I woke up at 5:00 AM this morning, which makes sense since I fell asleep just after 7:00. I used the Starbucks app for…..Starbucks. I really wish there were an option to do room charge via the app since I have resort credit.
The elevators here at Rio are very quick but there were a TON of people checking out at this ungodly hour, with a shit ton of luggage and handcarts filled with what looked like shopping sprees from Costco with appliances and huge boxes of snacks. I don’t know if this is a normal thing or if maybe there was something going over the weekend that attracted large groups with food and appliances?
I played Dancing Drums Prosperity and god this thing hated me. It did give me this though, after I put in $200.
Welcome to yet another insanely long Las Vegas trip report! I left NYC on December 13 and flew back home late night on December 30. This is my favorite time to be in Vegas. The weather is perfect. The week before the week of Christmas is usually pretty dead. There used to be a lot of promos such as point multipliers at this time. Those seem to have slowly gone away though.
I had started to document my planning of this trip, including the many changes to hotels as offers came in. It ended up getting completely overwhelming, even to me. So I’ll spare you that part of the planning process.
I decided I could not stay in any hotel I had stayed in during the past five years. The reason for this? Some people have traditions in Vegas, I have bad habits. I cannot tell you how many times I have made the loop from my room at Fremont, to the Dunkin Donuts, to my favorite machines (of which there are only three: Ultimate X, that one quarter DDB machine, and the Cleopatra Keno near the live Keno.) I wanted to break the cycle, and decided I would set a rule that I can only stay in hotels that I have either never stayed in before, or have not stayed in for many years. The only exception would be that I could stay one night at Four Queens, because I had accidentally purchased a $50 credit on the Binions game, so it would be going to waste if I did not use it. This worked out PERFECTLY because from the time I purchased this non-refundable award, and the time this trip came along, that voucher was good for a night at Apache. This meant I could see a new Binions room for FREE.
Booking this trip proved very difficult to do inside those parameters. It was very hard for me to not stay at Fremont, especially when I had an offer, and when there is a Dunkin Donuts inside the casino. It was VERY difficult for me to agree to paying a resort fee at Park MGM, when on the same night I could be at Fremont for $0, just to adhere to my rule. At least my Park MGM offer came with $40 free play and $50 resort credit. But I told myself that the resort fee was a price I was paying to not be a degenerate making a beeline to my favorite machines.
So in the end, I signed up to pay resort fees on EIGHT nights.
On the day I left for Vegas, it looked like:
3 comped nights at Paris: Paying only the resort fee. I have not stayed here in so many years. Possibly longer than ten years? This offer may or may not come with $70 free play. The offer for $70 free play is showing in my account. But there is a glitch with the offer code that shows it needed to be booked by August, for dates good through 2020. This is obviously incorrect as the offer that supposedly needed to be booked by August, is still showing in my account in December. Let’s see how this goes.
1 comped night at Park MGM: Paying only the resort fee. I have only stayed here when it was Monte Carlo, over a decade ago. My offer came with $40 slot play and $50 dining credit.
2 nights comped at Downtown Grand: 100% comped, no resort fee, $10 in free play to use twice. I have stayed here before as Lady Luck, never as Downtown Grand. This was double booked with two nights at Fremont that I booked just for the freebies. $10 slot play and $20 dining. Yes, I will check into a hotel for a measly $30 in freebies.
3 nights comped at Fitzgeralds….er I mean The D: The room and resort fees were comped but I did pay $10+ tax per night for a smoking room. My last stay here was a very long time ago, which was also coincidentally the last time I had a comped offer from them. This came with $25 dining and $20 free play. I double booked this with El Cortez, for the freebies. It came with $25 dining and $25 free play.
3 nights comped at Wynn, via their mobile app: 100% comped, no resort fees. I last stayed here a million years ago. I am hoping for an upgrade to Encore, which would have me finally staying at every Strip hotel.
2 nights comped at Treasure Island: 100% comped, no resort fees, $100 free play and 30% off spa services. I have never had a comped offer here. My last (and only) paid stay was over a decade ago. This was double booked with one night at Apache, using a voucher from the Binions app. I kind of did want to stay at Apache, but I also kind of hate non smoking rooms. So I’ll check in just because it is free, and to see the new rooms.
4 comped nights at The Linq: I last stayed here when it was The Quad. I had previously stayed numerous times when it was Imperial Palace. I used to love booking it for my first night, so I could stand on the balcony and see the Strip. The balconies are long gone. This was a late offer that included $70 free play and $150 resort credit.
A lot of people get really horrified about hotel changes. Honestly, I don’t see the big deal. I have comps at all these places, which means I play at all these places. If I am going to go and play at these places anyway, why not take an extra few minutes to check in and restart my trip? It really doesn’t make a difference in my future comps. I always hop around and my offers are based on that.
Then came the actual trip planning. A lot of people do not like making plans for Vegas. I love making plans for Vegas. I spend so many hours planning trips, only to arrive in Vegas and forget I ever did that.
I normally have an insane itinerary that is both color coded and detailed. It has very few things to actually do other than switch hotels, casino promos and planned coupon runs. For this trip though, in an attempt to not spend the entire time gambling degenerately, I had to find things to do. I decided to do one thing per day.
What counts as a thing?
I had the same question myself.
In the past, I would put faraway locals casinos in this category. Nothing like spending an hour on a bus to gamble in an unfamiliar casino, right? But this defeats the purpose. So I decided that a thing would be a show, a spa treatment or an attraction that you paid for. So no, walking past the Bellagio fountains while between degenerate sessions at Cosmo and degenerate sessions as Cromwell, did not count.
I knew I wanted to see the Friends parody show at The D. Why has no one ever told me this exists?
I used a MyVegas reward for Ka. I fell asleep through this show in the theater the last time I actually saw it. I also fell asleep in my bed rather than going to the show the last time I had a ticket for it. But hey, it is a “thing” and it is free.
I also added a rule that I had to eat somewhere I have never eaten at before, every day. As I was planning the trip, I had to switch this to “eat somewhere you have not eaten in years.” Downtown doesn’t really have too many places I haven’t eaten at, at least once. The idea was pretty much to break my bad habits and force me to not follow the same pattern as normal, so this rule worked. But it would be stupid to give up dining credit. For places like Boyd properties or El Cortez, there aren’t many choices to use these at places I don’t eat at regularly.
As the trip came closer, there were so many changes and additions to my planning. Offers came in, hotels were changed. Then Vegas.com had a crazy Black Friday promo where for every purchase, you got a $50 credit emailed to you the next day. I ended up booking so many things that it would be impossible to actually do them all.
Finally, the day is here. The day I am leaving for Las Vegas! IT IS HERE IT IS TODAY I AM LEAVING TODAY FOR LAS VEGAS.
I worked from home and treated myself to a Lyft to the airport as it was storming outside. The airport was a mess. TSA were very short staffed. I was flying Mint so I had Even More Speed, which means I can skip the TSA line. Normally it would take about 3 minutes to get through security. Tonight it took over an hour. The line was full of assholes who would not prepare when they got close to the front of the line. They would wait until the last second to take their shoes off, and to take their liquids and laptops out. At some point, people decided it was okay to cut. It was not. I yelled at a couple who tried to cut me, and then just kept going about how I don’t understand why people wait until the very last second to take their liquids out of their bags. I definitely caused a scene. The TSA worker definitely slow clapped my tempter tantrum.
Once I was finally through security, I could hear the last call announcement for my flight. I made it, without time to stop for the restroom. The doors closed before I had even settled in my seat.
Tonight I am flying JetBlue Mint for the first time ever. This is very exciting to me. I have never had a lay down seat on my flight before. I had ordered a Plane Eats meal, since fancy food is not my thing. My meal didn’t make it on the flight. I was offered to pick anything from the pay menu, and it would be free. I picked a sandwich. Guess what, they don’t have anything from that menu. I ended up with a cheese plate, and a whole lot of apologies.
I had my own cabin so it felt private when I was laying down, even though the door only comes up a couple of feet of the ground. So anyone walking by me could look down and see me sleep. I don’t think the seat was as comfortable as I have read about. Your feet go into this little cubby, which felt weird. But overall, I loved having no one near me and being able to lay down.
I arrived in Vegas at midnight and took an Uber to Paris, which is my first hotel of this trip. For some reason, I have 50% off Uber on the app. That was a nice surprise.
Check in was dead. Huge plus of arriving at this time of year.
I was given room 1690, which was the last smoking Strip view room and the check in person had to get permission to give it to me. This was the room type I booked, but I suppose they may have needed it for someone more important than me. Luck was on my side and I was given my keys and sent off to my room.
Night view:
Room view I took the following morning:
I did the thing I always do on night one. I write in my notes about how I feel like I could just go to bed and not gamble the first night, but then decide to anyway. Fuck it, I deserve a reward for surviving the flight, right?
I lost my entire daily budget on dollar Double Double Bonus video poker. I kind of had to, ya know?
I am off to bed at 2:30, psyched as all hell to know I still have over two weeks left in this trip. Anything can happen.
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Welcome to a long overdue Las Vegas trip report! Let’s face it, I am the world’s worst blogger who (at the time I started this post) was posting maybe ten posts a year. Now that I am getting around to actually posting it, I am averaging zero posts a year. As a matter of fact, I am such a horrible blogger than when my account came up for renewal almost a year ago, I didn’t even notice my credit card had expired and my blog went away. Thank you the lovely Ms. Geri for contacting me about that.
This trip was to kick off 2018 without wanting to slit my wrists after returning from a month long trip to Myanmar in December 2017. I had decided that in 2018, I was going to take more frequent and shorter trips. So why not start off with Las Vegas?
I changed my dates a couple of times. I finally settled on January 26 through February 3, so that I could double dip and use my Boyd offers from January and February. I filled the middle in with a three night offer from El Cortez (which I booked for two nights, and stayed only one) and a two night comped stay at Cosmopolitan.
I also booked a one night MyVegas room at Excalibur so I could use some MyVegas buffet rewards that require a stay. I had zero intention of staying there. People really have opinions on whether or not this is ethical. I personally don’t care. I had the points, I booked the room. “This is why all the good rewards are gone! People book rewards and don’t play!!!” I promise you, I gave MLife more than enough to cover the one night stay at Excalibur. As a matter of fact, this comped room was an offer I got sent based on that degenerate play. It was not a MyVegas reward.
I armed with a Member Rewards Book from Las Vegas Advisor, an American Casino Guide, and a bunch of MyVegas rewards. I get six rewards because I have bought a lot of chips. I redeemed them for free plays and buffets.
I like to try new things on every trip. And by “try new things” I really mean “go degenerate in a casino I have never been to before.” This trip I would like to visit Skyline.
I am also going to be trying French Toast Pizza. I saw a photo of it online and have been determined to get there, still have not.
This sounds like a good place to start the actual report.
January 26, 2018
I found a penny on heads at the airport. It seems to be a new thing that I excel at. I used to also be really good at having an empty middle seat. I am one of those people who obsessively check the seats on flights before I board them. I am aiming to have an empty middle seat which is everyone’s dream correct? Right before I went through security, I checked and yes, the seat next to me is empty.
For one time ever we finally board on time. I don’t think this has ever happened when I’ve left in the evening from JFK Airport. Of course the door should be shutting anytime now. Okay how about now. Hey maybe shut the door is now. Isn’t everyone on this plane already?
Enter the stragglers. One of which is seated right next to me in my empty middle seat.
The plane takes off a little bit late. I was having issues with my headphones. You know how sometimes you have to twist them around to get the earphones to actually play in your ears between the sound of static? That’s what was happening to me. After about 15 minutes I finally got the headphones in the perfect place where they were playing in both ears. And then the guy next to me has to get up and pee.
Although it was not his fault, I was still very annoyed at the fact that I had just got my headphones perfectly positioned to work, and now I have to move them so that he can get out.
This happened seven more times.
Obviously this person had some sort of issue. His son or who anyway who I assume is the son, offered to switch seats with me so I can have the window seat. In retrospect, I should have said yes with the caveat that I want the aisle back before we land. Then I could have had a window seat, a working headphone jack, and still have been in the aisle to run the fuck off the plane. Wait why did I not do this? God dammit. Now I am mad at ME.
We land in Las Vegas. I bolt outside hoping to catch the WAX that left about two minutes ago, but maybe it was delayed. Spoiler alert: It wasn’t. I sit down on a bench to wait for the CX bus. I look down and see a penny. But it was on tails. No, go away YOU.
Some guy comes and stands next to my bench. The only thing he has with him is a clear liter sized plastic bag, with his liquids and his passport. Not quite sure where his luggage was. I put my headphones on to listen to Frank Sinatra’s “Luck be a Lady Tonight”. I hate this song but it has found it’s way into my ritual of winning. I took my headphones off when the bus pulled up and the driver got out and lit a cigarette. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be the CX bus or the WAX bus. So I asked him. That opened up a door for him to talk to me and ask me to hang out with him later. No thank you.
I got to the Fremont Hotel at 10:44. I checked into my room, which is room 416. I do not have any room photos but here is my view:
Fremont now has security guarding the elevators. They have zero emotion or expression and sometimes you need to ask them to push the elevator button as they stand basically blocking it. I think this is supposed to make you feel safe. In the room I noticed a little sign that they would be checking rooms with a Do Not Disturb sign for longer than thee days. I didn’t notice if anyone had entered my room.
I put my lucky penny that I had found in the airport in my bra before running outside to play.
I stopped at Dunkin Donuts of course. Then I played at Binions. I lost $100 pretty quick on my video poker machine that on my last trip gave me a Royal Flush followed by Aces with a kicker. I had $10 free play and I lost that too. I move to a Buffalo slot machine and lost yet another hundred. I’m only supposed to gamble $100 total tonight. So since I’ve already lost twice that, I obviously put another $100 bill in another Buffalo slot machine and hit a bonus for $432. Wahoo!
I played some more video poker and got a really weird hand. I got four nines on the draw.
I played Buffalo again I hit a $118 bonus which included this beauty:
I probably would have stayed and played forever but I am absolutely exhausted. I do my swipes for the Motherlode promotion at Binions before I head to bed. I had enough points for three swipes. The first one I got a free gift, the second I got $15 dining credit, the third was yet another free gift. I did not even try to redeem the gifts, I am not interested in lugging crap home.
I was in bed by 2:40 am. Despite my big wins, I end up only $90. Because degenerate.
I am awake at 7:00 at Fremont Hotel in beautiful Downtown Las Vegas. I love reading the notes I write in the morning. So much whining about not wanting to go home tomorrow. It turns out I priced flights home for the next day, so I could stay an extra day. But they were $200 so nope. I also wrote if I win $1000, I would buy a new flight home. I do not remember writing this. Let’s see how that goes, shall we?
I am out of my room at 8:00. I count my steps and 41 of them later, I am at the Dunkin Donuts counter.
I decide to try a four game Buffalo slot machine here. After almost losing $40, I got a $79 bonus. It was less exciting and way more relieving.
I head over to Binions and right off the bat, look what I got on Cleopatra Keno! That’s quarters, so $272.50. Now we’re talking!
I walked from here to Main Street Station. I have never played video poker at their Boar’s Head Bar. This is a very well known video poker bar. Guys, it reeks of vomit up there. Like terribly. Still I played and hit four of a kind sixes (no photo) and four of a kind tens (photo!)
I have this brilliant idea to put the $75 TITO I got here, into a dollar video poker game. Because I have never gotten a dollar royal and I am overdue. Aaaaaaaaaaaaand I am still overdue because I hit nothing.
I have a $60 TITO left and I only ventured $40 cash so I am still up $20, despite having just lost $75. Degenerate math in full effect ova heeeeeeeeeeyah.
I played some Ultimate X Double Double Bonus video poker in nickels. YAY.
I leave here and stop at my California Buffalo on my way back to Binions. I am totally kicking ass today.
Oh wow! You guys, I am doing it. I am having the perfect Las Vegas morning. This is the greatest thing ever!
I stop and play some Double Double Bonus video poker on quarters . The progressive Royal is $1670. I want this so very badly but $100 did not get it, so I walk back to Binions.
I play around here a bit and before I know it, I have 40 points to get two swipes for the Motherlode promotion. The first is for a free gift, the second is for $15 dining credit. I take that to the coffee shop with me and get a cheese omelet. The food here is always excellent, even more so when it is free.
It is 11:48 as I eat breakfast. I am going to do a “cigarette after eating” stop and then go take a nap.
I sat down at a machine that was very nice to me back in March. I play quarter Double Double Bonus video poker. First hit: That glare bothers me. I could not at all get a photo without it in it. I had the same problem back in March.
I keep playing.
And.
Get.
My.
Next.
Hit.
Now I know what you are thinking. You are thinking things like “Oh shit, Jennifer hit a Royal Flush!!!” Well guys, I hate to tell you this, but you are wrong.
See.
I did not get a Royal Flush.
I got a Royal Flush AND ACES WITH A KICKEROH MY GOD HOLY SHIT LOOK AT IT.
Holding one Ace. Do you believe this shit? I could not. I just sat there gaping at it.
I cashed out for $1600 and went to my room to show my cute little stuffed dog what his mom did. I also tried taking an obligatory cash spiral photo but i suck at it. Not only cannot I not master a cool spiral, I only pulled out the Royal winnings and forgot to include the rest. Oops?
I am awake way too early this morning. But I have to be. Because it is my last (and only second) morning waking up on the Las Vegas Strip during this trip. I have coupons from Lettuce Entertain You, which includes a flat out $20 off Mon Ami Gabi. No purchase necessary. There are also coupons for $10 off Stripburger, $15 off El Segundo, $25 off Joe’s and $30 off Eiffel Tower Restaurant.
BUT before I eat, I must play. Cromwell Ultimate X video poker:
This morning I woke up in beautiful Downtown Las Vegas at California hotel. I began to pack for a hotel switch to Four Queens. As I was doing this, I found a can of Pringles in my bag that I had forgot about. I then picked it up, the top fell off and now my suitcase is filled with a million potato chip crumbs. ARGH. I am done with this place. I finish packing and check out. I leave my keys in the room because I do not need them anymore. The second the door shuts I realize there is Diet Pepsi in my refrigerator. Damn it all to hell.
I check my bags at the Four Queens Bell Desk and get on a bus. Today I am going to the Mirage to visit the beautiful Buffalo slot machine that gave me $1800 back in March.
I took the CX bus to Treasure Island. It is hot out. I walk through Treasure Island to take the tram. The tram is not running. So I walk back through Treasure Island to get outside to walk in the heat, so much heat. HOT BURNING DEATH FIREBALL SKY.
One thing I love about waking up in Las Vegas is that anything can happen on that day. You legit have no clue what notes you will be writing out when you get back to your room tonight. This morning I am looking out my window at the California hotel at 7:00 am and wishing for the gambling gods to PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE before I get dressed and go out for the day.
I am out by 8:30. I find a penny on heads outside the elevator. Excellent sign.
I play my Buffalo machine here and lose. I decide to put a $20 into quarter Double Double Bonus video poker machine and lose that too. As I am playing it, I have the realization that I have barely played any video poker this trip. This probably explains why I am doing so terribly. My last trip was Buffalo win heavy but I was just incredibly lucky.
That said, I walked over to Binions and played BUFFALO. Nope, still not a winner.
I wanted to have breakfast at Magnolia’s at Four Queens since I have accumulated a bunch of comps here, but the line in insane. Back to Binions I go. I get an omelet and have to pay a couple of dollars for it. Such sacrilege in a town where I am used to comps. I get an iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts and try the casino in Binions again. The only win I get is the Motherlode promotion which gives me a free root beer float. I’ll save this for later.
If you are just tuning in, let me catch you up: I am waking up at California on day four of one of my most unlucky trips to Las Vegas. It isn’t just the losing, although there is plenty of that. It is the fire alarms, the lack of early check ins and the methamphetamine serial killer that would not take my life yesterday.
I am up at 5:12 and I catch the 6:12 am WAX bus to Hooters. Except the WAX bus does not stop AT Hooters. Which I did not realize until we were passing it without stopping. I got off at the next stop and made the long walk back in the desert summer sun. Hate.
I have both the Las Vegas Advisor and American Casino Guide coupons for $10 free play at Hooters. Do you want to guess how that went? Exactly.
Then I went to Tropicana. But I do not have my card. And I am too lazy / heat exhausted to care. So I just keep playing random Buffalo machines, making my way from the entrance I entered, to the exit on the other side. Where I left with way less money than I entered with.
I was asleep at Planet Hollywood in Vegas when I am awoken by this loud as all fuck noise. At first I think it is my phone. I jump out of bed to make it stop, why is it so fucking LOUD. But it isn’t stopping. I turn on the light and realize it is the fire alarm. It is 3:00 am and the fire alarm is going off, louder than anything that was ever loud before it. It is so loud. SO. FUCKING. LOUD.
I don’t know what to do. Obviously you are supposed to do something, like leave your room. But I don’t want to. I am comfy in my jam jams and just want my heart to stop palpitating. The alarm is not stopping. There are no announcements. I know to not call the front desk, I will be one of a million. I peek out the peep hole on my door and there is nothing out there. Fuck I guess I will get dressed and go downstairs.
As I am putting my shoes on, it stops. Then comes the announcement that it was a false alarm. Then that announcement begins repeating a million fucking times. Holy shit. I came to Vegas to win a million dollars but the real million dollar win will be me inventing a system for hotels where their guests can push a button to acknowledge they heard the first 75 announcements that it was a false alarm. Then it can fucking STOP IT ALREADY.
Good morning Las Vegas! I wake up at New York, New York. It is 6:30 am. I am out by 7:00 and I make a beeline to MY Buffalo slot machine that I could not play last night. I cash out up $25.
I walk over to Excalibur to use a MyVegas reward for breakfast. It is so incredibly hot, even this early in the morning. Bonus: The Excalibur MLife desk doesn’t open until 8:00 so I have half an hour to kill. Wish I would have known this when I was still at MY Buffalo machine at New York, New York.
I play nickel Caveman Keno machine, one nickel at a time. Surprisingly, I double a $5 and then it is time to go.
The Excalibur buffet is very good nowadays. And I am not just saying this because I love that they have Sobe water as a drink option.
I head back to New York, New York I love the view of the casino from the escalator.
That glare bothers me. I could not at all get a photo without it in it. I had the same problem back in March.
