Las Vegas Trip Report: A Day I Am Slightly Less Degenerate. Slightly.

Saturday, May 2, 2009 – Day Nine of Eleven

[This is part nine of an eleven part trip report.  If you want to start at the beginning, go here.]

This morning the Race For the Cure is going on outside on Fremont Street.   This depresses me to no end.  Having a mother die of Cancer will do that to you.

I’m awake at Fitzgeralds at 8:00 and out at 9:00.  Fremont Street is such a mess of people right now.

I play a little bit in Fitzgeralds.  Lose $10 on nickel Double Double Bonus video poker and turn $10 into $15 on a penny 25-hand video poker machine by hitting threes with a kicker.

I walked over to the El Cortez, a big mistake on my part since I eventually plan to go to the Strip.  I should have just went straight there as Las Vegas Boulevard is now closed because of the race.  Not to mention that there are a bazillion people over here.


I lose $10 on Invaders From the Planet Moolah and stop for breakfast at Cafe Cortez.

I am down a lot at this point in my trip, which means my note taking gets way more detailed.

I play nickel Double Double Bonus video poker and end my session up $25.

As I’m sitting there playing, a woman nearby is playing Lobstermania, which was my mother’s favorite game.  Between this and the Race For the Cure going on outside, I just want to go back to bed.

But I don’t.

I walk over to the Golden Gate and again I try to hit the progressive on  a Vibrant 7’s slot and instead I just lose $20.  Same on a Diamond Spinner slot machine.

I walk over to the shared bus stop for the Deuce and 108, knowing I can take either one.  Of course they are both pulling away before I can get across the street.

Deuce comes again; I take this to the Sahara.  I play Lobstermania when I enter and lose $5.  I walk past a machine called “Voyages of Sinbad” and I note there are five credits in the machine – FIVE PENNIES!  And I play it because I take it to mean good luck and oh hey NO it’s not and I lose my $5.

I stop at the player’s club booth to get my daily free pull that the Sahara offers to anyone with a slot card.  I win $5 free play and I am told I also have $15 cash so I grab that too.

I want to play either Invaders From the Planet Moolah or nickel Double Double Bonus video poker, but they are all filled. I lose the free play in a triple line nickel video poker game and get the hell out of there.

I take off down the strip on foot; it’s faster than the Deuce.  No joke.


Fontainbleu Las Vegas

I stop at Slots a Fun to get my free Diet Pepsi, courtesy of the Las Vegas Advisor coupon book.  It’s the little things in life that I enjoy most.

From there, I walk past all the waste of space that used to be the Stardust and the Frontier.

waste of space waste of space1

From there to Encore.  Both theirs and Wynn’s marquee signs are honoring Danny Gans, who was found dead yesterday.  His theater was located inside Encore.

Encore dark marquee Danny Gans Las Vegas

Danny Gans dark marquee outside Encore Wynn Las Vegas

danny gans rip

I play in Encore for my first time.  I lost.  I walk over to Wynn and I find a game called Maggie and the Martians and on my first spin I get a $28.70 line pay.

This justifies me giving the machine another $5 but it gets me nothing.


Encore Las VegasEncore Las Vegas flowersEncore Las vegas

Encore Las Vegas butterfly carpet

Palazzo construction:

Palazzo construction Las Vegas

 I walk over to Treasure Island and stop for some pictures.


Into Treasure Island to play some Slingo.  Someone is on my preferred machine.  When I sat down, she had over $200.  I watched her get up past $400 and mostly held strong at around $350.  She got bonuses nonstop.  I had the machine next to her and lost $15.

I take the tram to Mirage and lose $5 in Invaders From the Planet Moolah, and then find Slingo.  My first $5 gets me $10; my second gets me $25.  I cash out planning to leave with my winnings but then I spot a Slingo machine I’ve never seen before as I’m on my way out so I lose my wins in there.

Over to the Barbary Coast (don’t make me).  I walk around a bit trying to find something to play.  I see a woman hit $156 on a Wizard of Oz machine; she is only playing one credit per line.  She is my inspiration.

I play Wizard of Oz Wicked Riches for the first time.  I get a bonus for $20, followed by a bonus for $9.40.  I turn my $5 into $30 and then lose ten bucks.  So I’m up a whopping $15.  Remember earlier in the trip when I was playing quarter Supertimes Pay?  I do.

Walked over to Ballys intending to eat at the Sidewalk Cafe, I have a $5 off coupon but it’s closed.  Eff you.

Over to Paris – Le Cafe.  I’ve actually never eaten here before.  I have about $15 left in reward credits and oh hey – a burger will bring me down to zero!  I’m in!

I had to wait foreverrrrrrrrr to be served.  Then once I was, the waiter vanished and I didn’t see him again until about 15 minutes after I was done eating.  I had finished my soda long before that wanted another one very badly.   I had basically just walked from the Sahara to Paris in 90+ degree weather, I was thirsty.

I got tired of waiting and gave myself a refill from the Diet Pepsi in my backpack.  I had an “outside” table facing the gift shop.  I knew I was going to have to stop in that gift shop and spend $3 to replace my Diet Pepsi and I took this into consideration when I left my tip.

Leaving Paris, I congratulated myself on using all my reward credits (now I’m home and I see I have 20, where did those come from?) and now I don’t have to visit a Harrahs property ever again.  Not that I HAD to before, but ya know.

Over to Planet Hollywood where I want to use the Las Vegas Advisor $25 free play coupon.

The internet tells me I need to put a point on my card and then go to the booth.  So I get an iced coffee from Starbucks, sit down at a quarter 9/6 Double Double Bonus video poker game and start to play.  As soon as I ask myself “Wouldn’t it be awesome if I got a four of a kind while trying for my free play point?” I get this:

planet hollywood quarter jacks

Woo hoo!

I go to the booth and get my free play loaded.  Try to play it, it won’t work.  Try about ten machines, nothing.  I flash back to the poster on the Las Vegas Advisor website who claimed theirs didn’t work and everyone called him/her an idiot.

I start to walk back to the booth and I am stopped by a Love Boat slot machine. I played this in Atlantic City and I loved it.  I put my card in, free play won’t work.  Fine, I put cash in it and play.  I turn a $5 into $10.  I am dying to keep going but I know I should go get my free play fixed so I can use that instead of my cash.

I get to the booth and I am treated like I am indeed an idiot before being barked at “it’s on there.”  I explain I am not an idiot and it won’t work.  She prints me out a new card and says “This is the only thing I can do for you.”  I ask about three separate times in the conversation “The promo button is supposed to light up, correct?” and she tells me to hit “promo” and then “2”.  I ask again “but the button is supposed to light up?” and she tells me “promo and then 2.”   Okay you are never going to answer my question, let me go try this new card.

Guess what?  It doesn’t work.

I go back again.  This time I get a supervisor.  She offers to walk me out onto the floor to see what is going on.  While she is being very nice to me and not at all condescending, I know she is thinking that she will walk me to a machine, put my card in and prove that I am the idiot.   As she is about to step out from behind the counter, she says “you know what, let me check one thing real quick” and does some keyboard clicking and OH HEY.  I don’t have a pin number.  I say “I’ve always had one, that’s weird” and she says sometimes they “fall out.”  I pick a new pin and she walks me onto the floor.  We put my card in a machine and there you go.  Promo light flashing. I thank her and point to the boothling who’s tone let me know she thought I was an idiot and said “You may want to tell that boothling about the pin because she was very rude to me and talked to me like I was an idiot” and she said she would take care of it.

Off I go.


One thing I did not realize about the Planet Hollywood free play is that it automatically loads the entire $25 onto the machine you use it on.  I never would have put the entire $25 in Love Boat.  If I had known this, I would have played quarter Double Double Bonus.  Live and learn. I play for a while and take $80 out of this machine but then as I was about to exit the casino I had to put in $15 more.  Lost it.  Okay, just checking, I’ll see you later!

As I’m walking outside, a Deuce is pulling away.   When I reach the bus stop, a second one is pulling up and I’m the only one getting on. Is today my lucky day or what?

Back to Fitzgeralds.  Here I wrote “played Blazing 7’s progressives and won $21.62 and then got a line pay for $25.62.”  Weird how I don’t recall playing this game EVER.

Then I played a penny Eye of the Ancients slot machine.  Did $10-25, then $10-15, then $10-15, and finally, $10-0.

Played some nickel Double Double Bonus and hit nothing.  That stupid video poker with a wheel (not normal wheel poker, this is a weirdo one that as far as I know, is only at Fitzgeralds) and lost.

I go up to my room and my key won’t work.  Hate.  Go back downstairs; back upstairs.  This is such a pain in the ass with these awful elevators.  They have signs they are upgrading them.  But they had these signs in December and only ONE elevator is fixed.

I count my money.  I am up $10 from when I left my room this morning.

Right now it’s 7:12 and I need to be at the El Cortez at 8:00 for the Saturday night drawing.  I rest for a little while so I don’t lose too much money on my way over.

Head to the El Cortez and play nickel Double Double Bonus.  I net a $25 profit.

I walk over to the Saturday night drawing.  They call the first prize name first.  It’s for that 42” television.  The dude is there, goes up and claims his prize.  Then they pick out the second prize winner, SAME DUDE.  But they only allow you to win one prize so he has to forfeit it.   How lucky is that dude though?

Lost $20 in that stupid 7’s progressive machine and then tried the progressive Double Double Bonus video poker machines I am in love with and hit four of a kind Jacks..  Paired that with a full house and cashed out with $75.

quarter jacks elco

The royal progressive was up to $1784.  I just had to put another $20 in, HAD to.  I’ve been dealt threes on here, got the kicker on the redraw, got the Aces with the kicker progressive, I need the royal to complete my progressive collection.

I don’t get it.

As I’m going through my last allotted $20 for this game, the woman next to me gets dealt a four-to-the-royal straight flush.  She stops and shows the person playing next to her and they just kind of stare at it for a while.  I’m trying to not gawk.  She comments that she KNOWS she has to break it up and go for the royal.  All she needs is the Ace.  But she doesn’t want to.  This is a $62.50 winning hand.  But she has to go for the $1784 royal flush she is one card away from.  The suspense is killing me.  Finally she holds the four cards, dropping the 9.  She hits redraw and up pops the Ace!  Oh no!   RIGHT COLOR BUT WRONG SUIT.   GAHHHHHHHHHHH.  Damn that would have killed me.

But ya know what?  A couple of hands later she hits Aces with the kicker progressive.  So at least she got something if not THE thing.

I leave here up $40.  It’s 9:00 and I need to be at Fitzgerald’s at 10:00 for theirSaturday night drawing.

I head over to the Golden Gate and lose $20 but I make enough to get a scratch card, which gets me $5 free play.

I put that in an Outback Jack slot (why) and lose it.

Over to Fitzgeralds I go….

I have about five minutes to kill so I put a $10 in a Happy Days slot.  It looks like I’m going to lose and then I get back up to my $10.  It’s time for the drawing so I cash out since Fitzgeralds only allows you like 30 seconds to claim your prize.  But this stupid game has that thing where you can’t cash out if you have time left on the meter counting down your eligibility for the Mystery Spin bonus.  As I’m waiting to cash out, the bonus kicks in.  No.  Noooooooooo.  I have to GOOOOOOOO.

I finish in time and I don’t win the drawing.

I walk back to the Golden Gate.  Lose $30 on that stupid Diamonds machine.  But it gets me another scratch card, which gets me $10 free play. I’m doing great at these scratch cards. Why oh WHY couldn’t they have them when I first got here?

I walk back to Fitzgeralds and decide to claim my free steak that I won a few days ago by getting a four of a kind on their promotional video poker games.  It was okay, it was free.  When I’m leaving, my server gives me a coupon for 20% off at Don B’s Steakhouse.  But even with that, it seems useless for me being that you have to spend $50 in order to get the 20% off.  If I want to spend $40 on a meal…wait…let’s stop that right there.  I don’t want to spend $40 on a meal ever.

It’s now 11:20 and I am completely exhausted.

I put my last allotted $30 into an Eye of the Ancients slot machine and lose it.  Time for bed.  Oh but wait, not until I go degenerate again.  I blew $45 walking back to my room.  Sigh.

In bed at 1:00 am.

Want to read more?  You can find the next chapters here: nineten and eleven!

2 thoughts on “Las Vegas Trip Report: A Day I Am Slightly Less Degenerate. Slightly.

  1. Pingback: Las Vegas Trip Report: Video Poker with a Wheel Showdown | i put my life on a shelf

  2. Pingback: Las Vegas Trip Report: The One Where I Purposely Choose a Crappy Room Because I Am an Idiot | i put my life on a shelf

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