Las Vegas Trip Report: December 26, 2007: Yay! Screaming Kid on My Flight from Las Vegas!

Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that I am posting for the entertainment of Las Vegas addicts and anyone else who loves fun.  It was written back in 2007.  Most of this information is now outdated and some places mentioned no longer exist.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007 – Day Four of Four – Last Day

I hate hate hate waking up on my last day in Las Vegas.   Even though this trip is special because I’ll be back in less than a week, I still have to go home today and I just don’t WANNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I get up early at the El Cortez and go downstairs.  I manage to lose half of my day’s budget and it’s not even 9:00 am.  Way to go.

Of course, I head to McDonalds for my third morning in a row.  I will admit that on this day, I am a bit sick of Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuits.  But I just have to do it.  Just to be a dick.

Come back to the room and hide out for a couple of hours.  Pack my stuff up, rearrange my bag, check out, leave my bag at the Bell Desk and go.

Of course, first stop Binions, second stop – Press Your Luck.  I cannot stop it with this game.  I lost my $60 immediately.   Oh so it’s going to be one of THOSE last days, eh?

I now have $40 left from my daily budget.   It’s only like noon.   My flight leaves at 9:30.   Sure I have all my winnings but I hate hate hate hate hate digging into them.

I go find a Double Double Bonus video poker machine and play it.  It gives me a LOT of full houses, which is odd for me, and gives me some playing time.  I also ONE four of a kind which gives me some sort of budget back.

Time for a break and you guessed it – a Binions burger.

Back to Double Double Bonus video poker.  I’m begging it for Aces.  They don’t come.  I start demanding Aces, still don’t come.  I’m now threatening the life of this machine, telling it all the horrible things I will do to mutilate its every fiber if I do not get Aces.   I still don’t get Aces.  I am explaining that I need to get Aces to win my entire daily budget back and it just won’t budge.   Okay SCREW YOU I HATE YOU.  I’ll show you!  I’m going back to Press Your Luck.  Later, ASSHOLE.

I just can’t believe this machine.   The Big Event Bonus comes up pretty quickly and I get the “Trip of a Lifetime” bonus.   Normally it hits Paris (the lowest one, usually around $4, times your multiplier).  It hit Egypt a few times (usually around $11, times your multiplier).   Well this time it hits Hawaii – $90, times my multiplier (2) and there you go.  My budget is back.  Just like that.

The woman next to me had a four times multiplier so she got $360.   I am still doing my thing.  $20 in at a time.   Cash out when I double.   Once three $20’s are done, go to the cashier, cash my tickets and start all over again.   This requires me to get up a LOT.  And I do.   After the first round (where I got the $180 bonus), I went up to cash out with $320.   I come back and notice that the woman who had the four times multiplier (and won $360) now only has $50 left.  She is playing more than I am per hand.   And despite that big win, now had less than me.   I know from experience how easy it is to win and then lose it all.  This is why I’ve become so disciplined and I’m glad I stick to it.

I play until it’s time to leave for the airport and then I head back to the El Cortez to collect my bag and go.  It’s always a long wait for a cab here so this time I actually ask the bellman if I can get a cab and he calls one for me.  It shows up like five minutes later.   I don’t know why I’ve never done this before.   Hellooooooooo.

I get on the plane.  It’s pretty empty in the back and I have a whole row to myself.  This is great so I can sleep, because I am going straight to work from the airport.    This turns out to not be great because the last people to board included a screaming screaming screaming kid.   It gets in the row behind me and it’s all covered in tears and snot.  It’s standing with its mouth over my seat and begins to cough all over me.  I yell at the mother “Hey!  Tell your kid to cover its mouth!”   It keeps on screaming and screaming.  It finally stops once we take off.   I go to sleep.   I slept a few hours, and got woken up by the kid.   Of course.  I yell “Be quiet!” and it quiets down.   Then starts screaming again. I yell again.  It shuts up again.   I don’t understand why the mother isn’t trying this tactic, it’s her kid.   Tell it to shut up, clearly it works.  Just tryyyyyyyyy it.

But whatever.

On the third round of me yelling “SHUT UP” it now starts whispering very loudly.  Okay let’s give it credit for whispering, but at this point, I’m done and I know I won’t fall back asleep ever.  Immediately after coming to this conclusion, this kid starts kicking my seat.   I get up to go to the bathroom and try and shoot the mother death stares but she refuses to make eye contact with me.

You know, I might not be so angry when I see kids on planes, if seeing kids on planes didn’t automatically translate to “flight from hell”.  This woman didn’t even TRYYYYYYYY to shut the kid up.   And don’t even get me started on my flight from Chicago a couple of weeks ago where the father watched the kid pick his nose and wipe it all over the window shade and NOT SAY A DAMN WORD TO STOP IT.


We land in Atlantic City at 4:30 am. I cab over to Caesars to catch the 6:30 bus. I don’t stop and play anything, which shows great restraint.  Wait for the bus, get on the bus and try and sleep on the bus.  I manage to get in about an hour and a half until some woman’s cell phone rings and she starts a very loud conversation.  Argh.   She was probably an airplane screamer in her youth.

Arrive at Port Authority in NYC at 8:50, hop in a cab to my job and land right at my desk by 9:00.

My next trip is on Tuesday, six days away.  It’s kind of killing me because I have all these days off and I’m not in Vegas.  But it’s just the way it worked out.  Originally I was considering going to Europe.  This is why this trip was so short, I needed to be back home to go to Europe.  Then once that was scrapped and I found the $81 round trip airfare for the second flight, I just had to book it.

Now as I sit home on a Saturday night typing this out, knowing I won’t be back for another 72 hours, I regret my decision.  At least the two round trip airfares combined still come out to less than ONE trip from New York City! From New York City!

And that’s a wrap.

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