Tag Archives: Solo Trip to Las Vegas

Goodbye to Las Vegas Club, Glitter Gulch, Mermaids and All My Money.

This morning I woke up at California hotel and began to pack for a move to Four Queens.   As I was doing this, I found a can of Pringles in my bag that I had forgot about.  I then picked it up, the top fell off and now my suitcase is filled with a million potato chip crumbs.  ARGH.  I am done with this place.  I finish packing and check out.  I leave my keys in the room because I do not need them anymore.  The second the door shuts I realize there is Diet Pepsi in my refrigerator.  Damn it all to hell.

I check my bags at the Four Queens Bell Desk and get on a bus.   Today I am going to the Mirage to visit the beautiful Buffalo slot machine that gave me $1800 back in March.

I took the CX bus to Treasure Island.  It is hot out.  I walk through Treasure Island to take the tram.   The tram is not running.  I walk back through Treasure Island to get outside to walk in the heat, so much  heat.  HOT BURNING DEATH FIREBALL SKY.

But it is pretty.

las vegas strip from mirage

Continue reading

I stop at Starbucks and order an iced green tea latte please!  I get a hot green tea latte.  NO.  DO NOT WANT.  REMAKE IT.  BAH.  GROSS.  HOT.  NO.

I walk over to my Buffalo machine and a woman is playing it.  I walk around the entire length of the casino to kill time and come back.  She is still playing it.  I do another loop.   Still there.  I become increasingly cranky.   I sit down and play $20 in Double Double Bonus video poker.  I lose it.  I go back.  The woman is still there.  I decide to get the fuck out of here.  If all I want to do is play that one machine, I need to stop.

I go across the street and catch The Deuce bus back to downtown.  I check into Four Queens.  It doesn’t look fancy but I still love it.

four queens las vegas hotel room

And of course, the same view I have had more times than I could count.

four queens hotel las vegas room view

I took a nap and woke up defeated.  I go home tomorrow guys, where is any win?

I still had a bunch of quarters so I went to play Sigma Derby next door at The D.  I didn’t win.   I kind of gave up and went back to my room.  I figured tomorrow is my last day, let’s go nuts in the morning before my flight.

Fast forward to the next morning and I had my biggest win of the entire trip!

buffalo stampede slot machine win

Yep, a whopping $108. Oh well, better than nothing.  But still close to nothing.

It is a good thing I am a lazy blogger.  If I had written this up when I got home, I might have remembered how much of a loser this trip was, and not have booked the next one.  But I am.  So I didn’t.  And I did.

Bonus photo of Mermaids, Glitter Gulch and Las Vegas Club being prepared to be made a distant memory.   Just like my gambling budget.

fremont street las vegas las vegas club glitter gulch mermaids closed

 

Las Vegas Trip Report: Have Bad Luck, Will Travel

One thing I love about waking up in Las Vegas is that anything can happen on that day.  You legit have no clue what notes you will be writing out when you get back to your room tonight.  This morning I am looking out my window at the California hotel at 7:00 am and wishing for the gambling gods to PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE before I get dressed and go out for the day.

I am out by 8:30.  I find a penny on heads outside the elevator.  Excellent sign.

I play my Buffalo machine here and lose.  I decide to put a $20 into quarter Double Double Bonus video poker machine and lose that too.  As I am playing it, I have the realization that I have barely played any video poker this trip.  This probably explains why I am doing so terribly.  My last trip was Buffalo win heavy but I was just incredibly lucky.

That said, I walked over to Binions and played BUFFALO.  Nope, still not a winner.

I wanted to have breakfast at Magnolia’s at Four Queens since I have accumulated a bunch of comps here, but the line in insane.  Back to Binions I go.  I get an omelet and have to pay a couple of dollars for it.  Such sacrilege in a town where I am used to comps.   I get an iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts and try the casino in Binions again.  The only win I get is the Motherlode promotion which gives me a free root beer float.  I’ll save this for later.

Continue reading

Back at California, I go to the ATM because I have to go to the ATM.  Dammit.  It has been quite some time since I have played this particular machine.  I don’t like it very much.

I play around a bit.  I get a surprise feature on my Buffalo machine and win $50.  I am back in my room at 10:30 am.

All Boyd players will forever remember that time when Boyd didn’t do offers for a tiny bit, while they were redoing their system to have all properties included on offers.   I was so happy when the offers came back.  But I am bludgeoning all future offers by losing and not playing anywhere near what they would like me to.  But I am not playing that game because my days of taking long trips and needing as many comped nights as possible, are long gone.

I nap and go back out.  I take the WAX bus to MGM Grand, with a change purse full of quarters to play Sigma Derby.  Nope, all the seats are taken.  Now I have to lug these quarters around haaaaaaate.  I play a $20 in Keno and lose it instantly, disgusted with myself.  Who the hell authorized me to put money in a Strip machine when I was on such a losing streak?!?

I use a MyVegas reward for a very early dinner buffet.   It is priced at $42.99 for the holiday, yeeeeeeesh.  Do people really pay these prices?   I suppose so.   This buffet is not the best.  But for free, it is worth the cost.  I get a line pass, which I first thought was related to it being a MyVegas reward.  But nope.  It is because I am now Pearl.  I had no idea.

I leave here and take the bus to Orleans, where I lose some money.  Then I take the shuttle to Gold Coast.  It does not go right to the Gold Coast.  It stops at the Strip first.  It no longer stops at Cromwell, but back by the High Roller.  It would be convenient to go to Ellis Island if it were not a bazillion degrees outside.

boyd orleans gold coast strip shuttle

At Gold Coast, I have a coupon for $10 slot match play from Las Vegas Advisor.  I get on a small winning streak.

First up:

quarter four of a kind queens

Second up is four of a kind threes, that I do not have a photo of.  But you can see evidence of it in the totals in round three:

quarter four of a kind nines

I want to keep playing so very badly.  Like I never want to leave ever.  But because I am on such a suck streak, I have to leave while I am absolutely definitely ahead.  I am sorry magical machine at the Gold Coast.  I will be back to visit you, I promise.

I go outside and take the bus to Ellis Island.  I have coupons for free play here, and for a free t-shirt.  I lost the free play and then I lost $75.  And I lost my pride at having walked out of Gold Coast instead of going degenerate.  I should have gone degenerate at a machine that was paying me.  Such goes gambling.

I got back on the bus and went to Longhorn.  I love this place.  I actually looked into staying here on this trip.  They now charge a $6.77 resort fee, which I find infuriating.  It includes laundry facilities.  Does this mean you can do your laundry for free?  I would like to know.  I did my laundry here when I stayed here over a year ago.  And I paid for it.  If the laundry is now free, then the $5 slot match play they give you at check in + laundry, cancels out the resort fee.  If laundry is not free and they are actually listing having a washing machine that you pay to use, as part of what is included in the resort fee, then fuck you.

longhorn casino las vegas

I played here for hours.   I got here at 9:00.  When I left, it was 1:00 am.  I had the American Casino Guide for $5 free play.  I put that and a $20 into four card Cleopatra Keno.  I never hit zero.  I never got over $60.  But I got hours of play.  This was so much fun for me.  Just playing.  I haven’t really done this at all this trip because I keep losing.

Once I realize I am almost out of cigarettes, it is time to leave.  I took the BHX bus back.  It leaves you on Ogden and Las Vegas Boulevard.   The walk on Ogden back to California is fine.  Some people are scared of Ogden. The Gold Spike used to be very frightening to people.  Now the sidewalk outside is full of younger people, super drunk and super stupid.  And also super predictable with a girl on her cell phone screaming at her boyfriend, then bursting into tears about it to her friends, who assure her she can do better and let’s go get drunker.

As I continue my walk,  my thoughts are of this and how Vegas has certainly changed if Ogden is no longer scary.  Then I find myself frozen with fear, the only body part I am able to move are my vocal chords, which are vibrating with me screaming.   Because up ahead, is a roach the size of an airplane.   I don’t know what to do.  Wait yes I do.  I will cross the street. He starts walking towards the street.  He is now like a black cat who’s path I cannot cross, but he is not leaving me with a choice as he appears to walk even faster than I can.   Do I stay on the sidewalk as he is now in the street?  Do I cross the street?   What if he makes it across before I do?  What if I do not cross the street and stay on the sidewalk and he reverses and comes back to kill me?  Why are there no cars coming to kill him?  Where are all the drug addicts, murderers and rapists who are supposed to be lining this street?  WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME?!?

Fuck this.  I run past this thing.  RUN past this thing.   I run to the light and bolt across the street against the red light.  Once there I feel safer.  But I continue walking quickly until I am safe inside California.  WHEW.

I go to my room and pack for my move to The Linq tomorrow.  But I don’t want to move to The Linq.  I really do want to stay there since I have not.  But I don’t want to deal with having to go to the airport from there.  Before I left home, I had priced Four Queens for my last night and it was around $70 on every site I checked.  I decide to check it again now, ten hours before I would be attempting to check in.  And I found it for $45 on Orbitz.  Quick math of The Linq resort fee + probably a cab to the airport = SOLD.  Four Queens it is.

And off to bed I go.

Las Vegas Trip Report: Depositing My Money Around the Vegas Valley

If you are just tuning in, let me catch you up:  I am waking up at California on day four of one of my most unlucky trips to Las Vegas.   It isn’t just the losing, although there is plenty of that.  It is the fire alarms, the lack of early check ins and the methamphetamine serial killer that would not take my life yesterday.

I am up at 5:12 and I catch the 6:12 am WAX bus to Hooters.  Except the WAX  bus does not stop AT Hooters.  Which I did not realize until we were passing it without stopping.  I got off at the next stop and made the long walk back in the desert summer sun.  Hate.

I have both the Las Vegas Advisor and American Casino Guide coupons for $10 free play at Hooters.  Do you want to guess how that went?   Exactly.

Then I went to Tropicana.  But I do not have my card.  And I am too lazy / heat exhausted to care.  So I just keep playing random Buffalo machines, making my way from the entrance I entered, to the exit on the other side.  Where I left with way less money than I entered with.

tropicana hotel las vegas

Continue reading

I crossed the pedestrian bridge to Excalibur to use a MyVegas reward for weekend brunch.   I didn’t go in the Pearl line because I didn’t know I could.  There were also only two people in front of me.  One who was causing a major ruckus.  She wanted to charge her breakfast to her room.  But her name was not on her room. The cashier suggests she get the person who’s name the room is registered under, to call the front desk and have her name added so she can charge to the room.  But that person has already checked out and gone to the airport.

Then she wanted to use someone else’s card but didn’t have ID because she was not that someone else.  She was getting more angry and belligerent.  The second cashier had to stop and get involved.  So now I am simply standing there for maybe fifteen minutes as this woman pitches a fit and refuses to budge.  With the only two cashiers trying to explain NO to her.   As she is refusing to accept NO for an answer.

Finally I get in.  I go bolting for the Sobe water and all that comes out is fizz . Sobe water is not fizzy.  That’s fine, I will go to the other side.  Where the Sobe water is not working .  WHY GOD WHY.

After eating, I went to the overpriced store outside the buffet to check on my Pug wallet that I want, but will not purchase.

Then I took the WAX back downtown and got me some Dunkin Donuts iced coffee.  It was delicious.

I played in Binions on an old school Buffalo slot machine.  This particular one seems to like when you only play one coin per line, so $.40 cent bets.   Which is fine by me since I am on a massive losing streak.   One bonus turned my $20 to $80.  I had enough points for one Motherlode spin and I won a free gift that I did not bother trying to redeem.

I exited out back, past the slot machine graveyard inside the back of Binions.  I got in trouble for taking this photo.

binions slot machine graveyard

Work has begun on demolishing Las Vegas Club.  Home of my first casino comp.  Even when I was not staying here, I would take the elevator up to the hotel room floors to get a Diet Pepsi on my way back to my room at California, which is a Coke property.

las vegas club demolition sign

I played my Buffalo machine here.  I seem to have one in every casino.  This one gave me $100 from a $10.   Sweet, sweet Buffalo.

I am back in my room at 11;30 and I take a nap.  I am up and back out at my Buffalo machine at Cailfornia.  I get a $60 bonus.

I walk outside to catch the 106 bus.  I have to run for it but I make it.  Tonight’s destination is Texas Station.  Why?  Because why not?

texas station las vegas sign

Since I am on a losing streak, I change the rest of today’s budget into all $5 bills and play minimum bets on Buffalo.   I played about 15 different Buffalo machines in here.  This place is Buffalo mecca for sure.

On my last play, I got less than 40 credits left and decided to play down to zero by playing 20 lines, than 5.  Then one line with three credits per line.   And I hit a bonus.  You mother fucker.  I don’t want a bonus when I am playing THREE CENTS.  I won $3 and played that down and left down $60.

I took the bus back Downtown.  Thankfully I did not have to wait long for it because it is hot out.

The bus leaves you on the side of Plaza and Las Vegas Club.   I looked up and was shocked that I never noticed this before.  The side of Las Vegas Club looks like a stadium!

las vegas club stadium

I grab fries from McDonalds and head to my room.   I am in bed by 11:00.

Las Vegas Trip Report: the Sky Is Blue but There Is a Black Cloud Hanging Over Me

I was asleep at Planet Hollywood when I am awoken by this loud as all fuck noise.  At first I think it is my phone.  I jump out of bed to make it stop, why is it so fucking LOUD.  But it isn’t stopping.  I turn on the light and realize it is the fire alarm.  It is 3:00 am and the fire alarm is going off, louder than anything that was ever loud before it.  It is so loud.  SO. FUCKING. LOUD.

I don’t know what to do.  Obviously you are supposed to do something, like leave your room.  But I don’t want to.  I am comfy in my jam jams and just want my heart to stop palpitating.  The alarm is not stopping.  There are no announcements.  I know to not call the front desk, I will be one of a million.  I peek out the peep hole on my door and there is nothing out there.  Fuck I guess I will get dressed and go downstairs.

As I am putting my shoes on, it stops.  Then comes the announcement that it was a false alarm.  Then that announcement begins repeating a million fucking times.  Holy shit.  I came to Vegas to win a million dollars but the real million dollar win will be me inventing a system for hotels where their guests can push a button to acknowledge they heard the first 75 announcements that it was a false alarm.  Then it can fucking STOP IT ALREADY.

Continue reading

There is no way in hell I am going to fall back asleep so I go outside.  I get Starbucks and cross the road to Cosmopolitan.  Worst mistake ever.  Cosmopolitan loved me at one point.  They sent me a teaser offer.  But I blew it.  It was a bad trip and I could not afford to gamble enough to keep them sending me offers.  But I for some reason, keep chasing them.  I don’t know why I do this.  I don’t normally do this.  But with Cosmo, I do.  And I lose way beyond what I am allowed to.  Then I leave knowing I could have paid for two nights with what I just lost in a few hours.

I played a fuckton of old school Buffalo and never hit a bonus, which is insane.  I walked back to Planet Hollywood, hanging my head in shame.

At Planet Hollywood, I was going to play $20.  I did not have my card.  I played $20 anyway and ended up there for over an hour on one $20 bill.   Not getting any points for it.  Because asshole.

I went up to my room to grab my Las Vegas Advisor to use my $10 off coupon for a breakfast buffet at Planet Hollywood.  This is my absolute favorite buffet in all of Las Vegas.  Or at least it was.  Until today.   I didn’t realize it would be holiday brunch, although I should have realized it.  So it was more expensive than usual.

Drinks are now self serve, which I like.  No waiting for someone to bring you something.  The orange juice needed to be changed out, it was pouring something closer to Tang from the two dispensers I tried.  I didn’t have a spoon for my coffee so I had to get back up and get that.  The scrambled eggs were raw.

I am having a terrible morning and now my favorite place to eat has forsaken me as well.  Sigh.

I go to the room and say fuck it, I am out of here.   I attempt to shower before packing and in my shower is a penny on tails.  ARE. YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING. ME.

I leave without showering, planning to do so at California.  When I go outside, the sun burns my retinas.  But that beautiful blue sky…

las vegas strip arialas vegas strip cosmopolitan

I take the Deuce to Oakey, and get off to buy cheaper cigarettes at 7-11.  Then I wait for the Deuce again, which never comes.   Then when it finally does, the driver does not stop.

A man comes crossing the street yelling to me “Can I ask you a question?”  It is 110 degrees outside, he has on a sweater and is clearly on something.  I say “yes” just because I obviously don’t have a choice so why anger him?  He thanks me profusely, tells me most people are afraid of him because he looks like a methamphetamine addict.  Then he giggles “Or a serial killer” and laughs even harder.  Dear kind sir:  If you are a serial killer, just please, take me now.  Anything that cuts this conversation short, I am down for it.

He wanted bus directions.  Thankfully not for anywhere the Deuce goes.  I point him to where he needs to go.  He thanks me and actually walks away.  Had my luck turned?

Finally another Deuce comes.  And stops.   I get to California and am told I cannot check in because it is too early.  Of course.  I have checked into this hotel early a million times. Including at 6:00 am when I wasn’t even trying to.  I was trying to check my luggage but the Bell Desk was closed.  So I got checked in instead.

But of course today, I cannot check in. FINE.

I sit in the lobby a bit and use their internet to play MyVegas on my phone for a little while.  Then I try for the nickel Keno progressives.  Nada.  Finally I get a room.

I got one of them there new, fancy rooms.  It looks nicer.  The bed doesn’t seem new though.  I am probably the only person who misses the old air conditioning system.  You used to be able to put a luggage rack on top of it and let the air blow up to dry your sink washed clothes.  Now there’s a fancy schmancy air conditioning vent. Oh well.

california hotel las vegas remodeled roomcalifornia hotel las vegas room remodeledcalifornia hotel las vegas remodeled bathroomcalifornia hotel las vegas remodeled shower

At least my room view luck is improving?

california hotel vegas room view

california hotel las vegas room view

I shower and go right to bed.  It is 2:00.

I woke up at 5:00.  According to my notes, I attempted to go to the Strip but it was too hot.  Why on Earth would I want to go to the Strip when I am on such a losing streak?!  The Binions thermometer said it was 117.  I don’t think it was correct, but it does feel like 2837483 degrees outside.

I play around Binions.   I cannot seem to get to 40 points for the second tier of the Motherlode promotion.  Everything I touch turns to broke.  I did get one spin for 5 points and won $5 free play.  And then I lost $5 free play.

I walked over to Main Street Station and played some slots on the second floor at California.  They hated me just as much as the slots on the first floor of California.  I remembered I had $10 free play with my room offer. I went to get that loaded and played it on a Buffalo slot machine. An $80 win later, I am finally cashing out for cash for the first time today.

I got dinner to go at Triple 7 Brew Pub.   I have $10 dining credit with my offer so I charged it to my room.  Then I went to my room and cried.  I mean slept.  After crying.

↓ If you liked this post, feel free to pin it on Pinterest! ↓

sky is blue

Las Vegas Trip Report: Moving from New York, New York to Planet Hollywood

I wake up at New York, New York.  It is 6:30 am.  I am out by 7:00 and I make a beeline to MY Buffalo slot machine that I could not play last night.  I cash out up $25.

I walk over to Excalibur to use a MyVegas reward for breakfast.  It is so incredibly hot, even this early in the morning.  Bonus: The Excalibur MLife desk doesn’t open until 8:00 so I have half an hour to kill.  Wish I would have known this when I was still at MY Buffalo machine at New York, New York.

I play nickel Caveman Keno machine, one nickel at a time.  Surprisingly, I double a $5 and then it is time to go.

The Excalibur buffet is very good nowadays.  And I am not just saying this because I love that they have Sobe water as a drink option.

I head back to New York, New York  I love the view of the casino from the escalator.

new york new york las vegas casino

Continue reading

I also love it from down inside the casino!

new york casino las vegas

I go on an insane losing streak.  Then I got myself back a bit on video poker hitting first 8’s and then a straight flush. I do not have a photo of the straight flush because savvy gambler that I am, did not realize I hit it until I saw the credits jumped after I hit “deal” on the next hand.

double double bonus video poker 4oak 8s new york new york casino las vegas

I go upstairs to collect my crap and move to Planet Hollywood.  Honestly, I should have just not booked a MyVegas room at all.  Or cancelled it and stayed at Planet Hollywood so I would not have to move.  The main feature of using a MyVegas reward for rooms is that you can then use certain dining rewards you cannot use if  you are not staying at an MLife property.  But it is a holiday weekend so everything is blacked out anyway.  I get fixated on the amount of MyVegas points I have and keep booking rooms I don’t really want.  I need to stop doing that.  I am going to stop doing that.

On my way out, I play MY Buffalo machine one last time and cash out up $80. I have also made Pearl status at MLife, which I wasn’t trying for.  The best perk of Pearl status is free parking and I do not drive.

I walked to Planet Hollywood in the heat.  Yes I know.  YOU would have taken a cab or Uber or Lyft.  But I would not.  It is just a thing about living in NYC.  Every day a cab is an option but that doesn’t mean you go ahead and take one.

I stop at the Walgreens right before Planet Hollywood to get some water.  The woman in front of me puts her stuff down and asks where there is a garbage can.  Outside.  She walks away to go outside and the cashier starts ringing her up.  Are you fucking kidding me.  She walked OUTSIDE and I am standing here INSIDE.  Ring ME up.

I get to Planet Hollywood and no, just no.   The amount of people in the lobby.  I would be hard pressed to remember any time in my life when I saw this many people in a hotel lobby.  I checked in using the kiosk and there was a charge for early check in.  I have never paid this before, I would normally opt to simply drop my bags over and come back later.  But today, I decide to pay it.  I think it was $30, but I could be wrong about that.

I have never stayed here as Planet Hollywood.  I have stayed when it was Aladdin.  I missed the entire Planet Hollywood themed rooms phase and I have a newly renovated one.

planet hollywood hotel las vegas bathroom planet hollywood las vegas room

With this weirdo room view, which I know is just a crappy view of vents and stuff.  But it is oddly satisfying.  I think because it looks like a space ship on an alien planet.

planet hollywood las vegas room view

I decide I am going to take a nap, which justifies paying the early check in fee.  But I am a liar and instead, I go out and gamble until way past check in time.  I wish I could tell you that “Black pail I did $3” means I won a million dollars as that is what it looks like my notes from this afternoon say.  But it doesn’t so that mystery remains unsolved as of yet.

I came back to the room with enough time to take a quick nap before going to see Ka, courtesy of MyVegas.  But when I woke up from my nap, the last thing I wanted to do was go OUTSIDE to get to MGM Grand to see Ka.

So I stayed inside and played Buffalo for a few hours until I was starving.  Then I went to McDonalds because I do that in Vegas.  And it pisses people off.  Sorry, not sorry.

I was in my room and asleep at 10:00.  Until the fire alarm went off   But that’s tomorrow’s sad story.

↓ If you liked this post, feel free to pin it on Pinterest! ↓

Planet Hollywood Hotel canva

Las Vegas Trip Report: Visiting Strip Casinos

When we last left off, I had just had my biggest win of any Vegas trip.  I went to my room for a break.  But not for long because I have a ticket for Mystere, right next door at Treasure Island.  I took some pretty photos on my walk over.

las vegas strip from miragemirage dolphin fountains las vegaswynn palazzo las vegastreasure island las vegas sign

Continue reading

I stopped to play some Buffalo and I guess today is OH HEY BUFFALO DAY YAY.
treasure island buffalo winI cashed that baby out and went to see Mystere again.  I absolutely love this show.

Afterwards, I was starving.  My itinerary said to go to Ellis Island for dinner.  My common sense said to continue working on my goal of playing in every casino on the Strip.  My gambling addiction said to go Downtown and gamble.   So Downtown we went!  While walking to the bus, I saw these fountains at Wynn I had never seen before.  Are they new or am I just oblivious?
wynn las vegas fountainAlso, can we talk about how much I love the camera on my new phone?  Samsung Galaxy S7.
treasure island las vegas nightI went to Binions and stopped to a burger.  While doing so, I somehow calmed the fuck down and decided to follow my common sense side and go back to the Strip to continue on visiting every casino.

First stop:  Stratosphere!
stratosphere las vegas

I didn’t venture very far into the casino because I found a Buffalo slot machine and played that.  I cashed out even after a bonus.  I went back outside and took the bus to Circus Circus.

circus circus hotel las vegas circus circus las vegascircus circus casino entrance

I guess Circus Circus either doesn’t take MLife cards, they still have their own slot club.  I feel like I had this information in the back of my head, but I totally forgot about it.  So I didn’t use a card here, which I wish I would have since I did end up playing for a long time on a Buffalo machine that kept bringing me back up to $20 every time I got down.

Then I switched machines and hit a bonus for $280.  Not sure why I do not have a photo of this?

I cashed out and stopped in the restroom before leaving.  As I was in the stall, I hear two women going at it.  By “it” I mean screaming about wanting to fuck each other up over some guy.  I am sitting there waiting for it to go beyond screaming at each other and for fists to start flying.  This is going on FOREVER and I say fuck it, I can’t spend the rest of my night in this stall.  I get out and discover it is ONE crazy lady fighting with herself.  She is doing both “parts” of the arguing, with herself, in the mirror.  Okay great.

Next up is Slots a Fun.

slots a fun las vegas casino entrance

To say this place is depressing is an under statement.  It is mostly empty, most of the machines have broken bill acceptors.  The one machine I could find to take my money had broken buttons so I had to touch the screen to hold cards.  I wasn’t planning on staying long but I felt bad for the poor cocktail waitress working in a graveyard so I ordered a soda from her.

On my way out, I saw security chase a family out from their bowling area because they had little kids.  You need to be 21 to be inside the casino.   Ah duh.

I would recommend that if you are in Vegas with friends and want to hang out with just your friends, this might be the place for it.  You would have it all to yourself.

slots a fun las vegas beer pongslots a fun las vegas

There was a woman vomiting into a trash can to the right of me as I took these photos.

My next stop was Encore.

encore las vegas

Obligatory photo of the Resorts World sign.

resorts world las vegas

And the butterfly statue.

encore las vegas butterflies

I played Buffalo slots here, of course.  I was on my third $20 when I hit a bonus for $50 and decided that was my cue to go.   I probably would have stayed longer, but I have places to go and money to lose.  As I was cashing out, I saw a penny on heads on the ground. I picked that up.  I also heard a THUMP and realized I had left my brand-new-just-purchased-at-Walgreens Diet Pepsi at my machine and that was the sound of someone throwing it out.

Obviously I rescued it because I am at fancy Encore and it is MY Diet Pepsi dammit.

I walked between Encore and Wynn and accidentally found the Popeye statue.  I would tell you what this is about, except I have no idea.

popeye statue wynn las vegas

While trying to find a machine to play, I found a Wynn Megabucks machine and figured this would be my only opportunity to win the Megabucks.  I allow myself to put a $100 through.  Normally a $100 bill would be too rich for my blood, but I won $1800 today so why not?

wynn megabucks machine las vegas

I didn’t win the Megabucks.

encore las vegas flowers

Next stop is Palazzo.  I lost here real quick and moved onto my least favorite place, The Venetian.  This place reeks so bad.

venetian rialto bridge las vegas

I stopped at Walgreens again to get some more drinks, and to get rid of some change.  My purchase came to $7.99 and I got mad and told the cashier I was giving him 99 cents in change.  He was fine with it and I unloaded a fuckton of nickels on him.

In the Venetian, I actually won $100 on a Cleopatra Keno.   Some machines here have USB ports to charge your phones.

venetian las vegas plug and play machines

There were also these signs on the TITO cash out/ATM machines.  I wonder how many issues they had with this that they had to put signs up.  How degenerate do you have to be to try and take a cash advance on your BUSINESS credit card?!

venetian las vegas business cards

Next up was Casino Royale.

casino royale las vegas lit up night

I was too lazy to get a card here so I just lost quick and left.

I wanted to continue but I stopped myself from pulling an all nighter and just gambling until the morning came.  I kind of wish I had kept going.

Back at Mirage, I was happy to give back $200 of my winnings before going to bed.

Las Vegas Trip Report: Being Oblivious to a Shooting on the Strip

My sunlight alarm clock failed me today.  I slept until 9:00 am, even with the blinds completely open in the desert.

I am still at Fremont hotel, tonight will be my last night here before I move to the Strip.

I got up and got dressed.  Then something tragic happened.  My lucky penny from yesterday fell onto the floor and landed on tails.  Oh hell no.  I took a bunch of pennies out of my wallet and threw those around and picked up the ones that landed on heads.   The floor now has many pennies on tails scattered about and walking in my room means looking out for landmines.

I should also mention my current first world problem.  This is a problem that every person who plays slots, while being comped, faces.  Loose change.  I probably have about thirteen dollars in loose change on me by now.  All those times you cash out at an odd number really add up.  Since I am using cash for nothing, all my meals are comped, I am basically only able to get rid of $.33 every time I buy a Dunkin Donuts large iced coffee.  I cannot keep up with the growing change.  Even with my quarters out of my bag, set aside to play Sigma Derby, my bag is getting heavier and heavier with all this change.

I started my day playing Cleopatra Keno on a machine I have never played on before. All my normal Keno machines near the lobby are full so I had to seek out newer, funner machines.   This one hated being a Keno machine and had no problems letting me know this.  So I switched her to Double Double Bonus video poker and she rewarded me kindly.

quarter twos with kicker video poker fremont casino las vegas

quarter eights fremont casino las vegas

quarter jacks fremont casino las vegas

Continue reading

I cashed out, grabbed breakfast to go and went to my room to eat.

Next up, I decided to get a head start on my plan to visit every Strip casino.  I agreed ahead of time I could skip SLS, but every other one was a must.  I haven’t been in some of these properties in many years.   I spend so much time just gambling, I thought it would be nice to get out and about and have to keep moving.

I got on the SDX bus and almost didn’t make it to the Strip.  We stopped at Bonneville transit center.  There were security guards on every bus.  I thought at the time, that this had to do with a gunman at Bellagio the night before.

Some guy got on the bus without a pass and the security guards kept telling him to get off.  He would not. This went on for so long that I considered giving up and going back to Fremont Street.  But I didn’t.   I also considered getting off this bus and getting on a Deuce bus instead.  But I didn’t.

This guy kept refusing to budge.  So we sat there and watched it escalate.  Finally someone intervened and tried to hand the guy $5 so he could pay to ride the bus.  Security blocked this and the next thing I know, this little guy took on three large security guards and pretty much won.  Until they pulled out the pepper spray.   It was an amusing viewing of human nature.  All the tourists gasped in horror and ran to the front of the bus.  All the locals grabbed their cell phones and ran to the back to begin filming.

A whole lotta bloodshed later, the guy was on the ground in handcuffs while the three bloodied and exhausted security guards stood there, gasping for breath.   Finally, we were free to go.

Once we hit Caesars, there was an announcement that the Bellagio stop was closed and we would be re-routed.  I still thought this was because of the Bellagio gunman.  We got back on the Strip on Tropicana and I continued down to Mandalay Bay.  I cannot remember the last time I was here.

mandalay bay las vegas

I sit down to play.  My first visit to the Strip on this trip.   Intending to go to every Strip casino.   It was one hell of a bus ride there.  I just want to sit and unwind and play.

I didn’t even get through one cigarette before my money was gone.  Insert a second $20, gone.  Third, gone.  Fuck me, this is how it is going to go.

I am not going to sit here throwing away more money just for the hell of it so I get up and leave, even though I really would prefer to just stay here for awhile.

Next up is Excalibur.  I skipped Luxor because I had a MyVegas buffet to redeem at Excalibur and it was much later than I planned to be here, because of the whole bus debacle.

excalibur las vegas

The new and improved Excalibur brunch buffet is really good.  I am in love with the fact that they have self serve drinks, which include Sobe pomegranate water.  This stuff is soooooo good.
After eating, I stop to play and lose $60 real quick.  I could double back to Luxor, but instead decide I will go to Orleans, then come back to Hooters, Tropicana and hit Luxor then.  But as I was walking to the bus stop, a WAX bus was pulling up.  I took it as a sign and got on it, headed back to Downtown.   I have been gone three hours now and all I have done was hit two casinos, lost more than half a day’s budget and consumed way too much Sobe water.

As I am on the bus, people are talking about the Bellagio gunman and how he escaped on a bus.  Or so I thought.  Since I have not turned on the news once since I have been here, I didn’t yet know that there were two separate incidents in the past 24 hours, both involving men with guns at Bellagio.  One was the gunman that I knew about.  The second one that I didn’t realize happened, was where a man with a gun got on a Deuce bus at the Bellagio stop and shot and killed a person.  Thus began an hours-long standoff with police.

A friend of mine was staying at Cosmopolitan.  The Bellagio bus stop is pretty much right outside the Cosmopolitan entrance. Just a few feet.  Cosmopolitan cleared their floor and sent all the hotel guests back to their rooms.  My friend was sequestered in her room for a bit, with this entire thing happening under her balcony.  Here is a photo she took:

cosmopolitan balcony

That is some scary shit.  This probably started as I was still at Bonneville with the whole security scuffle.  This was also the reason my bus was rerouted.  I had no idea at all that any of this was going on.

Once I was back Downtown, I went gambling.  I walked over to El Cortez and played an old school Buffalo slot machine.  I won $200, no photo.

I walked back to Fremont and again, I had to herd a bunch of bar drinkers away from the Bonus Streak Ultimate X penny machines so I could play.

This wasn’t working for me because I could not take being in the middle of a drunk hangout spot.  So I decided to go to Santa Fe Station. On the way to the bus stop, I took some photos of Fremont Street.

This is I think where the strip club used to be. Now it is a lone food truck.

food truck fremont street las vegas

binions las vegas..

four queens las vegas golden gate las vegasplaza las vegas plaza mural las vegasThe bus ride to Santa Fe Station is about half an hour.  It takes longer to get down the Strip on the Deuce.  My first time here, I had an accidental $852.50 win on video Keno.  So now I want to go here on every trip, obviously.   There was even more incentive when they were still participating in MyVegas and I could get a free meal for traveling here.  But still, I am willing to take a ride.
santa fe station las vegas

My biggest win here was discovering a new drink at Starbucks.  Iced Cinnamon Almondmilk Macchiato.  Oh yeah, that’s the stuff.  This drink was so delicious that I actually said “This is so delicious” aloud to myself when I took my first sip.

I played around and lost.  I stopped at the gift shop to use my points for free cigarettes.   Then I walked to the bus stop.  And then I checked the bus schedule, which I should have done before leaving the casino.  I have an hour to wait.  I am not going back in there, they will steal all my money.   I did consider going back for another Iced Cinnamon Almondmilk Macchiato and had to stop myself.

Side note, ordering that drink requires speaking more syllables than I wish to use when speaking to a stranger.

I take the bus back Downtown.  I stop at the Double Double Bonus video poker machine I won on this morning and hit four of a kind nines.  This seems like a good place to stop, as I am up $300 for the day.  So I do.

quarter nines fremont casino las vegas

Good night Fremont Street.  Bonus photo of California that I forgot to include in my last installment.

California neon

 

Find a Penny, Pick It Up and All Day Long You’ll Have Good Luck!

Once again, I went to bed with the blinds open so that the sun was my alarm clock.  I am still at Fremont hotel.  This morning I lingered around my room for awhile to delay my scheduled degeneracy.   I was out by 9:30.

I stopped at the Cleopatra Keno machines near the lobby.  These machines are a mere 43 steps from the room elevators.  Super convenient for me.

I lost $10 before winning $55.  I cashed out with $53.

Breakfast was at Binions today, using comps.  Once  I was done eating, I continued on my quest to play a minimum of $20 in every Downtown casino.  For all the time I spend down here, it sure has been a long time since I have darkened the doors of Golden Nugget and Golden Gate.  Maybe I just don’t like gold?

My first stop though, was Plaza.  I have a free play coupon and I want to win big with it.  The gambling gods denied me my wish.

Continue reading

Next was Golden Gate.  I haven’t been in here since the renovations.  It looks completely different.   A good blogger would have photos to show you.  So I do not have photos to show you.

I lost playing Cleopatra Keno.  Then I lost playing Buffalo.  Then lost some more playing Cleopatra Keno again.

Up next was Golden Nugget.  I took advantage of being here by stopping at Starbucks for a venti iced green tea latte.  These are so good.  I knew I was going to lose here, but I had to try.  Golden Nugget is very Strip-like in every way, including that it stole my money with the quickness.

I went back to my room for a nap, but I could not sleep.  So I decided to take the free shuttle over to Sam’s Town and use my free play coupons.

I got off the shuttle and instead of immediately entering the casino, I walked to Boulder Highway to stop at the Rebel gas station for cheap cigarettes.   On the ground outside, was a penny on heads.  This must mean my luck is about to change!

Oh hey, look at that!

quarter jacks sams town

OH HEY LOOK AT THAT.

dealt quarter aces sams town

First person to mention the lack of a kicker will accidentally hit max bet on their next time at a slot machine and lose all their money.

I came back to Fremont and went to my room to make out with my winnings.  Then I continued on my quest to visit every Downtown casino.  This is day three of trying to accomplish this.  How on earth am I going to handle my goal of visiting every Strip casino this trip, if I cannot manage to get through all these tiny, clustered places?

As I walked over to Main Street Station, I stopped at Lappert’s for an iced chai latte.   I took some photos of the ice cream flavors for anyone who is interested.

lapperts ice cream flavors at california las vegas lapperts ice cream flavors california las vegasI played in Main Street Station and my penny was still holding strong.

quarter twos main street station video poker las vegas quarter sixes

I left Main Street Station a winner!   I went to play in California and hit $80 on a Buffalo slot machine.  Today is such a great day!

I decided to celebrate my wins not by degenerate gambling, but by getting a massage at Happy Feet at El Cortez.  I love this place.  $20 for an hour long foot massage.   I have never seen anyone else in here, so I am scared they will not last long.  So everyone please, PLEASE, please go here so they stay in business.

I felt so good after my massage.  I sat down and played a Buffalo slot where you play four games at one time.  I was surprised that I was able to last on here without going broke.  I cashed out so many times that I had to keep cashing my TITO tickets because I was out of cash.  I left here up $300.

On my way back to my room at Fremont, I had to “GET OFF MY LAWN” some party goers who were hanging out at the Ultimate X Bonus Streak machines.  They may have cursed me because I could not win a damned thing.

Off to bed I go, up $600 for the day WAHOO!

Las Vegas Christmas Trip Report: Returning Downtown to Fremont Street

Despite how insanely comfortable my bed was here at Green Valley Ranch, I was wide awake at 4:00 am.  Let’s…go gamble?

I stop for coffee at The Grand Cafe.  Meaning I ordered coffee, realized I didn’t put any cash in my wallet, and had to walk away to go back to my room which is a million miles away.  Halfway there I realized hurr durr, I own both credit cards AND I have comps on my Stations card.  I get that taken care of, sit down at a machine and HURR DURR HI I HAVE NO CASH ON ME.

Back to the room, back to the casino.

I decide to play Buffalo.  I can never say enough how much I love these games.  I am playing one of the ones with the super sized screen.  I get one bonus symbol, then a second, then a guy walks by and smacks my machine yelling “GET IT!  GET IT!  GET IT!” and I do!  And I win zero!  Oh.

I keep playing and get another bonus.  This time I win $118.  WOO!

I go back up to my room, it is only 5:30.  I pack my stuff and lay down for an hour.  Then it is back out for breakfast.  I get a buffet, free from MyVegas.  My goal is to catch the 9:00 shuttle to the airport, so I can catch the WAX bus to downtown.  I am moving to my last hotel of this trip today, California.  I am very anxious to get down there because I want to be there NOW.

Let me tell you guys something.  I do not know how I got this lucky.  But my shuttle from Green Valley Ranch pulled into Zero Level at the airport, just as the WAX was pulling up.  I was in my room at California by 10:00.  That is right.  I left Green Valley Ranch on a shuttle at 9:00 am, took a bus downtown and was checked in, and inside my room, only one hour later.  It was a Christmas-Eve-Eve miracle.

California has remodeled a bunch of their rooms, but I am given an old one.  I don’t care because I love this hotel and would happily accept any room here.  Except that one where the roof leaked onto my bed and soaked it.

On my way out, I stop to rub Buddha’s belly. I tell him all about how I was in his birth country earlier this year.  He just laughed at me.

california hotel vegas buddha

Continue reading

I got coffee at Dunkin Donuts and then went nutso in Fremont.  I am going to play EVERY MACHINE IN THIS CASINO.

Dealt Aces:

dealt aces

I came back to California and played quarter Double Double Bonus video poker.  I hit nines.

california ninesThen I try the new version of Lobstermania.  This was my mother’s favorite slot machine and I feel obligated to play it.  This machine is pissing me off.  How can you have three full rows of the same symbol and it is not a win?  I am becoming one of those psychopaths you see on slot machines that yell at them.  I keep giving it the finger. I am wondering if security is going to come and escort me out.  NEENER NEENER JOKE’S ON YOU. I LIVE HERE.

Finally I break away from the machine.  I feel my sanity coming back.  I turn around and give the machine the finger one last time and start playing a Buffalo slot machine.  I turn a $20 into $40 and set off to eat lunch at the California’s Courtyard Cafe.

I get an omelette and some more coffee because I clearly need the caffeine.  I take some notes, and pull out my phone to write the time.  It is only 12:43.   I am not sure why time is moving to unbelievably slow today.  But this is not a complaint.

I went upstairs to take a nap.  Then I woke up and decided to take the bus to Cosmopolitan to get that $15 free play they emailed me about.  When I got there, the free play would not work.  I went to the player’s club and was told that I was using a room key and not a slot card.  Which was really, REALLY weird since it was the same card I used the other day to generate the free play.  So my information is still on there from a year (two years?) ago.

I lost the $15 free play and another $60.  Hint: This is why casinos offer you free play. They know you will lose more cash.

On the way back to my hotel, I noticed that Fremont Santa is now charging for photos. What a fucking rip off.

fremont santa

I headed back to California and played a bit before bed.  I got dealt Jacks, which is the second time today I got a dealt quad.

california dealt jacks

Time for bed, this was my room view at night:

california hotel room view
Gambling Day: + $200
Gambling Trip: + $170
Miscellaneous: (water, bus pass, Dunkin Donuts, tips) $22.36
Comps used: California room (not sure how much this would have cost, $40-40-ish?), $10 California dining credit that came with my offer, $15 free play Cosmopolitan
Coupons: Nope.
Freebies: Green Valley Ranch buffet from MyVegas = $7.99 + tax

Today’s itinerary:

Friday, December 23, 2016
Breakfast:  Green Valley Ranch 8-11 MyVegas
Check into California
El Cortez ATM promo 5% back in free play
Lunch:
Dinner:
 
 California dining credit with offer
Downtown Grand 5x / 500 points = pull tab
Fitzgeralds $5 free play for every 50 points ACG/LVA

From Four Queens on Fremont to Red Rock Hotel and Casino in Summerlin

As I mentioned in my  last post, while going to bed at Four Queens, I set the sun as my alarm clock.  I ended up awake at 5:00 am.  I was out of my room at 6:30, first stop: Dunkin Donuts for coffee.  Dunkin Donuts is a huge part of why I love downtown.  First of all, it exists.  Second of all, you do not have to walk ten miles to find it.

I played around Binions a bit.  I love Binions and would love to give them a proper degenerate session.   My last many trips to Vegas, I have low rolled them.  I also wish they would reopen the hotel.  But from what I understand, they have an asbestos problem which would make that a project that would probably not pay off.

I started off playing Buffalo, which got my heart racing faster than the extra large coffee, as the machine makes this insanely loud noise when you insert cash.  I lost there, lost at Cleopatra Keno, lost on Double Double Bonus video poker and “won” a deck of cards in the Motherlode game.

I went outside to take the bus to Santa Fe to redeem a MyVegas reward for a free buffet.   I did this last year and had an accidental Keno win that ensured I will do this again every year.

The bus comes, I sit down and the next thing I know, I have a win even bigger than the accidental Keno win.  There is a PUPPY on this bus!  Oh it was so soft and so sweet.  I got the tiniest puppy kisses.  I did not take a photo because that would have required removing my hands from the puppy.  I. LOVE. DOGS. SO. MUCH.

Continue reading

I enter Santa Fe.  They have promotional kiosks all over the place (all Stations do) and none of them were working.  People were MAD.  This was the big buzz throughout the entire casino.  I felt bad for the people working at the Player’s Club because they were being given earfuls of whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

I got my MyVegas reward, which is actually good for two buffets.   As always, the cashier at Santa Fe offers that I can give the second one away to someone.  This was the only Stations that let me do this.  I gave it to the man behind me.  No, I did not have to sit with him. The cashier printed out two receipts.

After eating, I played around a bit.   I tried Hot Roll Poker for the first time and lost.   I gave that machine the finger and played some normal quarter Double Double Bonus video poker.  Here I hit four of a kind twos.

santa fe twos

On my way out, I played a penny Ultimate X Double Double Bonus video poker game. I love playing this in pennies because I can afford to play ten hands.  I hit this, which would have been more exciting if I was not playing pennies, but was still exciting because ACES ARE ALWAYS EXCITING.

santa fe ultimate x aces kicker

I got on the bus back to Four Queens.  I stopped at Binions again and went nutso there.  I was playing my Buffalo machine when some guy started playing the machine next to me.  But he did that thing people do, when instead of sitting down, they play leaning over the chair.  But he is leaning partially on MY chair.  I tried abruptly swiveling to knock him off and it didn’t work. I had to cash out because no way in hell was I going to risk the Wish RNG to land on me during the nano second I was wishing him to spontaneously combust instead of all the times I was wishing for a million dollar win.

I swipe for the Motherlode promotion now that I have 40 points again and AGAIN I win $10 credit for the cafe.  This is so first worlding my Four Queens Go Green dining credit!

I stopped to get water at Walgreens and noticed something was going on at The D.  Not sure what they are doing, but this is what the main floor looked like:

The D Las Vegas renovations

I went to the room for a bit and checked my email.  Cosmopolitan sent me an email thanking me for stopping by and offering me $15 free play if I came back by Friday.  I consider going right now as being on the bus will keep me from losing. But you know what, so will a nap.  And a nap is easier.  So I nap.

I wake up, go claim my Binions burger and come back to the room.  Even though I am booked to stay at Four Queens tonight, I am not.  I am checking out and heading to Red Rock.  I have a free night reward from MyVegas.  It seemed easier to do this.  I would wake up at Red Rock, use a MyVegas reward for breakfast and then take the free shuttle to the airport.  No, not to fly home.  But to continue on with my trip.  Brilliant idea.

Before leaving Fremont Street, I stopped to the same photo I take on every trip to Las Vegas:

fremont street las vegas

I took the bus to Red Rock.  This is pretty easy although I get that a lot of people are uncomfortable with branching out to bus lines that are not Strip bus lines.  The bus stops right at Red Rock.  I checked in and remembered how nice these rooms are.   It is really unfortunate Stations no longer participates in MyVegas.  These rewards were the best ones they offered.

red rock las vegas roomred rock las vegas bathroomred rock las vegas tubred rock las vegas room viewred rock las vegas room view of pool

I went downstairs to play.  I did not have on a coat or anything since my room was right upstairs / I wasn’t going to be going outside.  But the casino had the heat blasting so hot.  It was like this in most places during this trip.  But Red Rock went above and beyond with TOO FUCKING HOT IN HERE.  I am losing, I am sweating.  The Starbucks closed at some ridiculously early hour.  Like 8:00.  Toto, we are not on Fremont Street any longer.

While playing, I hit four of a kind twos for my second time today:

red rock las vegas twos

I continued until I had wiped out all the cash in my wallet and headed upstairs for bed.   As nice as these rooms are, they do have a flaw.  THIS BED FRAME.  I smashed my foot into it and suddenly remembered I did this the last time I was here years ago.  Thankfully this time I had on sneakers.  But it still hurt so very bad.

red rock las vegas death

Gambling Day: – $200
Gambling Trip: – $210
Miscellaneous: (bus, coffee, water, tips): $18
Comps used: Nope
Coupons: Nope
Freebies: Free night at Red Rock, calculated on the rate showing the day I booked it = $185.57 via MyVegas (this includes room cost, tax and resort fee, I paid zero), free buffet at Santa Fe via MyVegas = $6.99 (x two since it was for two, + tax), $10 meal at Binions from the Motherlode promotion.

Today’s itinerary:

Wednesday, December 21, 2016
Breakfast:  Santa Fe Station, 8-11 MyVegas
Lunch:
Dinner:
Four Queens Go Green credit
Silver Nugget / Lucky Club half off ACG
Jerry’s Nugget $5 free play ACG – 113 bus, 104 to LC
Jerry’s Nugget 10x video Keno
Check into Red Rock
Red Rock – swipe Polar Bear 5x entries Wednesday, must be present 8:15