Las Vegas Trip Report: Let the Degeneracy Begin!

January 31, 2018

I am awake at 6:00, up and out at 7:40.

First stop is Aria, where I am using a MyVegas reward for a breakfast buffet.  This would have normally cost $27.05.   Out of the three times I have eaten here, this was the one where nothing went wrong.   I might come back.  Or not.

I played a bit on Buffalo and Cleopatra Keno

I cross the street to catch the bus to Mirage.  I can see it coming and I attempt to run down the steps.  There are these two assholes on the down escalator standing side by side.  I yell “EXCUSE ME” and they both turn to look at me.  “NO, EXCUSE ME, MOVE IT.  YOU ARE BLOCKING PEOPLE WHO WANT TO WALK.”  They continue to look at me like I am from another planet.  One last yell of “STEP TO THE SIDE AND LET PEOPLE WALK” as one of them makes one take a very slow step down and almost out of the way.   Finally I can get past and I run for the bus and am so close to catching it that I can touch the back door as the bus pulls out.   I turn back around and see the assholes on the escalator just reaching the bottom and I yell a bonus “FUCKING FUCK YOU” towards them.  They don’t even seem to notice.

So let me note to people who do not live in areas of the world where public transportation and walking are a big part of your daily lifestyle:  When going up or down escalators, stand to your right.  The left hand side is left for people who wish to walk up or down.  Thank you.

25 minutes later, the next bus comes.  I get off at Mirage and my first stop is Starbucks to get an iced coffee using my express comps.  My second stop is to redeem a MyVegas reward for $25 free play.  I intend to use it on the Buffalo slot machine I won $1800+ on last year, but that machine is GONE.  NO.  WHY DO YOU DO THIS.  I HATE YOU.  I walked around the entire casino looking to see if they just moved her.  They did not. The spot where she was is now empty.   God damn it.

I sit down and play a Buffalo Deluxe game and lose my free play and then another $100.   Perfect.  EXCEPT NOT.

I go outside and walk down to the bus stop.  This causes a commotion.  As the bus pulls up, I do not attempt to get on as I still have half a cup of iced coffee.  A a bus worker steps off and tells me I cannot board with my iced coffee.  This is fine by me because I wasn’t even trying to.  I am okay with waiting for the next bus.  But she tells the driver to wait for me.  No, go on without me.  “No it is okay, we will wait.”  NO, because I don’t want all these people to wait for me.  I yell “NO, GO” and she again tells me they will wait.  Mother fucker.  I tell her there is not even a garbage can here.  She points to one that from where I am standing, I have to walk about 200 feet.  Not too far to walk, too far when a bus full of people is waiting for you.   Plus i am still not even done with my iced coffee, GO AWAY.  She is not even on the bus, she had stepped off to start this chaos.   She leans into the bus AGAIN and tells the driver to wait for me.  Then she walks away and the bus driver motions for me to get on with my iced coffee.  This was so unnecessary and I apologize to everyone on that bus who had to deal with this.

I get off at Bellagio and use $25 free play here.  It went way better than at Mirage.  I won $60 on Cleopatra Keno and got to play for a couple of hours.

I go across the street and catch the bus to Ellis Island.  I have both the Las Vegas Advisor coupon book coupon for $10-100 free play and the American Casino Guide coupon for $10-100 free play.  I also get a free shirt.

If you have ever redeemed for free play here, you know how it goes.  You turn your coupon in at the player’s club and then you go to a kiosk to pick a chip for your free play amount.  Most people get the $10.  Which I did on one of them.  But I picked the $50 chip for the other one.  No way, holy shit!   I have $60 free play at Ellis Island!  I am going to win a million fucking dollars with it.  I get so excited i text my gambling friend to tell him about how i just picked the $50 chip.  He gets so excited for me.  Then I sit and play and lose it all.  ALL OF IT. How is this even possible?  I was supposed to leave here with the greatest story ever and instead, the only story I am leaving with is a sob one.

I walk from Ellis Island over to the High Roller to catch the B-Connected shuttle to Orleans.   I just make it right before it pulls out.  The shuttle reeks of poop.

At Orleans, I play Cleopatra Keno and it is as traumatizing as it is every time I try to play here. I have problems with every machine here, every time. From the card readers not working, to the screens not working…and if you manage to finally get it to work, it is only then you remember that four card Keno has a max bet of one credit per game. UGH. EVERY. TIME. Why do I come here?

Side note: I used to stay here on every trip. But they Boyd redid their comp system and you can no longer use Orleans offers back to back with Downtown offers. So I stopped staying here and now I will stop playing here.

I took the shuttle back to the Strip and went to Cromwell to play Ultimate X. I left here up $100.

i walked back to Cosmopolitan.  I got to my room at 8:30, not sure what I was going to do.  I wasn’t hungry, so dinner wasn’t necessary tonight.  So I decide to go gamble.  What are the chances?

I am armed with a trenta iced coffee from Starbucks and a budget of $120.  I went back and forth between Buffalo and Ultimate X before getting this and calling it a night.

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23 thoughts on “Las Vegas Trip Report: Let the Degeneracy Begin!

  1. AvatarMike

    When we went in December 2017 we loved the Aria buffet. Sucks that you didn’t.

    Glad you’re back posting!

  2. AvatarTx Steph

    I was just thinking the other day… geez, whatever happened to Jennifer and her blog?? Imagine my surprise when I got an email notification! 🙂 I’m glad you are back as your posts always make me laugh, thanks!

    BTW, I’m sure any Nevada store would have cheaper cigs than New York, right?!

    1. jenniferjennifer Post author

      Hi Steph! I bought full priced cigarettes in NY recently and they were $14. My corner bodega charges me $11. So absolutely yes, they are cheaper anywhere in Nevada.

  3. Avatarjames carroll

    I love your trip reports Jennifer and this one did not disappoint. I would have carried those socks in my pocket for the rest of the trip, I have no shame. The escalator story was great but sorry you missed your bus. You did have a lot of nice hits and congratulations on all of them. I’m going to AC for two nights at the end of April, I may have to try the dirty sock method. LOL.

    Take care, Jim

    1. jenniferjennifer Post author

      Hi Jim! I hope you have a fantastic time in Atlantic City and don’t have to carry dirty socks around.

  4. AvatarNANCY

    oh wow – another great read from Jen…. loved it…. some good hits, good pics, comps you still have = means go back and use them… you make a LV trip sound so much fun and I always feel like I am there with you!

  5. AvatarJan P.

    What a pleasant surprise to see you’re back! I love your style of writing, and you seem to write what I’m thinking. Can’t wait for more!

  6. AvatarKen T.

    Avoid the Steak at all costs at the Fremont buffet, but their Spare Ribs and Chinese dishes are okay. Also, their rolls make a good late night snack. Their crap game is the best in Vegas, but their B.J. games are unplayable

    1. AvatarMike

      Fremont only offers 2x odds on craps and their blackjack is double deck. Where is your information coming from?

  7. AvatarAde

    Thanks to RF I have come across your blog, which I’m really enjoying working my way through.
    Your sense of humour really appeals to this English gent and I like how you write. However, I feel that I am missing photos on your posts that you refer to, unless that is part your style?

    1. jenniferjennifer Post author

      Hi Ade!

      I typically do post the photos I am referencing although to get this report out, I did a last minute rush job and it is possible I missed a couple. I do have about 27 photos leftover where I have absolutely no idea where they belonged. Welcome to my mystery novel blog.

      1. AvatarAde

        Thank you for having me Jennifer!
        Your blog was fun and you certainly managed to get around Vegas a lot in order to lose your money. I’m looking forward to the next mystery novel 🙂

  8. AvatarLorraine Okun

    Welcome Back!!! Such a fan…excited to have 2 more to look forward to. Now that my Mom’s gone I only do solo trips and always feel like you’re reading my mind.

    1. jenniferjennifer Post author

      Aw, I am sorry about your mom! I used to bring my mother on trips to Vegas and so many things remind me of her there.

  9. AvatarVice

    I wasn’t Impressed with the Aria buffet either. The Bacchanal is so much better on so many levels.

    1. jenniferjennifer Post author

      I still haven’t tried Bacchanal. I get so lost every time I go inside Caesars so I just stopped going there.

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