Category Archives: Las Vegas

Las Vegas Trip Report: The Day I Forfeit Seeing One of My Favorite Bands, to Play Video Poker

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Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that I am posting for the entertainment of Las Vegas addicts and anyone else who loves fun.  It was written back in 2005.  Most of this information is now outdated and some places mentioned no longer exist.

Thursday, June 9, 2005 – Day Five of Ten

I woke up at the California hotel, very sick again.   My head weighed 834783 pounds.   But I force myself out of bed at around 7:00 am and go out to my vacation.  Breakfast is at the Main Street Station buffet, great as always.   I play some nickel video poker and win $70.   Why haven’t I tried this sooner?

Get back to the room and take some cold medicine and nap.

Go back out at 3:00 and get a Binions burger.  Play a bit and just lose.  Lose lose lose lose lose.   And lose.

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Las Vegas Blog: Sweet Las Vegas Suite

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Las Vegas Blog: Sweet Las Vegas Suite

Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that I am posting for the readers of Las Vegas blogs, entertainment of Las Vegas addicts and anyone else who loves fun.  It was written back in 2005.  Most of this information is now outdated and some places mentioned no longer exist.

Wednesday, June 8, 2005 – Day Four of Ten

Up at?  I have no idea what time I woke up.  I went downstairs and back to nickel video poker.  I’ll tell you, a $5 bill on nickel video poker goes a long way.

Keeping up with my “want to stay at every hotel” shtick, I once again check out and once again switch hotels.  Today it’s the California hotel downtown.   The cab driver starts to take me in circles downtown.  I tell him “the California is the other way.”  He starts to argue a bit.   I start to argue louder.  He then apologizes and tells me that he is very upset.  He heard on the radio that 100 people in his country were shot this morning and he is very worried about his family.   I honestly don’t know if he was jerking me around or not, I just don’t know.  I told him it was okay and just to turn around and go back towards the California.  He did and that was the end of that.
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Las Vegas Trip Report: The Day a Degenerate Gambler is Born!

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Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that I am posting for the entertainment of Las Vegas addicts and anyone else who loves fun.  It was written back in 2005.  Most of this information is now outdated and some places mentioned no longer exist.

Tuesday – June 7, 2005 – Day Three of Ten

So I’m up at 7:00 am at Caesars.   I go down and get coffee and a bagel, it comes to $9.19.   Yep.

I start playing video poker again.   I get up a bit, but don’t want to cash out.   So I play it all down.  And end up a loser.  Oh well.  Time to move hotels anyway…

Check out, store my luggage and hit the strip.  First stop – Bellagio.  Quarter Monopoly slot.  I get the bonus on my first spin and win $50.  Wooooo!   Head over to see the conservatory and the chocolate fountain.   The fountain was not very exciting.  I pictured it being out in the open, and not behind plastic/glass walls.  I don’t know why I thought it would be like this, but whatever.

Bellagio chocolate fountain las vegas

The Bellagio conservatory is Fourth of July themed:

Bellagio conservatory Las Vegas American flag
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Las Vegas Memory Lane Trip Report: My First Time Playing Video Poker!

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Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that I am posting for the entertainment of Las Vegas addicts and anyone else who loves fun.  It was written back in 2005.  Most of this information is now outdated and some places mentioned no longer exist.

Monday – June 6, 2005 – Day Two of Ten

I wake up, exhausted and hey look – I have no voice.  None.  Awesome!   Head to the San Remo buffet.  Raw eggs, gross coffee.  Good bacon though.

Hit the slots again.  Won and put it alllllll back.  Typical.

Check out, grab my stuff and head to Caesars where I am staying tonight.  I get room 5202 in the Centurion tower.  What a nice room.   [2014 called, it wants you to know that I had to double check to make sure these pictures weren’t mislabeled.  This room is so outdated that I feel obligated to remind you that these pictures are nine years old and the rooms no longer look like this.]  The bathroom has a separate shower stall and tub.  It also has fancy schmany bottles of artesian water from Norway.    There is a television in the bathroom.    There is a fake balcony outside my window.

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Las Vegas Trip Report: The One Where I Mentally Murder a Friend Over a Delayed Flight

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Note:  This is an older Las Vegas trip report that I am posting for the entertainment of Las Vegas addicts and anyone else who loves fun.  It was written back in 2005.  Most of this information is now outdated and some places mentioned no longer exist.

Sunday, June 5, 2005 – Day One of Ten

I left New York City on Friday, June 3 and headed to Chicago/Indiana for a fest.

On Sunday, June 5 – I wake up in Chicago and head to the airport.   I am leaving from O’Hare to Vegas; my friend is leaving from Midway to go back to New York City.   We cab it to O’Hare, have lunch, and she takes off to Midway.  I now have a bit over two hours before my flight.

I am hung over and very, very tired.  Finally it’s time to smoke the last cigarette and head to the gate!    Oh no, my flight is delayed 18 minutes.  Uh oh, here comes the Slumlords curse!  See, every time anyone flies to anything that has anything to do with the band Slumlords, they end up having a horrific flight.   Guess who I saw play in Indiana?  Slumlords.   This curse was all started by my friend Carlos, who’s first flight to see Slumlords saw him delayed something like five hours when his plane was hit by lightning.   It continued onto me when I flew to Montreal to see Slumlords.   My friend, who lives in Montreal, called the airport to see if my flight was on time and they told her my flight was cancelled.  So she doesn’t come to pick me up, because she thinks I am not there.   But I am there.  Waiting. And waiting.  I sat at the airport for about an hour before I tracked her down, and boy was I surprised to learn my flight was cancelled, especially since hello – I took it and I’m now in Montreal!    The curse grew stronger when Carlos flew to Baltimore to hang out with Slumlords and then continued onto Vegas.   He hit major turbulence and had a flight with NO air conditioning.   Serves him right since clearly this is all HIS fault for starting this stupid curse.   And now it’s my turn again.
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Another Las Vegas Trip Comes to An End.

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Monday, May 4, 2009 – Day Eleven of Eleven

[This is the last part of an eleven part trip report.  If you want to start at the beginning, go here.]

I’m up at six at Fitzgeralds.  So exhausted from not sleeping last night.  I’m out at 6:30. I lose $20 trying for that $432 Rawhide slot progressive that has to hit by $500.

I have $190 left to gamble with.

I go over to Fremont and play Treasure Chest video poker, lose.

Then I play nickel Supertimes Pay video poker and hit and cash out $30.

I walk over to the El Cortez and cannot win a damn thing.

I go back to Fremont and try a combo of Supertimes Pay and Treasure Chest, nothing and nothing.  Now I’m running out of time.   Nooooooooooo.   I put $30 through a Shockwave poker machine.   This is truly a carnival game but I have to try it.  My money lasts forever on here and I’m hoping for one big win before I have to leave and it never comes.

I get back to my room at eleven and it’s time to check out and leave.  Boooooooo.

I check out, collect my $100 incidentals deposit and walk to the bus.  I get to the airport and check in for my flight.  I only have about 15 minutes to kill; I love when it’s timed like this.

I get on the plane and aim for the last row in hopes I’ll have it to myself.  No luck.  Some woman sits on me, literally on me.  Pinches my skin.  I yell out “OW” and she apologizes.  Then she turns her back to me and smashes her butt under the arm rest to lean on her husband, and her butt is all up against me for the entire flight home.  I felt so filthy and gross. The second to last line in my notes for this trip is “if this woman is barefoot for any moment during this trip, I am going to shove this pen into her jugular.”  The last line in my notes is reminding me that the flight attendant was an Elvis impersonator and did an act for us.

Sigh.

Until next time…

Las Vegas Trip Report: The Day I Whine A Lot in Las Vegas

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Sunday, May 3, 2009 – Day Ten of Eleven – Last Full Day in Las Vegas

[This is part ten of an eleven part Las Vegas trip report.  If you want to start at the beginning, go here.]

I wake up at 10:00 at Fitzgeralds, which is the latest I’ve woken up the entire time I’ve been here.  I’m out at 10:30.

There’s a slot machine named Rawhide something, that has a progressive which needs to hit by $500 and it’s at $430.  I play that a while.  I got a $26.50 line pay.  Then a bonus for $19.78.  But no progressive. Dammit.

I walk over to Four Queens to check to see if I have any comps.  I have neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr in my life used a comp here and I recently discovered that they do have a separate comp system.  So I ask and I’m told that in order to get a comp I need to speak to a host and “you don’t have enough play for a host.”  So you are telling me that after nine years of playing in your casino on EVERY trip I have taken, I can’t even get a free breakfast?  And you don’t send room offers to me.  So I guess I won’t be playing here ever again.  What’s the point when I have a choice of other places who ,for the same amount of play, will give me food and free play and rooms?  Eh?
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Las Vegas Trip Report: A Day I am Slightly Less Degenerate. Slightly.

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Saturday, May 2, 2009 – Day Nine of Eleven

[This is part nine of an eleven part trip report.  If you want to start at the beginning, go here.]

This morning the Race For the Cure is going on outside on Fremont Street.   This depresses me to no end.  Having a mother die of Cancer will do that to you.

I’m awake at Fitzgeralds at 8:00 and out at 9:00.  Fremont Street is such a mess of people right now.

I play a little bit in Fitzgeralds.  Lose $10 on nickel Double Double Bonus video poker and turn $10 into $15 on a penny 25-hand video poker machine by hitting threes with a kicker.

I walked over to the El Cortez, a big mistake on my part since I eventually plan to go to the Strip.  I should have just went straight there as Las Vegas Boulevard is now closed because of the race.  Not to mention that there are a bazillion people over here.

Anyway.

I lose $10 on Invaders From the Planet Moolah and stop for breakfast at Cafe Cortez.

I am down a lot at this point in my trip, which means my note taking gets way more detailed.

I play nickel Double Double Bonus video poker and end my session up $25.

As I’m sitting there playing, a woman nearby is playing Lobstermania, which was my mother’s favorite game.  Between this and the Race For the Cure going on outside, I just want to go back to bed.

But I don’t.
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Las Vegas loses Danny Gans

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Friday, May 1, 2009 – Day Eight of Eleven

[This is part eight of an eleven day trip report.  If you want to start from the beginning, go here.]

I am up at 7:30 at the California.  I have the news on when they break through with a special report to announce Danny Gans died.  If you are unaware of who this is, you are not alone. I had once watched an interview with him where he joked about being famous for not being famous.  Outside of Las Vegas, he wasn’t well known.  But in Las Vegas?  He was a top tier celebrity, the modern day entertainment king of this city, “The Man of Many Voices.”   He was the very first Las Vegas entertainer to warrant a $100 ticket price and at this price, his shows were forever sold out.  I had taken my mother to see him and she absolutely loved his show.  Being in Las Vegas, and watching this unfold live on the news was very shocking.

Okay, brush it off.  Let’s go outside.

I go out to Fremont where I lose $200.  I didn’t write on what.   I hate when my notes are like this.

Moving along.
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Even When in Las Vegas, Television is Life

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Tuesday, April 30, 2009 – Day Seven of Eleven

[This is part seven of an eleven part trip report.  If you want to start at the beginning, go here.]

I get woken up at 7:30 am at the California, by a very useless text.  I can’t fall back asleep so I go out and get breakfast at the Golden Gate coffee shop.  And I lose $100.  I’m all crabby because I touched those stupid tails-pennies I touched last night and now I’m losing AND it’s only 9:12 am.

My notes now have me confused, as I was writing them I swore I broke THREE one hundred dollar bills to fund my degenerate gambling but it seems I was only missing two.  This is really not a bad thing to confuse I suppose.

I lost some of that money on Supertimes Pay.  I don’t know what else I lost it on.

I played Treasure Chest video poker at Fremont and got dealt a straight flush.

I did not cash out.

Oh and since I’m in degenerate, I play FIFTY CENT Treasure Chest video poker after losing my straight flush win. Thankfully, after moving down, I got some full houses that brought me back up and I snapped to my senses and cashed out even.

I head back to my room at 11:00 to shower and nap.
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