This morning, I wake up at Fremont Hotel for the last time and get in some last morning Cleopatra Keno.  Before heading out, I take a penny and throw it to see if it lands on heads (this means I will win) or tails (this means I will lose.)  IT. FUCKING. LANDS. ON. THE. SIDE. UP. AGAINST. THE. ARMOIRE.

YOU

MOTHER

FUCKER.

I stop at Dunkin Donuts, intending to pay for my coffee in all change because I cannot handle how many pounds of it I am accumulating.   I unzip the change compartment and drop my wallet.  There is so much change on the floor.  There is more change on the floor than there is at the bottom of Lake Bellagio.  I am so mad.  I pick up everything that is on heads, leaving behind who knows how much money, and pay for my drink and storm away SO MAD.

I start playing and I doubled a few $5 bills on Cleopatra Keno.  I went to visit my new bestie Double Double Bonus video poker machine and she gives me four of a kind sevens.

I went to Binions to eat a last comped meal here.   Then I played a Buffalo slot machine and won $80 after having lost $80.

I played here for a couple of hours.   I did everything from Keno to slots to video poker and back to Keno.  I got two Motherlode spins.  The first was a buy one get one in the cafe, the second one was $25 free play.  I used that and ran it up to $30 cash.

I stopped at the soda machine next to the Player’s Club and used a fuckton of nickels to get a bottle of Diet Pepsi.  My bag is almost at a manageable weight now!

My notes say “I have $290 on me and I have no idea how this is possible with all that I played.”  I definitely started the day with $200 so this is a win.

I went back to Fremont and packed to move to the Strip.  I booked a two night MyVegas reward at Mirage.

I waited for the CX bus.  I tried using nickels to buy a bus ticket from the ticket machine.  I broke the machine.  As I was waiting, the bus guy who stands there to answer all bus questions, seeks me out to yap at.  There are like 20 people looking super confused about what to do about the now broken ticket machine.  (There is one about five feet to the right that is not broken.)   He doesn’t help any of them.  He just stands there alternating between yelling at them that the WAX bus does not go to the Strip (it does) and talking to me about how horrible Las Vegas is.  He keeps lecturing me about how I shouldn’t gamble.  Who the fuck sent you?  Am I on Candid Camera?

The bus comes and I take it to Treasure Island.  One thing i like about this bus is that it stops on both the Treasure Island side of the Strip and the Palazzo side of the Strip.  This was my view from the bus stop.

I walk through Treasure Island to pick up my ticket to see Mystere.  I saw this just three months ago, and many times before that.  But I just love this show so much that I want to see it again.  And again.  And again.  I used a Cirque du Soleil gift card, which I got for a discount on raise.com.  I also had a $10 discount on for downloading their app, so a $50 gift card cost me $34.   I had a leftover balance on a gift card I bought a year and a half ago to see O, which covered the rest of the ticket.

I picked up my ticket and took the tram to Mirage.  The check in line was long, but moved fast.  When I got to the counter, the guy behind it starts off with “May I please….” and then stops and looks and says “OH!  Thank you for having your ID and credit card out!”  I give my usual “I don’t understand why people act like they don’t know they need to have it out!” rant.  Seriously, if a hundred people take a full minute to get it out at the desk, that is a hundred minutes that other people could be checking in faster.  He laughs and hands me my keys and off I go.

I open the door to my room and oh hey, I got an incredible view!

The room is very nice, as is expected.

I drop my stuff off and go downstairs to use my free play.  I realized once I am downstairs that I have left my reward print out in my room.  I have also left my keys in my room.  Mother fucker.  I have to go back to the front to get new keys.  There are a million people there.  I try at the mobile check in desk to see if they will print me a key.  Some guy tries to cut me on line.  I start yelling at him, he starts yelling back.  I push past him and the person behind the counter acts like this is not happening and reprints my keys for me.  I am just scoring all over the damned place here.

I go all the way back to my room.  This walk is hideous.  You never realize how far away the rooms are from the front desk until you walk it multiple times in a row.  I miss my Fremont room where the elevator was 43 steps from the casino.

I now am ready to go AGAIN.   I stop and get my free play loaded to my card.  I walk all the way to Starbucks for an Iced Cinnamon Almondmilk Macchiato and then I am ready to play.  I sit down at a quarter video poker game and at the last second, decide to not play it.

I turn and walk a bit and see an old school Buffalo slot machine.  I decide to play this.

The way free play works here is that you have to put in enough money to cover the first bet.  You play it and the machine reimburses you.  I put in a $20 and decide to see where I am after running the $25 through.   Since I am playing with free play, I decide to play max bet, which is $2.  Guys.

I decide to play down to a cash out point.

GUYS.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I decided to play down to $1800, hoping for a third bonus.  I got one, but it wasn’t a big one so I cashed out.

Can you believe this?!  A $1800 win.  ON FREE PLAY.

HOLY SHIT.

I went to my room with my cash and showed it to my cute little stuffed dog, who was very happy for me.  Not only am I rich, this now makes my plan of gambling in every Strip casino easier because I have a nice buffer of cash for it.

It is now 2:35.  I walk over to Caesars to play there.

I didn’t realize they got rid of their people mover until I tried to find it and it was not there.

I hate this casino.  In addition to always getting lost, I never win here.  But I had to do it.  I played some random slot machine near the door because no way in hell was I going to venture into the casino and not be able to find my way out.  I put in a $20 and as I reached the end, I got a $20 bonus.  Good enough, I can leave now!

I crossed to Cromwell and ran to the Ultimate X video poker machines I am in love with.   They keep moving the machines in that section all over the place.  I could not find an empty Ultimate X.  I played a quarter Double Double Bonus game and lost, and moved on.

Next up, Flamingo.  I made a beeline to a Buffalo slot machine and some woman beat me to it.  So I played one a big down the aisle and I got a bonus and she did not.  It kept retrigerring and the machine was LOUD.  That woman was so pissed off at me.

I lost my $20 thought and moved onto the Linq.   The entire entrance to the casino was empty, except for one woman sitting next to the only Buffalo machine up there, talking on her cell phone.  Obviously I sat down right next to her and she was so pissed.  SORRY HONEY.   I lost $100 solely because my money was going so fast and I wasn’t ready to get up yet.  This is what I hate about the Strip.   It feels like it is impossible to just settle in and play.   You lose so fast that you have to keep getting up and moving and maybe I just want to sit here DAMMIT.

I went from here back to my room to take a little break before going to see Mystere.  This is also where I am going to take a break from today’s report.