Ah yes, I am beyond overdue in bringing you yet another 18 day trip report from Las Vegas at Christmas.

What is kind of amusing is that I am well aware that these do better when posted somewhat timely.  And you know what?  I could actually lie and tell you this trip was recent.  All I would have to do is leave out all mentions of Christmas, and avoid Bellagio conservatory photos (which I absolutely hate taking and editing) and you would never know.

But I can’t actually do that.  Because then how could I show you the Dunkin Donuts Christmas tree?!

Hotels for this trip:

California
Circa (on opening night!)
The D(ick)
Sam’s Town
Flamingo
Bellagio
Cosmopolitan
California x 2

I take an Uber to the airport.   I am still not used to doing this, since pre-Covid, I would take public transport.  I leave my apartment 4 hours before my flight.  I don’t have any idea what traffic is going to be like.  Yes, it is the night before a holiday weekend.  But it is also a pandemic.

Well I didn’t leave early enough, that’s for damn sure.  We sat in standstill traffic forever and I got to the airport 1 hour and 15 minutes before my flight, making the car ride 2 hours and 45 minutes.  For reference, I live 19 miles from JFK.

I keep saying next time maybe I’ll book a room at the TWA hotel before my flight.  Maybe next time I actually will?

I get to security and the guy in front of me waits until he is at the belt to start taking things out of his bag / start taking his shoes off.  He is with a woman in a wheelchair so he is also helping her.  Every time he bends over, I see his full ass crack and it is very dark and repulsive and I just really hate this person and want to scream my lungs out every time he bends over.  He bends over a lot.

I go through security and my bag does not come out.  I assume it is held for something.  The TSA people at JFK are not the nicest and no one wants to help me.  I am petrified I am going to miss my flight.  Finally we determine that zero of the bags set aside for a second look are mine, and that someone took my bag.

TSA look at the video tapes.  Someone finds a black backpack no one is claiming.  The thought is that the owner took my bag and left theirs behind.  My flight started boarding 5 minutes ago.

They go through the left behind bag and find a wallet and begin paging the person.  Guess who comes walking up?  That fucking dickbag with the dirty black asshole.  Not only does he have my bag in his right hand, in his left hand is (I want to vomit) my cute little stuffed dog.  He is touching my stuff, he is touching my dog.  I grab my dog and my bag out of his hands and start screaming at him like the bipolar lunatic that I am.  You took my bag, don’t touch my stuff, you are a fucking asshole, I fucking hate you, it is not bad enough I had to see your fucking repulsive asshole 50 times, DON’T TOUCH MY DOG.

The TSA dude steps between us.  “Ma’am?  You are going to miss your flight” and I run down the ramp to my gate yelling about how much I fucking hate people while giving the finger over my head.  I am still holding my cute little stuffed dog in my hand.  I definitely looked crazy.

I was halfway hoping that guy would be on my flight because I wanted to keep screaming at him, but he was not.

I board the plane and realize I left my headphones in my backpack which is overhead.  I stand up and grab it and immediately someone else boarding the plane puts his bag in the spot he just saw me take mine from.  I tell him I need to put my bag back up there (the overhead bin was full) and he gets pissy with me.  I load up some of my surplus anger at the douche who took my bag and touched my dog, into my eyebrows, and give him the death stare.  He takes his bag out of my spot.

We arrive at 9:53 pm and my bag is the first one out.  I grab an Uber to California, which is my first hotel of the stay.  I have a grand total of zero photos from tonight.

I am given room 2209, which I assume is the same as all other rooms I have had here, if I did not take any photos.  If you are new here and wanting to see photos, you can do so HERE.

I am pretty hungry but this is the chapter of Covid where you must have reservations to eat anywhere except take out places.  The Binions cafe closes at 11, which is right now.  So does Market Street Cafe.  I don’t know about Magnolias at Four Queens because I don’t want to sit here calling places anymore.  So I say fuck it and try Uber Eats.  Wow.   Every fucking place on here is not available.  Probably literally an hour from the time I started trying to find anywhere to eat,  I am able to place an order at Wendys which was a terrible mistake.  Current wait time is 50 minutes.  For the first meal in Las Vegas. I should really have just went to bed.

But no.

CASINO!

I can’t do too much damage on night one if I am locked into meeting my Uber Eats driver, right?  Wrong!

I lost $200 in dollar video poker (not in the budget, asshole) and then another $100 on Buffalo Wonder Four.

As always on losing first nights, I have that pit of dread in my stomach telling me maybe I made a mistake booking such a long trip.  What if every night is like this?!  I wrote a lot of doom and gloom while killing time waiting for my cold, gross Wendys to show up.

Bed, depressed, at 12:53 AM.

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