A lot of people don’t know there is an actual casino in New York City.   This is probably because while technically being located inside New York City, it is so far away from everything that taking a trip there is probably not a good use of a tourist’s time.

I decided once it opened, that I should never go visit this place.  The idea of having a casino just a subway ride away was probably going to just result in degeneracy on a whole new level.

That said, I did end up going after MyVegas had announced rewards for this casino.   The rewards are pretty lacking.  There are dining rewards, gift shop rewards, but no free play.  Why do you not have free play DAMMIT.

So off I went.  I didn’t write about that first trip because it went kind of like this: I lost all my money in about ten minutes.  And discovered that spending $50 in their gift shop = one hand lotion, one bar of pomegranate soap and one pack of gummy bears.   Their selection of stuff is so tiny and extremely overpriced.  I mean let’s be fair, all casino gift shops are over priced.  But I was expecting more things to choose from.  I was not expecting to go home with SOAP.

Then I boarded the A train to get home.  That was a nightmare.  The A train connects to the Air Train for JFK airport.  When I got on the train, it was jam packed with so many people coming from their airport.  With so much luggage (who needs that much stuff?!?) and even more entitlement.   There were people who had clearly walked onto their train with their luggage and duffel bags, dumped their stuff right in the doorway and kept walking into the train.   I had to step over a whole lot of stuff to get onto the train.  Other people could not get out of the doorway and into the actual train, because of all the luggage blocking all the walkways.

I vowed I would never go to Resorts World again.

And then I did.

I took a day off work recently and decided the hell with it.  Off to gamble I go.   You are allowed to use three MyVegas rewards per trip.  So I got a $25 credit in the gift shop, a $50 credit in the gift shop and then $25 in dining.  I kind of regret the dining reward.  I wasn’t hungry so I thought I would use it on my way out and get something to bring home with me.  But their drinks (including water) are $4-5.  I did not want to spend that much for a bottle of water.  So I got two sandwiches to go, and a cup that gave me unlimited fountain drinks.  Then I carted the sandwiches around while I gambled.  I should have just purchased the reward for just the fountain drink.

I don’t like this casino.  I wanted to play some Buffalo slot machines.   They are not set up like ones in Vegas or Atlantic City.   You sit down, you see the machines are 40 lines.  You may want to play two or three credits per line.  But the machines are not set up where you can choose the number of credits per line.  The first machine I tried, you could choose one credit per line ($.40 cents), five credits per line ($2.00) or ten credits per line ($4.00.)

I wanted to play two or three ($.80 or $1.20) but I could not choose this.  So I played $.40 each hand, and this was extremely boring.

I decided to walk around a bit to see what else was out there.  I finally found a machine that was set up to three credits per line, $1.20 per bet.  On the very first hand, I got the bonus.  Which kept retriggering.  Until I finally ended up with $476.31.

Well now!  Maybe this place isn’t so bad after all!

I decided I would play the $76 and skedaddle.  I played around for a very long time.  I kept doubling $20 bills and then losing $20 bills.  At one point I had to go into the bathroom just to count my money because I had no freaking clue where I was with it.  I was at $520 and decided one last $20 and then OUT OF HERE.

I played the $20 on video poker.  This was weird.  As I was playing, a little fairy pops up on the screen and begins changing my cards.  This is a feature of the game, but I could not find any explanation of it in the game rules.

Once I lost that $20, I went to the gift shop to use my $75 credit from MyVegas rewards.  This time I got two bottles of hand lotion, a bar of green tea soap and a pack of gummy bears.

If you have earned 35 points on your trip, you can take the casino shuttle for free and avoid the A train.   The bus just so happens to stop a mere 20 minute walk from my apartment. And bonus: That stop just also happens to be at my bank.

When I went to print my bus ticket, I saw I had earned $15 free play and $25 dining.  I wanted so badly to go back upstairs and use it.  How cool would it be if I was ready to leave with $500 in winnings and then won another $500?!  And then used the dining credit for desert to take home? But I was a non-degenerate and did not go back upstairs.

The shuttle bus took an hour to get to my stop.  There are only three stops.  For some reason, the bus drives on surface streets and not on the highway.  I don’t have any idea why.

I got off the bus, deposited $500 in my bank account, treated myself to an XL Dunkin Donuts coffee and went home happy.

Until I went to the ATM a week later, and discovered my debit card was missing.   The last time I saw it was when depositing that cash.  I have no idea what happened to it.

So while I was a winner, I was also a loser.  But if given the choice between losing money or my debit card, debit card wins every time.