Las Vegas Trip Report: The Day I Hit a $626 Progressive Jackpot

Sunday, April 26, 2009 – Day Three of Eleven

[This is part three of an eleven part trip report.  If you want to start at the beginning, go here.]

I wake up at seven at the El Cortez, I am out at eight.  I have a $75 budget for this morning.

I use my Las Vegas Advisor 3x points coupon at the El Cortez. I should have used it yesterday since I ended up playing a bunch, but I didn’t plan to play a bunch.  This is how it goes though; you never can tell when it’s a good time to use these things.

My notes are absolutely AWFUL.   They say “Invaders From the Planet Moolah $60″.  Sixty what.  Did I put sixty in or did I take sixty out?  Hello?  THE PURPOSE OF TAKING NOTES IS SO THAT YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU WON OR LOST YOU IDIOT.

I wrote I got a $30 bonus on Viva Monopoly slot machine.  This game was pretty good to me the entire trip.

I went to Binions and got Eggs Benedict minus the pig part.  This is my favorite Las Vegas meal because making poached eggs at home is something I just cannot seem to accomplish.

It’s not even 9:00 am yet and it’s already 78 degrees.  It’s not supposed to be this hot at this time of year.

Binions is redoing their slot club.  Their machine readers now display points and comps.  However the entire time I am there, there are signs all over that you can’t swipe for food “today” while they are upgrading the computers.  This was going on for my entire trip.   I don’t know if they fixed it or not.

I had $10 free play and used it on a penny 50-play video poker machine and get my $10 back in cash.  I seek out the 10/7 Double Double Bonus video poker machines.  If you are looking for them,  they are by the Deal or No Deal slots, not Let’s Make a Deal as it says on the VP Free website.  I get nothing.

I try Viva Monopoly, nothing.  I try some progressive penny machine, nothing.  I try MEGABUCKS I get nothing.  I lost $130 in Megabucks.  What happened to my $75 budget?? What happened to me waiting to play Megabucks in the California casino??

Dammit.  Degenerate gambler coming your way.  I know how to fix this.  I’ll play MORE.

I go to the Fremont and get an iced coffee at Dunkin Donuts.  Then I put a $100 bill in Supertimes Pay video poker and play quarters.  I get threes with a kicker!   SAVED!

stp quarter threes 4-26-09

I cash out with $300, which undoes last night’s venture into dollar video poker.  Now I just have to undo TODAY’S madness.  Can I?

Back at the El Cortez, I try my luck with a Jade Monkey slot machine.  I turn my first five into $45 – by getting a bonus for $46.02. Then I hit Invaders From the Planet Moolah and I get a $70 bonus.  Wooooo.

There is some babbling on in my notes about blah blah not writing stuff down, need to write stuff down, blah blah blah.

I went to my room to nap and it says I was back out by 3:00. So all of this happened early in the day?   God that’s a big day already.

Once I’m back out, I play a Monopoly Up and Away slot machine.  I hate my notes “got seven shots in the cannon bonus, no idea what I won”  I played a penny progressive diamond themed machine and got $70.  Back to Monopoly, I got $100.  Note: I’m not writing down how much I am putting in to take these amounts out.  This is terrible.

I went back up to the room up $15 from when I left this morning.  My room keys weren’t working so I had to go back downstairs to get new keys.   I hate this.  My room is as far from check in as it could possibly be.  It’s not even in the same building for crissakes.

At 7:00 I have a dinner reservation for Robertas at the El Cortez.

[2014 called.  It wants you to know that Robertas is now named The Flame]

This is great.  My reservation is at 7:00.  Once I’m done eating, I have to be in the room to watch The Amazing Race on television. I don’t even have time to do damage, right?

At Robertas, I get my usual, Filet Mignon. As always it’s the best meal of my entire trip. I didn’t write down how much dinner came to/how I paid.  But I am pretty sure it was around $20 after a 50% off coupon from either Las Vegas Advisor or American Casino Guide. The coupon is in both.  Don’t leave home without them!  The remaining balance was charged to my room to be used against my food credit that came with my room offer. I leave a $10 tip.

It’s 7:47 and I have thirteen minutes to get to my room.  I go by the progressive Double Double Bonus video poker machines I am in love with and put in a $20.  Fuck I can’t find my player’s card.  I TITO out, get a new card, come back.  Now I have even LESS time to lose this $20.   Well HEY.  Oh hey.  OH HEY OH HEY OH HEY OH HEY OH HEY LOOOOOOOOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEE I HIT THE ACES WITH A KICKER AND WIN SIX HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX DOLLARS LOOK AT ME GO I WON SIX HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX DOLLARS I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON THE MONEY I WON THE MONEY!


I wish I had a better picture but I have gotten in trouble for taking pictures at the El Cortez before.  So I took this super quick and it came out really crappy.

aces kicker progressive el cortez

I hit the change button to get my free slot play.  El Cortez has a promotion, if you hit over $500 on quarter or over $200 on nickels, you get an envelope with free slot play inside.   The dude comes over and gives me my voucher. I go back to the booth and hand it to the boothling who had JUST printed me a card.  I  hand her my card and she says “you were just here; I still have your information up on my screen!”  Isn’t it great?  I pick an envelope and win $10 free slot play and get an entry to the next Saturday night drawing. I’m on cloud nine.  I was pleased to be up fifteen dollars for this session, I am now up over SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS for this session.

I make it to the room at 8:02.  Time always surprises me in Las Vegas.  This whole event took place in about fifteen minutes.  All of it.  Getting my card, getting my SIX HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX DOLLARS, getting my free play and getting to my room.  I love Las Vegas.

While I did suck very much at keeping session records, I did write that I was up $85 from when I left work on Friday.  This is great considering I had TWO bouts of degenerate gambling.

Normally I’d go to bed after television, but instead that $85 is burning a hole in my self control  so I go back out.  I get a bonus on Invaders From the Planet Moolah for $49.30.  Then I hit Monopoly Up and Away and get a 15-shot cannon bonus that gets me $79.14.

I played everything in this casino.  Every slot machine, every every every slot machine, played and played and played.  I kept going until my head was so fuzzy.  I could not even keep my eyes open anymore.  I got back to my room now up $25 from my allotted $85 budget.

It was just one of those truly great nights in Las Vegas.  I went to bed with neon hearts flashing on the insides of my eyelids.

Want to read more?  You can find the  next chapters here: fourfive, six, seveneightnineten and eleven!

2 thoughts on “Las Vegas Trip Report: The Day I Hit a $626 Progressive Jackpot

  1. Pingback: Las Vegas Trip Report: Video Poker with a Wheel Showdown | i put my life on a shelf

  2. Pingback: Las Vegas Trip Report: The One Where I Purposely Choose a Crappy Room Because I Am an Idiot | i put my life on a shelf

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