Las Vegas Trip Report: Day Eight of Eight – Plus Bonus Rambling Content

December 3, 2013 – Day Eight of Eight

[This is the final day of my 2013 Thanksgiving trip to Las Vegas.  To start at the beginning, go here.]

Last day WAHHHHHHHHHH.

My flight home leaves at 4:05.  So I have until around 1:30 to still win enough money to not have to go home ever again.

I decide to not start gambling until after I check out so I don’t go too nuts.  I also decide that my goal is to not see daylight until it is time to leave to go to the airport.

Finally check out time comes and I practically bolt down to the casino.  I lose $60 on double double bonus quarter video poker (with a progressive!) super fast.  Then I lose some more on slots.   Then some more on keno.   Then I have to go to the ATM, which sucks so fucking bad.

I have really good notes on exactly what I played, how much I put in and how much I took out.   I am not going to type it all out because for the most part, I took nothing out and I would like to pretend that this degenerate session did not happen.  Okay?  Okay.

But I will admit that I left Las Vegas with $20.  That’s right.  You heard me.

I had to break my “no daylight” rule to go to Walgreens to get something to eat on the plane.  I noticed that there is now a (really small, blink and you will miss it) Resorts World sign outside of what would have been Echelon, which had halted construction eleventy billion years ago.

resorts world

I have no real idea, but I assume it is somehow related to the New York City Resorts World since the name and logo are the same.  I have never been to the one here because New York gambling laws make the machines be video lottery terminals.  This means that although the machines appear identical to the machines you find in any other casino, they are actually closer to electronic scratch off lottery tickets.  If you play video poker, you are not actually playing video poker.  Your win (or loss) is determined by the exact nano second you push the button.  It does not matter what cards you hold (or don’t hold), your outcome will be exactly the same.  This doesn’t mean anything for slot players, but video lottery terminals for video poker turn video poker machines into slot machines.   This is bullshit and I don’t buy bullshit.

So back to this new Las Vegas Resorts World.  I really hope this gets completed.  We have enough empty space and abandoned buildings north strip.  Like this big blue monstrosity lurking behind the Riviera for example:

CIMG0002

I took the bus to the airport.  I sat outside since I was early and rearranged everything since most of the stuff that was in my bag (coupons, slot cards, etc) were things I no longer needed.   Some man came up to me as I was doing this.  He starts off with asking me if I am flying home, what airline am I taking, blah blah.  Look guy, just cut to the chase and ask me for whatever the fuck it is you are going to ask me for after these fake niceties.   He wants my bus pass.  I actually give it to him (it has like two hours left on it) and he keeps talking as if I am supposed to believe he is just this nice helpful guy, and not one of a million people on this trip alone who asked me to give them my personal possessions.  I told him straight out “we are done here, go away”

My flight home sucked, but don’t they all?  No direct television, plus another kid’s movie.

The woman next to me was reading work emails on a screen so large I could see everything without trying.  I now know her name, company she works for, what she does for that company,and that the company is being sued  I thought it would be funny to change my Facebook picture to a picture of myself and send her a request when I got home, just to freak her out as to how/why the chick who was next to her on the flight home the night before was sending her a friend request.

Getting home from the airport was a treat as usual.   This is a feat that takes up to three hours, no joke.  This time, we actually landed early enough that I could take the Long Island Railroad to Brooklyn and cut an hour off that time.  Except I had forgotten my TransitChek card and I am not going to actually pay for the Long Island Railroad because I hate them.

So train it is.   Thank you the MTA for having the R train not running, making me have to take the E to the F to the local track.  Also thank you for doing work on said local track, so that trains were running like never.  All totaled, it only took two hours and fifteen minutes, which is way better than it could have been.

I don’t take cabs from the airport because I fly so much that it would total more than a total trip a year to pay for cabs home.  I am not even really making this up.  The last time I took a cab, it came to $70 with tip.

Some final thoughts:

– I cannot handle the flight to Las Vegas.  I just cannot.  It gets worse for me every time I take it.   While I do not enjoy any flights, these seem worse for me than anywhere else.  I think it has to do with when I fly anywhere else, I am always a bit nervous about what’s going to happen when I get there.  So I have all that to obsess on during the flight.  I do not have that with Las Vegas.  I know exactly what is going to happen when I get there.  I also think there is a good chance I have been to the Las Vegas airport more times than JFK.  Every time I have flown to Vegas, I have landed at the Vegas airport.  I have not flown to Vegas from New York every time, nor does every flight I take from New York originate from JFK.

– I do not like people.

– I am so sick of people asking for things and shoving thigs in my face

– I was not in Vegas long enough.  My December trips are always 16-24 nights, this one was only eight.  I barely had time to get into my groove

– I hate the strip

– I love downtown

– I love green tea Frappucinos more than life

– I want a green tea Frappucino right the fuck now

– I meant to collect all the cash back I have at every casino and honestly, simply forgot.  So it all stays on my accounts for the next thirteen months.

– I am not going to say “I am not going to Vegas next year” because I said it the past three years.  Truthfully, I do not plan to go next year.   I want to see the rest of the world and using vacation time for Vegas puts a hold on that.  This trip was a surprise trip that was a combination of my job offering that I could take off the Tuesday before Thanksgiving without using my time, coupled with a promotion that ended up paying for it.   I won’t be that fortunate next year.

– If I could close my eyes and click my heels and be anywhere right now, it would be at the Super Times Pay machines at Fremont, with a green tea Frappucino at my side.

– My next gambling trip is TOMORROW.  I am spending Christmas at Trump Plaza in Atlantic City.   I have $95 free play and a hankering for some Double Super Times video poker.

– All these Vegas trip reports now have AARP ads showing up on my blog.  I hate.

And that’s a wrap!

7 thoughts on “Las Vegas Trip Report: Day Eight of Eight – Plus Bonus Rambling Content

  1. Jennifer

    Thank you for such a fun and entertaining TR! I think the rest of your blog will fill the dead time at my job today quite nicely for the next 5 hours. I bless you for this. If you were here I would buy you a venti green tea frappucino!

    Reply
  2. Michael

    I’m enjoying all of your reports, great stuff. As a fellow green tea frappucino lover and hater of people there is a lot I get. I’ve taken to just responding to beggars directly with an emphatic ‘no’ and firm eye contact.

    Reply
    1. jenniferjennifer Post author

      Thanks Michael!

      I normally do the same “no” and firm eye combo. I get really annoyed when they make me wait for the question to say “no” to.

      Reply
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