Las Vegas Trip Report: The Day That Started Before Yesterday Ended

I woke up at Sunset Station.  The alarm clock said 1:19 and my first thought was that I slept through the entire night and it was 1:19 in the afternoon. Nope, morning.  My nap had lasted ten hours.  Not 22, idiot.

I got up and played on my phone. Good thing I did not go right back to bed as shortly after, the alarm clock went off from the previous guest.  I could not figure out how to turn it off so I just unplugged it.

What should I do now?  I tried sleeping again but it didn’t take.   So obviously, I went down to gamble.  And had the realization that I never want to be anywhere that is not downtown ever again.  Here is why:

I needed cigarettes and coffee.  The gift shop is not open, Starbucks is not open.  It is negative eleventy billion degrees outside.  Even if I were willing to go out there (I was not) it is one-freaking-something am and I don’t know which way to walk to find anything once I am out there.

I was fortunate that the casino had cigarette machines around ($9.00 a pack, cheaper than New York, that’s for damn sure) but my only choice for coffee in a cup that I could have next to me at a machine was a cocktail waitress.  Of which I saw none.

If I had been downtown, I could have had a choice of Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks. Both 24 hours, both a short walk away. If it had not been eleventy billion degrees below zero, I could have went outside.  But I am at a local’s casino with about 89234783 exits.  I don’t know where anything is outside. It is too cold to go exploring. Let’s talk about that for a bit, shall we?

I go to Las Vegas every December for Christmas, have for at least twelve years.  Save for that one year I went to Atlantic City instead and my waiter at breakfast clearly pitied me being solo and paid me extra special attention, as I vowed to never return due to that extra special pity attention that I most certainly did not require.

Point is, I know it is cold here in December.  I am not one of those idiots who thinks “Las Vegas is the desert!” and shows up during a snow storm dressed for Hawaii.  But this year it is so much colder than normal.  I will remember it always. Like that one year when my sister was with me and it was insanely cold and every time I think about that trip, my first thought is “It was so fucking cold that year!”  I remember being outside Walgreens on Fremont Street and running inside to warm up before continuing my walk to El Cortez.  It is that cold this year.  With a winter coat on, I do not want to go outside because the wind sends pain like knives through my winter coat.

Walking from my room to the casino is down a very long hallway with windows that are rattling from the wind.  This hallways is frozen.  Inside, with a coat on, the hallway is frozen.  So no. I am not going to go outside in the dark and wander around for an hour trying to find coffee.  I am going to instead, give the closed Starbucks inside Sunset Station my patented middle finger as I walk by it on my way to losing all my money.

The casino is as empty right now as it was full earlier this afternoon.  Every machine I touched played so loud that I was telling the machine “shut up already” and it would not.

I played a Buffalo slot.   It is always a good idea to play money sucking slots when you are on a losing streak.  Or if you are an idiot.  Fortunately, sometimes the gambling gods pity idiots and will do things like give you a $120 bonus win. Yay!

I played some Supertimes Pay and hit my favorite hand!  So pretty!

aces kicker

I then went to play Cleopatra Keno.  I wanted to play eight quarters a game, but the machine maxed out at four.  Why?  Why do you do this?  The gambling gods are watching out for me.  Why do YOU care if I want to lose two bucks a game?  Argh.  Stupid casino.

I switch back and forth between Keno and Double Double Bonus video poker until my budget is gone.  And Starbucks has still yet to open.

I have 45 minutes until Starbucks.  I need coffee.  I could probably walk to my room and back to kill 45 minutes, lord knows it is far away enough.  But CASINO!  So I put a $20 from my Buffalo wins into a different Buffalo machine and win $200.  Whoa.

Now I have $400 in winnings and no coffee.  Because Starbucks is still not open.  By now, a cocktail waitress has started stalking me but as any degenerate gambler knows, why on earth would I order a free coffee, when instead, I could gamble until Starbucks opens?  So I do.  And $100 later, Starbucks is open and I am able to purchase the most delicious cup of iced coffee ever.

I head back to my room, mad at myself.  Partly for losing $100, partly for my sleeping pattern, mostly for being an asshole in every which was possible. But how about that iced coffee?  Mmmm.

It is still painfully early.  I hang out in the room for a bit, mostly alternating between typing this report and hitting “refresh” more times on Facebook than I would like to admit.

Finally, 8:00 am rolled around and I went downstairs to redeem a MyVegas buffet for breakfast. Since the reward is good for two people, I tried to again get a second receipt for each so I could give one away, as the cashier at Santa Fe Station had voluntarily done for me.  This cashier told me it is not possible.  Oh well.

I normally don’t pay attention to people because I do not care, but I did notice one woman who had a plate overflowing with toast.  She had about ten slices on it.  She was sitting across from me.  Her husband (I am guessing here) then came and dropped off another ten slices for her.  She was sitting there buttering away during the entire time I ate my breakfast.  I found that insanely odd.

After eating, I played a bit and lost more than a bit.  I lost $200 of my remaining $300 winnings from this morning.  Sigh.   Then I went to the front desk to check out and check back in. I had booked two nights here via MyVegas before they changed the rewards to one per person.  So I am stranded here another night, still reluctant to go outside.  I also have a free MyVegas dinner buffet but probably cannot use it as you are only allowed to use two rewards per 24 hours and I have already used a buffet and a room.  Sigh, should have stuck to my itinerary and used that last night.  Except that I slept through last night.

I came back to the room to try and nap again.  I feel like I have been doing this too much.  I originally wanted to take my first trip to the North Las Vegas casinos today.  I also realized I never used my $5 free play at Plaza coupons from both American Casino Guide and Las Vegas Advisor.  Both expire this week.  But I do not want to go outside. Every time I walk the hallway from my room to the casino, I am frozen.  And this is an inside hallway.  The Plaza coupons are grinding my gears and I suspect I will end up taking a trip to use them.  Because degenerate.  Also because Dunkin Donuts.

I went back out in the evening…to gamble some more OBVS.  I ended up losing the last $100 of this morning’s winnings because of course I did.  Duh.  I had $5 free play from my points and ran that up to $6.25 on a nickel Double Double bonus video poker game.  Then I got that up to $10. And then turned that $10 into zero because that’s what I do.

I ended up eating Subway for dinner. I hate when I do this.  Whenever I am losing so I grab something to bring back to the room to settle in with a book.  It sounds like a good plan but the fact is that I am now paying for crappy food, when I have comps to cover non-crappy food.  But the non-crappy food is in a casino and I need to leave the casino.  So losing costs me even more by paying for food.  Idiot.

sunset station las vegas

Gambling Day: – $0
Gambling Trip: + $880
Miscellaneous: (tips, coffee, Subway and cigarettes) $38
Comps used: NOPE.
Freebies:  MyVegas room at Sunset Station, MyVegas buffet reward for breakfast at Sunset Station

My itinerary for today: Yes, nope, nope, nope, nope and nope.

Monday, December 28, 2015
Breakfast: Sunset Station, 8-11 free MyVegas
Lunch:
Dinner:
Mirage buffet 3-9 free MyVegas
Sam’s Town 20x buffalo, 11x reels, 7x vp (kiosk)
2000 points Longhorn casino (400 = $1 comp) ACG
Longhorn $5 free play ACG
Gold Coast 30x slots (kiosk)

7 thoughts on “Las Vegas Trip Report: The Day That Started Before Yesterday Ended

    1. jenniferjennifer Post author

      That is perhaps the easiest solution to all my life’s problems and it never occurred to me when I was there. Sigh.

      Reply
  1. Mike

    On my only solo trip to Las Vegas, I visited in March. The temperatures were in the 50s to low 60s during the day, and maybe the low 40s or high 30s at night. The day before I left New Jersey, we got a foot of snow. The day I left, the temperature was 18. The first night I was there, I was playing craps at the El Cortez. The dealer on my end of the table was sweating her ass off, as she was standing right below a vent that was BLASTING heat. I commented to her about the excessive heat, and she told me it was because of how cold it was outside. I said “Honey, I just came from NJ where we had a foot of snow and it was 18 degrees. Tomorrow I’m wearing shorts. It’s not cold here.” During this trip, once the sun went down, I saw people bundled up like we were at a ski resort in the mountains. IT WAS 45 FUCKING DEGREES!

    Reply
    1. jenniferjennifer Post author

      Oh man, that was going on during this trip too, the heat blasting in the casino. Yeah it is cold outside, but you are not trying to heat up OUTSIDE. It made it so annoying to need a winter coat, but to have to carry it around because as soon as you walked inside, heat is blowing on your face.

      Reply
  2. Paul farmer

    Love your trip reports. I am a Vegas vet like you and have been trying to loosen its grip on me. But after 30 years and 40 trips I give up. Vegas owns me. Your reports are funny above all, detailed, accurate, informative and sarcastic-love them! My wife and I are driving to Vegas in June 2016 from NW Ontario, Canada, a 30 hour joyride because the prize after all is Vegas. Keep up the good work from one degenerate gambler to another.

    Reply
    1. jenniferjennifer Post author

      Thanks so much Paul! That is quite the drive you two are taking. I would love to do something like that one day.

      Reply

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