Las Vegas Trip Report: Let Me Get Some Karma Please

My bed at Cromwell is probably the most comfortable bed on the planet.  Because of this, I was actually able to sleep in a bit.  I may have stayed in bed all day if this hotel allowed smoking.  But since it does not, I need to get up and get dressed and go downstairs.

I made the mistake of looking into the mirror.   Have you ever been so hung over that your eyes are completely bloodshot?  Well I have that look going on, but I haven’t drank any alcohol since I arrived here.  I also do not get hangovers, not even when I drink for twelve hours a day for four straight days at a fest.  I am not sure what is going on here, but let’s just pretend we didn’t look in the mirror and go about our day, shall we?

I continue on my mission to consume as much free fancy schmancy coffee as I can, to offset the resort fee.  On this morning’s third (or fourth or fifth?) cup, they ran out of milk.  Sigh.  Do not think that will deter me.  This fancy schmancy machine has the option of adding steamed milk.  SO I SHALL!

I played for a while on Ultimate X.  I love this game, I love this particular machine.   It allows me to actually play without sucking up all my money in the blink of an eye.   Then I hit Aces with a multiplier.  Wheeeeeee!

For nickels, figuring out how much you won is easy.  Divide the number in half and knock off the last zero.  So 2400 nickels = $120.

aces with 3x ultimate x video pokerAs I am taking  the photo, the woman next to me starts asking me what I am playing, how do you play it, etc.  I make it very clear to her that this game is very volatile and when you lose, you lose fast and hard.

But in the end, that doesn’t matter because she hits this.

dealt royal flush ultimate x video poker

Are you fucking kidding me.

I went upstairs and drowned my jealousy in a brownie that I had brought with me from Smiths Supermarket yesterday. This was a four pack and I wish it were an eleventy billion pack because these brownies were so good.

I took a nap and then got dressed to go see Criss Angel “Believe” at Luxor.  This was free via MyVegas.  Everyone will tell you how bad this show is.  But I want to see it and it is FREE so I am going to see it.

I don’t want to deal with the Deuce bus so I just walk from Cromwell to Luxor.  I am shocked to tell you that not even once did I have to tell anyone to “move it”, or tell anyone to watch where they are walking.   What a nice walk this was!

I took some photos while walking.  It is about time my camera got some action.  I have spent close to $2000 on this camera and all its accessories and the entire time I have been here, I have been taking photos with my phone exclusively.  And they are all crooked.  Good job.

ballys cosmopolitan las vegas strip excalilbur las vegasplanet hollywood casino las vegasluxor las vegas sphinxnew york new york las vegaslas vegas stripI arrive a tiny bit too early so I sit down and play nickel Cleopatra Keno.  This machine sucks.  There are filthy ashtrays all over the place, with tissues in them.   People, these things are meant to hold burning ash.  Do not put flammable items in them.  Sheesh.  I also cannot win a damn thing.

Then it was show time.  The show was not bad at all.  I think it has a horrible reputation because it is billed as a Cirque du Soleil show and there is zero acrobatics in it.   It is a magic show.  The only thing I did not like about it is that somewhere near me, someone smelled like a dirty diaper.  Other than that, it was pretty good.

After the show, I had planned to play live Keno, a la the Griswolds in Vegas Vacation.  This is where they won, this is where I am going to win.  Or this is where I am going to get lost walking around the casino for a million  years and never finding the live Keno.  It is not possible that they do not have live Keno here, is it?  This is a casino!  But I cannot find it so I give up and walk through Excalibur and get lost in there for half my life.  I am lost for so long that I have time to replay my entire life story in my head.  During this trip down memory lane, I start to remember my vows to never enter this property again because I have never once found an exit with ease.  But I did find live Keno so let’s do this!

I lost.

And then I got lost again trying to find the exit.

But I am pleased to tell you that I am not typing this out in a corner of the castle while building a shelter for my new home.   Eventually, I found an exit.  Yay!

I stopped at Walgreens for water and discovered I really wanted a yogurt with granola. I am in Las Vegas and this is what I am eating for dinner?  Yep.

I stopped at Planet Hollywood for reasons I surely do not understand, and played a bit and lost a bit.  I continued to Cromwell where I put my last $20 of the day’s gambling budget into Ultimate X.  It took me a bit to realize I was playing dimes instead of nickels.  NO.  I switched over to nickels and saw the person who played this before me left three 8x multipliers for me.  Holy shit, i cannot wait to tell my readers how I won a billion dollars on this!  Well guys, you are just going to have to wait for next time because it did not happen this time.

I did rack up another ten coffees today, making my free coffee total so far fifteen.  I love your free coffee Cromwell.

Gambling Day: – $120
Gambling Trip: + $200
Miscellaneous: (water and yogurt):  $6.58
Comps used: Cromwell hotel stay
Freebies:  Ten cups of fancy schmancy coffee at Cromwell, one ticket to Believe.

My itinerary today is stupid because I put a Las Vegas Advisor coupon on it, but the earliest I could even pick up the book is tomorrow.  I also did nothing on it except see Believe.

Sunday, January 3, 2016
Breakfast:  Gold Coast 8:00 am-9:00 pm 200 points = free buffet
Lunch:
Dinner: Ellis Island 50% off LVA
Ellis Island $10 free play ACG/free shirt ACG
Ellis Island free shirt ACG
Criss Angel 7:00 – Luxor

9 thoughts on “Las Vegas Trip Report: Let Me Get Some Karma Please

  1. Rick

    Loving this trip. That Ultimate X win was awesome, but it looks like she won $1,400 and the machine only shows a little over a grand?

    Reply
  2. Janice

    I just love your reports, Jennifer. I loved them years ago on LVA, and I think it’s great how you now have them archived on your web site. Thanks for taking the time to post them. I am trying to gather the strength and bravery to venture to Las Vegas alone. There have been some awesome airfare deals lately, and I would love to just jump on a plane and go.

    Reply
    1. jenniferjennifer Post author

      Thanks so much Janice!

      The only problem with visiting Las Vegas solo, is that it will spoil you and make you never want to travel with another person again.

      Reply
    2. Mike

      I loved my one and only solo Vegas trip. If I could have done some winning before my final 6 hours of that trip, it would have been better.

      Reply
  3. deb

    i stumbled upon your blog while looking online for all things Vegas. We’re headed there in June for our 25th. Your blog is without a doubt one of my favorite Vegas blogs! keep up the good work!

    Reply

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