Las Vegas Trip Report: I Didn’t Go Degenerate (or Did I?)

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Today kicks off a twenty day trip to fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada.  But not before I work a half day, as a reminder of why I need to win eleventy billion dollars and never come back.

That global warming shit meant that I was leaving New York City when it was 70 degrees, and arriving in Las Vegas when it was in the 30’s.  The past couple of years, it has typically been colder in Vegas than back home, but this was a huge first world problem.  I did not want to wear my winter coat in 70 degree weather, I needed it for Vegas.  Luckily, I am an expert packer and not only did I only need a carry on for twenty nights in Vegas, I had enough room in there for my winter coat.  Score!

I was selected for pre-check, which I absolutely love.

I ended up gate checking my bag for free because I wanted to make sure I did not get stuck having to keep my laptop bag under the seat in front of me.  I hate having things under there, I feel like it constricts the flow of oxygen.

My flight was delayed, but it was nowhere near as much doom and gloom as the news was reporting.  I guess all the fog in the city was really messing up flights.  My flight only arrived in Vegas a mere fifteen minutes late.  We had no form of entertainment on this flight, unless you consider an announcement asking if there was a doctor on board, entertainment.  I don’t know what was going on, but whatever it was, caused the flight attendants to have to make several announcements for people to stay in their seats.  I assume it ended fine since we were not met by medical or a coroner upon arrival.  Delta if you are reading this, next time I would prefer an individual television.

My luggage was coming out as I reached the conveyor belt.  Score!  Today I am using Uber for the first time.  If you need to find where to get Uber at Mccarran, allow me to help since signage refuses to do this simple thing.

From Terminal 1 (the old terminal) you take an elevator to the second floor (unless you are not picking up luggage, then you are already on the second floor) and go outside.  You cross the street and take the people mover to the elevator straight ahead and take that to floor 2M.  Uber (and possibly Lyft) pick up in the completely unmarked “shared ride” area.  It was confusing.   Uber isn’t a shared ride.  Adding to it that I don’t know how to use Uber and as I am trying to figure the app out, I am being told my driver is on his way.  But I had not put in a destination.  Aren’t you supposed to?  I don’t know what I am doing HELP. Fortunately, my driver called me instantly and this was not a problem.

I had a $20 credit so my ride to Orleans was free, plus a $5 tip.  I was so pleased.  If I had not had that credit, I would not have taken a cab.  I probably would have taken the bus.

I check in and am given room 1711.  711, good luck!  Orleans has redone their rooms.  The only thing I really noticed was the new couch and chair.  Everything else looks the same to me.

(Please note how cute my cute little stuffed dog is)

orleans hotel Las Vegas Nevada room 1711orleans hotel room 1711 las vegas nevada

I charged my phone for as long as I could stand before NEED TO GO NOW and headed downstairs to gamble.

First stop, new player’s card since mine has gone missing.  Second stop, GAMBLE.  I found a machine who was pretty nice to me.  She gave me Jacks:
quarter jacks double double bonusThen I played A Christmas Story slot machine.  I was here for quite some time.  I finally cashed out with $80.

christmas story slot machine

And in comes typical Las Vegas dysfunction.  Obviously I want to keep gambling, I just got here.  But I am so wiped out that I cannot even think straight any longer. I tell myself that I am here for twenty days.  It is okay. I can go to bed. I think I may do this.  I went to the food court to get dinner to bring back to my room with me.  I stopped and played a Buffalo slot machine and won another $70.  But not before losing $60.  And then another $40.  Oops?  So close to going upstairs a big winner.

I get to my room and I can barely function.   If you have read every trip report I have ever written, you may know how much it grates my last fucking nerve when I do not have a “Do Not Disturb” sign.  OH THE HORROR.  I am so fucking tired.  I don’t want to be woken up by housekeeping.  There is a pad of paper in my room but no pen.  I somehow do not have a pen.  How the fuck do I not have a pen?  Why would I not put a pen in my bag?  There has got to be a pen in my bag. WHY IS THERE NO PEN IN MY BAG. I NEED A PEN.

I am walking around my room looking for anything pen shaped so that I can dip it in freaking leftover ketchup from my dinner and write “DO NOT DISTURB” on a piece of paper.  This is extremely difficult because I can never remember why I got up before I sit back down.  Then I remember and I get mad all over again.

It probably took me about twenty minutes between debating “Should I get dressed and go downstairs and buy a fucking pen to make a fucking sign” like ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, and finally remembering WHY I was standing up, to get this sign made.  In the end, I used my eyeliner.  That pissed me off too because this eyeliner was bought with a Sephora gift certificate.  Imagine my complete shock at walking into Sephora, picking up the first eyeliner I see, handing the cashier a gift card for $25 and discovering that was not enough to cover it.  Are you freaking kidding me?  $30 for fucking eyeliner?   That I am now using as a fucking pen.  Because HATE.

Finally I am all sorted and in bed by 11:00.

Spoiler alert:  When I wake up tomorrow, I stick my hand in my bag to get my itinerary out and the first thing I find is a pen.  Yeargh.

Let’s try and keep track of money, okay?

Gambling Day: + 80
Gambling Trip: +80
Miscellaneous: (Vitamin Water, cigarettes, Diet Pepsi and dinner): $30.64
Comps used: Orleans hotel stay

This was my itinerary for today.   i did everything on it!

Wednesday, December 23, 2015
Arrive: 6:43
Check into Orleans

5 thoughts on “Las Vegas Trip Report: I Didn’t Go Degenerate (or Did I?)

  1. Ger

    Great start to your trip Jen….

    I would have went out in the hall and got a DO NOT DISTURB SIGN from housekeeping… there had to be a housekeeper

    Cannot wait to read about your other 20 days

    MERRY CHRISTMAS

    Reply
  2. Joanne

    Oh my god, the story about the fucking pen cracked me up. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a hotel room where there wasn’t pen and paper beside the phone. Nice little starter win with the 4 of a kind. You are just getting warmed up.

    Reply
  3. knagl

    I have a friend… yeah, let’s go with that… a friend that may have been in the same situation, and I — I mean, he — may have grabbed a DND sign off another random door so he had one on his door. Just saying.

    Reply
    1. jenniferjennifer Post author

      I did that once because I had to – I was leaving the room vacant for a few days. But normally, I would never because KARMA.

      Reply
  4. Bill

    Next time you find yourself without a ‘do not disturb’ sign. Just walk a few doors down the hall and steal someone elses sign. I’m pretty sure that’ how your room ended up without one.

    Reply

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