Las Vegas Trip Report: ACES!

Day 10 Las Vegas trip report!

I woke up at Cosmopolitan.  At 5:00 AM.  View from my balcony:

Was on the world’s longest Starbucks line at 6:00.   That’s a thing in Las Vegas in current times, Starbucks lines.  They are fucking insane.   I stayed at Luxor, where Starbucks opens at 6:00 AM.  I moseyed over at 5:59 and the line was incredibly long.  Don’t even get me started with the Flamingo Starbucks of death, where the line never ends and goes out the door.  These places used to be 24 hours.  I fear this is never coming back.

I played my favorite Ultimate X Double Double Bonus video poker game and whoooooahhhhhhhhhhhh yay.

I tried to play Ultimate X Gold but after putting in my money, the machine went all kinds of bonkers and eventually just shut off completely.  It took forever to get someone to come and help me.

I tried a Buffalo Deluxe and lost $100.  Then tried Wonder Four and had better luck.

I cash that out and then decide fuck it, let me try a $100 bill at max bet.  Holy shit I hit a bonus.  Holy shit I AM GOING TO BE RICH.  Holy shit I hate so much.

I try again to play Ultimate X Gold and fucking again the machine shuts off and I have to wait for someone to come get my money.   I don’t learn lessons well.

I play regular ol’ Ultimate X again and I win again!
I grab breakfast at District Donuts and head back to the room for a shower.  I went to grab a towel. I start SCREAMING.  I swear to god I thought this was a roach.  It is a fucking fake eyelash.  I found the other one inside the towel I had grabbed, that was still stuck to the towel.
What a fucking heart-fucking-a-fucking-tack.

I take a nap and am back out at 5:20.

I stop at Starbucks and walk over to Aria to redeem a MyKonami free play.  I somehow got incredibly lost in Crystals mall.  I don’t know how.  I have done this walk 23847384 times in my life.  But today, I am so lost in this fucking mall.  Finally I found my way out.

I didn’t win anything at Aria.  Wah.  I am usually surprisingly lucky in this casino.  Not today.

I took an Uber to Excalibur to redeem my MyKonami free play there.  It was a bust.

I walked through to Luxor, expecting Starbucks in the food court to be open as it had shocked my by being open at like 10:00 PM on another trip and it is not even 8:00 yet.  WRONG.  CLOSED.  WHY FUCKING WHY.  Seriously, it should be a law that all Starbucks in Las Vegas should be open a minimum of 18 hours per day.

I am booked at Luxor, but not staying here.  I booked it for $100 in resort credit + $50 free play.  I booked a massage for tomorrow with the resort credit.

I was able to score a Pyramid suite.  I was excited to see one of these babies.  Let me tell you, Luxor can go fuck of with their fucking signage.

I am in room 30041.  I walked around in a circle of the entire floor multiple times before I looked left when the sign told me to look right.
The room is pretty cool.  I wanted to go to bed in here.


I go down and play my free play on my favorite Supertimes Pay video poker machine.

I took an Uber to Bellagio to use my MyKonami free play and the fucking player’s club is closed.  It is just after 9:00.  I swear this is frustrating.

I played around a bit, losing like the loser I am.

Walked back to Cosmopolitan and grabbed a French Dip from The Henry to bring to the room.  Opened the bag and the cup of au jus opened and soaked my pajamas, making them reek of meat.  Wonderful.

I am in bed by midnight.

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One thought on “Las Vegas Trip Report: ACES!

  1. Pingback: Las Vegas Trip Report: I Hate the Chelsea Tower at Cosmopolitan - i put my life on a shelf

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