Author Archives: jennifer

Las Vegas: My Biggest Win Ever!

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This morning, I wake up at Fremont Hotel for the last time and get in some last morning Cleopatra Keno.  Before heading out, I take a penny and throw it to see if it lands on heads (this means I will win) or tails (this means I will lose.)  IT. FUCKING. LANDS. ON. THE. SIDE. UP. AGAINST. THE. ARMOIRE.

YOU

MOTHER

FUCKER.

I stop at Dunkin Donuts, intending to pay for my coffee in all change because I cannot handle how many pounds of it I am accumulating.   I unzip the change compartment and drop my wallet.  There is so much change on the floor.  There is more change on the floor than there is at the bottom of Lake Bellagio.  I am so mad.  I pick up everything that is on heads, leaving behind who knows how much money, and pay for my drink and storm away SO MAD.

I start playing and I doubled a few $5 bills on Cleopatra Keno.  I went to visit my new bestie Double Double Bonus video poker machine and she gives me four of a kind sevens.

quarter sevens

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Las Vegas Trip Report: Being Oblivious To A Shooting on The Strip

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My sunlight alarm clock failed me today.  I slept until 9:00 am, even with the blinds completely open in the desert.

I am still at Fremont hotel, tonight will be my last night here before I move to the Strip.

I got up and got dressed.  Then something tragic happened.  My lucky penny from yesterday fell onto the floor and landed on tails.  Oh hell no.  I took a bunch of pennies out of my wallet and threw those around and picked up the ones that landed on heads.   The floor now has many pennies on tails scattered about and walking in my room means looking out for landmines.

I should also mention my current first world problem.  This is a problem that every person who plays slots, while being comped, faces.  Loose change.  I probably have about thirteen dollars in loose change on me by now.  All those times you cash out at an odd number really add up.  Since I am using cash for nothing, all my meals are comped, I am basically only able to get rid of $.33 every time I buy a Dunkin Donuts large iced coffee.  I cannot keep up with the growing change.  Even with my quarters out of my bag, set aside to play Sigma Derby, my bag is getting heavier and heavier with all this change.

I started my day playing Cleopatra Keno on a machine I have never played on before. All my normal Keno machines near the lobby are full so I had to seek out newer, funner machines.   This one hated being a Keno machine and had no problems letting me know this.  So I switched her to Double Double Bonus video poker and she rewarded me kindly.

quarter twos with kicker video poker fremont casino las vegas

quarter eights fremont casino las vegas

quarter jacks fremont casino las vegas

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Vegas: Find a Penny, Pick it up and all day long you’ll have good luck!

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Once again, I went to bed in Vegas with the blinds open so that the sun was my alarm clock.  I am still at Fremont hotel.  This morning I lingered around my room for awhile to delay my scheduled degeneracy.   I was out by 9:30.

I stopped at the Cleopatra Keno machines near the lobby.  These machines are a mere 43 steps from the room elevators.  Super convenient for me.

I lost $10 before winning $55.  I cashed out with $53.

Breakfast was at Binions today, using comps.  Once  I was done eating, I continued on my quest to play a minimum of $20 in every Downtown casino.  For all the time I spend down here, it sure has been a long time since I have darkened the doors of Golden Nugget and Golden Gate.  Maybe I just don’t like gold?

My first stop though, was Plaza.  I have a free play coupon and I want to win big with it.  The gambling gods denied me my wish.

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Secret Trip to Las Vegas Continues!

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I went to sleep last night in my Four Queens suite, with the drapes open on purpose so I would be woken up by the sun.   I love looking out the window first thing in the morning and wondering what is going to happen to me out there today.four queens suite las vegas room viewToday’s goal is to play at Four Queens and get them to love me.  I am not sure if I succeeded, but I sure could not win a damned thing.  I started with a $10 free play coupon and lost that.  Then kept going.

Sometimes you put in money and you play.  And then other times, you put in money and it just vanishes and you do not even get to play.  This was one of those latter mornings.  It is so frustrating.  My coffee didn’t even reach a temperature where I could take a sip without burning my mouth and already I am halfway through today’s budget.

Finally, a win.

quarter twos

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The Surprise Las Vegas Trip Report

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Hi Guys!  So I decided to go to Vegas and not tell anyone.  I figured I could handle acknowledging maybe three people doing a smug “I told you so” about me not going back.  I will also let you know I have already acknowledged four of these comments.  So if you must, feel free.  But I am going to ignore you.

I had some vacation time booked from work.  I was going to go somewhere.  I booked flights to and from Vegas.  Then I got buyer’s remorse and cancelled them within 24 hours.

I kept watching the rates and eventually, booked again.  Then came time to book my rooms.

It started with Boyd being a dick.  If you are a Boyd player, you already know the deal.  If you are not a Boyd player, then let me summarize it for you.  Boyd completely stopped their offers for a tiny bit.  Looking back, we now all know they were just adjusting their comp system so your comped nights could be used at all properties, rather than separate offers for separate properties.  But at the time, we did not know this because there was no communication.  I did however, have my Sapphire reward which is three free nights, immediately after making Sapphire.

My Sapphire reward was good at any Boyd property.  My choices for other nights were to stay at Orleans or pay for a room.  I decided I was never going to stay at Orleans again.  I love that hotel and casino but honestly, I never leave it when I am there. It does not matter what my plans are, I can never leave.  I just sit for hours and go degenerate.  Sometimes I try to leave.  Sometimes I even make it outside.  But when I start walking to the bus stop, I get so annoyed at the lengths it takes to get anywhere that I go back inside.

(Yes, I am aware of the free shuttle, which goes nowhere I would want to go.)

So I decided to book and pay for Four Queens on Hotwire.  You can pick out which one is Four Queen because it is the only three star hotel without a resort fee.  It is usually around $30, which makes it cheaper than paying a resort fee on a comped Strip hotel.

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Quick Trip to Resorts World Casino in Queens, NY

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A lot of people don’t know there is an actual casino in New York City.   This is probably because while technically being located inside New York City, it is so far away from everything that taking a trip there is probably not a good use of a tourist’s time.

I decided once it opened, that I should never go visit this place.  The idea of having a casino just a subway ride away was probably going to just result in degeneracy on a whole new level.

That said, I did end up going after MyVegas had announced rewards for this casino.   The rewards are pretty lacking.  There are dining rewards, gift shop rewards, but no free play.  Why do you not have free play DAMMIT.

So off I went.  I didn’t write about that first trip because it went kind of like this: I lost all my money in about ten minutes.  And discovered that spending $50 in their gift shop = one hand lotion, one bar of pomegranate soap and one pack of gummy bears.   Their selection of stuff is so tiny and extremely overpriced.  I mean let’s be fair, all casino gift shops are over priced.  But I was expecting more things to choose from.  I was not expecting to go home with SOAP.

Then I boarded the A train to get home.  That was a nightmare.  The A train connects to the Air Train for JFK airport.  When I got on the train, it was jam packed with so many people coming from their airport.  With so much luggage (who needs that much stuff?!?) and even more entitlement.   There were people who had clearly walked onto their train with their luggage and duffel bags, dumped their stuff right in the doorway and kept walking into the train.   I had to step over a whole lot of stuff to get onto the train.  Other people could not get out of the doorway and into the actual train, because of all the luggage blocking all the walkways.

I vowed I would never go to Resorts World again.

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Christmas Trip to Vegas: The Finale

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So I ended my last full day’s recap with a cliffhanger.  Was I going to fly home or was I going to stay?

Come on, you KNOW I stayed.

Which meant that instead of going to bed after dinner last night, I stayed out and went nutso again!   I lost everything I had from this trip’s first lucky streak earlier in the day too.   YAYAYAYAY.

I went to bed at around 3:00 am and woke up at 7:00 am to give it another go.

I started with breakfast at California’s coffee shop.  My notes say “I am already fucking hostile today.  Oh merry fucking Christmas.  I gave Buddha $.08 on my way here. I’ve got a little bit of time left to ruin my life.”   Aren’t I a joy in the morning?

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Las Vegas Christmas Trip: Last Full Day

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Waaaaaaahhhhhhh!  Don’t you hate waking up in Las Vegas knowing it is your last full day here?  Like seriously, the worst.  You begin thinking of all the things you wanted to do and didn’t get to. You start regretting your bad choices, your degenerate ways.  Sigh.

I woke up cloaked in self loathing at California hotel at 6:00 am and was out by 7:30 am.

First stop, Dunkin Donuts for iced coffee.  Second stop, the video poker machine that dealt me Aces yesterday.  The screen is messed up and I cannot get it to change over to quarters.  Fuck it, it is my last day.  I will play $.50.

YAY.

fifty cent eights

Then I moved to nickel Ultimate X.  Got some decent hits here, including everyone’s favorite, Aces with a Kicker. Continue reading →

Las Vegas Christmas Trip Report: Returning Downtown to Fremont Street

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Despite how insanely comfortable my bed was here at Green Valley Ranch, I was wide awake at 4:00 am.  Well I am in Las Vegas. Let’s…go gamble?

I stop for coffee at The Grand Cafe.  Meaning I ordered coffee, realized I didn’t put any cash in my wallet, and had to walk away to go back to my room which is a million miles away.  Halfway there I realized hurr durr, I own both credit cards AND I have comps on my Stations card.  I get that taken care of, sit down at a machine and HURR DURR HI I HAVE NO CASH ON ME.

Back to the room, back to the casino.

I decide to play Buffalo.  I can never say enough how much I love these games.  I am playing one of the ones with the super sized screen.  I get one bonus symbol, then a second, then a guy walks by and smacks my machine yelling “GET IT!  GET IT!  GET IT!” and I do!  And I win zero!  Oh.

I keep playing and get another bonus.  This time I win $118.  WOO!

I go back up to my room, it is only 5:30.  I pack my stuff and lay down for an hour.  Then it is back out for breakfast.  I get a buffet, free from MyVegas.  My goal is to catch the 9:00 shuttle to the airport, so I can catch the WAX bus to downtown.  I am moving to my last hotel of this trip today, California.  I am very anxious to get down there because I want to be there NOW.

Let me tell you guys something.  I do not know how I got this lucky.  But my shuttle from Green Valley Ranch pulled into Zero Level at the airport, just as the WAX was pulling up.  I was in my room at California by 10:00.  That is right.  I left Green Valley Ranch on a shuttle at 9:00 am, took a bus downtown and was checked in, and inside my room, only one hour later.  It was a Christmas-Eve-Eve miracle.

California has remodeled a bunch of their rooms, but I am given an old one.  I don’t care because I love this hotel and would happily accept any room here.  Except that one where the roof leaked onto my bed and soaked it.

On my way out, I stop to rub Buddha’s belly. I tell him all about how I was in his birth country earlier this year.  He just laughed at me.

california hotel vegas buddha

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Las Vegas: Hopping Around Between MyVegas Rewards

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The beds at Red Rock are so comfortable.  I had my longest night’s sleep here.  I could have slept many more hours, but I need to eat and skedaddle as I am in Las Vegas and I have plans today.

First stop, Player’s Club to get my free MyVegas buffet loaded.  The line for the buffet was so long.  It is every time I come here.  It honestly is no wonder they discontinued their relationship with MyVegas.  Quite frankly, they don’t need it.

I play around a bit but I am short on time as I need to be on the 11:00 shuttle.  When I originally planned this trip, I was going to take the airport shuttle to the airport, and switch over to the Green Valley Ranch airport shuttle, as I am staying there tonight. However this changed slightly when I decided to get my hair done.  I am overdue for a Keratin treatment and my roots are insanely imitating what they looked like back in the 80’s.

Since I have been traveling so much, I didn’t have time to get this done before I left home.  I don’t really have time to get it done when I get back home.  So why not get it done in Vegas?  I will either be curbing a gambling loss, or preserving a win by being out of a casino for a few hours.  Right?

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