Las Vegas Trip Report: The One Where The Guy Passed Out at Magnolias

Good morning Las Vegas!  I don’t know what time I woke up since apparently I haven’t been notating times of day on this trip.  I also haven’t been checking my horoscope.  I am however, still addicted to Dunkin Donuts and off to get iced coffee I go.  The Dunkin Donuts at Fremont has mobile ordering (shhh, don’t tell anyone!) but they will make your coffee, clearly see someone standing under the sign “pick up mobile orders here” and never check to see if maybe this coffee is yours.  I always have to ask someone to hand it to me.

I went to The D to finish up the Las Vegas Advisor coupon.   My first $20 got me a win, the rest, not so much.

I played Cleopatra Keno, some more video poker, including single line quarter Ultimate X video poker.  I lost my lighter, which pissed me off since it was from Turkey.  I played Buffalo and a whole lot of nothing.  Time to give up.

The Las Vegas Advisor coupon got me $50 and I lost that in Buffalo.  This is where I should have left and instead, played Dancing Drums.  This is why we have bad habits.  We get rewarded.

Over to Four Queens where the luck continues, what the hell is today even.
I played around a lot after and went on a losing streak so I stopped for lunch at Magnolias.  I have way more comps here than I could ever use.

After, I played one more round of Dancing Drums.

I went to Subway for a large fountain drink of vitamin water (this is a great idea) and headed to the room for a nap.  What time? Fucked if I know.

I went back out at whatever the hell time I woke up.  I wanted to go to El Cortez to use the Las Vegas Advisor $10 free slot play coupon since I never did last year which means it has been over a year since I have been in this casino.  I don’t want to go because fire weather.  But I know if I stick here and lose, I will be very annoyed.  So I first stop at Dunkin Donuts.  World’s longest line.  I did mobile order and got there just in time to see a woman make my coffee and then put it behind her and never check to see if I am there. I have to ask someone to get it for me and then he starts yelling “IS ANYONE ELSE PICKING UP A MOBILE ORDER”  No, shhhhh.  Don’t tell people about it!!!  They will use it and the mobile line will be as long as the regular line.

I walked outside and something is going on on Fremont Street.   It is completley blocked off and i don’t want to deal with it so I walk on Ogden to the El Cortez.

I needed to get a card and get my coupon loaded.   It is very hot in here, and the line will never move.  The guy behind me starts talking to me and actually touches my shoulder at some point.  Guys, if you are talking to a woman who is not facing you and she does not turn to face you as she responds, this means she doesn’t want to talk to you.  This does not mean reach out and touch her.   He is rambling on about who knows what and then as he asks me if I am here with my husband, it is my turn at the desk.  Whew.

I am asked if I can come back later since their printer for the coupon isn’t working.  Nope, I will never come back here if I cannot use this coupon.  I walked here in fire weather, I am not walking back.  She gets the printer to work.

I played some Buffalo.  I think it went well!

Then over to Buffalo Legends, which is literally Satan.  But Satan loves me tonight.  Maybe because I am wearing all black.

Wahoo!  I cash out and do the kiosk spin and get 1000 points and $10 free play.  I played some weirdo Keno and won $100.

I stopped to pee before leaving and some woman was complimenting my shoes as I was peeing.  I ignored her because I am not engaging with someone who is looking at my feet under a stall. She keeps going, loudly describing my shoes and yelling about how much she likes them.  Okay, go away?

I head back to Four Queens.  Now I know I said I had not been to El Cortez in over a year (how did that even happen?!) but what the fuck is up with Fremont Street East?  Why so many people?  What are they all doing there?  What suddenly made THIS part of Downtown the happening spot?  Aren’t we all supposed to get mudered, raped and killed for walking over here?

I get back to Four Queens and play a bit more because hi.

I got takeaway dinner from Magnolias.  I didn’t want to tip the guy who took my order because he was being a dick to the cashier who asked him to take my order.  I was sitting there for quite some time and decided I would let employees walk past me three more times without taking my order before I got up and left.  Dick guy comes and takes it.  I decide I am going to tip him but it ended up being moot.  As I am waiting for my food, two things happen:

1.  A woman comes running up to the podium and grabs a garbage pail and runs back to her table with it.  I assume someone is vomiting, which was later confirmed via THIS trip report of someone who was actually at Magnolias at the same time I was.

(And now I just lost a ton of readers who are going to go read Gaggles’s trip report, which is much better than mine.  Bye guys.)

2.  A dude pays for his meal and then just stands there, facing the steps, at like almost a 45 degree angle. He is swaying and never standing straight up.  He goes to take one step and then goes back to swaying with his feet firmly on the ground.  I know he is going to face plant.  I am hoping he doesn’t go down the stairs.  As I am wondering why the cashier is ignoring this dude about to fall over, he goes down.  He doesn’t go down the steps though, he follows through on his left angle and smashes completely into the hostess stand, knocking it over.  Things go flying all over the place.  It is as this is happening that my server comes and hands me my food before running over to the guy.  I tried to tip him and he just looked at me like I was insane trying to hand him money while a guy is on the ground and the hostess stand AND everything that was in it, is splayed all over the floor.  The cashier is screaming for security.  A cocktail server starts walking up the steps.  She can’t get all the way up since this guy’s body is blocking the top.  I go to the other side and skedaddle the hell out of there as the casher is still screaming for security.

Yikes.

Off to my room where I type this post, pack my stuff and get ready for a new day tomorrow.

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