This morning I woke up at the Flamingo Hotel. I went to bed a winner, I woke up a winner, I am a winner!
Daytime room view, cock blocked by the Donny and Marie wrap.
I noticed there is a tiny bit of the Donny and Marie hotel wrap missing. I tried taking photos through the clear spot. It kind of worked if I stood on my tip toes and held the camera up as high as I could reach.
I just finished up posting my last Vegas trip report, which was a nonstop blood bath where my biggest win was a whopping $108. What a sad, depressing trip that was!
Still, when my job reminded me I had two days off to use in August, I booked another trip. I got two comped (plus resort fee, fuck you) nights at Flamingo and three at Fremont, which is my favorite hotel in all of Las Vegas, despite it being tiny and crappy. I had originally booked a MyVegas reward for two nights at Monte Carlo. In the end, I ended up cancelling (and losing my points) for that. I really just like smoking rooms in Vegas. MLife doesn’t have them. I do not want to forfeit my personal comfort for a free salmonella laced plate of scrambled eggs at the Bellagio buffet.
My flight was supposed to leave at 6:30. We boarded on time, which was a shock. We left late despite this, which was not a shock.
I landed at 9:30 and decided to shuttle to Flamingo. We sat there for a good half hour before leaving. And by “good” I mean “FUCKING LET’S FUCKING GO ALREADY.” The driver dropped me off nowhere near the entrance. If I were a degenerate packer, I would have been mad. But my bag is carry on sized so I don’t care.
One thing I love about waking up in Las Vegas is that anything can happen on that day. You legit have no clue what notes you will be writing out when you get back to your room tonight. This morning I am looking out my window at the California hotel at 7:00 am and wishing for the gambling gods to PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE before I get dressed and go out for the day.
I am out by 8:30. I find a penny on heads outside the elevator. Excellent sign.
I play my Buffalo machine here and lose. I decide to put a $20 into quarter Double Double Bonus video poker machine and lose that too. As I am playing it, I have the realization that I have barely played any video poker this trip. This probably explains why I am doing so terribly. My last trip was Buffalo win heavy but I was just incredibly lucky.
That said, I walked over to Binions and played BUFFALO. Nope, still not a winner.
I wanted to have breakfast at Magnolia’s at Four Queens since I have accumulated a bunch of comps here, but the line in insane. Back to Binions I go. I get an omelet and have to pay a couple of dollars for it. Such sacrilege in a town where I am used to comps. I get an iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts and try the casino in Binions again. The only win I get is the Motherlode promotion which gives me a free root beer float. I’ll save this for later.
If you are just tuning in, let me catch you up: I am waking up at California on day four of one of my most unlucky trips to Las Vegas. It isn’t just the losing, although there is plenty of that. It is the fire alarms, the lack of early check ins and the methamphetamine serial killer that would not take my life yesterday.
I am up at 5:12 and I catch the 6:12 am WAX bus to Hooters. Except the WAX bus does not stop AT Hooters. Which I did not realize until we were passing it without stopping. I got off at the next stop and made the long walk back in the desert summer sun. Hate.
I have both the Las Vegas Advisor and American Casino Guide coupons for $10 free play at Hooters. Do you want to guess how that went? Exactly.
Then I went to Tropicana. But I do not have my card. And I am too lazy / heat exhausted to care. So I just keep playing random Buffalo machines, making my way from the entrance I entered, to the exit on the other side. Where I left with way less money than I entered with.
I was asleep at Planet Hollywood in Vegas when I am awoken by this loud as all fuck noise. At first I think it is my phone. I jump out of bed to make it stop, why is it so fucking LOUD. But it isn’t stopping. I turn on the light and realize it is the fire alarm. It is 3:00 am and the fire alarm is going off, louder than anything that was ever loud before it. It is so loud. SO. FUCKING. LOUD.
I don’t know what to do. Obviously you are supposed to do something, like leave your room. But I don’t want to. I am comfy in my jam jams and just want my heart to stop palpitating. The alarm is not stopping. There are no announcements. I know to not call the front desk, I will be one of a million. I peek out the peep hole on my door and there is nothing out there. Fuck I guess I will get dressed and go downstairs.
As I am putting my shoes on, it stops. Then comes the announcement that it was a false alarm. Then that announcement begins repeating a million fucking times. Holy shit. I came to Vegas to win a million dollars but the real million dollar win will be me inventing a system for hotels where their guests can push a button to acknowledge they heard the first 75 announcements that it was a false alarm. Then it can fucking STOP IT ALREADY.
Good morning Las Vegas! I wake up at New York, New York. It is 6:30 am. I am out by 7:00 and I make a beeline to MY Buffalo slot machine that I could not play last night. I cash out up $25.
I walk over to Excalibur to use a MyVegas reward for breakfast. It is so incredibly hot, even this early in the morning. Bonus: The Excalibur MLife desk doesn’t open until 8:00 so I have half an hour to kill. Wish I would have known this when I was still at MY Buffalo machine at New York, New York.
I play nickel Caveman Keno machine, one nickel at a time. Surprisingly, I double a $5 and then it is time to go.
The Excalibur buffet is very good nowadays. And I am not just saying this because I love that they have Sobe water as a drink option.
I head back to New York, New York I love the view of the casino from the escalator.
Or rather, what about another two surprise trips to Las Vegas?
Yes, I know. “I thought you were never going to Vegas again neener neener I told you so…”
My job decided last minute that we would be getting five days off for Fourth of July. I am not sure if you have ever tried to book a last minute trip on a major holiday weekend. Well I now have and I will tell you, it is expensive to book last minute. Las Vegas was the cheapest option even with inflated airfare and gambling budget. Then again in August, I was reminded I had two free days to use. These days needed to be used in August. Again, while not a major holiday, apparently planning any summer travel last minute is really expensive.
So yes, if I find out last minute I have extended time off work, and that time is not long enough to do things like I would like to, such as go to Turkmenistan, then I will be boring and predictable and go to Vegas.
How much do I hate waking up on my last day in Vegas? I wake up at Mirage this morning, and I don’t want to go home. I really don’t. I sit and check flights, considering staying an extra day, like I did back in December. In the end, I agree to go home. But I am not happy about it.
I am so exhausted from my insistence of visiting every Strip casino, and doing it all in two days. I would love to just stay in this bed for a few more hours, or another week. Hell, just quit my job and stay forever. But I am not allowed.
I got dressed and walked over to Bellagio to use a free MyVegas buffet reward. For anyone who says “How hard is it to mess up breakfast?” I present to you a tray of salmonella.
I wish I would have thought of that snappy post title a bit earlier!
Happy good morning Las Vegas! Today will be my last full day here. I need to finish visiting every casino on the Strip. I need to gamble. I need to get some photos of the Mirage atrium without a million people in the way.
And the casino.
When we last left off, I had just had my biggest win of any Vegas trip. I went to my room for a break. But not for long because I have a ticket for Mystere, right next door at Treasure Island. I took some pretty photos on my walk over.
