Tag Archives: myvegas rewards

Another Surprise Trip to Las Vegas? Sure, Why Not?

Or rather, what about another two surprise trips to Las Vegas?

Yes, I know.  “I thought you were never going to Vegas again neener neener I told you so…”

My job decided last minute that we would be getting five days off for Fourth of July.  I am not sure if you have ever tried to book a last minute trip on a major holiday weekend.  Well I now have and I will tell you, it is expensive to book last minute.  Las Vegas was the cheapest option even with inflated airfare and gambling budget.  Then again in August, I was reminded I had two free days to use.  These days needed to be used in August.  Again, while not a major holiday, apparently planning any summer travel last minute is really expensive.

So yes, if I find out last minute I have extended time off work, and that time is not long enough to do things like I would like to, such as go to Turkmenistan, then I will be boring and predictable and go to Vegas.

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Booking a room for the first trip was a bit annoying to say the least.  Boyd offers are back, but they start July 1.  I was going to be there either June 29 or June 30.  Rates everywhere for Friday, June 30 were insane.  Because of the holiday weekend.  The only comp I could get for July 1 was at Boyd.

I found I could get a MyVegas reward for June 29.  So I booked New York, New York as I had a great feeling about this place.  It was my favorite stop on my Strip crawl earlier this year.  I won $600 and got a massage.

I was able to book Planet Hollywood for Friday.  Comp + resort fee (fuck you.)  I have actually never stayed here.  I stayed at Aladdin, but never Planet Hollywood.  I considered cancelling New York, New York to save a move and spend both nights at Planet Hollywood, but eh, screw it.

Next three nights were celebrating the return of Boyd comps with a stay at California.  When I booked, I chose a newly renovated room.

Final night was going to be at Linq.  I have never stayed here as Linq.  Probably a dozen times as Imperial Palace, I think maybe once as The Quad (that is a stupid name) but never since the renovations.

These room moves were choppy and could have been planned better had I been given more than one week’s notice about my trip.  But if my biggest problem is that my room  moves in Vegas are awkwardly scheduled, I am a lucky person.

I left my job early and went to the airport.  Outside security, I saw a penny on tails.  Right past security, I saw a penny on heads.  I picked up the latter and put it in my bra.

I board my flight.  A loud woman comes on afterwards and I hear her asking the woman behind me “Who is sitting here?”  The woman behind me says “I don’t know.”  Loud Woman then begins to talk about how she isn’t sure where she wants to sit.  She is in an aisle seat and cannot decide if she wants the left or right one.  She wants to be next to someone interesting.  You don’t get to choose, you sit in your assigned seat.  The woman behind me tells her “Well my mother died today, so I booked an hour ago and I picked this seat because the middle one was empty.”  Loud Woman offered her condolences and then sat on the other side, quietly.

The flight went on forever.  When we were landing, I had that thing that happens often, where it feels like my forehead is being injected with very long needles. I don’t know what causes it, I  just know it huuurrrrrrrrts.

We land in Terminal 3.  Just like my trip back in March, I could not find the bus stop.  Screw it, I’ll take a cab and we can stop for cheap cigarettes.   I do and we do.  The trip to New York, New York, including the stop and a tip, came to $27.

At check in, I am asked if I want a high floor or low floor. High floor please.  I get a room on the sixth floor. Why even bother asking?

My view:

new york new york las vegas room view

And the room:

new york new york las vegas bednew york new york las vegas room

I stop for Starbucks and then go to the Buffalo slot machine that gave me $600 back in March.  Of course, two idiots are sitting at my machine and the one next to it.  Each playing one penny at a time.  To get cocktail service.  They have a million empty bottles and a whole lot of limes all over the machines.  Like ON the buttons.  So not only are you cockblocking me from my machine, you are also both fucking slobs.  And the cocktail waitress keeps serving them.

I played next to them for a bit.  Then I just get agitated and decide it is stupid to throw money into a machine I do not want to play, just to keep my eyes on the one I do want to play.  So I grab a slice of pizza for $6.44 and head to bed, beyond annoyed.

This is what a SIX DOLLARS AND FORTY FOUR CENTS slice of pizza looks like.

new york new york pizza

Quick Trip to Resorts World Casino in Queens, NY

A lot of people don’t know there is an actual casino in New York City.   This is probably because while technically being located inside New York City, it is so far away from everything that taking a trip there is probably not a good use of a tourist’s time.

I decided once it opened, that I should never go visit this place.  The idea of having a casino just a subway ride away was probably going to just result in degeneracy on a whole new level.

That said, I did end up going after MyVegas had announced rewards for this casino.   The rewards are pretty lacking.  There are dining rewards, gift shop rewards, but no free play.  Why do you not have free play DAMMIT.

So off I went.  I didn’t write about that first trip because it went kind of like this: I lost all my money in about ten minutes.  And discovered that spending $50 in their gift shop = one hand lotion, one bar of pomegranate soap and one pack of gummy bears.   Their selection of stuff is so tiny and extremely overpriced.  I mean let’s be fair, all casino gift shops are over priced.  But I was expecting more things to choose from.  I was not expecting to go home with SOAP.

Then I boarded the A train to get home.  That was a nightmare.  The A train connects to the Air Train for JFK airport.  When I got on the train, it was jam packed with so many people coming from their airport.  With so much luggage (who needs that much stuff?!?) and even more entitlement.   There were people who had clearly walked onto their train with their luggage and duffel bags, dumped their stuff right in the doorway and kept walking into the train.   I had to step over a whole lot of stuff to get onto the train.  Other people could not get out of the doorway and into the actual train, because of all the luggage blocking all the walkways.

I vowed I would never go to Resorts World again.

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And then I did.

I took a day off work recently and decided the hell with it.  Off to gamble I go.   You are allowed to use three MyVegas rewards per trip.  So I got a $25 credit in the gift shop, a $50 credit in the gift shop and then $25 in dining.  I kind of regret the dining reward.  I wasn’t hungry so I thought I would use it on my way out and get something to bring home with me.  But their drinks (including water) are $4-5.  I did not want to spend that much for a bottle of water.  So I got two sandwiches to go, and a cup that gave me unlimited fountain drinks.  Then I carted the sandwiches around while I gambled.  I should have just purchased the reward for just the fountain drink.

I don’t like this casino.  I wanted to play some Buffalo slot machines.   They are not set up like ones in Vegas or Atlantic City.   You sit down, you see the machines are 40 lines.  You may want to play two or three credits per line.  But the machines are not set up where you can choose the number of credits per line.  The first machine I tried, you could choose one credit per line ($.40 cents), five credits per line ($2.00) or ten credits per line ($4.00.)

I wanted to play two or three ($.80 or $1.20) but I could not choose this.  So I played $.40 each hand, and this was extremely boring.

I decided to walk around a bit to see what else was out there.  I finally found a machine that was set up to three credits per line, $1.20 per bet.  On the very first hand, I got the bonus.  Which kept retriggering.  Until I finally ended up with $476.31.

buffalo win resorts world casino queens

Well now!  Maybe this place isn’t so bad after all!

I decided I would play the $76 and skedaddle.  I played around for a very long time.  I kept doubling $20 bills and then losing $20 bills.  At one point I had to go into the bathroom just to count my money because I had no freaking clue where I was with it.  I was at $520 and decided one last $20 and then OUT OF HERE.

I played the $20 on video poker.  This was weird.  As I was playing, a little fairy pops up on the screen and begins changing my cards.  This is a feature of the game, but I could not find any explanation of it in the game rules.

Once I lost that $20, I went to the gift shop to use my $75 credit from MyVegas rewards.  This time I got two bottles of hand lotion, a bar of green tea soap and a pack of gummy bears.

If you have earned 35 points on your trip, you can take the casino shuttle for free and avoid the A train.   The bus just so happens to stop a mere 20 minute walk from my apartment. And bonus: That stop just also happens to be at my bank.

When I went to print my bus ticket, I saw I had earned $15 free play and $25 dining.  I wanted so badly to go back upstairs and use it.  How cool would it be if I was ready to leave with $500 in winnings and then won another $500?!  And then used the dining credit for desert to take home? But I was a non-degenerate and did not go back upstairs.

The shuttle bus took an hour to get to my stop.  There are only three stops.  For some reason, the bus drives on surface streets and not on the highway.  I don’t have any idea why.

I got off the bus, deposited $500 in my bank account, treated myself to an XL Dunkin Donuts coffee and went home happy.

Until I went to the ATM a week later, and discovered my debit card was missing.   The last time I saw it was when depositing that cash.  I have no idea what happened to it.

So while I was a winner, I was also a loser.  But if given the choice between losing money or my debit card, debit card wins every time.

From Four Queens on Fremont to Red Rock Hotel and Casino in Summerlin

As I mentioned in my  last post, while going to bed at Four Queens, I set the sun as my alarm clock.  I ended up awake at 5:00 am.  I was out of my room at 6:30, first stop: Dunkin Donuts for coffee.  Dunkin Donuts is a huge part of why I love downtown.  First of all, it exists.  Second of all, you do not have to walk ten miles to find it.

I played around Binions a bit.  I love Binions and would love to give them a proper degenerate session.   My last many trips to Vegas, I have low rolled them.  I also wish they would reopen the hotel.  But from what I understand, they have an asbestos problem which would make that a project that would probably not pay off.

I started off playing Buffalo, which got my heart racing faster than the extra large coffee, as the machine makes this insanely loud noise when you insert cash.  I lost there, lost at Cleopatra Keno, lost on Double Double Bonus video poker and “won” a deck of cards in the Motherlode game.

I went outside to take the bus to Santa Fe to redeem a MyVegas reward for a free buffet.   I did this last year and had an accidental Keno win that ensured I will do this again every year.

The bus comes, I sit down and the next thing I know, I have a win even bigger than the accidental Keno win.  There is a PUPPY on this bus!  Oh it was so soft and so sweet.  I got the tiniest puppy kisses.  I did not take a photo because that would have required removing my hands from the puppy.  I. LOVE. DOGS. SO. MUCH.

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I enter Santa Fe.  They have promotional kiosks all over the place (all Stations do) and none of them were working.  People were MAD.  This was the big buzz throughout the entire casino.  I felt bad for the people working at the Player’s Club because they were being given earfuls of whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

I got my MyVegas reward, which is actually good for two buffets.   As always, the cashier at Santa Fe offers that I can give the second one away to someone.  This was the only Stations that let me do this.  I gave it to the man behind me.  No, I did not have to sit with him. The cashier printed out two receipts.

After eating, I played around a bit.   I tried Hot Roll Poker for the first time and lost.   I gave that machine the finger and played some normal quarter Double Double Bonus video poker.  Here I hit four of a kind twos.

santa fe twos

On my way out, I played a penny Ultimate X Double Double Bonus video poker game. I love playing this in pennies because I can afford to play ten hands.  I hit this, which would have been more exciting if I was not playing pennies, but was still exciting because ACES ARE ALWAYS EXCITING.

santa fe ultimate x aces kicker

I got on the bus back to Four Queens.  I stopped at Binions again and went nutso there.  I was playing my Buffalo machine when some guy started playing the machine next to me.  But he did that thing people do, when instead of sitting down, they play leaning over the chair.  But he is leaning partially on MY chair.  I tried abruptly swiveling to knock him off and it didn’t work. I had to cash out because no way in hell was I going to risk the Wish RNG to land on me during the nano second I was wishing him to spontaneously combust instead of all the times I was wishing for a million dollar win.

I swipe for the Motherlode promotion now that I have 40 points again and AGAIN I win $10 credit for the cafe.  This is so first worlding my Four Queens Go Green dining credit!

I stopped to get water at Walgreens and noticed something was going on at The D.  Not sure what they are doing, but this is what the main floor looked like:

The D Las Vegas renovations

I went to the room for a bit and checked my email.  Cosmopolitan sent me an email thanking me for stopping by and offering me $15 free play if I came back by Friday.  I consider going right now as being on the bus will keep me from losing. But you know what, so will a nap.  And a nap is easier.  So I nap.

I wake up, go claim my Binions burger and come back to the room.  Even though I am booked to stay at Four Queens tonight, I am not.  I am checking out and heading to Red Rock.  I have a free night reward from MyVegas.  It seemed easier to do this.  I would wake up at Red Rock, use a MyVegas reward for breakfast and then take the free shuttle to the airport.  No, not to fly home.  But to continue on with my trip.  Brilliant idea.

Before leaving Fremont Street, I stopped to the same photo I take on every trip to Las Vegas:

fremont street las vegas

I took the bus to Red Rock.  This is pretty easy although I get that a lot of people are uncomfortable with branching out to bus lines that are not Strip bus lines.  The bus stops right at Red Rock.  I checked in and remembered how nice these rooms are.   It is really unfortunate Stations no longer participates in MyVegas.  These rewards were the best ones they offered.

red rock las vegas roomred rock las vegas bathroomred rock las vegas tubred rock las vegas room viewred rock las vegas room view of pool

I went downstairs to play.  I did not have on a coat or anything since my room was right upstairs / I wasn’t going to be going outside.  But the casino had the heat blasting so hot.  It was like this in most places during this trip.  But Red Rock went above and beyond with TOO FUCKING HOT IN HERE.  I am losing, I am sweating.  The Starbucks closed at some ridiculously early hour.  Like 8:00.  Toto, we are not on Fremont Street any longer.

While playing, I hit four of a kind twos for my second time today:

red rock las vegas twos

I continued until I had wiped out all the cash in my wallet and headed upstairs for bed.   As nice as these rooms are, they do have a flaw.  THIS BED FRAME.  I smashed my foot into it and suddenly remembered I did this the last time I was here years ago.  Thankfully this time I had on sneakers.  But it still hurt so very bad.

red rock las vegas death

Gambling Day: – $200
Gambling Trip: – $210
Miscellaneous: (bus, coffee, water, tips): $18
Comps used: Nope
Coupons: Nope
Freebies: Free night at Red Rock, calculated on the rate showing the day I booked it = $185.57 via MyVegas (this includes room cost, tax and resort fee, I paid zero), free buffet at Santa Fe via MyVegas = $6.99 (x two since it was for two, + tax), $10 meal at Binions from the Motherlode promotion.

Today’s itinerary:

Wednesday, December 21, 2016
Breakfast:  Santa Fe Station, 8-11 MyVegas
Four Queens Go Green credit
Silver Nugget / Lucky Club half off ACG
Jerry’s Nugget $5 free play ACG – 113 bus, 104 to LC
Jerry’s Nugget 10x video Keno
Check into Red Rock
Red Rock – swipe Polar Bear 5x entries Wednesday, must be present 8:15

Las Vegas Trip Report: I’m Moving to the Bellagio!

Good morning from the wonderful Orleans hotel and casino, located in fabulous Las Vegas.  If you are just joining us, you may want to start at the beginning of this report, which you can find here.

I slept with the bathroom door closed, which meant the bathroom window did not wake me up by screaming “LOOK AT ME!  THE SUN IS OUT!”

I had intended to get up early, go use a MyVegas reward for breakfast, and then come back and check out.  Instead, I gambled.

I stopped at Java Vegas, where the line was so very long.  GIVE. ME. MY. COFFEE. PLEASE.

I gambled around Orleans and did not win anything because only winners win and I am a loser.  I said a last goodbye to all my favorite machines and went upstairs to grab my stuff.

I looked at my bill on the television and I owed $1.87.  I went and counted out $1.87 in change to pay at the front desk.  That is a thing I have noticed while in Vegas, the accumulation of change.   Once I started getting comped everywhere, I stopped using cash daily.   So all that change you collect when you play slots and cash out with change, just grows and grows.  I used to use it to pay change on bills at restaurants, gift shops, etc.  Now I just use my slot card and watch as my wallet grows fatter in the wrong compartment.

As I get ready to hand over my $1.87, the guy at the front desk asks if I want to use my points to pay for the charge.  YES.  Oops.  I guess I will use this change to pay for the bus.

I go outside and walk to the bus stop.  You walk the entire parking lot, which is ginormous.  Then you cross Arville, which is easy peasy.  Then you cross Tropicana, which takes forever.  And of course, during the time you are waiting for the light to say “walk” your bus comes and leaves while you just stand there on the wrong side of the street, watching it pull away without you.

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And the bus, OH THE BUS.  Last year, my “act like it isn’t happening” meter broke and I just about snapped about the bus system in Las Vegas.  I got so tired of the bus being “right across the street” and having to walk one mile to get there.  The most infuriating example I can give of this is the bus stop outside Longhorn.  The bus going towards downtown is right across the street.  But the street is Boulder Highway.  And once you get across this, which can take about ten minutes depending on how long you have to wait for the light, the stop is then nowhere near the corner. And I promise you, as you are talking this insanely long walk from the corner where you crossed, to the actual stop, a bus will pass and you will curse up a storm.  Why is the bus stop nowhere near the corner!??

But today, Las Vegas has outdone itself in public transit mishaps.  Oh yes, yes you did.

I take the bus to the Strip. I am going to Excalibur.  The bus does not stop on this side of the Strip, it stops on the opposite side.  Why not stop at both?  Because HATE.

I get off the bus at Tropicana, nowhere near the corner.  I then attempt to take the pedestrian bridge across the Strip to get back to Excalibur.  Except it is closed off.  I do not mean the escalator was not running.  I mean the walkway to the pedestrian bridge from Tropicana was completely fenced off.  I could see guys working on the bridge, but for the life of me, I could not figure out any way to possibly get there.  I decided maybe they got onto it from the Excalibur side.

So now for me to get “right across the street” from where I am, I have to: Take an elevator up a different pedestrian bridge.  Walk around the side of MGM to their pedestrian bridge.  See the escalator there is out of order, because of course.  Wait for the elevator for a few minutes before a guy in a Spiderman costume comes and tells me that it is not working.  Then I carry my luggage (because oh yeah, I had checked out of Orleans and had luggage with me) up the steps.  Cross the pedestrian bridge.  Walk into New York, New York.  Veer all around idiot tourists who love to just suddenly stop walking without any concern that people may be behind them.  Say “excuse me” about seven times to people who are so engrossed in their phones that they do not realize they are blocking the entire walkway.  I make it outside, cross another pedestrian bridge.  Then once I hit Excalibur’s property line, I am on another bridge, and a very long hallway, and then finally, I am at my destination.  I don’t know exactly how long this all took.  It had to take at least twenty minutes.  To get to where was literally right across the street from where I started.  YAY.

I also noted that Excalbur removed the banner advertisement for Dick’s Last Resort in the window that used to belong to the wizard.  I hope they bring the wizard back!


I check my bag with the bell desk, get my MyVegas buffet reward added to my card and play a bit before eating.


Then I get to the buffet.  There are zero people on the line, which is weird.  The buffet normally comes to $21.78. but for me, it is free because I am using a MyVegas reward.  Score.

The Excalibur buffet has self serve drinks and they have the holy grail of drinks, Sobe Lifewater.  They also have red velvet pancakes.  This place has certainly improved since the last time I was here fifteen years ago.

On my way out, I spotted this store.  I exhibited self control by not purchasing anything but promised to be back later in my trip to purchase everything.  This is an excellent way to control your spending in Vegas.  Every time you want something, do not buy it that second.  Instead, tell yourself you will come back.  You will never come back.  Everything that is “right there” in Vegas takes a minimum of eleventy billion years to walk to.  You will never, ever come back.


On my way back out, I play some more and win some more.  I always have to play the machines with the annoying glare.  I don’t know why.

excalibur-las-vegas-fourf-of-a-kind-jacks excalibur-las-vegas-four-of-a-kind-eights

Now it is time to make our way to Bellagio.  I walk because I am from New York and in New York, we walk.  I only took a couple of photos.  I didn’t bring my camera on this trip.  I have grown to hate my camera.  I hate carrying it, it is so heavy.  I hate that I will never find the most perfect bag to carry it in.  And as I discovered after taking 2389438924 photos in Nepal and India, it has a tiny crack in the mirror so all photos have a scratch mark on them.  So I decided to do phone only for this trip.  And I loved it.


While walking, I pass this.  What is this?  It is where New York, New York ends. What used to be there?  How is it possible that this is taking up so much space on the Strip and I have no clue what used to be there?


One thing I learned on my walk is that Cosmopolitan now has a Starbucks.  Upgrade!

I get to Bellagio and check in.  I am here on a two night reward from playing MyVegas.  The cost of this room had I paid for it, would be $139/night + tax = $155.68 per night.  So for two nights, my pre-resort fee cost would be $331.36. Most people would put this amount in the list of money they saved by playing the game.  I do not as I would not be paying $311.36 to stay here at all ever.  If anything, this reward is costing me $71.68 because if not for the reward, I would not be paying the resort fee.  If I sound like I am being negative about this, I really don’t intend to.  Of course I am willing to pay $71.68 to stay at the Bellagio.  I just don’t consider it a savings if I am not actually saving anything.  A really cool freebie, yes. A savings, nope.

While I was checking in, I fantasized about beating the life out of these two horrible bitches who were screaming at a manager.  It seems their room was not ready when they tried to check in.  So they did the check in process, and were told they would receive a text when they could come back and pick up their keys.  They had gotten the text, but their names were not on the room.  One of the two women’s  husband had made the reservation.  He had done the check in, given his wife’s number for the text.  But he neglected to put his wife on the actual room.  So she could not pick up the keys.  Instead of being mad at him for being an asshole, they just kept screaming at the manager.  As I was walking away with my keys, the husband showed up and now the women were demanding compensation for their horrible experience and now ruined trip.  That manager deserves a medal for not calling the police and having them escorted out.

I am put in a room at the top of the spa tower.  My view was pretty much only the sun glaring into the window.  The spa tower is a million miles away from the casino, but I am also right near the tram to Aria.  This is a good thing because I can go there to smoke without having to go to the casino.  Bellagio only has one floor for smokers and there was no room for me there.

The Bellagio may be the most famous hotel in all of Las Vegas.   I just don’t get it. Maybe if I had a fountain view or something, but there really wasn’t anything special about my room.  It was just a room.  A very nice room, yes.  But just a room.

bellagio-las-vegas-spa-room-tower bellagio-las-vegas-spa-tower-room bellagio-las-vegas-spa-tower-room-soaking-tub bellagio-las-vegas-spa-tower-shower

bellagio-las-vegasI did laundry in the sink because obviously this is the first thing I would do in a five star hotel.  Then I went out.  I went “right across the street”, meaning I left the spa tower, walked a million miles to the casino, then through the enormous casino, out the casino and down another very long hallway, to a pedestrian bridge, down an escalator and bam!   I am now right across the street!

I stopped at the new Starbucks at Ballys.  This place is enormous so only two people were working.  One at the register, one making drinks.

I then went to Cromwell to visit the Ultimate X video poker machine that was so nice to me last year.  Of course, they moved the machines around.  I think the one that was my machine, is now occupied by some guy who is playing ten play quarters.  If someone has to be playing my baby, I am consoled by knowing he is at least treating her well.

I sit down to play at a nickel SuperTimes Pay machine.  I realize I do not have my player’s card with me.  I get up and go get a new one.  Sit back down.  Now I realize I did not grab a pack of cigarettes before I left and my pack only has three cigarettes in it.  I am not going to buy cigarettes.  I am still smoking cigarettes I bought at the duty free shop in the Delhi airport on the way back from India.

So I play and lose $40 and decide to go back “home” to the Bellagio.  I stop there and go to the player’s club to get my $25 free play reward from MyVegas loaded on my card. I am told I cannot do this as I am there on a MyVegas room reward.  Yes I can.  I am told the rules have changed and you can no longer do this.  I ask when the rules changed and she tells em “Months ago.”  Nope.  But arguing is not going to get me anywhere.   I go online and verify that the rule has not changed, my free play is indeed good.  I agree to go back and try when this person is not there.  Except she is always there.  I guess I’ll try again tomorrow.

So I end up playing with cash.  My cash.  Which was only mine temporarily until the Bellagio Cleopatra Keno informed me it was her cash.  So I gave it to her and slumped away defeated.

I was in my room and in bed by 11:00.

Daily totals:

Gambling Day: – 200
Gambling Trip: + $230
Miscellaneous: (tips, coffee, bus, trip to CVS): $19.11
Comps used: $1.87 for the room charge at Orleans
Coupons: Nope

Freebies: $353.23 for my two night stay at Bellagio, and my brunch buffet at Excalibur.  These were MyVegas rewards

My itinerary is hilarious:

Sunday, December 18, 2016
Breakfast: Excalibur 7-3 MyVegas
Check into Bellagio
Bellagio $25 free play MyVegas
Sunset Station 4-9 MyVegas / Sam’s Town 200 points ACG
Sam’s Town 15X Buffalo, 11x reels or 7x VP
115 bus to Longhorn play $10 get $5 ACG
Ellis Island play $5 free shirt ACG
Tuscany earn 300 $10 free play ACG
El Cortez 10x buffalo 10-midnight
SLS 10x points

Las Vegas Trip Report: Let Me Get Some Karma Please

My bed at Cromwell is probably the most comfortable bed on the planet.  Because of this, I was actually able to sleep in a bit.  I may have stayed in bed all day if this hotel allowed smoking.  But since it does not, I need to get up and get dressed and go downstairs.

I made the mistake of looking into the mirror.   Have you ever been so hung over that your eyes are completely bloodshot?  Well I have that look going on, but I haven’t drank any alcohol since I arrived here.  I also do not get hangovers, not even when I drink for twelve hours a day for four straight days at a fest.  I am not sure what is going on here, but let’s just pretend we didn’t look in the mirror and go about our day, shall we?

I continue on my mission to consume as much free fancy schmancy coffee as I can, to offset the resort fee.  On this morning’s third (or fourth or fifth?) cup, they ran out of milk.  Sigh.  Do not think that will deter me.  This fancy schmancy machine has the option of adding steamed milk.  SO I SHALL!

I played for a while on Ultimate X.  I love this game, I love this particular machine.   It allows me to actually play without sucking up all my money in the blink of an eye.   Then I hit Aces with a multiplier.  Wheeeeeee!

For nickels, figuring out how much you won is easy.  Divide the number in half and knock off the last zero.  So 2400 nickels = $120.

aces with 3x ultimate x video poker Continue reading

As I am taking  the photo, the woman next to me starts asking me what I am playing, how do you play it, etc.  I make it very clear to her that this game is very volatile and when you lose, you lose fast and hard.

But in the end, that doesn’t matter because she hits this.

dealt royal flush ultimate x video poker

Are you fucking kidding me.

I went upstairs and drowned my jealousy in a brownie that I had brought with me from Smiths Supermarket yesterday. This was a four pack and I wish it were an eleventy billion pack because these brownies were so good.

I took a nap and then got dressed to go see Criss Angel “Believe” at Luxor.  This was free via MyVegas.  Everyone will tell you how bad this show is.  But I want to see it and it is FREE so I am going to see it.

I don’t want to deal with the Deuce bus so I just walk from Cromwell to Luxor.  I am shocked to tell you that not even once did I have to tell anyone to “move it”, or tell anyone to watch where they are walking.   What a nice walk this was!

I took some photos while walking.  It is about time my camera got some action.  I have spent close to $2000 on this camera and all its accessories and the entire time I have been here, I have been taking photos with my phone exclusively.  And they are all crooked.  Good job.

ballys cosmopolitan las vegas strip excalilbur las vegasplanet hollywood casino las vegasluxor las vegas sphinxnew york new york las vegaslas vegas stripI arrive a tiny bit too early so I sit down and play nickel Cleopatra Keno.  This machine sucks.  There are filthy ashtrays all over the place, with tissues in them.   People, these things are meant to hold burning ash.  Do not put flammable items in them.  Sheesh.  I also cannot win a damn thing.

Then it was show time.  The show was not bad at all.  I think it has a horrible reputation because it is billed as a Cirque du Soleil show and there is zero acrobatics in it.   It is a magic show.  The only thing I did not like about it is that somewhere near me, someone smelled like a dirty diaper.  Other than that, it was pretty good.

After the show, I had planned to play live Keno, a la the Griswolds in Vegas Vacation.  This is where they won, this is where I am going to win.  Or this is where I am going to get lost walking around the casino for a million  years and never finding the live Keno.  It is not possible that they do not have live Keno here, is it?  This is a casino!  But I cannot find it so I give up and walk through Excalibur and get lost in there for half my life.  I am lost for so long that I have time to replay my entire life story in my head.  During this trip down memory lane, I start to remember my vows to never enter this property again because I have never once found an exit with ease.  But I did find live Keno so let’s do this!

I lost.

And then I got lost again trying to find the exit.

But I am pleased to tell you that I am not typing this out in a corner of the castle while building a shelter for my new home.   Eventually, I found an exit.  Yay!

I stopped at Walgreens for water and discovered I really wanted a yogurt with granola. I am in Las Vegas and this is what I am eating for dinner?  Yep.

I stopped at Planet Hollywood for reasons I surely do not understand, and played a bit and lost a bit.  I continued to Cromwell where I put my last $20 of the day’s gambling budget into Ultimate X.  It took me a bit to realize I was playing dimes instead of nickels.  NO.  I switched over to nickels and saw the person who played this before me left three 8x multipliers for me.  Holy shit, i cannot wait to tell my readers how I won a billion dollars on this!  Well guys, you are just going to have to wait for next time because it did not happen this time.

I did rack up another ten coffees today, making my free coffee total so far fifteen.  I love your free coffee Cromwell.

Gambling Day: – $120
Gambling Trip: + $200
Miscellaneous: (water and yogurt):  $6.58
Comps used: Cromwell hotel stay
Freebies:  Ten cups of fancy schmancy coffee at Cromwell, one ticket to Believe.

My itinerary today is stupid because I put a Las Vegas Advisor coupon on it, but the earliest I could even pick up the book is tomorrow.  I also did nothing on it except see Believe.

Sunday, January 3, 2016
Breakfast:  Gold Coast 8:00 am-9:00 pm 200 points = free buffet
Dinner: Ellis Island 50% off LVA
Ellis Island $10 free play ACG/free shirt ACG
Ellis Island free shirt ACG
Criss Angel 7:00 – Luxor

Las Vegas Trip Report: One Night at Fiesta Henderson

This morning I woke up at Sunset Station at 4:30 am.  I do not know what is wrong with me and my sleeping pattern.  I refused to make the same mistake as yesterday, when I went out and lost all my money before Starbucks even opened.  I forced myself to stay in my room until 8:00 am.  This was not easy since all the machines downstairs were screaming my name.  SHUT UP YOU ASSHOLES.

I went downstairs and used a MyVegas reward for breakfast.  I had a big score when the buffet ran out of strawberry yogurt and it was replaced with blueberry.  Hey, I will take any win I can get at this point in my losing streak.

I played a bit to make sure that the blueberry yogurt was not the only score I was going to have this morning and sadly, it was.  Stations casinos are having a promotion where you can swipe your card, pick a penguin and win a prize.  Today’s prize was a free $5 bet on a table game. I don’t know how to play table games.  The Roulette dealer I asked for help, told me what I could bet.  I picked red and black came up.  Because of course it did.

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I went outside to find a drug store to get some stuff I am running out of, particularly conditioner.  I probably exited through the one door that is nowhere near anywhere.  I walked forever and found nothing.  I knew there was a Target nearby but why would I walk out the door that I know where to walk to Target from, when I can walk out a door that I have no idea where I am.  I probably walked a million miles, most of them in the parking lot, before I gave up and went back to my room to pack.

Today I am moving to Fiesta Henderson.   I booked this on Priceline for $20.  They charge a $9.99 resort fee ($11-something with tax) and I was okay with this because it includes internet.

Taking the bus here from Sunset Station probably took ten minutes.  The walk through the parking lot probably took the same as well.

fiesta henderon las vegas hotel sign

I check in and get room 3115.  Don’t let the numbers fool you.  That is the third floor.  The room was motel-like and honestly, I kind of like rooms like this because they are in my comfort zone.

Fiesta Henderson hotel room las vegas

fiesta henderson las vegas bathroom

I went downstairs to gamble and decided I truly hate this casino.  I am trying to play nickel video poker and it seems like every machine I try is ten coins for max bet.  The royal is shorted if you only play five.  Guys, I don’t want to play ten coins.  I am broke.  I finally settle on nickel Keno with a progressive jackpot that of course, I did not hit.  Time for a nap!

When I woke up, I decided I was going to go Downtown.  I have the two Plaza $5 free play coupons I never used the other day.  I can get a comped meal at Four Queens and some Dunkin Donuts coffee.  Plus see also:  I can actually find the Walgreens down there.

I go outside and pick the wrong bus stop to catch the HDX bus.  A man is there and he points me to the right bus stop, across two streets.  The HDX is pulling away as this is happening.  But it is only 6:50 and it is supposed to come at 7:16 so I stick it out, hoping that this one was just the bus before running late.  Nope.  As I am sitting there, more people come to catch the 7:16 bus.  Everyone is getting annoyed at how late it is.  I get to where I cannot take it anymore and quit and give up.  By the time the next bus would have come, I would have only had an hour Downtown before having to come back here.  That or take a bus that is not the HDX and that takes an insane amount of time to do.

Maybe this is fate telling me that playing in Fiesta Henderson is my destiny and I will finally win something.


I didn’t even get so much as one four of a kind today.  This is bullshit and I demand a recount.

I came back to my room with Starbucks and used the internet to make a new post.  I also watched Netflix.  I did not chill though.  Sigh.

I also never read my itinerary today so I did not use the Sam’s Town $10 free play.  Or do anything else on it except switch hotels.

Gambling Day: -200
Gambling Trip: +680
Miscellaneous: (Starbucks, cigarettes, tips): $24.97
Comps used: Nada.
Freebies: Sunset Station buffet.  Free via MyVegas, saved me $7.02.  Side note, how cute is it that this buffet costs is the same as the Las Vegas Area code / how annoying must it be for cashiers to continually have to give $.98 change?

Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Breakfast: Sunset Station, 8-11 free MyVegas
Check into Fiesta Henderson
Sams Town 4-9 200 points = free ACG
Sam’s Town $10 free play LVA
Plaza 10x slots
Sam’s Town 20x buffalo, 11x reels, 7x vp (kiosk)
Suncoast 10x slots, 6x vp

Las Vegas Trip Report: Degenerate Gambler Tries Dollar Video Poker

I am wide awake at the California hotel at 6:00 am this morning.  I shower and get dressed and walk over to The D to use my $10 dining voucher.  Fremont Street is empty except for me and the homeless.

early morning fremont street las vegas

I saw this sign which drove me nuts.  It is a huge pet peeve of mine when people spell “Fremont” as “Freemont.”  I even once saw someone spell it as “Freemount”.  Although I guess since prostitution is illegal in Las Vegas, all mounts should be free.  Yet whoever made this sign, must work on Freeeeeeeeeemont.  And here we are.


Oh hey, the coffee shop doesn’t open until 8:00.  Remember when these things used to be 24 hours?  I have to use my credit today as it will be expired when I return Downtown later this trip.  So I get some coffee from Dunkin Donuts and sit down at my favorite Supertimes Pay machine in all of Las Vegas, conveniently located right outside Dunkin Donuts.

This machine is my baby and I have not played her in a year.  When I was here briefly in September, she was always taken.  I am so glad to be reunited with her.  She isn’t doing too good. Her screen is shot and fuzzy.  Aw, poor baby.

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supertimes pay sevens

I turn $20 to $40 and then lose another $20 to even that out. I play some Keno and lose some more money because LOSER.  Finally it is 8:00 and I head back to The D to get breakfast.  I take the escalator upstairs and at the top is a woman sitting there breast feeding her kid.  In a casino.  Start ‘em off right I suppose.

Breakfast ended up costing me ten cents after my dining voucher / cleared out the remaining comps I have.  My relationship with The D is officially over.

I did stop and play some Sigma Derby.  There are twelve seats here.  Three on each long side, two on each short side. I had the entire game to myself until some man comes and sits right next to me on a short side.  Dude, the fucking game is empty.  No need to sit right fucking here.  So I bet the remaining 20 quarters I had on ONE combo that had 200 odds and lost it.  Oh well.

sigma derby

Back to California where I decide that since I am up for the trip, I am going to go for the $8128 dollar royal progressive.  That is insanely high, someone needs to hit it.  As I am playing, I am talking to the machine.  I am telling it that if it does not want to give me the $8128 royal, it can still give me any four of a kind.   Preferably Aces, but really, anything will do.  It gives me nothing.  But being the giving person I am, this does not stop me from continuing to give to it.  $300 later and I hate myself so much.

Back to the room to pack and get ready for my move to Sunset Station.  I will be there for two nights via MyVegas.  I booked before the one-per-person rule took effect.

I took the HDX bus, it took just under twenty minutes.  As a person who frequents lots of off strip places, I am always asked about renting a car.  I don’t even have a driver’s license.  The bus works.  You can take it should you chose to.  And if you do not want to, then hey, don’t!

BONUS: While I was standing at the bus stop, a homeless man was approaching, screaming very loudly.  It took a bit for me to realize I recognized the words he was screaming.  “Heaven and Hell” by Black Sabbath.  He was just not singing them anywhere near the tune.  Aw, I love Ronnie James Dio.

I got dropped off in front of Sunset Station and went to check in.  I got room 407.  I had to walk down a very looooooooooonnnnnng hallway to get there.  There is a parking lot right outside the elevator area.  Seems like that would be cool for people who drive.  Except you would still have to go all the way to the front desk.  Not sure why this hotel is designed like this.  Let’s put check in nowhere near the rooms.  Yes, that is a great blueprint, let me sign off on it!

The room is a room. There is nothing at all special about it.  The thermostat has seen better days and I have to push all the buttons multiple times to get them to work.  Other than that though, nothing. sunset station las vegas henderson room

sunset station henderson las vegas roomsunset station henderson las vegas bathroomsunset station henderson las vegas tub

sunset station las vegas room view

I go downstairs and gamble.  I am instantly horrified at how packed this place is.  It is hard to find any open machine and when you do, there are people surrounding it.  I had no idea this was such a happening place. I hate happening places.  Not enough to not gamble though so…

I played nickel Cleopatra Keno to balance out this morning’s dollar video poker loss.  I win nothing.

I went back to the room to take a nap.  This is where this day ends because I never woke back up.  Oops?

Gambling Day: – $500
Gambling Trip: + $880
Miscellaneous: (tip, coffee the $.10 The D breakfast!): $6.47
Comps used: The D breakfast
Freebies:  MyVegas room at Sunset Station

Today’s itinerary, really a joke at this point:

Sunday, December 27, 2015
Breakfast:  Fremont 7-10:30 free 250 points ACG
Check into Sunset Station
Dinner: Sunset Station, 4-9 free MyVegas
Jerry’s Nugget:New Member Rewards
50 points – $5 Comp
100 points – Jerry’s Nugget T-shirt
250 points – $20 Comp
500 points – $40 Gift Card
1,000 points – $100 Free Play on Slots and Video Poker
Downtown Grand 2x points promo
Gold Coast 30x slots (kiosk)
Orleans 30x pennies (kiosk)
Joker’s Wild 25x points on first 500 points,

Las Vegas Trip Report: the Fantastical Keno Win!

This morning, I was wide awake at the California hotel at 5:00 am.  I wanted to stick to my itinerary, which tells me to go to Santa Fe Station for breakfast.  I almost didn’t.  First, I am starving and don’t want to go all the way there.  Second, when I went outside, holy shit.  It is freezing out here.  I mean FREEZING.

Let me explain something, I know that Las Vegas is cold in winter. I have been here every winter for the past twelve years.  It is usually colder here than it is back in New York City when I am here.  I have a winter coat with me.  I get it.

But today it is so painful.  Colder than normal.  There is a wind storm going on that is blowing frozen knives into my skin.  I am going to die.  The only time i remember it being this cold in Vegas was during yet another wind storm in whatever year it was that my sister was here with me.  I remember we went to the movies at Neonopolis and then had to run into Walgreens to warm up because simply stepping outside the theater was too much for us.

Much like summer “oh but it is a dry heat”, winter here is “oh fuck it is a wind storm.”   Horrible.  I almost turned around walking to the bus.  Then I almost left the bus stop and said fuck this.  But I stuck it out and my first trip to Santa Fe Station was on!

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I got there a bit before the Rewards Center opened so I just had to play before it was time to redeem my MyVegas buffet reward.  I sat down at a nickel four card Keno game.  I hit “max bet” expecting it to be sixteen nickels, which is standard.  Nope.  FORTY nickels.  I don’t regret my mistake:

surprise santa fe casino keno win

Holy shit, I am rich!

What a great way to start the gambling portion of my day!  I played around a bit and went degenerate because why wouldn’t I when I am newly rich?

I play around some more and try for a $1600 quarter royal progressive that never happens.  I did hit for sevens though.

santa fe quarter sevens

Finally it is time to eat.   My buffet voucher is good for two people, but I am solo so typically this is a waste.  The cashier this time though, printed out two single receipts for me so I could give one away.  I gave it to the guy behind me.

Breakfast was okay.  The coffee was so bad, like notably bad, like I will never forget how bad it was bad.

I went back out and lost some more money and then went to wait for the bus back to Downtown.  So. Fucking. Cold.  Oh man I am never doing that again.

I get Downtown and play some in Main Street Station.  I lose on Friends and vow to stop playing this stupid machine.  I stop for a coffee at Lapperts and get a free donut I do not want but saying “no thank you” did not work.  Then I decide that today is my day.  Megabucks it is!  I am going to put a $100 bill through.  I got a $125 hit and cashed out at $176 and put another hundred in and lost it.

I played some Double Double Bonus video poker and some Keno.  Then came to the room for a nap.

Back out at 4:15.  First stop, Dunkin Donuts for hot coffee because it is so cold out that I will never make the walk to El Cortez without hot coffee.  I had to order it three times because she kept not hearing what I was saying.

El Cortez.  I have $10 free play from Las Vegas Advisor.  I also have a huge Keno win burning  a hole in my degeneracy so I lost $100 on Ultimate X Double Double Bonus video poker.  And then another $40 on Keno.

Downtown Grand was next with $5 free play from Las Vegas Advisor.  I am NEVER coming back here again.  I lose the $5 and a $20.  Then I decide I want to play quarter four card Cleopatra Keno.  At four quarters a card, this will cost me $4 each game.  Which I am fine with.  Which Downtown Grand is not fine with because it will not let me play more than four quarters TOTAL for each game.  So one quarter on each card. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.  Bad Downtown Grand, bad.

I did hit quarter sevens here though:
quarter sevens downtown grandI leave here and go to The D to use my $5 free play from an offer that I will not use because it is buy one night, get the second night free.  Nope. Never.

the d las vegas

I don’t have my card but I am already settled so fine, I’ll play without it and then get a new one later so I can use the free play.  But the guy next to me is reading all my cards aloud to me so I need to cash out.  May as well go get a card then…

I get a card and am given my $10 food voucher that also came with my offer.  Because at this point, I really need all these food vouchers I cannot stop collecting.  I don’t even bother collecting anymore of the Boyd ones that I have enough points for to use the American Casino Guide coupons to collect.  I wish I could even them out and use them later in the trip but they all expire before I will need them.  I still have a Gold Coast buffet voucher in my wallet that expires in December as well.

I play and lose at The D.  I go to Four Queens and get $10 free play from Las Vegas Advisor and lose that as well.  I have now lost my entire night’s budget.  I want another coffee from Dunkin Donuts but I cannot bear to have to yell my order three times again so I pass. It is so fucking cold outside.

Back to California for some more money and then to Main Street Station for the buffet.  I have a free voucher from yesterday’s play at California / American Casino Guide coupon.  The woman in front of me hands me a receipt and tells me my buffet is on her.  No it is okay, I am already here for free.  Figures my Santa Fe Station karma comes back when I do not need it.

After eating, I decide to play $100 on quarter Supertimes Pay video poker.  Of course I do.  This is what you do when you have won money, you lose more money.  So I followed the rules and came back to the room to sulk….and to get more money to lose more money.  And I did.  As I am typing this, I have no idea why on earth I thought it was a good idea to play dollar video poker.  But if I had won, well…yeah.

Last ditch effort got me a last ditch four of a kind win.

california jacks

I was in my room at 9:00.  Spent some time typing stuff I cannot post because I refuse to pay for internet.  And was in bed by 10:00.

Gambling Day: + $800
Gambling Trip: + $1380
Miscellaneous: (tips, coffee and coffee): $9.37
Comps used: California hotel stay
Freebies:  MyVegas buffet at Santa Fe Station, Main Street Station buffet via a coupon in American Casino Guide. donut at Lapperts that ended up being my dinner.

Today’s itinerary.  I did not make it to Suncoast or Rampart because it was too cold out to be on a bus.  That plus I needed to use the free play coupons that I did not use last night.

Saturday, December 26, 2015
Breakfast: Santa Fe Station 8-11 free MyVegas
Suncoast 4:30-9 50% off LVA
Suncoast 5x points ACG
Rampart $10 free LVA
Downtown Grand 2x points promo
Ellis Island 10x

Silver Sevens slots 10x vp 4x

Christmas Trip to Las Vegas: Every Trip Has an Annoying Day

Thursday, December 19: Day Four of Thirteen

I swear, every trip I take to anywhere always has to have one day where everything goes wrong.  Today is that day.

This morning I wake up at MGM Grand, and go about getting ready to start my day.  This morning’s plans were to go to Green Valley Ranch to use a MyVegas reward, and then off to the spa.

This was all suddenly halted when I realized I did not pack one of my medications.  How did I not realize this until today?  Easy.  I had a pill box leftover from my trip to Seattle a couple of weeks ago that I had been using.  When it came time to refill the box this morning, no meds.

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I don’t know how long this problem is going to take to solve so I first go to the front desk at MGM Grand to check out and back in as one reservation I am on ends today and another starts.  Both were MyVegas redemptions but for some reason, they could not combine them.

Here are some pictures of the MGM lobby decorated for Christmas:

MGM Grand Christmas check in MGM Grand Las Vegas golden lion reception

Getting my meds was a bit of an issue.   I thought it would be easy since I use CVS, which is a chain, and wouldn’t ya know it?  There is a CVS right (not really) across from MGM Grand.

My doctor was not in his office, he was in a different office I do not have a phone number for.  I didn’t have a pen on me so I had to try and memorize the new number which requires using my brain, which I am clearly not capable of.

The pharmacist was not very helpful and was borderline mean to me.  He kept cutting me off and then looked me up and said “You are not due for any refills” before I could even explain that I know this, if you would let me speak…

When I finally got this all settled, my health insurance would not cover the meds because I had just gotten a prescription filled at home.  So instead of $25 for 90 days, I paid $30 for ten pills.

This whole ordeal took too many hours (yes, hours) and now I am running way too late to make my spa appointment.  Of course, booked with a Groupon and non refundable / must cancel 24 hours in advance.  Sure I could call and plead my case, but today is Annoying Day.  It would just be wasting my time.

I went back to my room with a pounding headache.  Partially from being so late taking my medication, partially from frustration, and partly from being starving.   I had the bright idea to go get a cup of coffee from McDonalds and go back to bed.  It was so cold out that I wanted hot coffee, and I do not like hot coffee from Starbucks.

This starts an insane running all over MGM Grand looking for the stupid food court that after half an hour, I never found.  I almost cried at one point, low blood sugar, frustration, terrible day and so on.  I had passed the food court when taking the monorail, why can’t I freaking find the damn thing?   I went to my room completely defeated and went back to bed.

While sleeping, I had a dream that someone had me pinned down and was drilling a hole into my temple.  It was so realistic that I actually jumped awake, smashing my arms at this person to get them off me.   Oh hey.  That thing drilling a hole into my temple is the sound housekeeping is making by pounding on my door so hard that you would think she was being chased by a mass murderer and her only route of escape was through my room.  “HOUSEKEEPING” BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM.  Did she have a fucking baseball bat or a wrecking ball?  How the hell is anyone pounding THAT loud.  Maybe she should do less cleaning of rooms and more Strong Arm competitions.

I yelled at her through the door to go away and she yells back “are you checking out today?”  NO.  I get that because I had a reservation ending today and another one starting today, that my room probably showed up on an outdated list that it would be vacant today.  Can’t she just call the front desk in these instances?  Yes, there was a “do not disturb” sign on my door.  Yes I am still mad.

When I finally woke up, I headed to Red Rock to use a MyVegas reward for Friday night dinner.  Google maps told me to take the WAX bus to the 206 bus.  Google is an asshole.  I should have taken the monorail (free tickets with MyVegas!) to the Sahara Express bus.

I was on the WAX for a while.   Some woman was dead asleep and while we made a turn, her purse tumbles onto the floor, everything spills out of it and her purse keeps traveling until it is under a seat on the opposite side of the bus from her.   Everyone just kind of watched and said nothing.  I did not want to wake her up, the whole act of having to go and wake up a stranger is creepy.  Like do you stand over the stranger and yell “HEY” or do you nudge her awake?  I don’t know you, I don’t want to touch you.   We weren’t making any stops at this point and before the next stop, she woke up on her own and I pointed out where her purse went.  That was my good (not so good) deed of the day.

Red Rock casino:  This place is really nice and fancy.  I stayed here one time and of course my luck meant that the bathroom above me was leaking into my bathroom.  This happened as I was getting ready to check out.  I don’t mean a couple of drops, I mean there was a waterfall in my bathroom.

Redeeming my reward was super easy.  Dinner was really good (and FREE!)

Afterwards, I put $5 into a Cleopatra Keno. got a $50 bonus, and took the money and ran.  I probably would have played a lot more but I needed to get back to MGM Grand to watch the Amazing Race finale because I LOVE TELEVISION.

The bus back was one of the more annoying bus rides of my life.  There was a woman who had never ridden a public bus before, who was loudly and nonstop gushing about how excited she was to be among the common people.  She was so overjoyed in the most annoying way.   She kept talking so loud “I cannot believe IIIIIIIIIIIIII am on a public bus!”  Giggle giggle tee fucking hee!   Then she begins texting people and posting on Facebook all about how “I am riding a public bus!” which we all were kept updated on because she is talking aloud to some guy, reading aloud all the text message responses and comments on her Facebook page.  Things like “Watch out for weird people!” and “Hold onto your purse!”  Shut up.  She asked three times if there was a way to guarantee she could ride a double decker bus later for her ride back.  Yes, you can call and reserve one.  “Really?”  NO.

I had wanted to stop at SLS on my way back to sign up for the player’s club and get some free play but it was nearing Amazing Race time.  I bypassed the casino and hopped on the monorail to go back to MGM Grand.  When I got off the monorail at MGM, I redeemed the rest of my monorail passes from MyVegas.

I head towards my room and ACK my key will not work for me to enter the West Wing.

For those of  you who are not familiar with the West Wing Rooms at MGM, there are two ways to access them.  One is through a door that is nearer (but not really near) the lobby.  The other is all the way by the Strip.  If you are walking through the casino, you pass the Rain Forest Cafe and walk all the way to your right, through a little “lobby” and then through a door.  You need your key to get through the door at both entrances.  Mine is now not working at the one nearest (but not really near) the lobby.   My room is like two feet from the other door but I don’t know if it will work there.  Meanwhile AMAZING RACE LET’S FREAKING GO.  So I make a decision to go to the front desk to get a new key.  Then I have to go alllllllllllllllllllllllllllll through the entire casino to get to my room.  Getting to my hotel room from the monorail which is inside my hotel took me 22 minutes.  I know this because the monorail passes I bought were time stamped.   This is seriously going on my list of reasons why I am not returning to Las Vegas in 2015.

After the Amazing Race ends, I go back out.  I am headed to SLS to get some free play.  I somehow end up getting off the monorail at Westgate (formerly LVH, which was formerly Hilton) to see if they are offering any free play with new sign ups.  They are not as they are using the same player’s club as LVH.

Westgate looking all pretty.  Not sure what that “T” is up top where the Hilton turned LVH logo used to be?

Westgate Las Vegas

I sit down and play anyway.   Nickel Double Double Bonus video poker.  I am in a bank of four machines.  I am on the left.  There is a man next to me and the two machines to the right of him have two people who are facing each other talking and not playing.   But one of them is inserting a TITO ticket into the machine and hitting “cash out” over and over and over and over and over as he is talking.   This is driving me absolutely bat shit crazy.  Every two seconds that stupid cash out noise.  If my machine was multi denomination, I would have upped to quarters to get away faster.

Q: Why didn’t you just cash out and move instead of trying to lose your money faster?


I leave here with less money than I arrived with.   Went outside, walked across the street to the AM/PM and got a super sized fountain Diet Pepsi and walked to SLS.

I signed up for a card and got $5 free play from showing a monorail pass and a mystery amount of free play for being a new sign up.   I believe the amounts vary from $3-500 and I got $6.  I played Cleopatra Keno on a machine that was so frustrating because it was set to  have a couple of seconds of delay between games so I had to keep hitting the button repeatedly…or not be a degenerate gambler who wants to play NOW COME ON ALREADY.  Which do you think I chose?

I lost money here and headed back to MGM Grand.  While riding the monorail my combined aggravation of the entire day was vented by way of me yelling aloud like a crazy person to the automated monorail voice about “SHUT UP” when he would gleefully announce “We are high up over the Las Vegas strip!  Literally, SIXTY FEET OVER THE LAS VEGAS STRIP!”   No way Automated Monorail Voice Thingy, SIXTY FEET?  By gosh by golly.  And here I thought that being on a train 16,640 feet over sea level when I went to Tibet was amazing!   Mind you, the monorail is about as close to being over the Las Vegas Strip as Laughlin is to being on the Las Vegas Strip.  Stupid overly excited automated monorail voice man thingy.

And thus concludes my required day of annoyance for my trip.   Unless you want to add that I also lost fifty bucks playing a Clue slot machine at MGM on my way back to my room.  Okay, sounds fair.  Let’s include that too.  Good night.

OH yeah.  Here was my itinerary for today:

Friday, December 19, 2014
Breakfast: Green Valley Ranch – Free MyVegas
Spa! 12:00 
Dinner:  Red Rock 4-9 MyVegas
Amazing Race Finale

Las Vegas Courtesy of MyVegas Rewards

Las Vegas: December 17, 2014, Day Two of Thirteen

This morning I woke up at Palace Station at 6:33 am. This means I had about four hours sleep after a very exhausting and very long day. This is what Las Vegas does to you. It doesn’t matter than I need about fifty more hours of sleep, there are video poker machines downstairs, who can sleep?

I have a free buffet at Palace Station courtesy of MyVegas. Actually I have two because there is no option to get just one, which is kind of annoying. They are obviously going to track the play to see if the cost of giving away free buffets was recovered via play. My account shows I used two and I only used one. They should consider offering single options.

The buffet was really good and my only complaint is that the entire room reeked of ketchup for some reason.

Continue reading

After eating, I got a green tea Frappucino and began playing. And kept playing. Played and played and played. I chased the hell out of the quarter progressive Royal that was nearing $1600. I went way over what I should have and lost it all. I kept trying to get myself to go up to the room to nap and I could not get there. I am not sure how much I lost because I do not want to know how much I lost.

Back up to the room in time to pack and check out. I am moving to the MGM Grand today, for three free nights courtesy of MyVegas. Seriously, if you are not playing this game, why are you not playing this game?

I took the bus from Palace Station to SLS and hopped on the monorail. The monorail is also free courtesy of MyVegas. I got two free round trips before they got rid of those and four single ride tickets. The tickets are good for a year so I redeemed them all (except one) and whatever I do not use, expire next December. The one I did not redeem, I am saving for when I visit SLS because they give you $5 free slot play with a current monorail ticket. So I will get one when I am ready to go there so the date is within the 72 hour period.

I don’t even try to check in early at MGM since they now charge for early check in. Screw that. I leave my bags with the Bell Desk and go off, completely exhausted. I make my way over to Aria to do their daily slot tournament, again courtesy of MyVegas. I had every intention of winning the $500 free play. I was in first place a few times and ended up in second. But that was only for my session, there was one after me and some jerk knocked me out of second and another jerk knocked me out of third. How rude.

Look how pretty Aria is:Aria ChristmasAria bird chairs aria waterfall AriaMy next stop is Bellagio where I have a free dinner buffet courtesy of MyVegas. Today I am clearly the poster child for MyVegas.

I had a slight almost-problem when redeeming my Bellagio buffet.   The one I redeemed required you to be staying at an MGM property, which I am.  But since I had not checked in yet, I did not have a room number and I almost could not redeem it.  This didn’t even occur to me before I got there and once she told me this, it made perfect sense. I was about to cry because I was so tired.  I did not want to walk back to MGM and then back to Bellagio.  And of course, today is the last day of my trip I can use this buffet as the black out dates start tomorrow. The boothling took pity on me and spoke to a manager who allowed me to show my room confirmation as proof I was staying there.  I am eternally grateful for this.

Dinner was very good. At one point a 389646378 member family got seated next to me. There was plenty of space between my table and theirs. One of the little girls plops down right next to me and sits on my camera bag. I actually had to say “You are sitting on my camera” before she gave me a dirty look and got up. I just love people so much.

I ended up taking the monorail back to MGM. The walk to the monorail was longer than the walk to MGM Grand but I am so so so tired and just not in the mood to deal with the Strip. On the Bellagio side, the sidewalks have been reconfigured so you are forced to walk into Aria to get past it. On the Ballys side, you are forced to walk through a strip mall. I hate this so much. So I walked fifty miles to take the monorail, again free courtesy of MyVegas.

I check in and am given room 555 on the third floor of the West Wing. I got so lost looking for it, that I even had to go back to the front desk to get help.

I am not anything resembling a princess who needs a fancy princess room.  The West Wing rooms have quirks. They are small, the window is located behind the bed so it is impossible to look out of, the bathroom is a whole other thing. This thing was designed specifically to make people talk about it, which is like free advertising. When you walk into the room, you are inside the bathroom. The bathroom has no walls, you are just inside it when you walk into the room. Here is the room door, to the right is a wall with a hook to hang your wet towel, next to that is a toilet behind frosted glass.  The shower is also behind a frosted glass door, to the right of the toilet (the shower didn’t make it into the picture) and on the right side of this picture is the sink.

See?  All at the entrance to the room. MGM Grand West Wing bathroom inside door The bathroom is also mint toothpaste themed. MGM Grand West Wing bathroom In the room itself, the panel underneath the television was removed so all the wires and electronics were exposed. mgm The closet door was the worst because it would not stay shut. It has an automatic light inside that comes on when the door opens.  So since the door would not stay closed, the light would always be on. I don’t know why I do not have a picture of it, but the closet door is enormous.  It goes all the way to the ceiling and is the same width as the entertainment center.  So when there is light around the edges, there is a lot of edge. It was such a heavy door that my suitcase leaned up against it was not heavy enough to keep it closed.

Yes, I could have called the front desk and requested a new room, no I did not.

Bed: bed Room view: room viewIt is now near 8:00 so I turn on the television to watch Survivor and the television tells me “You are successfully checked out” and turns off. Please television, not now. I would like to thank Survivor for existing because it kept me in my room for three hours. I was totally nodding off and had to actually stand up to not fall asleep. As it is, I missed the last fifteen minutes of the reunion. It honestly makes you wonder how I handle anything in my lifestyle if I cannot handle staying awake for television while on vacation.

This was my itinerary for today, I did everything except the free play at SLS.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Breakfast: Palace Station 7-11, free via MyVegas
SLS – new sign up free play
Check into MGM Grand

Aria Slot Tournament


Bellagio buffet 3:30 – 10:00, free via MyVegas
Survivor Finale