. I decide to warm up by putting $20 into a slot machine. I cashed out with $20.04. Okay this is a good sign. Must be from that lucky quarter I have stashed in my bra.
I stop to fuel. My room offer comes with $10 dining credit. I ate breakfast at the Courtyard Cafe, which is temporarily located over by the buffet as they renovate O.G. Courtyard Cafe.
While waiting for my food, I started making notes, and as always, went to pull out my phone to note the time. My phone isn’t in my bag. It must be in the room. HEY. Remember the last time I was at Orleans and left my phone in the room and could not take a photo of my $940 win on nickel Keno? Maybe that will happen again!
There was some high school sportsball thingy going on at Orleans this weekend. There were so many high school kids in sportsball uniforms, traveling in packs. I had one of these packs in front of me when I went to pay for my breakfast. One kid was trying to pay for his pack’s breakfast with his mom’s credit card. She had given him her credit card AND her ID! He thought he should be able to use that, while also showing his own ID, to show the same last name. Nope. This took quite some time.
Finally I was free and I am going to do it. I am going to
lose play $100 in dollar video poker. Well I played lost $100 in dollar video poker. DAMMIT.
I go up to my room to grab my phone. My phone is not in my room. It is in my bag. I just didn’t see it when I was looking for it. That was a wasted trip that spanned the entire circumference of the never ending Orleans casino, and losing ten minutes of my life waiting for an elevator behind 238947 packs of sportsball kids. At least I can grab my 10% off coupon for that saves me $0.33 cents on an iced coffee at Java Vegas.
Iced coffee run complete, I then head to the player’s club booth. My offer came with $10 free slot play, that I need to have loaded. I also have the 2017 American Casino Guide, which has a coupon for $5 free play when you play $10. (American Casino Guide coupons are good as soon as the book is printed, so you can use them for a couple of months in the preceding year.)
I was not sure if I would be able to use the ACG coupon as you are only allowed one per calendar year, and I already used one in January. HOWEVER. The coupon for 2017 has been reduced. The one I used in January was for $10 free play. This one is for $5. Different coupon. So I ask if I can use this even though I used a different one in 2016. I get lectured, but not with the lecture I was expecting. I get told that since this is a 2017 coupon, I can use it now BUT I cannot use it again in 2017. Which is fine with me.
I get the $15 loaded and lose that AND a $20 on the Double Double Bonus video poker machine that was kind to me last year.
I then go back to the room and take a nap, this time with the bathroom door closed.
When I wake up, I look at my itinerary. I am supposed to go to the Excalibur to use a MyVegas reward for dinner. I don’t want to do this. Despite never having been outside today, I am convinced it is freezing out there. Maybe it is the whoooooooooossssshhhhhhhhhing sound that is coming from my doorway that convinces me of this. So I check the weather on my phone. Oh hell yeah it is freezing out there. I don’t want to walk across the parking lot and then across Tropicana to wait for the bus. This sounds like such an easy thing to do, but you forget I am in Las Vegas. Where parking lots are miles long, streets are six lanes wide, and buses do not drop you off anywhere near the places their stops are named after.
So I decide to just gamble here. And gamble I do! I found a bank of new Cleopatra Keno machines. That have four card Cleopatra Keno, YAY! That are formatted incorrectly, BOO. Just like the ones at Downtown Grand, these machines are set to maximum bet of four coins. Per game, not per card. So if you want to play four cards, you can only play one coin per card. This is frustrating. I stick to single game, even though the degenerate in me is having a conniption fit knowing that there is FOUR CARD CLEOPATRA KENO on here and I cannot play it.
I start with nickels and parlay up to playing quarters. I had two big bonuses and leave here with $220.
I then go back to my Double Double Bonus video poker machine from last year and hit Aces, no kicker.
A couple of other hits:
Surely now I should break the degenerate cycle brewing inside of me and GO OUTSIDE and head to Excalibur? Or maybe I could grab dinner to go and head to the room and read a book? I look at my phone and it is somehow 9:00 PM. How did this happen? It is legit too late to go to Excalibur if my only purpose is to eat dinner at their buffet. So dinner to go and my room it is.
Some people stay up all night in Vegas, drinking and gambling. I however, stick to a schedule that allows me to be up and out early AM. There is nothing I love more than having a casino to myself before the sun rises.
Gambling Day: + $250
Gambling Trip: + $430
Miscellaneous: (tips, coffee and dinner): $14.29
Comps used: Orleans hotel stay, $10 dining credit and $10 free slot play
Coupons: $5 free slot play from American Casino Guide
My planned itinerary for the day:
Saturday, December 17, 2016
Breakfast: Orleans $10 comp offer
Dinner: Excalibur 4-10 MyVegas
LVA: Palms $25 free play 1,250 slots, or 5,000 vp
ACG: Palms $10 free 400 slots or 3000 vp
ACG: Palms $50 free 2000 slots 15000 vp
Gold Coast play $10 get $5 free ACG