Category Archives: Las Vegas

Las Vegas Trip Report: Does The Winning Streak Continue?

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When we last left off, I was having a fantastic day of gambling.  I had the the second biggest Las Vegas win of my lifetime.  My top Las Vegas win was back in March on a Buffalo slot machine.  If you missed that one, you can read about it here.

I had retired to my room to take a nap.  A few people have asked me how I could nap after having such a nice win.  The simple answer is that I was quite content with my win and probably fell asleep dreaming of what I wanted to spend my money on.  Hint:  It will be used to travel.

When I woke up, I went back out and headed for Fiesta Rancho.   I like trying new places.  I also like going to Station casinos because they have cheapo cigarettes.  I walked to the bus singing “I have two thousand dollarssssssssss, I have TWO thousand dollars, I have TWO THOUSAND dollars, I HAVE TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS” because it is true.  I did have TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS of winnings from today alone in my room safe.

Oh and let’s talk about the room safes at Fremont, shall we?  They are in the closet (that does not have a door, which is fine.)  But there is a step up into the closet.  You can kind of see the step in this photo.  But only because I am telling you about it so you are scanning to find it, and then are.  In real life, no one is warning  you.  So every time you go to look lovingly at your wins, you smash your toes into the step.

fremont hotel las vegas step in closet

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Dear Diary: There Was A Mass Shooting in Las Vegas

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When I woke up Monday morning, I had a few texts asking me if I was okay.  I live in Brooklyn, New York.  I sat back down on my bed and took a minute or so to try and remember my dreams.  Did I hear a loud noise?  My window was open to let hoodie weather in.  No, I don’t think anything happened outside my bedroom window.  Did I sleep through my city getting attacked again?  Let’s ask Facebook.

The first post on my news feed was a photo, that I am sure everyone has seen by now.  Of a dark Mandalay Bay, with the text “Pray For Las Vegas” on it.

I feel like I dramatically clutched my chest and gasped aloud.  Las Vegas!?  What the hell happened to Las Vegas?  For this one, I went to Google.  There was a mass shooting in Las Vegas.  Without any conscious thought, my first reaction was to feel relief.   Then I felt disgust with myself for being relieved that it was only a mass shooting.  Then I morphed to wondering what caused such monster behavior in my brain.  That’s when I realized that I have been awake for ten seconds and I thought my city blew up while I slept.

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Las Vegas Trip Report: The Morning Dreams Are Made Of

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I am awake at 7:00 at Fremont Hotel in beautiful Downtown Las Vegas.   I love reading the notes I write in the morning.  So much whining about not wanting to go home tomorrow.  It turns out I priced flights home for the next day, so I could stay an extra day.   But they were $200 so nope.  I also wrote if I win $1000, I would buy a new flight home.   I do not remember writing this.  Let’s see how that goes, shall we?

I am out of my room at 8:00.   I count my steps and 41 of them later, I am at the Dunkin Donuts counter.

I decide to try a four game Buffalo slot machine here.  After almost losing $40, I got a $79 bonus.  It was less exciting and way more relieving.

I head over to Binions and right off the bat, look what I got on Cleopatra Keno!  That’s quarters, so $272.50.   Now we’re talking!
Cleopatra Keno 1090 credit win Binions Las Vegas

I walked from here to Main Street Station.  I have never played video poker at their Boar’s Head Bar.   This is a very well known video poker bar.  Guys, it reeks of vomit up there.  Like terribly.  Still I played and hit four of a kind sixes (no photo) and four of a kind tens (photo!)

quarter tens double double bonus video poker main street station

I have this brilliant idea to put the $75 TITO I got here, into a dollar video poker game.   Because I have never gotten a dollar royal and I am overdue.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaand I am still overdue because I hit nothing.

I have a $60 TITO left and I only ventured $40 cash so I am still up $20, despite having just lost $75.  Degenerate math in full effect ova heeeeeeeeeeyah.

I played some Ultimate X Double Double Bonus video poker in nickels.    YAY.

main street station ultimate x 5 x 4 main street station ultimate x queens x 4

I leave here and stop at my California Buffalo on my way back to Binions.  I am totally kicking ass today.

California Las Vegas Buffalo slot machine win 2400 x 4

Buffalo 15520 win

Oh wow!  You guys, I am doing it.  I am having the perfect Las Vegas morning.  This is the greatest thing ever!

I stop and play some Double Double Bonus video poker on quarters . The progressive Royal is $1670.  I want this so very badly but $100 did not get it, so I walk back to Binions.

I play around here a bit and before I know it, I have 40 points to get two swipes for the Motherlode promotion.  The first is for a free gift, the second is for $15 dining credit.  I take that to the coffee shop with me and get a cheese omelet.  The food here is always excellent, even more so when it is free.

It is 11:48 as I eat breakfast.  I am going to do a “cigarette after eating” stop and then go take a nap.

I sat down at a machine that was very nice to me back in March.  I play quarter Double Double Bonus video poker.  First hit:
binions quarter sevensThat glare bothers me.  I could not at all get a photo without it in it.  I  had the same problem back in March.

I keep playing.

And.

Get.

My.

Next.

Hit.

binions royal flush

Now I know what you are thinking.  You are thinking things like “Oh shit, Jennifer hit a Royal Flush!!!”  Well guys, I hate to tell you this, but you are wrong.

See.

I did not get a Royal Flush.

I got a Royal Flush AND ACES WITH A KICKER OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT LOOK AT IT.

quarter aces with kicker Binions Las Vegas

Holding one Ace.  Do you believe this shit?   I could not.  I just sat there gaping at it.

I cashed out for $1600 and went to my room to show my cute little stuffed dog what his mom did.  I also tried taking an obligatory cash spiral photo but i suck at it.  Not only cannot I not master a cool spiral, I only pulled out the Royal winnings and forgot to include the rest.  Oops?

make it rain las vegas

WOW.

And just like that, it is nap time!

Las Vegas Trip Report: Moving Downtown to Fremont Street

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I am awake way too early this morning.  But I have to be.  Because it is my last (and only second) morning waking up on the Las Vegas Strip during this trip.   I have coupons from Lettuce Entertain You, which includes a flat out $20 off Mon Ami Gabi.  No purchase necessary.   There are also coupons for $10 off Stripburger, $15 off El Segundo, $25 off Joe’s and $30 off Eiffel Tower Restaurant.

BUT before I eat, I must play.  Cromwell Ultimate X video poker:
Ultimate X double double bonus fours cromwell Ultimate X double double bonus video poker aces x 3 cromwell las vegas

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Las Vegas Trip Report: El Cortez Birthday Free Play

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Las Vegas! When we last left off, I was taking a nap in my room at the Flamingo hotel, after a busy morning traipsing all around Tropicana.

When I woke up, it was time to go to the Mirage.  I have two purposes for this.  1.  To  use a MyVegas reward for a dinner buffet.  2.  To visit my Buffalo machine that gave me an $1881 win back in March.

There used to be a Deuce bus stop outside of Flamingo.   I have no idea why, but it is now gone.  That means there are no bus stops going North, between Paris and Harrahs.  That’s pretty ridiculous.  So I had to walk to Mirage in 100+ degree hate heat.

I passed through the Wildlife Habitat in the back of Flamingo.

Flamingo Las Vegas garden flamingo las vegas koi pond Continue reading →

Las Vegas Trip Report: A Trip to Wild Wild West

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This morning I woke up at the Flamingo Hotel.  I went to bed a winner, I woke up a winner, I am a winner!

Daytime room view, cock blocked by the Donny and Marie wrap.

flamingo las vegas daytime room view

I noticed there is a tiny bit of the Donny and Marie hotel wrap missing. I tried taking photos through the clear spot.  It kind of worked if I stood on my tip toes and held the camera up as high as I could reach.

flamingo las vegas room view 1flamingo las vegas room view

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Las Vegas Trip Report: The One Where Anything Can Happen

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I just finished up posting my last Vegas trip report, which was a nonstop blood bath where my biggest win was a whopping $108.  What a sad, depressing trip that was!

Still, when my job reminded me I had two days off to use in August, I booked another trip.  I got two comped (plus resort fee, fuck you) nights at Flamingo and three at Fremont, which is my favorite hotel in all of Las Vegas, despite it being tiny and crappy.   I had originally booked a MyVegas reward for two nights at Monte Carlo.  In the end, I ended up cancelling (and losing my points) for that.  I really just like smoking rooms in Vegas.  MLife doesn’t have them.  I do not want to forfeit my personal comfort for a free salmonella laced plate of scrambled eggs at the Bellagio buffet.

My flight was supposed to leave at 6:30.   We boarded on time, which was a shock.  We left late despite this, which was not a shock.

I landed at 9:30 and decided to shuttle to Flamingo.  We sat there for a good half hour before leaving.  And by “good” I mean “FUCKING LET’S FUCKING GO ALREADY.”   The driver dropped me off nowhere near the entrance.  If I were a degenerate packer, I would have been mad.  But my bag is carry on sized so I don’t care.

Cute stuffed dog going on an adventure

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Las Vegas Trip Report: Have Bad Luck, Will Travel

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One thing I love about waking up in Las Vegas is that anything can happen on that day.  You legit have no clue what notes you will be writing out when you get back to your room tonight.  This morning I am looking out my window at the California hotel at 7:00 am and wishing for the gambling gods to PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE before I get dressed and go out for the day.

I am out by 8:30.  I find a penny on heads outside the elevator.  Excellent sign.

I play my Buffalo machine here and lose.  I decide to put a $20 into quarter Double Double Bonus video poker machine and lose that too.  As I am playing it, I have the realization that I have barely played any video poker this trip.  This probably explains why I am doing so terribly.  My last trip was Buffalo win heavy but I was just incredibly lucky.

That said, I walked over to Binions and played BUFFALO.  Nope, still not a winner.

I wanted to have breakfast at Magnolia’s at Four Queens since I have accumulated a bunch of comps here, but the line in insane.  Back to Binions I go.  I get an omelet and have to pay a couple of dollars for it.  Such sacrilege in a town where I am used to comps.   I get an iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts and try the casino in Binions again.  The only win I get is the Motherlode promotion which gives me a free root beer float.  I’ll save this for later.

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Las Vegas Trip Report: Depositing My Money Around The Vegas Valley

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If you are just tuning in, let me catch you up:  I am waking up at California on day four of one of my most unlucky trips to Las Vegas.   It isn’t just the losing, although there is plenty of that.  It is the fire alarms, the lack of early check ins and the methamphetamine serial killer that would not take my life yesterday.

I am up at 5:12 and I catch the 6:12 am WAX bus to Hooters.  Except the WAX  bus does not stop AT Hooters.  Which I did not realize until we were passing it without stopping.  I got off at the next stop and made the long walk back in the desert summer sun.  Hate.

I have both the Las Vegas Advisor and American Casino Guide coupons for $10 free play at Hooters.  Do you want to guess how that went?   Exactly.

Then I went to Tropicana.  But I do not have my card.  And I am too lazy / heat exhausted to care.  So I just keep playing random Buffalo machines, making my way from the entrance I entered, to the exit on the other side.  Where I left with way less money than I entered with.

tropicana hotel las vegas

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Las Vegas Trip Report: The Sky is Blue But there is a black cloud hanging over me

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I was asleep at Planet Hollywood in Vegas when I am awoken by this loud as all fuck noise.  At first I think it is my phone.  I jump out of bed to make it stop, why is it so fucking LOUD.  But it isn’t stopping.  I turn on the light and realize it is the fire alarm.  It is 3:00 am and the fire alarm is going off, louder than anything that was ever loud before it.  It is so loud.  SO. FUCKING. LOUD.

I don’t know what to do.  Obviously you are supposed to do something, like leave your room.  But I don’t want to.  I am comfy in my jam jams and just want my heart to stop palpitating.  The alarm is not stopping.  There are no announcements.  I know to not call the front desk, I will be one of a million.  I peek out the peep hole on my door and there is nothing out there.  Fuck I guess I will get dressed and go downstairs.

As I am putting my shoes on, it stops.  Then comes the announcement that it was a false alarm.  Then that announcement begins repeating a million fucking times.  Holy shit.  I came to Vegas to win a million dollars but the real million dollar win will be me inventing a system for hotels where their guests can push a button to acknowledge they heard the first 75 announcements that it was a false alarm.  Then it can fucking STOP IT ALREADY.

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