Las Vegas Trip Report: First Time Visiting Cosmopolitan and a Fun Game of “Is It Heroin or Is It Spam?”

Thursday, December 16, 2010 

[This is day three of a nineteen part trip report.   To start at the beginning, go here.]

Up at 7:30 at the Gold Coast.  I slept well because of Benadryl.  Out at 8:15.

Monopoly Bigger Event slot machine: I hit a $167 bonus, then got a 13X multiplier for $97.50

I try to cash out but I have time left on my bonus meter and as I am waiting for that to run out, the bonus hits again!  This time I only got $8.30

Cash out with $150.

Gold Coast buffet for breakfast, I had the best server ever.  She never once let my coffee cup go empty.  LOVE her.

After eating, it is back up to the room to get dressed and sort out my money.  Then it is back down to play!

Wizard of Oz: Ruby Slippers slot machine, huge bust.

Press Your Luck slot machine: $20-$0

Keno: $60-$0

Quarter Double Double Bonus video poker: $40-0, followed by $20-$0

It is time to check out of the Gold Coast.  My hotel bill is $2.96.

I leave my bags with the bellman and head to the strip for coffee and cigarettes.  I am also going to visit  the Cosmopolitan casino, which opened last night.

My first stop is  Ellis Island.

$20-$0 in triple line nickel Double Double Bonus video poker.

$10-$0 in a nickel progressive Double Double Bonus video poker game.

$20-$50 on an Ultimate X Double Bonus video poker in pennies, so so so so so so much fun.  I could show you lots of blurry cell phone pictures, but I would hate to force your eyes into a permanent cross.  Then you would never be able to read my trip reports again and that would just be terrible!

Lunch is at Ellis Island’s coffee shop with a 50% off coupon from the Las Vegas Advisor.  Bacon mushroom cheeseburger.  My waitress is an idiot.

It’s 12:35.

I walk back to the Strip and head for the Bellagio.

Bellagio Las Vegas

In the casino, I play an All That Glitters 2 slot machine.  I Love this game!  $60-$90.

All That Glitters 2 slot machine

I rode the Bellagio people mover and of course, had to take the same pictures I take on every trip to Las Vegas because LAS VEGAS.
View of Paris Las Vegas from BellagioLas Vegas Strip view from Bellagio moving walkwayview of Caesars Las Vegas from Lake Bellagio

Once I got to the end, it was time for my first visit to Las Vegas’s newest casino, Cosmopolitan. It just opened last night.

Cosmopolitan Hotel and Casino Las Vegas NevadaCosmopolitan Hotel and Casino Las Vegas NevadaCosmopolitan Hotel and Casino Las Vegas NevadaCosmopolitan hotel Las Vegas

This place is gorgeous.  It had a ginormous chandelier that is the main visual attraction.

Cosmopolitan Casino Chandelier Las Vegas NevadaCosmopolitan Casino Chandelier Las Vegas NevadaCosmopolitan Casino Chandelier Las Vegas NevadaCosmopolitan Casino Chandelier Las Vegas NevadaCosmopolitan Hotel and Casino Las Vegas Nevada

I want to play quarter Supertimes Pay video poker.  The machine is stuck on Double Bonus video poker, cannot get it to change to Double Double Bonus video poker.  I hit four of a kind fours and turn my $40-$100.

Cosmopolitan Bonus Pokers 4s

Played an I love Lucy slot machine, $40-0.  I never got the bonus.  HATE.

Greenback Attack slot machine: $20-$60.

Quarter Double Double Bonus video poker 8/5 pay table with a progressive: $20-$70 by hitting four of a kind sixes and then $20-$0

Cosmopolitan quarter 6s

Went to the Barbary Coast (I will not call it “Bill’s” because that name is stupid) and lost $40.

Bills Gambling Hall and Saloon Las Vegas Nevada

I took the free shuttle back to the Gold Coast to grab my bags.  I almost murdered some man trying to push past me on the shuttle. I took a cab to my second hotel of the trip, the El Cortez.   Its 4:30.

I hate my cab driver.  He keeps asking me the same questions over and over, convinced that he will eventually find the magic combination of words to make me feel horrible that I am staying at a hotel that I love, that he does not think I should love.  I’m trying to look busy playing on my phone and it won’t work.

I hate looking out the window and seeing the completely barren wasteland between Encore and Circus Circus.

We arrive at the El Cortez.  I am going to be staying here for six nights, which is really unlike me.  The first three nights are on a comp, the last three are via an offer where for $99, I get three nights + a combination of free dining and free play that total the $99.

I am given room 5522 in the Pavilion Tower, where I choose to stay since it is the only option that has smoking rooms.  These rooms are furthest from check in.  You have to go all the way through the casino to the front.  Then you get in an elevator and go around the corner to your room.  You get kind of a balcony view as you walk to your room, since you are walking outside.

El Cortez Pavilion balcony

I get to my room and my key doesn’t work.

I have to then go all the way back to the front desk.  Of course I have to pee.  I stumble across a woman who is passed out on the floor, with a huge crowd around her.  OUT OF MY WAY PEOPLE I HAVE TO PEE.  I get my new key.  I go all the way back.

The soap in my bathroom is used and there is some weird item on the dresser.  At the time, I was convinced it was heroin and I threw it out in a garbage can outside my room.   Since then, it has been suggested that maybe this was rotten Spam Musubi, left behind by a guest before me.  I am honestly not sure which option is more gross.

mystery meat

I have $85 (and $100) left for tonight.

Tonight I am using a 2x points multiplier coupon at the El Cortez that came with my room offer.

I try my quarter Double Double Bonus video poker progressives that I love so much.  $20-dealt tens = $70

El Cortez quarter dealt tens
$15 free play = $0
Quarter keno, $40-$0
Nickel keno, $5-$0

Invaders From the Planet Moolah slot machine:


Sabertooth Last Emperor slot machine:

$5-$10 first spin

Quick Hit slot machine: zero (I didn’t note how much I put in)

Rawhide slot machine: $10-$40

All That Glitters 2 slot machine: $20-$0.

I Love Lucy slot machine:  $40-$0 played foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  No bonus.

I stop for dinner at Café Cortez and get the Prime Rib.   I charge it to my room as it will be covered by the dining credit that is part of my comp. Its 7:30, I am exhausted. My plan is to go to bed right after dinner.

I hate when I’m at the El Cortez and I forget why i ever wanted to be here.  Sometimes I love being here.  Sometimes I feel like all I ever do here is just play the same machines that I have been playing for years and I get bored.  That’s happening now and I’m here for six nights.  Ugh.  At least I am paying for three so I am not obligated to play on those days.

Dinner was excellent but the server was horrible. When I FINALLY got my order taken, some guy who was frustrated with his wait time to have his order taken, yelled to me “Hey kid, you must be a VIP!”

After eating, I did not play and instead went to my room.  Score!  I am already bored of the El Cortez.  This happens sometimes. I now have what is left for today’s budget ($200 still) to hold for the future.  This may be the first time ever.

Sleep by 10:00

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